


Yours to Keep

by colormyheartred



Series: world unknown [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-06-04 10:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 107,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6654817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colormyheartred/pseuds/colormyheartred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to World Unknown. Emma and Killian navigate through a new season of life with the sudden growth and popularity of the band.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

one.

**month nineteen. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma Swan is happy.

She hurries to slide her feet into her shoes and steps quickly into the bathroom. Giving her hair a once over, she bites down on her lip.

Killian has his toothbrush in his mouth and she smiles softly, turning to him. “Okay. Gotta go, Handsome. Elsa’s waiting for me.”

She pushes up on her toes to kiss his cheek and he grins at her as soon as he spits out his toothpaste. “I’ll see you there.”

Emma smiles coyly at Killian. “I look forward to meeting you there all dressed up.”

He smirks. “I could say the same for you, my dear.”

She awards him one last once-over before she heads down the hall and down the stairs.

She grabs a flower from a side table and heads into the living room, where Elsa sits up at a vanity. Her younger sister, Anna, stands behind her, with a giddy smile on her lips.

“Emma, thank you so much for letting us use your house,” Anna says as she brushes Elsa’s hair.

“It’s no problem,” Emma twirls the flower between her fingers as she walks around the vanity to look at the bride-to-be, her heart full. “Well, are you excited?”

Elsa smiles wide, her eyelashes fluttering prettily against her soft pale skin. “Yes. I’m very excited. I’m just a little nervous that I’ll mess up my words, but… Liam has already told me he doesn’t care what I say, just that I say I do.”

Anna giggles and finishes the braided crown on her sister’s head. Emma moves to slide the flower from her hand into Elsa’s hair and sighs.

“I feel like it was just yesterday you were watching me get married. And now I’m watching you marry my husband’s brother.”

Elsa laughs. “I know. It’s crazy how everything works out.”

Emma hears Killian come pounding down the stairs at that moment and he calls out, “I’ll see you ladies at the church!”

“Bye!” they echo back just before the door closes.

Emma takes a deep breath and Elsa stands up, twirling in her wedding gown just a little. “You look beautiful, Elsa.”

“Stunning,” Anna agrees. “Absolutely stunning. I have never seen someone prettier!”

Elsa blushes and shakes her head. “Don’t say that! You both looked so beautiful on your wedding days, too.”

Emma laughs and grabs Elsa’s hands. “You can have your day, too, you know. You don’t always have to be so worried about everyone else’s happiness.”

Elsa sighs. “Okay. Fine. I’ll have my day.” She smiles happily. “I’m just excited to marry him.”

“It’ll be _so_ nice to have another girl in the family,” Emma teases, shaking their hands about.

The bride-to-be giggles and shakes her head. “I cannot wait to be sisters.”

///

**month nineteen. church, storybrooke, maine.**

As Emma watches Killian from her place at the end of the aisle, she has a little smile on her lips she can’t wipe away.

She’s holding a bouquet of flowers and he’s all dressed up in a suit, and it almost feels as if there isn’t anyone else in the room watching them. There aren’t, not really. Liam and Elsa have kept their guest list small, and have only invited a select few to the little seaside town in Maine for their special day.

Killian has a broad smile on his face, as if he’s so incredibly, impossibly proud that she is his, and he bounces on the balls of his feet for a moment, wiggling his eyebrows because of it.

Liam stands beside him, his own smile pleasant. He looks to be nervous, though, and she finds it endearing, because Liam Jones is one of the most forward of gentlemen she has ever met in her life and she thinks Elsa is the only woman strong and bold enough to tame him.

When she stands at the altar beside Anna, Killian watches her. He has a wry little smile on his lips and she just shakes her head, blushing a little at the way he’s eyeing her up in the middle of his older brother’s wedding.

It’s a beautiful ceremony. When Elsa walks the aisle, Emma watches Liam’s face, and Killian gets an excited look on his, clapping his brother on the back excitedly.

Their vows are sweet and simple, just like their love, and Emma can tell that they absolutely belong together in the way they both keep smiling and blushing.

Liam holds Elsa’s hands until it’s time to exchange rings and her heart squeezes warmly when they say their I do’s.

It’s far more special than when she and Killian had their wedding and she feels a little sad about that, because now she has his ring on her finger and they haven’t really started planning this exchange of new vows yet.

However, she knows they don’t have to. They’re already married. She wants it to be perfect and she wants it to be theirs, so when they’re ready, she thinks that’s when they’ll do it.

///

**month nineteen. _the jewel of the realm,_ storybrooke, maine.**

Elsa and Liam are both so _happy_ as they start to sway on the deck of _The Jewel_. Emma clutches her hands over her heart as she watches them.

Killian’s singing a song that he wrote for her, but it’s still applicable as she watches the two newlyweds bask in this special moment.

She thinks back briefly onto her own wedding day, about that first dance she’d shared with Killian, and a tiny smile fills her lips, because despite her walls, he’d still managed to make her smile.

And after the first dance, the band continues to play, but Killian tucks his guitar away and hurries to join her at their table.

He kisses her behind her ear and whispers, “You are too bloody gorgeous to leave unattended.”

Emma rolls her eyes and allows him to drape his arm around her while his lips press against the side of her head for a moment.

“I’ve got to make the first toast, but I’ll be right back.”

She laughs softly. “You’ll be great, babe.”

“I know,” he whispers cheekily.

///

Killian sweeps Emma off her feet a few minutes after they’re allowed to start dancing and she laughs, because he’s so eager.

“I have been itching to dance with you all day, my love,” he says on a grin.

Emma hums happily. They sway and he twirls with her once.

“You look really handsome today, Killian.”

His smirk spreads fast. “Yeah?” He glances down at himself and then at her, curling her close to him just so he can put his lips against the shell of her ear and whisper, “And you look gorgeous.”

Emma sighs. She blushes at his compliment and presses her head against his collarbone. “It’s such a beautiful wedding.”

“Aye,” he agrees. “They did a good job planning it.”

Emma takes a deep breath and releases it. “Yeah. They did.”

Moving back, she smiles up at him, feeling bittersweet about it. Killian cants his head to the side, obviously sensing it. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she insists, pressing her hands against his chest. “Nothing.”

He narrows his eyes at her. “Is this because we haven’t planned our second wedding since I proposed?”

Emma bites on her tongue and she shrugs. “I guess, maybe.”

Killian hums. “It’s been seven months; I guess we’re due for it.”

Her shoulders fall and she gives him a hard look. “I don’t want you to think I _need_ it, Killian. It shouldn’t be forced.”

Her husband shakes his head. “No, love, I definitely want to do it. It’s just… we’ve got so much going on right now.”

Emma gives him another look, laughing slightly. “What? We’re going to go to California for a show next month. That’s all we have going on right now.”

Killian sighs. He holds her hand tighter and she starts to sense something that makes her stomach twist.

He hesitates. “Well, the boys and I are thinking we should probably do more this year. We’re, well, they’re tired of staying nearby. I know it makes sense for us, but I think going across the map might be nice.”

She sighs. “Killian, you know I’m working hard-”

“Aye, there isn’t any doubt you are,” he promises, shushing her. He shakes his head. “I’m just saying that because of the success of the band, it’s a bit silly to limit ourselves. Our downloads are staggering and the numbers just keep getting higher.”

Emma swallows, thinking of all of the people they’ll have to leave behind.

They have stopped dancing and Killian tilts his head to the side. “We can talk later tonight. This isn’t a place for this conversation. It’s my brother’s wedding. We should be having a little bit of fun, aye?”

Emma glances around her, at the other couples seemingly unaware of the tension between she and Killian, and nods. “Yeah. Okay.”

///

**month nineteen. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

They walk home in silence, though Killian holds her heels, and by the time they get home, Emma feels more exhaustion than anything, but she folds her arms to her chest and releases a pent up sigh.

“Okay. So you guys want to tour the United States. We’re talking a tour bus going from Maine to California with two dozen stops in between.” She presses her hands to her temples and starts pacing.

Her husband nods. “If that’s possible. I know it’s a lot to think about tonight-”

She shakes her head, dropping her hands to her thighs. “No. I think you’re right. It’s probably _expected_ of you guys to go on a big tour like that. And it’s my fault because I’m keeping you booked around here.”

“Emma, it’s not your fault. I’m not blaming you for anything. You know I love getting to have weekends at home with you.”

She watches him as he crosses the room toward her. He sets her shoes down on the table and stares at them for a moment before looking to her again.

“But I think we’ve got to think about it because how often does a band blow up like this? How often do we have the phone ringing off the hook because people want us to sign their labels or go on television?”

His smile is boyish and excited, making her heart light, and she can’t help but smile in return.

Emma walks into the kitchen, leaving him behind in the entryway. She grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and has a sip from it before she leaves, going to the stairway leading upstairs.

She turns to him in the entryway, finding that as she stares at her husband she doesn’t feel tense any longer about their talk, she mostly just _misses_ him.

Emma takes a few generous steps forward to meet him and takes his hand. “I’ll work on it tomorrow, but for now… I feel like we didn’t get to see each other today.”

Killian smiles a little, tilting his head to the side. “Sorry about that. It’s my fault for bringing it up.”

Emma shakes her head. “It’s okay. I just… I wish we could’ve danced more.”

His lips curl a little more and he holds his arm outward, gesturing to their entryway. “Milady, may I have this dance?”

She can’t help but laugh softly as she nods. “You may.”

They begin to dance in the front entryway to their house and Killian absolutely beams at her. “On our second anniversary, we should do it.”

“Do what?” Emma asks, arching her eyebrow.

He chuckles. “Our second wedding.”

Her heart flutters and she grins. “Okay. That sounds good to me.”

“Yeah?” he asks, continuing to smile wider than she’s ever seen him smile before.

Emma hums. “Yeah.”

Killian kisses her and she wraps her arms around his neck, easily falling into the feeling. There’s nothing timid about them when she takes her hand to his, then gives him a tug toward the stairs.

He raises an eyebrow and then all but chases her up the stairs to their bedroom.

///

**month twenty. hotel beach, southern california.**

Killian watches Emma from his spot in the warm sand. He digs his toes into it and laughs when Emma jumps at the way the waves splash up against her sundress.

She laughs and pushes her big floppy hat down firmer on her head before she comes rushing back to him. She drops down onto the towel. She’s wearing sunglasses and her hair is in a braid over her shoulder. Her skin is sun kissed, she is happy, and she is _beautiful_.

“It’s just a little bit cold,” she admits breathlessly.

Killian chuckles. “Well, it’s just barely spring, Swan.”

Emma shakes her head, pressing her chin on her knees when she draws them up against her chest. She wraps an arm around her legs and then stares out at the ocean as the waves roll in.

“This is fun,” she says. “I like beach days.”

Killian can’t help but grin when she turns back to him. She scrunches up her nose at him when he leans in for a kiss.

It’s then that he hears something, an annoying clicking, and he pulls away, furrowing his brow. He looks away from his wife and sees what it is- it’s a paparazzi.

In all of his life he’d never dreamed he’d make it nearly big enough to adorn the front page of gossip magazines. He curses under his breath and shakes his head.

“What?” Emma asks, turning to look at the man with the camera. She groans. “What the hell?”

She makes to stand up, but Killian stops her, instead getting up himself. He takes a few purposeful steps toward the man and shakes his head, cupping his hands over his mouth, “Oi! Bugger off! Stay away from my wife, mate!”

The man ducks away quickly, heading back the way he’d come, and Killian watches him, his fist clenched by his side.

It doesn’t take long for Emma to stand beside him. She presses her hand against his arm and he turns to her.

“Hey. It’s okay. I don’t care if they use my picture.”

Killian snarls a little. He gives his head a swift shake. “He’s going to sell it and make money off of it and I refuse to see your name slandered in any shape or form.”

Emma sighs. She lifts her fingers to his hair and shakes her head. “You’re too worried about me. I think I can handle my own.”

He searches her face. “And what do you expect me to do, then? Just let it happen?”

She shrugs, her smile gentle. “I’m okay. I have you and we know how our story is written.”

“And what about when we have children?” He asks, his voice cracking just a little at the idea. “Can I protect you then?”

Emma’s mouth falls open. She looks away from him, in the direction of the man with the camera, and back again.

“You may be strong and you may be able to handle yourself,” Killian says, lowering his voice, “but I just want to protect my family from bloody gossip columns and false impressions. You don’t deserve that. Our future children don’t deserve that.”

She swallows and nods. She has tears in her eyes as she smiles just a little. “You’re right. No one does.”

///

**month twenty. venue, southern california.**

He smiles as he sings and he keeps his eyes on her for most of the show.

He sings passionately, enjoying the atmosphere he’s playing in. The crowd is large, one of the largest he’s ever played in front of, but the band is alive and more excited than they’ve been in a while. Probably, as Will had pointed out beforehand, because they’re on the west coast.

Emma sways to the beat of the music and he likes to think he can hear her voice singing along with him, but it’s probably because he’s heard her singing to the album so much when they’re at home.

She’s happy tonight, her hair done up high above her head while she’s dressed comfortably with a drink in her hand. She has him on his toes, trying to impress her with every bar and chord.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are thrilled to be here tonight.” Killian says into the microphone. “You have been incredible.” He plays a few notes as the audience screams and whistles, demanding another song, and he chuckles, meeting Emma’s eyes in the front row. “This last song is for you, darling.”

He winks at her as he starts to strum into it, then takes a step back to meet Robin’s grin. Robin bobs his head as they play together, and then he steps forward so his lips can meet the microphone.

And it’s exactly the way magic would probably feel, he thinks, because he’s staring at his wife and he’s surrounded by his band, and he’s in a room of hundreds of people that are here to hear this very song.

The room echoes his words back to him and he feels his heart racing wildly beneath his ribcage.

_This_ is a feeling he’ll probably never, ever get used to.

///

**month twenty. hotel, southern california.**

“So, great news,” Emma says as they gather with the guys in their hotel room immediately after the show. “We just got confirmation for the venue in Ohio.”

She pulls back an excited grin as she looks up from her phone and meets all of their eyes as they seem to consider what it means.

“Does this mean…” Robin trails off, hesitant.

Emma nods excitedly. “Yeah. We’re going on tour.”

She starts laughing and the guys all start yelling, high-fiving each other and wrapping each other up in hugs. Killian goes for her, of course, and kisses her as if the band isn’t all gathered and drowning in celebratory feeling.

He bumps her nose afterward, his smile big. “Thank you.”

Emma smiles. “You’re welcome.”

When he pulls away, he stays by her side, his arm wrapped around her as she starts to read off the list of shows to the guys.

“So that means we’re going to get on the road and stay on it for about three months. So… I’d get everything in order at home, because we’re actually doing this for real. We’re going across country and we’re stopping a lot, but, you’re not going to see Maine for a while.”

The guys nod. “Well, I don’t have anybody.” Will says.

Emma hums skeptically. “That’s not what Belle told me.”

Robin, Whale, and Jefferson all gang up on Will, clapping him on the back and pretending to strangle him.

“Good God, Scarlet, if you hurt her I will take you to your grave myself.” Robin says, shaking his head.

Will holds up his hands. “Listen. It isn’t very serious. We just barely went on two dates. That’s way different than what the good doctor’s got going with Ruby.”

Whale holds open his mouth and then shakes his head. “Okay. Fair.”

“Yeah, when are you going to make that official, by the way?” Jefferson asks. “Because if you’re not, I can think of an interested party.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “Okay. Let’s not argue over one of my best friends while I’m in the room. I just wanted to tell you guys the good news. We’re leaving very soon. I’ll email you guys the details in the morning. Get some sleep and enjoy California for one more day before we head back, okay?”

Robin smiles at her. “Thank you, Emma.”

“Hey, to celebrate, we should all go to Disneyland tomorrow,” Jefferson suggests.

Killian chuckles. “Well, we _are_ here.”

Emma just shakes her head and looks up at her husband. “You and I are going to bed and if you wake me up early enough I’ll consider it.”

He laughs. “What? You don’t want to visit the Happiest Place on Earth?”

“I’m tired!” She defends herself. “Being your manager is a lot of work, you know. I have to constantly be on high alert.”

“And you do a magnificent job of it,” Killian says, dropping a kiss to her forehead.

“That you do!” Robin agrees animatedly. “I don’t think we’ve ever been this organized ever before.”

“Yeah,” Will agrees.

“Definitely.” Whale says.

Emma chuckles. “Well. Thanks, you guys. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time.”

“We can’t tell, if that’s any consolation,” Jefferson tells her. “You do a great job.”

Emma’s cheeks are hot and she shakes her head, averting her gaze. “Go to bed! We’re going to Disneyland in the morning!”

The guys all cheer, Killian included, and in no time at all, it’s just she and Killian in their hotel room.

Killian goes to brush his teeth while Emma just strips out of her clothes and finds something to wear, one of Killian’s big tee shirts, before she crawls into the big king bed.

She grabs her laptop from the side table and opens up her planning documents for the wedding, something Mary Margaret had suggested, and sighs as she stares at the sheer volume of it all.

Her husband peels back the covers of the bed beside her after he washes his face and kicks out of his boots and jeans, and then he sets the alarm. “What are you up to?”

“Wedding stuff,” she tells him. She opens up her email and finds about a hundred messages waiting for her. It makes her sigh again.

“Ah.” Killian settles his head down on his pillow and wiggles his leg until it bumps hers. “You know, we’re on vacation.”

Emma conceals a smile, looking down at him. “I’m never on vacation. I’m always working.”

He holds her gaze as his fingers close the lid of her laptop. She tilts her head at him and gives him a warning glare.

“We’re on vacation tonight and tomorrow,” he says. He takes her computer and puts it back where it had been before. “And then you can work again.”

She drops her shoulders and shimmies down into bed beside him, heaving a sigh as she turns to him. “Okay. Fine. _Vacation_.”

“And we’re going to Disneyland in the morning,” he tells her. “And you’re going to get mouse ears and we’re riding every ride we set eyes on and you’re going to eat obscenely unhealthy foods.”

Emma hums, sliding closer to him. She puts her hand on his chest as her ear rests over his heart. “That sounds like a vacation to me.”

He chuckles. “Good.”


	2. Chapter 2

two.

**month twenty. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

“Okay, so we’re leaving in the morning, and you still haven’t finished this Honey-Do list yet.” Emma says, thrusting the piece of paper down into his hand as he sits in his music room with the piano before him.

Killian huffs a sigh, turning to look at her. “Oh, so _that’s_ what that list was about.”

Emma smacks the back of his head and he chuckles. “Killian, we’re leaving and I’m stressed out about literally everything. Just help me make sure the house is okay to leave.”

Her husband reaches up to take her hand and he squeezes it. “Emma, hey, I don’t want you to be stressed. Come on. Show me this list. What do you need me to do?”

Emma sighs. She points to the paper. “Fix the kitchen sink and fix that hinge on the closet door upstairs. I’m going to clean the house and then I’m going to pack. Oh, and then I have to pick something up from Mary Margaret.” Her phone vibrates in her pocket and she shakes her head swiftly. “And I promised Ruby, Tink, Belle, and Elsa a lunch date. Why am I so busy on the day before we have to leave?”

Killian takes her hand. “Hey. Don’t stress about any of it. We’re going on tour, not moving to another country.”

She gives him a look. “Do you know how much I have on my plate right now?” she asks. “I have this tour I have to manage and I have to make sure every detail goes off without a hitch, or else we’re going to wake up in a few cities and find out we don’t have the venue anymore and we’ll end up bumming outside of a hotel or something. And I have to make sure the merch is stocked and I have to start working on the website because we honestly should have done that _months_ ago-“

“Emma,” Killian says gently, his fingers trailing up her arm.

“And we’re having our wedding in a few months so I have to plan for that and Mary Margaret keeps sending me things she thinks are useful but they’re not, and I have to pretend they are-“

“Emma,” Killian says again, and Emma drops her shoulders and her head to the side.

“What?” she asks wearily.

Killian smiles soothingly at her. “You are strong and capable of doing so much, but I don’t think you should feel this burdened. You don’t have to have control all of the time, love.”

Emma bites on her lower lip and shakes her head. “Killian, I’m responsible for so much. I can’t just let go of my responsibilities.”

“I’m not asking you to do that,” he says, “I’m asking you to just take a deep breath for a minute.”

She stares at him and he pivots on his chair, opening his arms for her. She sits easily in his lap, his arms going around her. He presses a kiss to her temple before she wraps her arms around his neck.

Killian starts to press his fingers against the keys delicately.

He plays for her a soothing song and she listens to his voice, low and gravelly, practically whispered into her ear, as he sings a melody of sorrow and grief.

After he finishes singing, he keeps playing. The music wraps around her and she’s tempted to fall asleep in her husband’s arms as he plays music for her.

“Why don’t you play piano more often?” she asks quietly.

Killian sighs heavily. “I don’t know. I’m not very good at it.”

Emma reaches up to lightly smack the backside of his head. “No, you’re great at it.”

He chuckles, the vibration running through her, and she grins because of it. Meeting his eyes again, she sighs. “There is _so_ much to do.”

Killian hums. “Aye, love, but we’re about to embark on quite the adventure. I’m thrilled that you’re coming with me.”

Emma takes her fingers through his hair and presses her lips to the crinkles at the corner of his eye. “I’m excited to be doing this too.”

“Are we going to share a bunk?” he asks, lifting his eyebrows and wiggling them.

Emma rolls her eyes. “No. There’s not any space.” She pauses. “But we’re can sleep across from each other.”

Killian hums thoughtfully. “Aye.”

After another moment, Emma turns to the paper sitting on the piano and holds it up to Killian. “I need you to help me if we’re going to leave tomorrow for the first show.”

“I’ll help,” he promises, awarding her with a kiss. “And perhaps, I’ll even make supper.”

///

**month twenty. diner, storybrooke, maine.**

Ruby, Tink, Belle, and Elsa sit patiently waiting for Emma at a corner booth, laughing and talking away. Ruby and Tink sit on one side while Belle and Elsa share the other.

Emma takes a deep breath as she approaches the girls and sighs, “Sorry about that. I have a huge house and only two hands. And my husband might be handy, but he’s sometimes quite distracted.”

Ruby arches an eyebrow. “Hands-y more like. He has a hard time keeping those mitts to himself, doesn’t he?”

Emma slides in beside Elsa, who smiles at her kindly. “Don’t worry, Emma. Liam and I will take good care of your house. You should just rest up today and pack.”

Emma tilts her head toward her shoulder. “I’d do that, but if I go on the road and forget something like cleaning my tub I’ll think about it nonstop until I can come back and fix it.”

Elsa shakes her head, laughing. “Emma. You’re married to a rock star whose life is constantly on the move. You can’t control _everything_.”  

“Yes, but Little Miss Manager has always had her ducks in a row.” Ruby says, twirling her straw in her drink. “Always has to know what lies ahead.”

“That’s not true. I got married to a stranger.” Emma states, shaking her head. “I don’t have control issues.”

Tink hums. “Okay. So is there a reason you’re suddenly so worried about every little detail?”

Emma gives her friends a look. “Seriously? I’m about to leave you guys for three months while the band goes on tour and all you want to do is play Doctor Phil with me?”

“Fine,” Tink straightens out. “But maybe what we’re saying is that you’re still worried that you’re not good enough. You are. You have to know you don’t have to do so much in order for anyone to love you.”

Emma drops her shoulders. “I don’t think that. I just… I’m dedicated and I want the band to do it’s best.”

“Yeah, but it’s not just the band. You’re worried about your wedding, right?” Belle asks.

She looks at her friends and shakes her head. “I’m not overstressed, you guys. I’m… fine.”

Elsa gives her a look. “Emma, you’re tense. And pale. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear the same shirt two days in a row before.”

Emma glances down at her shirt and winces at it.

Ruby nods in agreement while Tink gives her a sad look.

“I’m… okay. Maybe I’m trying to bite off more than I can chew. But I love this job and I love the band and that’s why I’m so worried about every little detail. I just want them to do well. I just want them to touch people like they touched me.”

There’s silence and Elsa sighs, wrapping her arm around Emma’s middle. She leans her head into her shoulder and Emma presses her head against her sister-in-law’s.

“Emma, just forget about all of that for a few minutes, okay? We’re only going to see you for a few minutes today before you’re going to leave us for three whole months.”

Emma smiles a little. “Okay.”

Sitting up again, Emma grabs the attention of the waitress and asks for her usual, then turns to her friends.

“So how is everything, Elsa?” Emma asks. “With your new _husband_?”

The girls all giggle and Elsa flushes, shaking her head. “Things are… great. Liam is wonderful.” She pauses, then falters, frowning slightly. “This morning he got a phone call that made him leave the room before I could even ask what was wrong, though, and I haven’t heard from him since.”

Emma frowns. “What? That’s weird.”

“I know,” Elsa sighs. “I’m giving him some space, but if I don’t hear from him soon, I’ll have to see if I can find him.”

///

**month twenty. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Killian crosses off the third item on Emma’s Honey-Do list and sighs, taking his fingers through his fringe.

“Clean out the fridge,” he reads aloud. He cranes his head toward the appliance in question, but he’s interrupted when there’s a knock at the door.

Killian heads to the front door and opens it, immediately furrowing his brow at the sight of his older brother with a concerned scowl on his face.

“Liam, what is it?”

Liam doesn’t reply. Killian watches him as he enters the house as if he owns it and then closes the door behind him.

“What’s wrong, brother?” Killian asks.

Liam clasps his hands together behind his back and pivots on his heels to turn back toward Killian.

They stare at one another for a few moments and then Liam swallows before saying, “Killian, I received a phone call this morning from someone I hadn’t expected to hear from ever again.”

Killian frowns. He starts to feel just a little sick, his heart racing wilder as the seconds drag on. “Who?”

Liam hesitates. He shakes his head. “Our father.”

“What the hell?” Killian asks, his eyes widening. “I thought… Liam, you told me he was gone.”

Liam nods. “Aye. I know what I said. I know.” He pauses, shaking his head. “Killian, he’s come to Storybrooke and he’d like to see us.”

Killian’s mouth falls open and he slowly shakes his head. “How did he find us? After all these years, not caring about us, he’s returned?”

Liam has a sad look in his eyes. He takes a deep breath. “I believe it’s because of the success you’ve found with the band. If it weren’t for that, or the show, maybe he wouldn’t care.”

The sour taste in his mouth thickens and Killian starts to pace, putting his hands through his hair and then pressing them against his face. “Bloody hell. This isn’t what I’d thought today would come to.”

///

**month twenty. david and mary margaret’s apartment, storybrooke, maine.**

“Oh, Emma, I’m so glad you’re here! You can play with Leo while I change the baby.”

Mary Margaret’s first words to her are said as the mother of two immediately takes off for the other room, leaving Emma standing at the open front door with Leo sitting in the living room with his Legos.

She sighs as she enters the apartment and closes the door behind her. As she approaches Leo, she smiles.

“Hey, buddy,” she says in greeting.

Leo continues to build whatever it is he’s building- the World’s Tallest Tower probably- and he sticks his tongue between his teeth. “Hi Emma.”

She drops down to the floor and tilts her head as she studies the boy and his blocks. He stops what he’s doing and smiles at her.

“You’re leaving tomorrow, right?” he asks.

Emma sighs. “Yeah. Are you going to miss me?”

Leo nods sadly. “Yeah.”

He drops his shoulders and steps away from his tower, instead going to sit in her lap. He’s getting so big and he doesn’t fit as well as he used to, but he tries, putting his hands over her cheeks.

“Mama says you’re going to go away for three months!” Leo says, his eyes wide. He takes his hands from her cheeks and shows her three fingers. “That’s a really long time. But when you’re sad because you have to wait for things that’s when they’re things you really like, right? That’s what Mama said.”

Emma smiles. “Yeah. That’s right.”

Leo gives her a tiny grin and plays with one of the buttons on her coat. “Do you think you can get me presents?”

She rolls her eyes and pinches his sides until he can’t stop giggling. She presses kisses to his cheeks and he cries out, “Emma!” between fits of giggles.

“You only want presents when we leave. Why do you think we’ll give you presents? Huh?”

Leo just giggles.

It’s then that Mary Margaret returns with a towel over her shoulder. She sighs. “Okay. Leo, you need to clean this up and then put them in your room, okay? Daddy’s coming home soon and we’re going to have dinner.”

Leo scrambles to get to work and Emma smiles softly as she watches him go. Mary Margaret doesn’t sit down. She goes into the kitchen and Emma can hear her working as she pulls herself to her feet.

“Mary Margaret, you need to slow down. You look so tired.”

Her friend laughs. “Emma, when you have children, you’ll understand. You never get a single minute to yourself unless you carve that minute out specifically. But you know I’d never trade any of this for anything.”

Emma gives her a look. “Still. You know I would love to babysit sometimes.”

Mary Margaret shakes her head. “Emma, you’re busy. I know you are.”

She settles a pan onto the stove and goes rummaging through her refrigerator for ingredients. She places them down onto the counter and then sighs, turning to Emma. She sets her hands on the ridge of the counter.

“And you’re going on tour in the morning, so it’s not like you’ll be here these next few months anyway.” She pauses. “But I want to hear about everything. Give me updates.”

Emma smiles softly. “Of course.”

Mary Margaret gets back to work, but keeps her position conversational. “So tell me the schedule. You’re going to New York tomorrow and there’ll be a show.”

“Yes,” Emma says, going over the schedule in her mind. “Then we’re stopping in DC.”

Mary Margaret smiles a little. “That’s exciting. I’ve always wanted to visit. You’ll have to send me pictures.”

Emma shrugs. “I guess we’ll see what we have time to do.”

“So you’re going down that way and you’ll stop in Florida for the weekend. I remember because Killian wants to go to Disney World.”

Emma laughs. “Yeah. He does.”

Mary Margaret sighs, smiling sweetly at her. “Emma, you’re going to have so much fun. And I want to commend you for all of your hard work. It must have been so tough organizing all of this.”

Emma nods. “Yeah. And it cost pretty much everything we have in savings, so it better be worth it.” She starts going through all of the things she has to do in her mind and bites down on her lip. “Speaking of which, I really need to get back home. I’ve got a hundred and one things to do before we go.”

Her friend nods in agreement. “I’ll grab that bowl of yours.”

She wipes her hands on her dish towel and then goes to open up her cabinets.

Emma’s phone starts to buzz and ring and she grabs it quickly, bringing it up to her ear. “Hey, Killian.”

“Hey.” He sounds a little distressed. He pauses. “Sweetheart, can you come home? Something’s come up.”

Her heart starts to race and she furrows her brows. “Of course. Yeah. I’m on my way. Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

“No, no, I’m… fine. I just need you here.”  

///

**month twenty. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma opens the door and finds Killian and Liam in the kitchen with glasses of amber colored liquid on the table. They both seem miserable.

“Hey,” she says.

They both look up at her, but Killian rises to his feet and crosses the room to meet her in the entry way.

“What’s going on?” she asks.

Killian takes a breath and shakes his head. “Liam… we found out that our father has come to town.”

Emma opens her mouth. “Oh. I thought your father was gone.”

He nods, raising his eyebrows. “Aye, love, as did we. He abandoned us when we were young, but apparently, he’s back.”

Glancing over, she sees Liam stand, his expression worried. “He’s come to town because he saw the show and he’s seen how successful the band is getting.”

She drops her shoulders, shaking her head. “Have you seen him in person yet?”

Killian and Liam exchange glances. Liam shakes his head. “No, but I’ve spoken with him on the phone.”

“Oh,” Emma says, realization hitting her. “Okay.”

“I told him to stay away from us, but he’s determined to make things right somehow.” Liam scowls.

Emma looks to her husband, finding fear in his eyes, and she reaches for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’ll be okay. I’m sure he’ll keep his distance if he’s anything like either of you.”

After a few moments, she takes a deep breath. “Why don’t you go to the diner and grab us dinner? Liam, if you want, you and Elsa can come over.”

Liam smiles faintly. “Thank you, Emma. I think we’d like that.”

Killian appears hesitant, but Emma presses her hand against his heart and kisses him softly. “I’ll get some cupcakes in the oven.”

His smile is equally as gentle as hers, though his eyes are sad. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Emma presses her hand against the back of his neck and presses their foreheads together. “Grilled cheese, please.”

He chuckles. “You’ve been having a lot of that lately.”

Their eyes meet and she shrugs. “It’s good. And I’m hungry so go get me some.”

Killian laughs again, his fingers tickling at her arm. “Okay. I’ll return with nourishment.”

///

Unfortunately for Killian, the moment he leaves the house to go to the diner for some food, Liam at his side, they walk straight into a man with graying curls, dimpled cheeks, and piercing blue eyes.

He stares at the both of them, his jaw falling open, and he smiles, breathing out, “Liam. Killian. It’s… it’s been such a long time.”

Killian’s heart races wildly in his chest and he curls his hands into fists at his sides, stepping forward. “You bastard!”

“Killian, don’t,” Liam says, yanking him back toward him.

Killian grits his teeth. “What the hell do you think you’re doing coming here? How did you find us?”

The eldest Jones gets a dejected look on his face and he shakes his head sorrowfully. “I saw you, Killian, on the show.” He pauses, glancing over at the house they’re standing in front of. “This is a beautiful home. You have a beautiful wife.”

He feels sick, thinking about the fact that his father, the man who had left he and Liam all alone, has suddenly found them again. And he knows so much, because of the reality of Killian’s public popularity. It’s insane to him, because he hadn’t ever thought he’d see him again.

“Stay away from us,” Killian says firmly, his voice a growl. “Stay the hell away from her especially.”

“Killian,” Liam says gently, but roughly. He tugs on his arm and sets him straight. Liam shakes his head at their father. “I told you we didn’t want to see you, Brennan. Why are you here?”

Brennan Jones stares at them and takes a deep breath. “I’m here because I want to make amends. I want… I know I’ve missed everything. I know you both think me an awful man, and I know I am, but… I’d hoped that at least you would let me try to fix what’s been broken. I’m sorry for what happened.”

“You didn’t have to leave,” Liam says. He folds his arms to his chest.

Brennan swallows, nodding. “I know.”

“You left me to take care of Killian on my own. Do you know how difficult it was for us? I was barely thirteen when you walked out. Killian was five. He didn’t know left from right. But he knew you didn’t want him.”

The feelings come back in waves and Killian averts his eyes, feeling tears burning in them.

“I don’t know what to say,” Brennan says softly.

Killian brings his gaze up and shakes his head. “Then don’t say anything.” He steps forward, jutting his chin outward as he tries to stay strong. “I want you to get the hell off of my property. You’re not welcome here.”

His father nods. “Very well.”

///

Killian and Liam come back with dinner and Elsa, and when Emma looks at the Jones brothers, she sees pain masked with smiles.

She knows better than to question them over dinner, especially when Killian greets her with a kiss and a murmured, “I love you so much.”

They have dinner together at the dining table and chat about the upcoming tour, and about Elsa and Liam’s house-sitting duties.

“You guys can sleep wherever you want,” Emma says. “And you already know how to take care of Buddy, so I don’t think we have to talk about that.”

Liam chuckles when Buddy hops up into his lap and licks his chin. “Good gracious, Buddy. I know, you’re excited to have company, but give a man some space.”

Emma can’t help but laugh along with he and Elsa. Elsa leans over to scratch Buddy under his chin, pressing her cheek against Liam’s shoulder. “You’re such a good puppy, Buddy. You won’t be any trouble while your mom and dad are gone, will you?”

Buddy squints at Elsa contentedly and Emma’s heart squeezes. She already misses him, and most everything about being home, but when she looks at Killian, she feels that tug in her heart, the one that dares her to be adventurous, to let go of everything that she’s stressed about and just _go_.

He smiles at her and takes her hand under the table. “Emma and I should probably finish packing. We’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”

Liam hums. “Aye. I was just thinking that. We’ll be here when you leave to bid you farewell.”

Elsa smiles and they walk to the front door together, saying their good night’s and waving.

Emma presses her hand into Killian’s and turns to him. “So what happened?”

Killian heaves a sigh, shaking his head. “My father came to the house. Liam and I ran into him as we were leaving here earlier.”

Her heart sinks as her eyes widen and she drops her shoulders. “Killian-“

“It’s alright,” Killian manages a smile. “He’s gone now. I don’t think either of us were prepared to see him is all.”

She stares at her husband and takes a steadying breath. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He shakes his head. “Not really.”

Emma nods. “Okay. I get that.” She licks her lips and looks at the stairs. “We should pack and get to bed.”

She stares at Killian for a few moments, seeing how quiet he is, and wraps her arm around his middle, resting her chin on his shoulder. “I love you.”

He leans in and kisses her forehead. “I am unequivocally in love with you, Emma. Thank you for everything you have ever done for me.”

Emma gives him a wary look. “Are you breaking up with me?”

Killian takes his arms and wraps them around her, leaning down to hoist her up into his arms. “I would never.” He smiles at her, finally, and there’s light in his eyes. “I’m just… reflective. We’re about to go on tour and that would never have happened had you not organized it.”

Emma blushes a little. “Most of it’s because of the show. It’s not me.”

“I beg to differ,” he says simply. He carries her to the stairs and she clamors to hold on, laughing with him. “You know, if we hadn’t gone on the show I don’t think I would have continued on with the band. They make me happy and music does too, but without you in my life I don’t think it would be the same.”

She tilts her head at him. “I beg to differ.”

Killian rolls his eyes as he sets her down on their bed. He kisses her sweetly and then leans his forehead into hers.

“Promise me you won’t stress about the small details, Emma. There’s so much you poured into this but I want you to enjoy it for what it is with us. I don’t want to see you panicked over odds and ends like you were this morning.”

Their eyes meet and she takes a soft breath as she focuses on how gentle his affection is for her. In the midst of the storm, he’s always, always been her anchor.

“Okay. I’ll do my best.”


	3. Chapter 3

three.

**month twenty. venue, NYC.**

From her spot on the couch in the tour bus, Emma has her computer in her lap and her phone pressed against her ear. She’s listening to the manager of a hotel in Pasadena tell her that they can’t have the rooms they booked because they’re hosting a wedding that weekend for some very _important_ VIP’s, and she actually has to bite her tongue to keep from cursing him out.

Killian and the guys are all rushing in and out of the bus, getting ready for the show, and she looks up when Killian enters the bus again. Instead of rushing to grab something, he settles down on the couch beside her.

She adjusts so she can give him some space, curling her legs out from under her and draping them against the couch instead. She brushes back her hair and keeps tempered as she thanks the manager.

After she hangs up, she sets her phone down on the arm of the couch and turns her attention to her laptop.

“We just lost the hotel in Pasadena,” she says, completely focused on the screen before her. “But it’s not a big deal, I guess. As long as we start making money at the merch tables.”

Killian’s fingers wrap around her wrist and she jerks her head up to look at him. “Killian, I’m in the middle of-“

He gives her a pointed look, tilting his head downward.

Sighing, Emma shakes her head. “I have so much to do. I’ll try to come out for a song, but I need to get back to arranging a deal with the podcast that wants to do a live session.”

Her husband’s expression falls again. “Emma. It’s the first show. I want you there.”

She presses her lips together and battles inwardly for but a moment before she closes the lid of her laptop.

“Okay.”

///

Everything goes off without a hitch.

The band is _incredible_ , and Emma’s glad that she went to the show, because seeing the guys in their element is always something that makes her feel as if she’s living.

Killian smiles at her a little over the course of the show, but it’s different than their typical exchange, because he’s clearly just a little frustrated with her for being so busy.

But she also knows that Killian is still bearing the weight of having just seen his father is still very real, but he’s not ready to talk about it, so she’s not going to push. Just as he hadn’t when they were struggling at the beginning of their marriage, when they were freshly married strangers under a time constraint.

She meets the guys in the back green room at this venue. It’s a step above all of those shows at bars and she feels as if they’re _special_ now, because they have the band name taped to the door and the management actually provided a table of snacks.

The table had sold out within the first twenty minutes after the show ended, and she’s carrying the banner they’d had made up to hang behind their merchandise as she heads into the green room.

The guys are all gathered with big smiles on their faces and Will says something that makes them erupt into laughter. She meets Killian’s eyes from across the room and his gaze softens.

“Hey, Swan!”

Emma smiles, breathlessly setting the banner down on the couch with Killian’s guitar case. She steps up to the group and waves her hand.

“So, we sold out.”

Killian’s eyes go wide. “The table?”

Emma nods. “Yep. The table. The show. Everything. Sold out completely.”

Robin chuckles, grinning. “I thought it looked rather full.”

“Bloody hell,” Will says. “How’d we manage that?”

She shakes her head. “I guess it’s because we’re back home where you started.”

Emma smiles at Killian and he winks at her.  

“Well, we owe you thanks for tonight, Emma.” Killian says.

She folds her arms against her chest and tilts her head at him. “Well, I don’t think I deserve all of the credit. You guys are the ones performing and killing it every night.”

Jefferson tosses his arm around Emma’s shoulders and she meets his eyes, arching an eyebrow. “Come on, Swan. We’re taking you out.”

She opens her mouth. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I have a lot to do tonight and you guys have a show tomorrow we have to leave for soon.”

Whale gives her a look. “Nonsense. We’re going out. Jones?”

Her husband chuckles lowly. “Come on, Swan. It’s the first night.”

Emma groans. She takes a deep breath and releases it. “Okay. Fine. We can go out but you have to promise me that you’ll all be on your best behavior and we’ll be back on the bus in two hours.”

///

**month twenty. bar, NYC.**

“We aren’t getting back in two hours, are we?” Emma asks Killian as they walk into one of the band’s old hangouts.

He laughs heartily, wrapping his arm around her waist. He kisses her temple. “Come on, Emma. Live a little. We’re only young once.”

She gives him a look. “We have a mortgage and we’ve been married for two years. I’m pretty sure we’re adults now.”

He laughs again and shakes his head. “Play along with me. I could use some distractions.”

Emma sighs and he knows she’s not going to just forget all of the things she’s got in her mind to do- she’s Emma Swan and she’s bloody damn well determined to finish off what she’s started.

“Hey,” he says quietly, pulling her to the side as the guys go on ahead. “If you’d rather go back to the bus, I get it. I know you’ve got a schedule and a list a mile long.” He searches her eyes. “I don’t want to be selfish and force you to do anything.”

For a moment, he thinks she might leave, because she glances at the door, but then she surprises him. She smiles and takes his hand, pulling him with her toward the band.

///

**month twenty. tour bus, washington d.c.**

When he wakes up the morning of their day in D.C., Emma is already up. She’s sitting at her spot on the couch, talking on the phone as she types. It’s barely seven in the morning and it seems as if she’s been awake for hours.

Killian scratches the back of his head as he shuffles past her to the coffee machine and he makes himself a cup. When he turns to Emma again, she’s off of the phone. He takes the opportunity to grab her mug and fills it, then sets it down on the table beside the couch.

“Good morning,” he says, leaning down to kiss the crown of her head.

She hums. “Hey.”

Killian’s hands heat up as he has a seat on the couch beside Emma’s feet and she shifts so she’s taking up less of it, still laser focused on her work.

He has a sip of his coffee and settles it in his lap, staring at his wife. “Robin wants to see the Smithsonian and Jeff wants to see the Spy Museum. I’m thinking we’ll do a little touring this morning before the show.”

Emma smiles at that, finally looking up. “Yeah? Sounds like fun.”

Killian narrows his eyes at her a little. “Are you busy?”

She exhales heavily. “Um. Yeah. Kind of. There’s just a lot going on. We got five new labels interested in the band. I sent you the details.”

Killian hums. He licks his lips and glances down at his coffee. “Emma, how long have you been awake?”

Emma doesn’t answer him for a few moments. He has to stare at her for her to answer, and she does it as she’s hiding her face in her mug. “Four hours?”

“Bloody hell. Get to bed.” He reaches over and closes the laptop. “Come on. Sleep is important. I won’t have you sacrificing it for emails and business deals.”

She gives him a look. “Killian, I’m fine. I’m not the one performing tonight.”

Killian stands up, sets his coffee down on the table, and takes her hands, pulling her to her feet. “Is there a reason you’ve been up for four hours?”

She stares up at him, her fingers sliding up his chest, and she shakes her head. “I just have a lot on my mind. I’m managing a band and I’m planning a wedding and I have needy friends back in Maine…”

Killian takes a moment to study her as she rambles on, not exactly listening to her, but absolutely catching the direction her words are leading. She’s pale and she has bags under her eyes. She’s clearly exhausted, clearly in need of some _rest_.

He pulls her into him and she easily molds against his embrace, her arms wrapping around him. He presses his lips against the side of her head.

“Promise me you’ll get some rest. You work far too hard and you deserve it.”

She nods against him. “Okay. I’ll go back to bed.”

When they pull apart, he sees how tired she is all over again and it pulls at his heart. “Do you want me to stay?”

“No,” she insists, shaking her head. “Go have fun with the guys. I’m sure we’ll be back sometime in the future.”

He sighs. “Okay.” Emma turns back to the couch and grabs her blanket, then he watches as she heads toward her bunk.

Emma turns back to him and smiles softly. “Text me pictures and updates. I’ll let you know when I wake up.”

Killian nods. “ _Sleep_ , Swan. That’s an order.”

///

It’s frustrating to him that when he and the guys get back, Emma is sitting on the couch again, hacking away at her keyboard.

She smiles when they enter, looking up with a warmer complexion. Sleep was good for her, but he knows it probably wasn’t enough.

“Hey. How was it?”

“Fantastic,” Robin says as he heads back towards his bunk.

Whale and Will are hanging outside waiting for them and Jefferson grabs a bag of chips from the cabinet before heading back out. Killian goes to sit beside his wife and he shakes his head.

“It would have been better had you been there. I kept thinking of you the entire time.”

Emma smiles softly. “Well, I missed you too.” She looks down at her computer screen. “I’m working on the finishing touches on those videos we recorded last month. I think they’re pretty good.”

Killian hums. He honestly could care less about those videos. He wishes Emma would just live in the moment, but he knows it’s her job to care, and her job to make sure everything flows smoothly.

It’s moments like these that he regrets allowing her to become their manager.

“I hired a photographer to take pictures tonight.” She tells him. “And some fans volunteered to take the merch table, so I’m going to hang back here tonight.”

His heart sinks, because he’d thought she would at least be there for him tonight. She always has been, ever since he’d married her.

“On the bus?” He asks. “Have you even been outside? It’s a lovely day.”

Emma laughs. She glances out the window and nods. “I went out for a few minutes at lunch. I got hungry.”

“Well, at least you ate,” he mumbles. He runs his fingers through his hair as Robin comes traipsing back through.

“Okay. Killian, we’ve got to get going.” Robin says. He slings his arms through the sleeves of his jacket and grins at Emma. “And how are you doing today, Emma? Sleep well?”

“Yes,” she says. “I slept very well. Thank you. Have fun tonight. I’m sure it’ll be great.”

Robin hums. He meets Killian’s eyes and tosses his head to the side, toward the door. “I’ll be waiting.”

Killian nods at his friend and watches him go, then directs his attention to Emma again. “I should get going.”

With frustration bubbling up inside his chest, he rises to his feet, and Emma looks up at him. He knows he can’t be angry with her, because she doesn’t deserve it, but he’s still on edge because of his father and he’s not sure how to deal with those emotions yet, either.

Typically, he’d look to Emma for help, but she’s so busy that she probably wouldn’t care enough to.

“Okay. Good luck tonight.” Emma says, smiling sweetly.

“Thanks, love.” Killian leans down and meets her for a quick kiss, then heads out without looking back.

///

**month twenty. tour bus, the road to florida.**

Emma spends a solid twenty-four hours with her laptop and her phone as she sits on the couch on the bus. She only stops for bathroom breaks and eating when Killian forces food into her mouth, and then she’s back at planning and purchasing and answering emails.

Emma knows Killian’s worried about her, because he spends at least half of his free time sitting right there beside her, asking if she needs anything as she works.

Of course she feels bad about it, because she’s not being half as attentive as she usually is. But her stress levels are at an all time high as she sits there and she becomes so tired by the end of it that she ends up curled up on the couch with her phone in her hand.

She wakes up fifteen hours later to waning sunlight and a blanket wrapped around her and a pillow under her head. Her husband sits at her feet, staring at her, and she sighs, placing her hands over her face.

“Good morning,” he says lightly. “You were tired.”

Emma shimmies upright and licks her lips. “Yeah.”

She pulls her hair up above her head and sets her hands in her lap as she curls her legs into a pretzel. Killian drapes his arm across the back of the couch and glances out the window.

It’s then that she realizes they’ve stopped moving. She looks outside and sees the hotel they’re staying at for a few nights behind them.

The guys are outside in the warm Florida heat, goofing off with their phones. She sees Robin Facetiming with Regina and Will laughing with Belle, and she thinks Whale must be talking to Ruby on the phone, too, because he’s rubbing the back of his head and shaking it at the same time.

“We made it an hour ago,” Killian says. “I figured I’d let you sleep. You certainly needed it.”

Her heart falls to her belly, because he’s the only one who isn’t _happy_. She sees the joy in the guys’ faces, knows that they’re all thrilled to be on such a massive tour. But when she looks at Killian, she sees sadness.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asks.

He gives her a confused look and she slides toward him, taking her blanket with her. When she’s close enough, she searches his face and reaches for his hand.

“You just… you were really excited about the tour before your dad came to town.” Emma pauses when he averts his eyes, instead looking down at his lap. She squeezes his hand. “And I’m your wife so I’m supposed to care about you and help you if you need it.”

“I’m fine,” he insists, smiling wearily at her. He releases her hand and stands up.

Emma watches him and tilts her head, sighing. “Killian. You can’t keep hiding your feelings. Especially if we’re going to be stuck on this bus for three months.”

He stares at her then and she sees his jaw clench as his fingers curl up into fists at his sides. “What do you want me to say? I’m pissed that my father tried to come back into my life? And that you won’t slow down for five minutes and just be here with me?”

Her mouth falls open and she pushes the blanket to the side before she stands up. “Killian, I’m right here.” She pauses. “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me.”

He gives her a weary look. “How am I supposed to talk to you? You just spent a day and a half on this couch.”

She shakes her head, feeling more attacked than anything. “I’m sorry I’m tired and that I’m trying to run your band for you.”

Killian closes his eyes briefly and sighs. “Emma you know I’m thankful for everything you’ve done.”

Emma shrugs. She pushes past him to get to her stuff and he follows.

“Love, I’m not trying to fight with you.”

“Yeah? It sounds like you are.”

She grabs a duffel bag of clothes and finds her flip flops, dropping them to the floor and stepping into them.

“You weren’t at the show in DC. You missed it entirely.” Killian says as she looks at him. “And I’m rather upset about that.”

Emma gives him a look. “Well, you better get used to me missing your shows, because I’m not going to be able to be at every single one, Killian.”

He sighs as she steps up to him. He’s blocking her way out of the thin pathway and into the living area and she stares up at him, her chest heaving.

“I know,” he says. “I just… I’ve got a lot on my mind because of my father and you being so busy is stressing me out as well.”

Emma swallows. She shakes her head. “It’s going to be chaotic for a while. I have a lot to do as your manager. If you don’t want that, maybe you should hire someone else.”

She forces him to get out of her way and Killian sighs heavily. As she steps out of the bus and into the Florida heat, she sticks her sunglasses on over her eyes and exhales.

It’s nice to be out of the bus and in the open air, stretching her legs.

Killian jogs off of the bus after her and reaches her quickly, saying, “Emma.”

Emma turns to him and he comes to a stop before her.

His eyes are pleading and he shakes his head. “I don’t want to fight. I’m sorry. I just need some time to be with my thoughts and I took my frustration out on you instead.”

She takes a deep breath and nods. “Okay. I forgive you.” Emma glances over her shoulder at the hotel they’re going to be staying at. “Let’s go check in and grab something to eat. Maybe we can catch the sunset on the beach.”

Killian smiles widely. “Aye. That sounds good.”

///

**month twenty. beach, miami, florida.**

They sit on the beach as the sun goes down. Emma has her knees pressed close to her chest and Killian has his crossed while his arms extend behind him, one around her as if he’s protecting her.

It’s calming, staring at the horizon. The sun makes it’s way down, glowing orange and red, and there’s a breeze coming in off of the water, a soothing thing that brings with it the smell of salt and freedom.

“Liam called me, while you were asleep,” Killian says, drawing her attention to him.

She furrows her brow. “What did he have to say? Is everything okay?”

Killian takes a shaky breath and he turns to look out at the water again. “Our father has decided to move to Storybrooke.”

He returns his eyes to her and Emma sets her ear against her shoulder. “I’m sorry. That’s not fair.”

“No,” he agrees quickly. He curses under his breath and shifts so he’s not leaning back on his hands anymore. He picks a shell up from the sand and tosses it forward. “Almost makes me want to tour forever.”

Emma laughs and he smiles, shaking his head.

“Did he want to make things right?” she asks.

Killian sighs. “He did. But I’m not ready. I can’t forgive him for leaving us. I was five years old. Liam was… my rock. He was the only way I was able to get through it at the beginning. I wasn’t worth staying for, Emma. That’s why he left.”

Her heart sinks and she takes her arm around his middle, shifting in the sand so she’s pressed against his side. She leans her head into his and closes her eyes. Emma finds his hand and holds it tight.

“I think you’re worth staying for.”

Killian’s head presses into hers a little in a gentle nudge and she turns hers to face him completely. He has a tiny smile curved into his lips and his eyes are a little sad, but her words clearly have made him feel better.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so busy.” Emma says.

He shakes his head. “It’s fine, Emma. I understand why you’ve been busy. I just don’t want you to be so stressed that you forget to stop and rest.”

“I won’t,” she promises. “I think I’m getting caught up.”

“That’s good,” he says.

Then he’s staring at her lips and she’s leaning in.

He kisses her softly, as soft and gentle as the sound of the waves against the shore, and she smiles when it’s over, leaning against him.

“I love you.”

He grins at her softly spoken words. “I love you too.”


	4. Chapter 4

four.

**month twenty-one. venue, dallas, texas.**

She wakes up feeling dizzy. Dizzy and sick.

It sends her running. Unfortunately, the bus has an incredibly small bathroom, and she doesn’t want to make a mess of it, so she heads out to the front of the bus and out into the early morning air.

It’s sort of cool, and there’s a breeze that picks up her hair as she leans over the curb and loses everything she’d had for dinner the night before.

She holds her hair back and groans as she leans over afterward.

She hadn’t had anything weird to eat, but food poisoning is always an option, she guesses. Emma wipes her mouth on her wrist and straightens, looking around.

The sun is barely rising, which means Killian will be getting up soon, and she’s going to be caught out here if she hesitates much longer, so with her arms folded against the cool air, she hurries back up into the bus and manages to get a glass of water so she can get the taste out of her mouth.

Right on time, Killian slides out of his bunk and shuffles into the area she stands in and he winces a little at her, his hair a mess and his face scarred with lines from his pillow.

“Hey, Swan,” he says tiredly.

She manages to smile a little at him. “Good morning.”

Killian steps up to her and she has another sip of water as he sets his hand on her hip. “I had a rather interesting dream last night,” he tells her lowly, pressing his lips against her neck.

Emma starts squirming, laughing at the way his beard scratches sensitive skin. “Killian, we’re on the bus.”

He hums, then meets her eyes, obviously trying to kiss her good morning. She shakes her head. “You can’t kiss me.”

He gives her a curious look. “Why not?”

“I…” She sets her glass of water down and swallows, cringing at the lingering taste. “I just got a little sick this morning. I’m fine though.”

Killian just looks worried as he stares at her. His hands fall away from her. “Are you certain?”

Emma nods. “Yeah. Probably just what I ate last night.”

Killian hesitates. He doesn’t seem so easily swayed into the idea, but Emma forces a smile and steps away from him so he can’t fight her.

“Welcome to Texas,” she says. “The show’s in six hours.”

Killian grins. “Aye. I suppose it is.” He stares outside. “How big is the show tonight?”

Emma bites on her lip. “It’s pretty big. I think the venue holds five thousand.”

His eyes widen. “Bloody hell. Are we sold out?”

She hums in thought, going to grab her phone. “I don’t think we are yet. The local radio show wants to talk to you though. They actually called me when I was looking around for venues and they sponsored this one.”

“Oh.” Killian says. “Well that's…”

“Kind of huge,” Emma laughs. “This is the biggest of the tour. The rest of the places aren’t as big as this.”

As she stands there considering the day ahead, she takes a deep breath.

The band is massively popular and she doesn’t know how they’ve gone from nights at bars to stage events with lights and pyro, but they’re almost there. She’s so proud of them and she’s so proud to be managing them.

“Your interview is in an hour and I’m going to need you to help me wake the guys up for it. I think they wanted a song in studio.”

Emma heads toward the bunks and peels back the curtains on every bunk she can. “Good morning! Welcome to Texas! You’re going on radio in an hour. Time to get up!”

The guys groan at her in unison and Killian chuckles. “You heard her. Come on, lads. We’ve got a huge day ahead of us!”

“Who are you? My mum?” Will snips as she studies his face. He grimaces at her and she just shakes her head.

“Come on, Will. I’m paying for coffee as soon as we get off of this bus. So the faster you can do that, the faster we can get some coffee in you.”

Turning around, she meets Killian’s grin with her own and lifts her eyebrows. “Okay. Showers in the hotel tonight and breakfast on the way to the radio station. I think today’s on schedule.”

Killian’s smile spreads wider. “Aye. Thank you for that, Swan.”

“I try,” she shrugs.

///

**month twenty-one. radio station, dallas, texas.**

Emma sips at her coffee as she watches through the glass window into the studio. The guys are gathered around a microphone and Killian has his guitar around him while Will sits on a cajon.

They’re playing one of the singles they’d released a few months ago and everyone seems to be in high spirits.

She feels a little lightheaded still and she folds her arms to her chest as she holds her coffee in front of her. It’s an instantaneous sensation and she grimaces, turning to head out of the little recording room to quietly find herself a bathroom.

Thankfully, she makes it in time, and no one’s occupying it.

She kneels on the tile floor of the bathroom and holds back her hair, and she grimaces between wretches, because _this_ isn’t how she wants to be spending her day- on the floors of bathrooms regurgitating everything she puts into her stomach.

She feels lightheaded and sweaty by the time it’s over and she wipes her mouth as she leans back against the wall. She doesn’t want Killian to worry about her, but she knows he’s probably noticed that she’s not in the room watching by now, and she has no choice but to face facts with that.

Emma studies herself in the mirror as she’s washing her hands and sighs at her appearance. It’s kind of obvious that she’s not at her best. Between everything she’s stressed about and this sudden ailment, she isn’t sure how she hasn’t collapsed by now. She probably could, actually. She’s incredibly worn out.

After swishing some water and tossing her coffee, Emma heads back out into the hallway. She settles her hand over her middle as she walks toward the recording room and enters quietly, just in time to hear them being interviewed again.

“So, you’ve been a band for how long?” The host asks.

Killian grins against the microphone he’s standing at. He exchanges glances with the guys.

“Erm… we’ve been together for something like ten years I think. But we’ve been serious for around seven now. We put out three albums prior to this one on our own time. Not very many people know about that. Except for my wife. She’s a fanatic.”

The host laughs and so do the guys.

“She is!” Robin agrees. “I’ve never met someone as invested as her. She’s touring with us, actually. Maybe it’s time we drop the hint that we don’t want her around.”

Everyone bursts out laughing and Killian meets her eyes then, shaking his head. “She’s listening in right now, you know. Darling, we’re only teasing. Of course we want you following us around.”

She rolls her eyes.

“Now, tell me about that,” the host says, turned toward Killian. “You were on that show, right? You married her as perfect strangers.”

“Aye,” Killian grins. “Aren’t we proper idiots?”

The guys chuckle.

“No, no,” Killian shakes his head. “It’s great. When I married Emma on the show, I wasn’t expecting I’d fall in love with my best friend, but I did, and I’m incredibly thankful. I owe much of who I am now to that show and to Emma. She’s incredible. I’m the luckiest man alive to have been matched up with such a devastatingly amazing and fantastic woman.”

Her heart squeezes tight and she feels her cheeks heating up as she stares at him. A smile presses into her lips and he meets her eyes then, all but telling her that he loves her all over again.

“And now we’ve got an album full of that gushy love nonsense,” Will says jokingly.

Everyone laughs, including Emma, and Killian turns to Will. “I wouldn’t complain about it, mate. Emma’s in charge of the paychecks.”

“Love you, Emma!” Robin says, turning to look at her.

The guys echo the sentiment, and the host chuckles warmly when Emma waves back at them, shaking her head slowly.

“Up next, we’ll play a round of rapid fire with the guys, but in the meanwhile, Killian, could you introduce the next song?”

“Aye. Of course.” Killian starts plucking at the strings of his guitar. “This one’s a tune I wrote _before_ Emma. One about my first love: the sea.”

///

**month twenty-one. venue, dallas, texas.**

Killian’s enthusiasm about the day increases as the hours tick on and he starts to get nervous only as show time gets closer.

He sits on the couch beside Emma as she rests and finds himself watching as her chest rises and falls so easily. It’s good to see her asleep, but she’d been pretty tired all morning, and he’s a little worried about the implications of her getting sick in the morning in addition to this exhaustion she’s suddenly having.

After her fighting him those days at the beginning, he should be glad she’s slowed down, but oddly enough, he’s not.

Emma’s alarm goes off then and she flinches awake, reaching for the device and forcing it off before she puts her hand over her eyes and groans.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” he teases.

She removes her hand and scoffs, rolling her eyes before she slides upright and leans her head against the back cushion of the couch. “Hey. Sorry. I just… I’m so tired.”

Killian takes a breath and nods. “Aye.”

He searches her face and she grimaces before cursing under her breath. She slides away from the couch and hurries for the front door and he knows what she’s gone to do, because no one runs from a perfectly good sofa to go outside in their socks.

He starts to worry more about Emma again, rather than the show he’s about to perform tonight, and he slides his hand over his head.

When Emma returns a few minutes later, she avoids him and grabs a bottle of water from the countertop and has a good drink.

After she turns to him again, she bites on her lip.

“How many times is that now?” He asks, rising to his feet. “Three? Four? I think you went twice while we were out this morning.”

Emma tilts her head at him. “I’m fine, Killian. It’s just a stomach bug.”

He hums. “I don’t know. Emma, you’re suddenly sleeping quite a bit too.”  

His wife gives him a look and goes to the couch to grab her computer and get back to work.

“I don’t think you should be here if you’re miserable,” he says. He sits beside her. “And if you’re trying to do your job while you’re sick…”

Emma groans. “I’m not sick.”

“You’ve thrown up multiple times today,” Killian points out firmly. “And you’re telling me you’re not sick.”

She drops her shoulders and looks at him. Her hair is kind of a mess from her nap, all piled up on top of her head, and she has a weary expression on her face, along with bags under her eyes.

“I’m fine.”

He stares at her for a few moments, clenching his jaw, and then looks outside at the venue waiting for him. It’s a huge night for the band and he knows she’s probably just as nervous as he is about it.

“You can stay as long as you’re feeling better in the morning.” Killian tells her.

Emma sighs. “Okay.” She glances outside the window. “Are you nervous?”

“I’m more nervous about you being sick so suddenly,” he says. “But aye. I am.”

She reaches for his hand and gives it a squeeze. “You are going to be incredible, Killian. I’ll be in the front row tonight, okay?”

His heart leaps at the thought and he smiles, unable to keep himself from doing it. “Aye. Alright.”

///

The place is _packed_ out. There’s standing room only toward the back, but everyone’s on their feet anyway, and the excitement in the room is palpable.

Everyone around her is buzzing and chatting and every so often, she catches a glimpse of Killian or one of the guys peeking out from back stage. She smiles a little and texts them to try to make them feel better. They always tell her thank you and send her an emoji or two.

The merch table is well stocked tonight, with plenty of backup boxes tucked nearby, and a few fans are manning it. There are a few photographers tonight and she’s updating social media as the show time gets closer and closer.

When the radio host from earlier in the day comes on stage to announce them, she bites down on her lip, because she can see Killian standing in the wings, and he has nervousness written in his features, but a smile on his lips, and she knows with everything in her that he’ll be more than amazing.

Killian leads the band out and they’re fast, getting to their positions. They start in immediately with a song and Killian wears the most excited grin on his face she’s ever seen in her life, and she _loves_ it.

When the song is finished, he laughs, “How’s everybody doing tonight?”

The place erupts and Emma can’t help but laugh at it, wishing she could feel what he’s feeling, because surely it’s exactly how she feels. Light thrums in her veins and her heart races passionately.

“We’re The Pirates,” Killian introduces them, to a resounding scream, and he laughs again. “Bloody hell, you’re not going to let me get a word out, are you?”

She laughs along with the thousands gathered and Robin chuckles into his microphone. “They’re a rambunctious group.”

“Apparently!” Killian says, turning to interact with his friend. He turns back to the crowd. “So, we’re from New York, but we’ve moved to Maine. This weather is fantastic. I don’t think I’ve seen as much sun as I have in this one day.”

He grins as he plucks the strings of his guitar and he meets her eyes. “Alright. This is a song I wrote a little while back for my wife. She’s here tonight. Can everybody say, ‘hi Emma’?”

She laughs when they do as he asks them to and he chuckles. “Well, that’s fantastic. I’m sure you’ve got great singing voices too. Why don’t we test that out?”

And with that, he starts to teach them the chorus of her song and she can’t help but feel just the slightest bit overwhelmed at it, because the words are loud in her ears and she feels them in her chest.

At some point as the band continues to play, she starts feeling lightheaded again and she curses herself for it, but she has to walk out in the middle of a rather exciting song that has the room dancing and clapping with their hands above their heads.

She finds a bathroom just in time and hides there for the rest of the show, listening to the echoes of the band playing on.

She feels nothing short of misery as she sits there against the tile wall and she shuts her eyes as she throws her head back.

///

“That was _incredible_ ,” Robin says excitedly as they head backstage.

Killian grins. “Aye. It was.”

Whale claps him on the back. “That encore was _great_ , man.”

“I like to think I’ve still got a few surprises in me.” Killian laughs.

They stumble into the green room and he’s not surprised at all to find Emma sitting on one of the couches. She stands up and smiles widely at them. “Hey! You guys were _amazing_. Twitter is kind of blowing up right now.”

Killian’s heart is still racing, but his stomach twists, because he knows she left in lieu of the bathroom. There’s no other reason she would have left, especially since she’d been so content and excited for them prior.

“Is it?” Robin asks, taking her phone from her.

The guys crowd around and they read a series of tweets to each other. Killian isn’t interested. He tilts his head to the door from which they’d come and Emma sighs, sticking her hands into her pockets.

He leads her out into the hallway, then into an empty room, where he sighs. “Emma, I don’t think I want to wait for the morning to ask you to go. Dallas has an airport. You can be home by morning.”

Emma gives him a look. “Killian. I told you, I’m fine. I just have a little bit of a bug.”

“You’re working yourself too hard.” Killian tells her. “I would feel better if you just went home and saw a doctor and got plenty of rest there. On the road, there are distractions and shows and I know you love it, but, I worry so much about you when you’re holed up in the bus on your computer, and even more when you leave to get sick in the bathroom.”

Emma tucks her hair behind her ears and then settles her hands on her hips. “What if I saw a doctor here? To prove I’m fine.”

Killian sighs. “How are you going to do that? It’s nearly ten at night.”

She shrugs. “I could go to the emergency room.” But, she shakes her head. “No, scratch that. We’re leaving tomorrow morning. There could be a long wait and I’m exhausted.”

He widens his eyes. “Then go home. Even if it’s just for a few days. You can meet up with us in a few cities.”

She hesitates and he reaches for her hand. Her runs his thumb in circles over her wrist and his brow creases. “I’m just worried. I’m sure you’d be concerned if I fell ill.”

Emma smiles a little, nodding. “Yeah. I would.” She takes a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll go home. Let’s see when the next flight takes off.”

///

**month twenty-one. airport, dallas, texas.**

He stands with her outside of the security entrance and she smiles a little at him, giving his hand a squeeze before she turns to him fully. She takes his other hand.

“I’ll call when I land. And I’ll be back for the show in Ohio.”

Killian just stares at her worriedly, as he had earlier, with his brows furrowed and creases in his forehead. His eyes are stormy and he’s tense. “When you get home I want you to rest, okay? You work far too hard.”

Emma nods. “I’ll try my best.”

“Trying isn’t enough,” he tells her pointedly and she’d laugh, because he’s so _serious_.

“I know. I’ll sleep. And I’ll miss you.” She smiles softly.

Killian swallows and nods in agreement. He leans forward and kisses her forehead. “I’ll miss you the most.”

Emma shrugs. “I don’t think that’s true.”

Her husband lifts his eyebrows at her and swings their linked arms a little. “Really? You think you’ll miss me more than I’ll miss you? It gets awfully lonely when I’m surrounded by those idiots.”

She laughs. “They’re not so bad.”

Killian laughs too. “Aye. I suppose.” He searches her face with a small smile on his lips.

Emma glances over her shoulder and releases a heavy breath. “I gotta go. Storybrooke is calling.”

He nods. “Very well.” They kiss sweetly, lingering a half second before parting. Killian squeezes her hands. “I love you. Be safe. Call me the minute you land.”

Emma bobs her head. “I love you too.”

She reluctantly releases his hands and she realizes that this is the first time in a while that they’ve been separated. It makes her heart sink to her belly as she steps away from him and she feels tears burning behind her eyes, but she doesn’t let them out until she’s sitting at her gate half an hour later.

Her phone vibrates as she sits there, biting down on her lip to keep from losing it, and a soft smile manages to spread on her face.

_Killian: Miss you already._

_Emma: I miss you more._

_Killian: How much more? Because I miss you more than a sailor misses the sea._

_Emma: More than that._

_Killian: I love you. Thank you for doing this. I know you didn’t want to._

_Emma: No you were right. Thank you for making me stay healthy. You’re a good husband._

_Killian: I know._

_Emma: I’m missing you just a little bit less now._

_Killian: I don’t think that’s true in the least._

_Emma: You’re right._


	5. Chapter 5

five.

**month twenty-one. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma wakes all at once, coming out of a nightmare where she’s freefalling. She pushes herself upright and looks around, sweat beading on her forehead and her chest heaving.

Sunlight pours into the room through the windows and she checks the alarm clock to find that it’s almost noon. Apparently, she was tired.

Buddy is curled up beside her and immediately, his head pops up. She sighs, pressing her hand against his head.

“Hey, Buddy,” she murmurs.

She feels weird, lightheaded again, and curses under her breath before getting up and heading to the bathroom.

Emma ends up sitting against the bathroom wall a few minutes later, and Buddy finds her, pushing past the door and squeezing in. He trots up to her and curls up beside her.

She finds comfort in his warmth and her heart lifts as she scratches his ears.

“I gotta go see the doctor today,” she murmurs. “Your daddy’s worried about me.”

Buddy squints happily at her and she smiles.

“Do you miss him?”

Buddy presses his chin onto her thigh and whimpers a little. She hums.

“Yeah. Me too.”

///

**month twenty-one. tour bus, the road to tennessee.**

Killian sits on the couch of the bus with Emma’s blanket in his lap.

He’s been sitting on his computer watching movies all night and morning, losing sleep because he can’t manage to fall asleep knowing Emma’s back home sick and he’s on the road.

His phone vibrates and he checks it, almost eagerly. It’s a picture of Buddy sitting up in bed beside Emma. He can’t help but smile.

_Killian: Tell him I miss him._

He stares at the picture for a little while longer and then turns his attention back to the screen of his computer. Robin comes out of his bunk and grabs a water bottle from the counter.

“Hey. How’s it?”

Killian exhales, shaking his head. “I miss her. But it’s for the best.”

Robin nods. “Now you know how we feel, leaving our ladies back home.”

He hums, a small smile filling his lips. “I suppose.”

Robin bites on his lip and then sits by Killian’s feet. “You know, she’s fine. She’s probably got a bug.”

Killian feels tears burning at his eyes and he exhales shakily. “I know. I just… things have been difficult lately and I haven’t been the best husband I could be for her.”

His friend bobs his head in understanding. “Well, marriage isn’t easy, as far as I’ve heard. I think you and Emma are doing a fine job for what life has thrown your way.”

“Aye. I suppose.” He smiles a little, fidgeting with the corner of the blanket in his lap. “Are you ready for the show tonight?”

Robin grins. “Ah. Yes. Tennessee. I’m quite excited, actually. Should be a decent gig.”

Killian chuckles. “It should. Emma’s sent me details of the schedule when we get there and we’re apparently due for another radio show beforehand.”

Robin scoffs. “When the hell did we get so popular?”

Killian shakes his head, laughing. “I’ve asked myself that question quite a bit in these past few months and I still don’t have an answer.”

///

**month twenty-one. venue, nashville, tennessee.**

With everything he’s been dealing with lately weighing heavy on his chest, Killian finds that being alone makes matters easier.

He wanders the venue with a little smile on his lips. He takes it in and has a seat in one of the chairs, staring up at the stage where he’ll be performing later in the evening.

Seeing the stage from where he’d typically see Emma makes him miss her more than he had before and he pulls his phone out to call her.

“Hey,” she says softly.

“Hi, Sweetheart.”

Emma’s quiet for a heartbeat and then she says, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” He whispers. He leans forward and presses his head down in his empty hand. “How are you? How’s the house?”

“I’m… the same,” she responds. “The house is fine. Liam and Elsa were excited to see me last night.”

She laughs a little and it makes him smile.

“Yeah?”

Emma hums. “And Buddy slept with me. I think he could tell I’m not feeling great lately.”

His heart squeezes tight and he nods. “Good pup, he is.”

“Yeah.” She sighs. “I’m on the way to the doctor right now. I’ll call you later to tell you how it goes.”

“Okay. Good.” Killian smiles. He leans back in the chair and stares up at the ceiling. “Emma, I want to apologize for everything lately. It’s been chaotic and a lot is on my plate and I wish I could be better for you.”

“Killian, it’s fine,” Emma promises. “I’ve been off lately too. Let’s just… take this little break and when we get back together we can start fresh.”

Killian takes a breath. “Okay.”

“I got twelve hours last night,” Emma tells him. “And I haven’t checked my emails yet so if everything is on fire you won’t know until after this appointment.”

He laughs. “Well, I should hope things aren’t in flames. Everything seems good on this end.”

“Oh, good,” Emma says, seeming relieved. “Okay. I’m at the office. I’ll talk to you later. Have fun in Nashville, babe. Take pictures and play guitars in stores and drink something for me.”

Killian chuckles. “As you wish.”

///

**month twenty-one. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma enters the house and immediately, Buddy scampers up to her, yipping excitedly.

Emma has her head in the clouds, her mouth dry and her stomach twisting nervously. She can’t shake the feelings she has bubbling up in her and she isn’t sure how she’s supposed to get anything done, but she has to.

So, she drops to her knees and strokes Buddy’s backside, kissing the tip of his nose.

She rises to her feet again and sets the mail down on the table in the kitchen before she gets a glass of water and then sips it as she heads up to her room.

Emma toes out of her shoes and grabs her laptop, but her mind is only in one place. It’s been a few hours since the appointment and she still doesn’t know what to think or do.

She’d spent a lot of time at the harbor looking out at the horizon, thinking about how life has led her where it has, and she knows Killian’s probably waiting on a phone call, but she needs to see his face.

She pulls up the application and hits his name, shifting upright on the bed. She bites on her lip when her stomach tosses anxiously.

The connection rings a few times before she’s answered. Killian’s face is big on her screen and his smile is wide. He’s sitting up in the bus and she can tell he hasn’t slept well.

“Swan!” He cheers. “Hey!”

Emma manages to grin. “Hi. Are you free? Can we talk?”

“Oh, yeah,” Killian nods. He shifts and pulls his phone out so she can see more of him. “Just resting up before the show.”

She hears the guys moving around in the bus and she grimaces. “Are you sure you’re free? I can call after the show.”

“No, Sweetheart, it’s fine. I’ve missed you. I want to talk now. And after the show you know we’ll be out until three in the morning. You’ll be sound asleep by then.”

Emma sighs. “Yeah. You’re right.” She licks her lips and her stomach twists violently. “So I went to the doctor and it’s not the flu or a stomach bug.”

Killian gets a confused look on his face and he straightens out.

She hears Robin and Will talking loudly about chocolate and it might be funny in person, but she can’t even smile a little at the idea. Killian takes her with him out of the bus and shakes his head.

“Sorry, love,” he says. “Privacy is a commodity around here, apparently.”

Emma laughs a little. “Yeah.”

He stares at her with expectancy and she fights every urge she has to not tell him what’s up right now.

“Um…” She swallows the hard lump in her throat and looks down at the comforter of the bed before she looks at her husband’s face in the feed. He’s so patient and loving and she feels it, even being miles apart. “I’m pregnant.”

Immediately, he reacts. His eyes go wide and his jaw falls open a bit. He curses under his breath.

“Pregnant,” he repeats. “As in… _pregnant_. You’re… pregnant.”

Emma nods. She manages to smile, finally. Her voice is soft, and she actually kind of feels better, though tears form in her eyes, “Yeah. You’re going to be a daddy.”

Killian exhales sharply and she can see tears in his eyes, too, as a smile spreads across his face. “Well, this is something else. I certainly didn’t think you’d be telling me I’m going to be a father tonight.”

She laughs. “I’m sorry. I should have waited for when you were on the road or something. I should have waited for after the show at least.”

“No, no,” Killian says, sniffling as he wipes at his eyes. He has such a warm, loving glow in his eyes, and she allows it to lift her heart. “I’m… Emma, this is-“ He pauses, shaking his head. “I’m so _happy_. I’m thrilled. I love you so much.” He stares at her and she longs for him more than she ever has before, wishing she could feel his palms against hers and his lips on her skin. “I can’t believe it. Gods. We’re having a baby.”

Emma laughs again. “Yeah. We’re having a baby.”

Killian glances around as there’s movement around him and then walks away from the bus, ending up standing beside a dumpster. He bites on his lip and shakes his head. “Gods. Swan. I had no idea. How could I have missed the signs? You were so tired and sick.“

She shakes her head. “I know. Don’t worry. I missed the signs too. It took about three at-home pregnancy tests in the bathroom of the gas station after the doctor told me what was wrong for me to actually believe him.”

Her husband admires her and shakes his head. “Emma, I’ll come home tomorrow.”

“No,” she says. “Killian, you have a show in a few days.”

“And I can fly out tonight and make it in time-“

Emma gives him a look. “Babe, I want you here. You know I do. But I also don’t want us spending all of our money at once. The tour was kind of a huge deal to begin with.”

Killian breathes out again. “I miss you. More than anything. This past day has been miserable.”

Emma nods in agreement. “Yeah. Kind of the worst.”

For a beat, Emma just watches her husband on the other end of the video chat and she swallows as she wipes the tears from her eyes. She wishes he were here so she could comfort him.

“I’ll miss everything, Emma. I don’t want to miss anything. I don’t want to miss a single moment with you while you’re carrying our first child. Or any children we’ll have, for that matter.”

Her heart flutters and she starts to cry again. She can’t help it. Now she’s thinking about how messed up it’s going to be. A tour bus isn’t a place for raising a baby and the band is finally finding success. She shakes the ideas out of her mind and returns to the present.

“Killian. No. You need to finish up the tour. I’ll just rest up for a little while and when the morning sickness stops, I’ll join you again.”

Killian looks as if he’s in pain. “Emma.”

“It’ll be over soon. The doctor said morning sickness usually goes away after the first trimester.”

He furrows his eyebrows. “And how far along are you?”

Emma licks her lips. “I’m almost three months. I have to make another appointment and we’ll find out more then.”

“I want to be there.” Killian says, and she can tell he won’t be swayed. “So when you make the appointment, tell me, and I’ll come.”

She stares at him as he looks away from her.

He curses. “They’re asking for me.”

She nods. “We’ll talk about it later. I don’t want you leaving the tour for a thirty-minute appointment, Killian.”

“They’ll show you the baby, then, aye? I want to see the baby. I want… I want _everything_.”

He starts to walk away from the dumpster and she shifts on the bed. She bites on her lip and shakes her head.

“I want you to have everything, but if there’s one thing I think we’re both learning, it’s that sometimes you can’t.” The truth tastes bitter on her tongue and she hates it. So much. “And I know it’s different because we’re having a baby, but, you can’t expect that you’ll get to be here every step of the way if you’re so busy. Just think about when we have it. You’ll be on the road half the time and I’ll have to stay at home to take care of it.”

Killian takes a deep breath. “Emma I’m not going to neglect you or the baby because I’m on the road. I’ll be there. Just let me know the day.”

She nods hesitantly. “Okay. Fine.”

///

**month twenty-one. venue, nashville, tennessee.**

Honestly, he _should_ be glowing. He should be _excited_. He should be telling everyone he knows the good news.

But, instead, he’s overwhelmed as he considers his future with the little one in the mix.

He wants, more than anything, to be a good father for their child, but as he steps on stage that night in Nashville, facing the crowded room with tears brimming in his eyes, he realizes he’s already just like the man that abandoned him as a five-year-old boy.

He misses Emma, but his heart aches for the child growing within her even more than that.

The set is full of heartache and he forces himself to smile for the crowd- they’ve paid for a performance and they’re certainly going to get one.

And when the show is finished, he retreats to the bus without saying anything to the guys, instead tucking himself into his bunk, closing the curtain, and pulling open his phone.

He has a few messages from Emma when he checks and he has to smile, because she’s sent him a picture of her middle, her left hand pressed against it.

_Emma: It’s apparently the size of a brussel sprout, if my calculations are correct. So say hello to our brussel sprout._

The tears come easily and he bites on his lip to keep from making noise. “Hi, my little brussel sprout.” He whispers, pressing his finger against the picture.

He turns onto his side and turns away from the noise coming onto the bus as he types out a response to his wife.

_Killian: I love you both. And I miss you both._

A few moments pass and he has to smile when Emma replies, though it is nearly one in the morning.

_Emma: I can’t speak for the little sprout, but I love you and I miss you too._

_Emma: How was the show?_

Killian considers typing out an answer, but instead he calls her and presses his phone against his ear.

“It was miserable,” he says quietly.

Emma sighs. “Well, the internet doesn’t say that. They loved you.”

He smiles a little. “Yeah.”

“I think you sold out the merch table again. And the venue was close.” She pauses. “I’m ordering more merch. It should make it to Ohio when you get there.”

“Okay.”

Emma’s quiet. “I’m thinking about ordering onesies this time.”

Killian chuckles and wipes at the tears that come. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She says, and he knows she’s thinking about their baby just as much as he is.

He sniffles. “Have you told anyone yet?”

“No,” she replies. “Just you. I don’t think I want to tell anyone for a little while anyway. In case.”

“Aye,” he agrees. “I think that’s a good idea.”

His stomach flips when he hears Robin’s voice closer. “Hey, Jones! We’re going out.”

“No,” Killian replies, tucking his phone away from his mouth. “I’m not up for it.”

“You can go, you know,” Emma says.

He grimaces when Robin pulls the curtain away and gives him a hard look. “You can’t keep sulking all day. Emma’s in Maine, yes. But you know who took care of you before you got married? We did. So we’re going to take care of you and take you out for beers and we’re going to forget that Emma’s gone away.”

He ends up accidentally hanging up on Emma and leaving his phone behind thanks to Robin and his eagerness, and he feels bloody awful about it all night long.

///

**month twenty-one. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

She has a bout of morning sickness after having dinner and again as she’s scrolling through Twitter to find out what people think of the show in Nashville.

Instead of doing wedding research or stuff for the band, Emma ends up looking up books online to help teach her about pregnancy that she orders and she has twelve tabs open as she researches what she should expect.

She falls asleep researching baby names and when she wakes up, she has a text from her husband waiting for her.

_Killian: Sorry about last night. I’m paying for it this morning._

_Emma: It’s okay._

_Emma: You should see my browser history. You’d think I’m pregnant or something._

_Killian: Make the appointment?_

_Emma: Yes. It’s tomorrow._

She really should have expected it, but she’s slightly surprised when her phone vibrates wildly and his face appears on her screen.

“Tomorrow? Swan, I’m on the road tomorrow.”

She hums. “I know.”

Killian curses under his breath and she hears him shifting. “Emma, I don’t want to miss it.”

She’s quiet for a few moments. “I want you to be there but you and I both know you can’t make every appointment.”

“Aye, but I at least want to try.”

Emma can tell Killian’s frustrated and it makes her sigh. “I have to go. I learned last night that all of my trips to the bathroom are all thanks to this little sprout making room to grow.” She sits up in bed and Buddy stirs at her side. She strokes over his head. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And she knows, oh, she _knows_ he’s mad at her, but he won’t verbalize his anger with her over the phone. She knows he won’t keep it bottled up for long, too, and part of her hopes he’ll fly out tomorrow against her will, but she knows he won’t because he’s dedicated to the tour.

“I’ll talk to you later.”

Killian sighs. “Aye.”


	6. Chapter 6

six.

**month twenty-one. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma walks into the house with tears still in her eyes and her heart racing wildly. She’s _happy_ , but it’s bittersweet, because Killian isn’t here to experience this joy along with her.

She holds in her hand a black and white image, a white blob to some, but it’s their little baby and she can hardly breathe because of that.

Buddy comes trotting up to her happily and Emma smiles. “Hi, Buddy.”

Liam and Elsa are out, at lunch, and Emma takes the opportunity to take a picture of the sonogram for Killian. She sends it to him.

_Emma: I am eleven weeks along. The baby is a healthy brussel sprout with a heartbeat._

Being at the doctor’s office by herself for an appointment regarding the health of her unborn baby had been relatively interesting, especially since this is _Storybrooke_ and everyone knows everyone, and everyone knows everyone’s business too.

The doctor had given her a sad look when she’d explained that Killian’s on tour, and had asked if she would like to call him so he could halfway be in attendance, but she told him that she didn’t want to bother him.

And of course it would have been amazing to have Killian there. So many times over the course of the appointment, she wished she could have a hand to hold and someone to wipe her tears.

As she stands in the kitchen, Emma takes a shaky breath. She has a million things to do, but all she wants is to be back on the tour bus with Killian.

///

**month twenty-one. tour bus, road to ohio.**

Killian lies in his bunk for an obscene amount of time, and it’s a good thing, too, because the second he gets a text from Emma, he loses it.

Tears run down his cheeks and he has a hard lump in his throat that he swallows. The image of his child is on the screen of his phone.

Killian presses his finger against it and sobs once.

He turns, pressing his face into his pillow for a moment while he tries to compose himself. More sobs break from his throat and he feels like thrusting his phone a mile away while at the same time holding it closer.

When he feels a little better, he turns onto his side and stares at the image again.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, broken. “I’m a bloody horrible father already, aren’t I?”

He can’t be the same man his father was. He _can’t_. But all he’s thinking about is how successful the band has become.

Raising a child doesn’t work on a tour bus. The road is no place for a baby and he wants his children to have the life he’d never had. And he’s not ready to give it up, because he’s met people, from each city that they’ve toured, and they’ve all been so passionately impacted by his music.

Killian sniffles before he calls Emma and he wipes his eyes and nose as the phone rings.

“Hi,” she says softly.

“Hi.” Killian replies. He takes a shaky breath. “How was it?”

Emma clears her throat. “It was good. The doctor was great. I heard the heartbeat and we looked at the baby. And he said it’s healthy, but he wants me to rest a lot more than I am.”

He hums. “Aye.” He sucks in a breath. “And you’re eleven weeks.”

“Yeah,” Emma sounds like she’s smiling. “It was that night we spent in Boston while you guys were doing the two day festival.”

Killian manages to smile. “Ah.”

Emma laughs once. “We’re having a baby. It’s… actually happening. I heard the heartbeat today. I _saw_ it.”

Killian swallows the lump lodged in his throat again and he closes his eyes. “Yeah.”

Emma’s silence matches his for a few moments. “We haven’t talked about having kids very much and we made it happen anyway. I don’t… if you’re not okay with it-”

He shakes his head vehemently. “I want this, Swan, I promise you.”

She releases a breath. “Okay. Good. Because I keep seeing an image of our kids in my head and I just… it’s what I want.”

He smiles a little.

“And the timing sucks,” she adds, “because I’m here and you’re there and everything with the band is…” Emma stops herself.

“Aye,” he breathes, his hand going over his eyes. “Emma, I don’t know how we’re going to do this.”

He hears her fidget with something and then Buddy barks. “We’re going to make it work. I’m not worried.”

He tilts his head. “Swan… I’m on the road. The band will probably sign a label soon and that means more time away from home and more tours and…”

“Hey. I know. I’m the one pulling the strings.” Emma tells him. It doesn’t help him feel better. “Speaking of which… I have a pile of things to do today and I’ve only been awake for 3 hours. Thanks to the little one.”

Killian has to smile at her words, but it doesn’t make him feel any better knowing she’s still worn down by work and carrying their child.

“Emma, it’s a baby,” he tells her. “And right now it needs you to take care of it. It can’t do that on it’s own.”

She’s quiet. “I have a job and I have to do it.”

Killian nods against his pillow. “Aye, love. I know. I just wish… don’t stress yourself too badly, darling.”

“I know. I’m _trying_ to be good at this, Killian.”

He cringes slightly at the tone of her voice. Clearly, he’s upset her. He sighs. “Emma-”

“I have to go. In addition to having a job, I have needy friends, apparently, who have decided to come visit me.”

He listens to Buddy yipping and then Emma sighs. “I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”

“I love you too.” Killian says lowly.

Emma hangs up first and he brings his phone down. He stares at the image of his child once more and then sets it over his heart as his eyes slide closed again.

///

**month twenty-one. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma hides the sonogram in a drawer of a side table that has a vase full of flowers on it in the entryway. She straightens, sighing, as she stands at the front door.

Then, she pulls it open, finding all of her friends waiting for her on the other side.

“Oh, hi, you guys,” Emma says, forcing herself to grin. “I didn’t think I’d be seeing you.”

Mary Margaret holds out a covered dish and Belle has a tupperware container. They all smile widely at her.

“We came to check in! It’s such a surprise having you in town!”

And it’s how Emma ends up sitting at her dining room table with Belle, Tink, Mary Margaret, Ruby, and Regina.

Emma had met Regina Mills when they moved to Storybrooke and things hadn’t been necessarily wonderful between them, especially as the deputy, but since she’d started dating Robin, things have been better.

Mary Margaret had brought her a meal, and it’s what they’re sharing now, with silverware clattering against their plates between bites. Emma smiles a little as she looks up at the faces of her expectant friends.

Obviously, they know something’s up.

“So… how’s the road?” Mary Margaret asks.

Emma shrugs. “It’s fine.” She slides her hands into her lap and chews her casserole. “The guys are doing a great job. You guys should see their faces every night at the shows.”

Ruby, Belle, and Regina straighten at her words and Belle plays with her food.

“How’s… how’s Will?” She asks tentatively. “We’ve talked on the phone a few times but other than that he hasn’t said much.”

Emma opens her mouth. “Um… he’s good. I think he misses you. The other night on the bus I heard him playing the ukulele after the show.”

Belle softens. She smiles weakly. “The one I gave him?” Emma nods. “Do you think it’d be possible to see him?”

“Yeah,” Emma smiles. She takes a breath. “You could meet up with them at their next stop on tour.”

“Will you be going back?” Regina asks. “On tour?”

Emma hesitates. She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m kind of swamped with work at the moment and Killian wanted me to come home to rest and try to get caught up.”

Ruby narrows her eyes at her. “But you and the hubs can _barely_ keep your hands off of each other. How are you surviving?”

She gives her friend a pointed look. “I survived before I met Killian, didn’t I?”

Ruby shrugs as she lifts her glass of water to her lips.

“Is there something going on?” Tink offers. “Between you and Killian?”

Emma pinches her brow inward. “What? No. He’s just busy with the tour and I’m busy with work. And he’s stressed about his father coming to town.”

Ruby hums skeptically. “Sounds like something’s going on to me.”

Mary Margaret looks between them and shakes her head, reaching out her hand to hold Emma’s wrist. “Emma, I’m sure whatever it is, we can help you.”

Emma’s stomach twists and she starts feeling that familiar lightheadedness. “No, no, it’s nothing. I think it would be best if you guys left. I have a lot to do. Bills to pay and people to call… emails to send.” She looks down at her plate. “But thank you for the food and company. Elsa and Liam can be a little much sometimes.”

Mary Margaret sounds scandalized, “But we just got here!”  

Emma just gives her a look. “I’ll be in town for a little while longer. You can come back tomorrow.”

Regina leads the way for the girls sitting at the table, but Mary Margaret lingers as they walk toward the front door. She practically crowds Emma, lowering her voice.

“Emma, are you…” she pauses, pursing her lips. “Are you pregnant?”

Emma’s eyes widen and she gives Mary Margaret a look. “What?”

“You’re _glowing_ ,” Mary Margaret tells her. “And you’re not with Killian on the road, where you’d rather be, and I can only think that the only explanation for that is that you’re either in a fight, or you’re pregnant. And I don’t think you’re in a fight, because after everything you’ve been through, you wouldn’t fight with him to this extreme.”

For a moment, Emma just stares dumbfounded at her closest friend. Then, she reluctantly sighs, nodding. “Yeah, well, it’s a little bit of both.”

Mary Margaret gasps, bringing her hand up to her mouth when she makes a noise a little too loud.

Emma is quick to say, “Don’t tell anyone. I’ve only told Killian and I’m not ready to tell more people yet.”

Her best friend tilts her head in _that way_ , drawing her hands to her chest as tears fill her eyes. She smiles happily. “Emma…”

Emma manages a true smile as her hand drifts to her midsection. “I went to the doctor this morning and everything’s great. I’m almost three months along.”

Mary Margaret nods quickly. She wipes at her eyes. “Oh, Emma, I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Emma whispers, tears forming in her own eyes, because she hasn’t had anyone to celebrate with.

The petite brunette is quick to wrap her arms around Emma, much to Emma’s delight. Her heart squeezes warmly as Mary Margaret holds the back of her head as a mother would, and Emma’s eyes close as she buries her nose closer to Mary Margaret’s neck.

“If you want to talk, about anything, you know you can call or visit.” Mary Margaret says as soon as they part. She holds both of Emma’s hands tight.

Emma nods. “Yeah. Of course. I just… I need some time to myself.”

Mary Margaret studies her and nods. “Okay.” She squeezes her hands. “And if you need any pregnancy tips or books or clothes… you know where to find me.”

Emma laughs, finally feeling the weight on her shoulders lifting. “Definitely.”

Her laughter makes Mary Margaret giggle. Then, she looks over her shoulder at where the other girls are standing. “Okay. I’ll have to be elaborate, but I won’t tell them the truth. I’ll let you and Killian tell them in your own time.”

“Thank you.”

For a moment longer, Emma holds onto Mary Margaret’s hands, and she earns a serious look. “Emma, I don’t think you should work as hard as you are. Get some sleep and eat well. The baby needs it.”

Emma hesitates, knowing full well that Mary Margaret is right, but also feeling the weight of duty on her shoulders once again. “Yeah. Okay.”

Mary Margaret lets go of her hands and then she’s gone, heading the way of her friends, and Emma is left pondering just how she’s going to balance these two areas of her life.

///

**month twenty-one. tour bus, road to ohio.**

“Mate, how’s Emma doing?” Will asks suddenly, and Killian stares up at him over his hand of cards, his heart racing wildly.

He shakes his head. “Fine, I suppose. She’s probably going to take more time than we thought she would. Stay in Storybrooke until she’s made a full recovery.”

Robin and Jefferson both set their hands down and narrow their eyes at him.

“Wait. What?” Robin asks.

Killian sighs, sitting back in his chair. “She’s just not feeling great at the moment. And she’s got a lot on her plate, with the band and… everything.”

Whale, who sits on the couch with his phone out, suddenly joins the conversation, hopping up and going to stand beside the table. “Ruby said she’s hiding something.”

Killian pulls on his best poker face and shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“What if it is?” Jefferson asks. “Have you talked to her lately?”

He gives his friends a look. “She’s fine. I don’t know why you’re so concerned about the well being of my wife all of a sudden.”

Robin tilts his head at him. “Because she’s just as important to this band as you are. We all have grown to love Emma.”

“She’s like the band mum,” Will says wistfully, giving his head a shake. He has a tiny smile on his face, as if he misses her dearly, and it makes Killian smile too.

“Well, I know she cares a lot for you boys as well.” Killian tells them. “And I’m sure she’s itching to get back on tour. Once she’s rested up and ready for it.”

The guys study him. Whale is the first to break the silence, “And how about you? How are you?”

Killian shrugs him off. “I’m fine.”

“You are not,” Jefferson laughs. He claps Killian on the back and Robin raises his eyebrows in agreement.

“You’re not sleeping well and I’m quite sure I heard you crying this morning.”

He starts to get red with embarrassment and shakes his head. “No. I wasn’t _crying_. I’m not an infant.”

“Hey, listen,” Will says, straightening out. “It’s alright to be a little sad and lonely. Maybe we can get you something next stop.”

Robin swats Will on the back of his head. “Shut up.” He turns to Killian. “Perhaps you need a break.”

Killian shakes his head. “We’re on tour. Lead singer here, remember?”

“I’m just saying, you’ve got a lot on your plate as well. With the tour and with your father being back. And now Emma’s in Storybrooke.”

Killian swallows. All he can see in his mind’s eye is that little lump of white against a black background. His little son or daughter, growing with each passing day. He wants to be better, for their child, for Emma, and he knows the only way he’s going to do that is to consider his options.

If he’s going to be better, he’ll have to forgive his father, and he’s definitely not ready for that. He’s barely ready for the show coming up.

“Aye,” he tells Robin. “I know I’ve got a lot going on but I need to be doing this right now. It’s for the best. If I’m going to be better for my family I’m going to have to be _better_.”

Whale smiles a little at him and reaches over to give his arm a squeeze. “You’re a good guy, Killian.”

“Thanks, mate,” Killian mumbles, shaking his head.

He’s not good. There is no way he’s _good_.

///

**month twenty-one. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Elsa makes dinner and Liam sits on the couch watching television and it’s almost like nothing’s missing, except everything is.

Emma leans her head against her hand as she plays with her food. Elsa and Liam are talking about their days and Buddy is curled up at Emma’s feet, patiently sitting there with his chin on her toes.

She misses the road and she misses Killian and the guys. She’s carrying a _baby_. Her world is on it’s side now. Everything has a new meaning and she sees things in a new light.

Work feels bland, because she knows it’s not going to last forever. She’s going to be a mom in a few months and she knows _that’s_ going to change things all over again.

Just the same, her duties as the band’s manager are still weighing heavy on her shoulders and she knows she’ll be able to finish things but it’ll take time. Thankfully, time is something she’s blessed with here at home, now that she doesn’t have distractions and shows to combat against.

“Emma, is everything alright?” Elsa suddenly asks.

She looks up at her sister-in-law with wide eyes and a slacked jaw. She forces a smile and nods. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Elsa narrows her eyes at her. “You haven’t touched your dinner. I hope it’s not because of my cooking.”

Emma laughs and gives a swift shake of her head. “No. No. I’m sure it’s great. I’m just not very hungry.”

“Ah. Homesick, are you, Emma?” Liam asks.

She turns to her brother-in-law and sighs. “I _am_ home.”

He hums, a wry smile filling his lips. “But you and I both know that’s not true.”

Emma’s fingers fall to her lap and she nods. “Yeah. I guess I miss Killian a little.”

Liam and Elsa laugh. They exchange glances and Emma fidgets with the hem of her shirt, her palm falling flat against the place her little brussel sprout is growing in. She has to smile a little as she imagines that child for the hundredth time all day.

“When do you think you’ll go back?” Elsa asks.

She shakes her head. “I don’t think I’ll go back for two weeks.”

“Well, we’ll love having you until then.” Elsa tells her, setting her hand on her arm. “And I’m sure Buddy will, too.”

Emma looks between the pair and smiles. “Thanks, you guys.”


	7. Chapter 7

seven.

**month twenty-one. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

She struggles to get her jeans on as she fumbles around in the dark and she scowls because of it. Emma finds the light on Killian’s nightstand and switches it on.

Staring down at herself, her heart starts racing, and she lifts her shirt, pressing her left hand against the skin of her middle. It’s firm as she slides her fingers downward, and she finds the gentle, small, curve a sight to behold.

Her immediate reaction is a smile, and she shakes her head in disbelief.

Emma grabs her phone and snaps a picture. She sends it to Killian and drags her teeth over her lip.

“Well, I guess you’re not a brussel sprout anymore, are you?” she asks, still forcing her way into her jeans regardless of the fact that they’re not cooperating.

Emma is exhausted, but she has to start her day early because of the work she has to do in order to catch up. She has been feeling better lately. The morning sickness has somewhat subsided and she’s ready to get back to Killian and the bus.

Time apart has been miserable. She’s had to live with text messages and social media updates from him and sometimes he’ll call, but it depends on the day.

They’re going to be in Kansas City in a few days and she wants to be able to join them then. It’s been her goal for a little while now, but she hasn’t told Killian about it.

As soon as she finally gets her pants on, her phone starts to ring and she finds Killian’s face staring back at her. She smiles a little and takes it to her ear.

“Hey. Why are you awake? It’s five in the morning.”

He laughs softly. “I should be asking you the same thing.”

Emma sighs. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Me too,” he replies quietly. “Gods, I miss you, Emma. So much.”

Emma bites down on her lip as she sinks down onto the bed. She stares at the picture of them on Killian’s nightstand and wishes he could be here so she could just be with him again.

“I miss you too,” she says.

They sit in silence for a few moments and she takes a steadying breath as her gaze falls to the small curve of her middle.

“You’re showing now,” her husband murmurs. “And I’m missing it.”

She shakes her head. “You’re not missing it.”

“I want to be there. To experience it.” Killian whispers. “And instead I’m here.”

“I know,” Emma closes her eyes. She swallows. “I want to meet you in Kansas City. I’m feeling better now and I just… I miss you and I’m tired of doing this. It would be different if I wasn’t pregnant, but I am, and your kid is making me hormonal.”

Killian laughs. “I don’t think I need apologize for that.”

“No,” she sighs. “It’s just that I’m crying one second and totally fine the next.”

“I’m sorry, love,” he murmurs. “Do you think you’re finished with the morning sickness?”

Emma nods. “Yeah. Or, at least, I’m close.”

“Alright,” Killian sighs. She can practically hear his smile, “I might be acting selfishly, but I desperately want to see you again, and I think it’s time we tell the boys our news.”

She gets a little excited at the idea, a smile spreading across her face. “You want to tell them?”

“Well, if you’re going to be coming back on tour with us, I’d like for them to understand why you’ve suddenly got a glow.”

Emma hums. “Okay. We’ll tell them. But I want a few hours to myself with you first.”

“I don’t think I could argue even a little with that logic.”

///

**month twenty-one. airport, kansas city, missouri.**

He’s been excited for a few days. His energy levels are higher and he’s sleeping, which is a delight, because he’s had a show between the time they’d decided that Emma would be joining them again on tour.

Despite everything going on in his life at the moment, with the tour, with his family issues, the one thing that has always been constant is Emma, and he’s so glad that she’s going to be here with him again.

Killian stands at baggage claim, his heart racing as soon as Emma sends him a text that the flight has landed. He wiggles his fingers at his sides and bites down on his lip as people start flooding his way.

He’s got half a mind to search for her himself, but then he sees her- blonde curls and bright green eyes. She’s wearing a shirt just snug enough that the little curve of her middle is visible and he feels tears burning in his eyes as soon as she meets his gaze.

Killian can’t stay still, so he goes for her, smile spread wide on his face to mirror hers, and there are people around them, but he doesn’t see them. He just sees her.

Emma laughs a song when he reaches her and lifts her into his arms. She smells fantastic and her body is warm against him. Her laughter continues until he sets her down again and he presses his forehead against hers.

“Oh, Emma,” he whispers, grinning wide. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

He barely gets the words out when her lips find his and he continues to smile, because she’s finally _here_ , in his arms.

He leaves a few kisses to her lips before parting from her and meeting her eyes.

She smiles at him so sweetly and he just wants to hold her, so he wraps his arms around her and kisses the side of her head as she rests against him.

“I love you,” she says.

“I love you too.”

Then they pull apart, and they both stare at each other as if they haven’t seen each other in years. And it honestly feels like they haven’t.

Killian drags his eyes down her body to her middle and presses his hand to it. They both are on edge when he does it, tears streaking down their cheeks.

Emma sniffles, wiping at her eyes and shaking her head. “Hormones.”

He can’t help but smile. He removes his hand and takes her hand instead, turning toward the baggage claim.

“We’re staying the night in the city tonight and our show is tomorrow. Then we’re heading out come the weekend.”

Emma nods. “That sounds good. I’m exhausted. Baby doesn’t like flying.”

Killian chuckles happily. He takes his hand from hers and instead wraps his arm around her middle. He kisses the side of her head again and they walk toward the luggage carousels.

“I’m kind of surprised you’re here by yourself,” Emma says.

“I told the guys I was going for a walk,” Killian shrugs.

Emma laughs and leans her head against his arm. She’s carrying her laptop bag and he reaches for it as soon as he realizes. She gives him a look as he’s placing it on his shoulder.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

He arches an eyebrow playfully at her. “Can’t your husband be a gentleman when he wants to be?”

Emma’s expression softens and she sighs. “Yes. Of course.”

For a moment, they stand there silently as they wait for the luggage, but then Emma turns to him and takes his hand again. “I went to an appointment yesterday.”

He hums curiously. “You did?”

Emma nods. “The doctor said our little one is doing well. He said the stress of being apart is probably bad for me and that I should sleep more.”

“Well,” Killian tilts his head to the side. “Now that we’re together, I can guarantee you I’ll keep an eye on that.”

She rolls her eyes and laughs. “You take care of me. Thank you.”

“Always,” he says, smiling ever wider.

///

**month twenty-one. hotel, kansas city, missouri.**

Emma wakes from a nap feeling well rested and _happy_.

She’s curled up against Killian, who lies on his back with his arm around her. His hand rests against her middle, over their little one, and she can’t help but smile against his chest.

Killian’s fingers tickle at her belly and she laughs softly. “Morning.”

“It’s midnight,” he chuckles, his voice thick from sleep. He takes his free hand and presses it over his face as she shifts so she can study him closer.

Emma shrugs. “Technically morning.”

He hums. “I suppose.”

His fingers continue to slide against her belly and then he moves his arm away from her. She watches him carefully as he pushes himself up into sitting position while she just lounges back against the pillows.

Killian shifts her shirt upward and he takes the calloused pads of his fingers and traces over the way her middle curves just so. A little smile plays at his lips and crinkles at the corners of his eyes and he lowers himself down so he can kiss her bellybutton.

Then, he leans his cheek against it, and he continues to draw little lazy lines over her. “Hi there, little pirate.”

Emma can’t help but smile at his tone, so loving and warm, and she reaches down to brush at his hair as he murmurs sweet nothings to the skin of her middle.

He grins up at her. “I can’t wait to feel it grow.”

She hums and finds his hand that’s pressed against her. She wraps hers around his as tears start prickling behind her eyes. “Me either.”

Killian starts kissing her stomach and she giggles at the feeling of his scruff on her skin. “Your daddy loves you very much, wee one. I promise you that.”

He gives the peak of the curve one final kiss and his fingers continue to linger there, just pressing against it as if he can’t believe his child could possibly be there.

He’s such a good dad already and she hopes he knows he is.

“Do you want a lad or a lass?” Killian asks as he pulls himself back to her, hesitantly.

Emma takes a deep breath as she turns toward him. “I don’t know. What do you want?”

A nervous little smile inches at the corner of his lips and he glances between them as his hand finds her middle again.

“A boy, I think.” He smiles wider, with decisiveness, and nods once. “Aye. A boy to teach guitar and sailing to.”

She laughs as she envisions such a boy with fire in his eyes and his father’s determination running through him. “Yeah. But it might not be a boy.”

Killian hums. “Aye. A little lass with her mother’s beauty and her papa’s brains.” He smirks. “I think she’d be just as fantastic as a boy would be.”

For a moment, they lie there quietly, and Emma thinks about what it’ll be like, having this baby, and she starts having doubts, but she realizes that she can’t, because right now, Killian is trying his hardest and she knows that’s all he’ll ever do.

“I think it’s a boy,” Killian tells her. “That’s what we were whispering about a moment ago.”

Emma raises her eyebrows and laughs. “Yeah? You guys were talking about that?”

He hums and nods. “He’s excited to come see us. But he needs a few months longer to grow.”

“Well,” Emma says as her fingers find Killian’s heart. “I guess he can hang out with me until he’s ready.”

Killian grins just as her stomach starts to growl.

“What’s this?” he asks, arching an eyebrow. “Are you hungry, little one?”

“I think so,” Emma sighs.

Killian grabs the phone and dials a number.

“What are you doing?” Emma asks, laughing.

“Room service,” he tells her. “And we’ll watch HGTV until you fall asleep again. It’ll be like old times.”

Emma hums as she rests again. “Grilled cheese, please.”

“The baby can’t live on toasted cheese alone, Swan,” Killian says, shaking his head, seeming completely scandalized. “But I suppose. If it’s what you wish.”

“It is,” she whispers as she hears the attendant on the other end answer.

Her husband awards her a look before he orders, and after he’s done, he kisses her. “Okay. Toasted cheese and onion rings are on their way. Let’s see what houses are for sale tonight.”

And it’s like this, with her husband cracking jokes as they watch House Hunters, and grilled cheese in her belly, that she falls quite soundly asleep- the best sleep she’s had in quite a few weeks.

///

**month twenty-one. tour bus, kansas city, missouri.**

After a day of sightseeing on their own, Killian and Emma end up on the tour bus.

Killian holds Emma’s hand and she enters the bus ahead of him, her sunglasses in her hair and her smile wide and expectant.

He can hear the guys chatting and it makes him a little nervous, because he’s about to share some pretty serious news with them and he isn’t sure how they’ll take it. Emma smiles at him as soon as he stands beside her on the bus and the guys are all shouting her name.

“Emma!” Robin says, his eyes wide. “You’re here!”

Emma laughs happily and nods. “Yeah. I’m here.”

One by one, Killian watches as his band mates come to Emma and award her a hug. Even Will Scarlet offers her one, though he glares at Killian afterward.

“I’m glad you’re here. We were worried something happened.” Jefferson says.

Emma laughs. “I’m glad to be back.”

She glances up at Killian and he smiles back at her, then looks at his band. His nervousness about their reactions is what has him biting on his lip. He knows they’ll be happy for them, but he doesn’t know what it’ll do for their dynamic as a band- as a team.

“Okay, mates, could you sit down for a moment, please? Emma and I have got something to talk with you about.”

Everyone looks confused, but they do as they’re told.

Killian shifts on his feet to face his wife and she gazes at him warmly. “Okay. Ready?”

Emma nods. “Ready.”

He turns back to the band and clears his throat. “I’m sure you know that Emma was feeling a bit sick before she left us for a few weeks.”

The guys nod.

“Yeah. Are you feeling better?” Whale asks.

“Um…” Emma hesitates. She looks up at him and he shrugs. “I went to the doctor when I got back home and we have something we have to tell you guys.”

Killian’s nerves have his fingers twitching at his sides and he studies the faces of the guys.

“Well?” Will asks.

Killian finds Emma’s eyes and his hand settles on the small of her back. He grins at her lovingly. “Well…” He turns his attention to the guys, “We’re going to have a baby. Emma’s pregnant.”

Everyone’s jaws fall open and their eyes widen.

“A baby!” Robin says first, his eyes wider than before. “Bloody hell, Jones, what on Earth? A baby?”

Killian and Emma laugh. He watches her nod. “We’re only three and a half months into it so there’s still quite a bit of time left, but we wanted to tell you guys because I’m kind of showing now.”

“You’re having a baby. I can’t believe it!” Jefferson says, rising to his feet with a smile on his face. “Congratulations, you guys!”

He comes to them and wraps his arms around their necks, giving their cheeks kisses, to which Killian groans. “Bloody hell, Jeff, keep your mouth to yourself, mate.”

“Oh, no,” Whale says, his grin spread wide. “Come here, you guys. We’re hugging it out. This is great news. I have to say, Emma, I did have some suspicions.”

Emma opens her mouth, but Victor wraps his arms around their necks and hugs them just as Jefferson had before.

“I am _thrilled_ for you two,” Robin says as he approaches next. He claps Killian on the back and then hugs him individually. “You’ll be a bloody fantastic dad, mate.”

Killian’s heart skips a beat and he has to swallow his pride as he forces a smile at his friend. “Thanks, mate.”

As Robin hugs Emma and swoons over her, Will approaches Killian with a sly smile on his face. “I ne’r thought the day would come that Killian Jones would become a father, but here we are. Congratulations, Pops.”

Will hugs him and Killian swats his head before he moves onto Emma, who laughs when Scarlet gives her a hug and mutters something into her ear. She rolls her eyes as the man moves away from her.

“So, basically, we’re going to be uncles in six months,” Robin smiles wide. “What a fantastic year. First we go on tour, now we’re going to have a little pirate along for the ride.”

Killian hesitates as he stares at Emma, but they don’t say anything about their plans because they don’t have any.

“You can’t tell anyone,” Emma says then. “We’re only telling you because I’ll be with you for a while and you were going to find out sooner or later and we thought we’d tell you now so you don’t worry about me.”

The guys all nod in understanding. “Well, I won’t tell anyone.” Jefferson says. “I can’t say anything for the rest of us.”

“I won’t tell a soul.” Robin swears, his expression honest.

Killian eyes Will and he groans. “I won’t tell.”

“Me either.” Whale confirms.

“Okay. Good.” Emma says and nods at him.

Killian grins. “Aye. Good.”

///

**month twenty-one. venue, kansas city, missouri.**

For the first time in a few weeks, Emma stands in the front row at the show.

She can’t keep the smile from her face and she gazes lovingly at her husband as they perform. He has a smile on his face, too, clearly happy that she’s back where he likes her.

“So listen,” Killian says into the microphone fifteen minutes into the show. He winks at her. “My wife is in the crowd tonight and I am so thrilled to have her here.” He smiles sweetly at her for a few moments. “I was wondering if you’d help me sing this song I wrote for her back when we were first married.”

He sings for her and her alone, keeping his eyes on her the whole way through the song, only averting them every so often to watch his fingering.

Her heart races at the way the room echoes the words she’s fallen in love with and her fingers settle over her middle subconsciously when it’s over.

Killian must see it, because his loving gaze grows ever warmer, as if thinking of their little one, and he swallows as he starts finger picking a slower tune.

“I love you,” she mouths, because in this moment, she needs him to know, and he smiles a little more, nodding.

“I wrote a song a long time ago,” Killian says into the microphone. “With the help of Robin.”

“Ah. Finally some recognition!” Robin cheers.

Everyone in the crowd laughs.

Killian chuckles as he continues to play his guitar. “It’s about my father.”

She can see the heartache and hear it as Killian plays. His eyes close and he grits out the vocals, and he has everyone in the room captivated because of it.

Her heart races, because the song curses the man for abandoning him. She knows he hasn’t forgiven his father, not yet, and she also knows that this song wasn’t on the original set list.

Clearly, the recent developments in his life have him thinking about who he is and who he wants to be.

She wanders backstage after the show and her phone is buzzing with what she needs to do, but all she can think about is the way Killian had stared at her from the stage.

When she finds the guys, they seem like they’re floating higher than usual. Will and Whale are chuckling together and Robin and Killian are talking with Jefferson.

She bites on her lip and smiles when her husband looks at her. “Hey. You guys were great.”

“Well, thank you, love,” Killian grins. He wraps his arms around her when she steps close enough to him and kisses her forehead. “You were a gorgeous sight to see again. I’ve missed you so much.”

Emma hums. She slides to his side with her arms wrapped around his middle and leans her head against his shoulder.

“We’re going to go out,” Jefferson announces. “Well, the rest of us are. Your husband has decided to stay in tonight.”

Emma chuckles. “Okay. Just be back before dawn. We’re packing up the bus tonight and then we’re leaving by noon.”

“Fine, _mum_ ,” Scarlet teases.

Emma’s heart flips and she rolls her eyes as she burrows closer to her husband. “We’ll see you in the morning, then,” Killian says.

Robin sets his hand on Emma’s arm before he bids them goodnight and Emma sighs as she watches them go.

“I want to have pickles.”

Killian laughs heartily. “ _Cravings_ , my love?”

Emma rolls her eyes. “I don’t know. _Maybe_.”

She looks up at him and he smiles warmly at her. “Okay. Let’s find us some second supper, then. And we can get back to that big comfy bed again.”

“Mmm. Sounds good.” Emma says, releasing Killian in lieu of taking his hand instead.

///

**month twenty-one. hotel, kansas city, missouri.**

“So, Mary Margaret knows,” Emma says as they sit on their bed in the hotel room. “But no one else does. Except for the band of course.”

Killian hums. “Of course.”

She munches on her burger with extra pickles and sighs contentedly.

“Is that good? Are your cravings satisfied?” Killian teases.

She rolls her eyes. “Yes. Thank you.”

Emma settles her hands in her lap as soon as she’s finished eating and studies her husband as he grabs a fry from their shared bag. “Have you talked to Liam lately?”

Killian shakes his head. “Not really. The other day he told me about the ship and how he wants to do some painting. Liam’s actually quite dull after a while.”

Emma laughs. She shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s true.”

Her husband hums. “Well, after you’ve lived with him for long enough, you do learn it is.”

Killian takes another fry and then leans back on his hands. He seems sadder in this moment, contemplating his family situation, and she knows better than to pry, but it feels like she has no choice.

“You must be thinking a lot about your dad, then,” she says quietly.

He nods and meets her eyes for a fraction of a second before averting them. “Aye.” He licks his lips and sits upright, taking his fingers through his hair. “Emma, I’m already so much like him that it’s killing me.”

She shakes her head and watches as he stands up. He stands there, biting on his lip, his hands on the back of his neck. He has a weary look on his face, as if he’s thought about it too much, and he’s genuinely heartbroken over the fact that things are the way they are.

“I don’t think you are,” she says.

“He abandoned us, Emma. He walked out because he couldn’t do it any longer. Isn’t that what I’ve done? I’m on the road and I can’t make appointments. I wasn’t there when you found out, for God's’ sake!”

Emma stares at him and her heart feels heavy because of how much he hates himself for something he loves so deeply. “You’re doing what you love. And I love that you care so much about me and about the baby, Killian, but your music is what you do really well and I want you to focus on that. I’m fine. The baby’s fine.”

“Aye, but what about a year from now when I’ve got a record deal and a contract and you’re at home with a six month old?” he asks, a touch louder than he seemed to intend, by the look in his eyes.

For a few moments, neither of them say anything. Emma doesn’t know what to say. He does have a good point.

Killian gets tears in his eyes and he sits on the bed with her again. “How can I be a good father if I’m gone just like mine was?”

Emma shifts so she can take his hand and she meets his eyes. She searches them as she contemplates her reaction and a small smile fills her lips.

“I want you to do what makes you happy,” she whispers. “We’ll figure it out, Killian. I know as a matter of fact that you’re nothing like your dad. Not if you’re so torn up about every second you’re missing with me.”

Emma reaches up to brush back his hair and crawls into his lap so she’s facing him. She drapes her arms around his neck and smiles lovingly at him. “You are going to be such a good daddy, Killian Jones. Especially if you love our little sprout as much as you love me.”

Killian smiles at her, finally, and she adores the way his eyes crinkle at the corners. His hands slide against her sides and he drags her shirt up just so he can put them over the place where the baby’s growing.

“I do love you,” he drawls with a warm smile. His eyes twinkle at her and she kisses his nose before she kisses him, softly at first, but then with more passion.

She giggles when he starts humming and she moves her lips from his, meeting his eyes instead.

“Are you singing?” she asks.

Killian winks at her. “Only your song, my love. Only your song.”

///

**month twenty-one. robin’s hotel room, kansas city, missouri.**

Killian sits across from Robin, who appears a bit nervous as he quietly stares anywhere but at him.

“Well? You asked me to come talk. I’m here.”

Robin takes a deep breath and finally looks away from the bedspread beside him to stare into his eyes. He clasps his hands together over his legs and smiles.

“Killian, you know I’m excited for you and Emma. This is great news.” Robin says, but Killian doesn’t say anything because he knows the other shoe is about to drop. “The guys… they asked me to talk with you about whether or not you’d like to continue on.”

Killian’s heart jumps in his chest and he shakes his head in confusion. “What? On tour?”

Robin nods weakly. “Yeah. Tour… all of it. Being in the band.”

Of all of the things he’d anticipated hearing from his friend’s mouth, this by far was the furthest discussion he’d thought he’d ever have. Killian shakes his head again and his mouth hangs open as he considers his words.

“I… I’m blown away that you’d consider kicking me out of the band just because my wife and I are having a baby.”

Killian takes his hand over the back of his head in frustration.

Robin shakes his head. “We’re not kicking you out. We’re giving you the option to stay with us and do what we’ve been doing for ten years or… you can go home, with Emma, and start your family properly. You and I both know what comes next is an album and numerous tours. It never ends, Killian.”

Killian stares at his friend in silence. “The band is just starting to take off and you want me to abandon ship.”

“I don’t want you to do anything,” Robin defends himself, pressing his hands to his chest. “I want you to do what feels right. If that’s staying here with us, so be it, but if it’s leaving to be with Emma, I understand completely. Killian, just trust me, I know your heart must be torn between doing one or the other. I want to give you the out now if you want to take it.”

He presses his hands over his face and leans forward as he closes his eyes. He knows what Emma wants him to do and as he considers his options, he knows he doesn’t want to be stretched terribly thin, but at the same time, he has an obligation to the band as it’s leader. And he doesn’t want to be like his father.

“Let’s finish the tour and have this conversation again when it’s over.” Killian tells Robin. “There’s a lot on my plate as it is and I need something to keep me from losing my mind.”

Robin nods. “Alright. The end of the tour. I’ll hold you to that.”


	8. Chapter 8

eight.

**month twenty-two. hotel, denver, colorado.**

Emma sits up in the big king sized bed with a bowl of chocolate ice cream balanced on her growing belly.

She’s doing some work while Killian plays his guitar beside her. He’s been writing a song all morning and she isn’t sure what it’s about, but it’s beautiful, and he seems to be happy with it.

“What are you up to?” Killian asks as he shifts on the bed and sets his guitar and the notebook down beside his side of the bed.

Emma licks her lips as she swallows her snack and quickly types out the last of an email. “You guys have been asked to join the local news for an interview and I’m signing you up for it because we could use some publicity.”

He hums. “Okay.”

He takes his hand over his face and then settles his chin on her shoulder. He takes his finger and sticks it into the ice cream bowl, like a child might.

Emma gasps, swatting at his hand. “Hey, hey,”

Killian just starts laughing as he licks his finger. She rolls her eyes and sets the bowl on her nightstand.

“Darling, you need to take a nap.”

“I’m busy. We have two shows in a row this week and I still need to make sure that video goes up tonight.” Emma sighs. “We should probably hire someone to do social media. It’s a bigger pain than anything else is.”

Killian presses his lips against her shoulder and then her cheek. “You need to have a nap. It’s for the baby. We’ve had this discussion, Swan.”

Emma groans. “Killian, I’m fine.”

“You’ve been up since six this morning for no reason other than you wanted to work,” Killian argues. “We’ve finally got a week off and all you want to do is spend it on your computer.”

She stares at her screen for a moment longer and sighs heavily as she closes the lid. Emma sets it down on the nightstand where her ice cream sits and then turns onto her side to face him.

“Okay. Fine. Happy now?”

Killian gives her a hard look. “Emma, I don’t want you to be angry with me over something as simple as rest. I thought you were going to be trying harder to listen to what the doctor had to say.”

“I am!” she insists. “I went to bed at eight last night.”

“Okay,” Killian says, shaking his head. “That doesn’t mean you don’t need more sleep.”

“And why is it that you’re telling me what to do?” Emma snaps at him.

She groans and forces herself up.

“Because you won’t do it yourself. I’m just trying to enforce what the doctor told us.”

Emma puts her shoes on and stares at him. “I’m going for a walk.”

She takes a deep breath and settles her hand over her middle as she heads for the door. She grabs her room key and then heads out.

As she walks, she hears a loud noise coming from the window at the end of the hall.

Curious, Emma draws close to it, and her jaw falls open at the sight of the mass of people standing at the front of the hotel in full band merchandise, clearly camping out waiting for them to emerge.

She instinctively reaches for her phone so she can call the lobby, but then she realizes she left it in the room.

Emma paces back to the room just as the door opens and Killian stands there, a concerned look on his face. “Have you heard what’s going on?”

“Yeah. Just saw it for myself, actually.” She shakes her head. “There have to be at least a hundred people out there. How did they find us?”

Emma pushes past Killian to get into the room and she charges ahead for the room phone.

“What are you going to do?”

She presses the front desk button. “Calling the front desk to see if they’ll do something and if they won’t… hi, I’m Emma Swan and I’m the manager of the band The Pirates.”

///

**month twenty-two. restaurant, denver, colorado.**

They get pre-show late lunch as a band, something that’s become a habit of theirs over the course of the tour, at a little Mexican place with hanging lights and authentic meals.

Emma’s sitting across from Killian at the end of the table and he listens as the guys goof off about something they’d done during their time off, without the two of them, abstinent as they are with the pregnancy.

“Bloody hell, Jones you missed out,” Robin says, laughing as he grabs a chip from the basket.

Killian smiles, though he finds it harder to do with the argument he’d been on the cusp of with Emma still tickling his palms. He shakes his head, toying with his glass before he brings it to his lips. He glances over at Emma, who has her face in her phone as she bites on a chip.

“Well, someone has to be responsible around here.”

He finishes his sip and Emma looks up at him, clearly a little more than frustrated with his choice of words, and he knows she’d probably say something if they weren’t with the guys, but instead she drops her hand to her bump and leans back in her chair, toying with her straw as she frowns and looks down at her placemat.

“Hey, did you guys hear about the crowd this morning at the hotel?” Jefferson asks. “That’s insane.”

“Yeah,” Whale agrees. “I didn’t think we were that popular.”

Will, who sits next to Killian, turns to him and nudges him in the side. “It’s because of this one. Dashingly handsome, ain’t he?”

Killian rolls his eyes and swats the back of Will’s head. “Shut up. It’s a group effort. I’m sure.” He glances over at his wife, and in an attempt to smooth things back over, he adds, “And we wouldn’t be here without Emma, so I’d say about half of the blame is on her shoulders for our boost in popularity.”

  
Next to her, Robin bobs his head and grins. “That’s right. Thank you, Emma. You work hard.”

Emma peels back a smile and lifts her eyebrows at him, as if telling him off, and leans forward to grab another chip. “I’m glad to hear what I do is at least a little appreciated.”

Killian presses his tongue into his cheek and looks down into his drink, then downs the rest of it.

Clearly, their argument is not over yet, and it looks like he’s not ever going to have his side heard.

///

**month twenty-two. venue, denver, colorado.**

For the first time in a few days, they actually have to perform.

It’s a nice feeling, being on stage again. They do sound checks while Emma continues to put out fires backstage. He’s amazed constantly by her strength and force. Sometimes he fears he’ll be knocked down by it.

As soon as he’s finished testing out his microphone, Killian sticks a pick into his pocket and sets his guitar down in it’s case, then heads back to find her pacing around on the phone.

She looks frantic and worried, and her hair is no longer down and bouncing around her back, but instead held high above her head, sloppy, and at the same time beautiful.

She doesn’t smile when she meets his eyes, instead brushing past him to get out into the quieter hall when the guys all come boisterously into the green room.

His heart sinks. Mainly because they’ve been having quite the off day, but also because she’s his pregnant wife and she’s looking impossibly frazzled at the moment.

His phone starts to ring and he scrambles for it, immediately rolling his eyes when he sees that it’s Liam demanding a video phone call. He has to smile, though, as he presses the green button on his phone screen.

“Hey, brother,” Killian says on a sigh.

Liam gives him a hard look. “Killian Jones, I cannot believe that I had to find out from a _tabloid_ that you’re about to be a father.”

Killian’s heart drops to his stomach and he holds open his mouth. “Bloody hell. What?”

Liam lifts up a magazine and looks at it, giving his tongue a click. “Says here you and your Swan were enjoying your night out the other evening when this photograph was snapped. Apparently she looked like she was glowing.” Liam looks at him again and smiles slowly. “Brother, I know you’re on tour and I’m your big brother, but you didn’t have to hide this from me.”

Killian sighs. He takes his fingers through his hair and steps out into the hall just as the guys start chatting a little too loudly. He finds Emma standing by the other end of the hall and he keeps still, leaning against the wall.

“We were going to tell you. It’s just that we’re both quite busy.” Killian elaborates.

Liam hums skeptically. “Well, Elsa is _not_ pleased that you didn’t tell us first.”

Killian laughs a little. “Of course. And where is that wife of yours, Liam?”

“I’m right here!” Elsa all but sings. She comes dancing into view, a big smile on her face as she holds a bowl to her chest. She’s clearly baking something while Liam leans against the kitchen island.

Liam shifts so he gets a better view of Elsa and she gives him a teasing glare. “I expect that you and Emma had a good reason for keeping our little niece or nephew from us all of this time!”

Killian can’t keep his smile off of his face. He turns toward Emma to find she’s finally finished with her phone call. She starts to walk toward him and he heads for her.

“Swan, Elsa’s got a question for you, love.”

She pinches her brow curiously. “What?”

As soon as Killian turns the phone to look at her, Elsa practically screams. “It’s true! It’s true! You’re having a baby!”

Emma looks down at her middle and settles her hand over her belly button, a smile finding her face in the most beautiful fashion. “Yeah. We are.”

She glances up at him and her smile fades a little, but she reaches out to squeeze his arm as soon as she gets close enough.

“I was shopping for baking tonight,” Elsa explains as she sets the bowl down on the counter and leans in close. “And as I was standing at the checkout counter, I saw that magazine, and you know me, Emma, I don’t like them at all, but you guys were on the cover, so I grabbed it and I was curious, so I read it and saw the pictures.” She shakes her head. “Then I bought out the store because I didn’t want anyone else to know.”

Emma laughs at her friend and Killian does too. “Well, I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. We definitely meant to.”

Elsa sighs. “It’s okay. I guess.”

Killian chuckles. He glances over at his wife. “I suppose it’s safe to tell everyone now, isn’t it, darling?”

She tilts her head toward her shoulder and just stares at him for a few seconds. “Yeah. But I don’t want to tell anyone who doesn’t need to know. We can tell friends and family. That’s all.”

He nods. “Very sensible.”

“Bloody hell, my little brother’s going to be a Papa!” Liam clicks his tongue. “I have never been prouder. Congratulations, Killian, Emma.”

“Thank you, brother,” Killian says honestly. “We’re rather excited for the little pirate to join us.”

Elsa laughs lightly. “A little pirate, huh?”

“Aye,” Killian says. “Of course.”

He winks at Elsa and she rolls her eyes.

Emma’s phone goes off then and she smiles apologetically at Liam and Elsa. “Sorry. Gotta take this. Talk later?”

“Yes, of course.” Elsa promises. She smiles at Emma and then Emma walks away from him without a second thought.

Killian sighs as he turns his attention to Liam and Elsa. They seem to see straight through him.

“What’s wrong, Killian?”

He stares after Emma and then turns away. “We were fighting earlier and she’s been so busy we haven’t been able to connect properly since then.”

Both of them get sad looks on their faces. Killian drops his shoulders and runs his fingers through his hair. “Not that I ever can expect her to be free to discuss much of anything. She’s always got something she’s doing.”

Elsa nibbles on her lip and leans closer. “Well, that’s the nature of the job, right?”

“Yeah.” Killian says. “But she’s… she’s also my wife and the mother to our child and I think she needs to be aware of that too.”

With it all out in the open, he closes his eyes and lets out a low groan, shaking his head. “I… I’ve been thinking a lot about Brennan lately, Liam.”

Liam frowns deeply. “Aye. He’s… he’s been around town a lot. We’ve run into each other more than once and it’s been just as uncomfortable every time.”

Killian drops his gaze.

“He’s asked me about you.” Liam says. “And I think he truly does wish to be different. He wants us to be a family.”

Killian scoffs as he looks back up at the face of his brother. Elsa’s gone now, to Killian’s relief.

“That man will never be my family, Liam. I’ve got you and Elsa, Emma, and the babe, and that’s all that counts.”

“Killian, I know initially I was hard on him-” Liam says, and it makes Killian furious.

He gapes at his older brother. “No. Liam, what’s happened to you? I thought we were in agreement that he is the scum of the Earth and doesn’t deserve forgiveness.”

Liam stares back at him in silence. “ _You_ may have thought that, but, perhaps, we were a bit hard on him. He’s been through Hell, Killian. He just wants to make amends.”

“I don’t think so,” Killian says lowly.

“Believe what you’d like,” Liam sighs. “But that man is just as broken as we are.”

Killian’s gaze finds Emma as she paces down the hall and his heart clenches tight. He doubts anyone could be half as broken as he feels right about now.

///

**month twenty-two. hotel, denver, colorado.**

Emma has been on edge all day. As she toes out of her shoes and goes to grab her favorite nightshirt from the duffle bag on the couch, Killian heads straight for the bathroom.

She can’t help but feel a little bad, because they’ve been kind of having their worst off-day since the start of their marriage and she ends up standing beside the bed staring down at her engagement ring before she folds her arms over her chest.

“I need to go to the doctor for an appointment in a week,” Emma says quietly.

Killian sets his toothbrush down on the counter by the sink and wipes his mouth before he turns around and heads for the bed.

“Okay.”

She can sense his anger and it only riles her back up again. She gives him a look. “Are you mad at me?”

Killian shrugs. He heads around the bed and peels back the sheets.

“I’m not playing this game with you right now,” she tells him. “Tell me what’s going on.”

He takes a deep breath and stares back at her. “You weren’t at the show tonight.”

Emma drops her shoulders at his statement. “I’m busy, Killian. It’s what happens when a band starts to blow up.”

Killian’s brow creases worriedly. “You’re beyond stressed because of it, Emma. Do you know how bad that is for the baby?”

Emma rolls her eyes and drops her hands to her sides. “I’m just doing my job!”

“Okay. Then maybe it’s time we hire some help. You’re pregnant, Emma, you can’t keep up with all of this.”

She grits her teeth. “Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t make me suddenly incapable of doing things.”

Her husband doesn’t look angry. He just looks sad and frustrated.

He lifts his eyebrows. “You’re not sleeping well and you spend your days looking like a wild animal. I just want you to be healthy and for the baby to be healthy.”

“Since when are you my doctor?” Emma snaps.

She can feel her blood rushing in her ears and she knows she’s going to need to settle down, and she knows he’s just trying to care for her, but it’s ridiculous.

He loses it then, too. His eyes widen and he shakes his head. “I was at the one appointment you actually let me attend a few weeks ago and that’s what the man said to us. What do you want me to tell you, Emma? I’m just tired of watching you run yourself down like you are.”

“I’m not running myself down,” she groans. “I’m doing my job.”

“And what are you going to do when you have the baby?” he asks. Her heart skips a beat. “You know babies need constant attention and care.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “What? Do you think I’ll just abandon our kid like my parents did to me?”

“No!” he argues. “Bloody hell, Swan, I just want you to realize that you’re doing far too much for one person.”

Emma grits her teeth and clenches her fingers into fists at her sides. She wants to be right and she will be right. “I don’t need help.”

Killian shakes his head in disbelief. He starts laughing and tosses his hands up into the air. “Of course you don’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He steps around the bed, finally making his way toward her.

“You don’t ever need help. You’re always trying to be strong enough to handle it all on your own. And you are.” He pauses. Emma’s heart starts racing faster. “It was just like this at the beginning. You didn’t let me in because you didn’t want me to see past those walls of yours. Sometimes I think you forget that I’m your husband and I desire nothing more than to help you.”

Emma shakes her head. “It’s not like that.”

“No?” he asks. “Okay. Whatever you say, Swan.”

Killian holds up his hands and steps back from her. Emma stares at him with her chest heaving just so. She grits her teeth.

“Fine! Do you want me to go home? I’ll go home.”

“Fine,” Killian argues. “Go home. If it’ll even mean anything for you. Maybe while you’re there you’ll find someone who can carry some of the load for you.”

Emma, feeling far too worked up to stay with him any longer, goes to grab her stuff from the living room portion of the hotel room. She rips her things up from the counter in the bathroom and Killian just watches her in silence.

“Emma.”

She feels tears burning in her eyes and she doesn’t turn back before she heads to the front door. She opens it and stands there, biting at the inner flesh of her cheek.

She doesn’t dare turn around, because she knows he’ll be easier to run back to if she does, and she needs to be right even if she’s wrong.

“I’ll let you know when I land.”


	9. Chapter 9

nine.

**month twenty-three. tour bus, denver, colorado.**

Killian wakes with a jolt.

He hadn’t slept well and he’d ended up coming to the bus to sleep because the big king sized one in the hotel room was just too much for him, especially since it smelt like his wife and their argument still rang in his ears.

It still does, even now, as he’s staring up at the top of his bunk. She’d texted him that she’d landed hours ago, but it feels like an eternity, and he wishes that they hadn’t separated on such poor terms.

They’ll be in Colorado for a few more days before they take off again and it means today, they’re going on television, and he probably looks like he’s been hit by a bus.

Killian finds his cell phone and discovers that he’s got no messages from Emma waiting for him. He does have several from the band, all demanding to know where he is, and there are a couple missed calls as well.

He dials Robin, because he figures out of anyone in the band, he’s the only one he’ll be able to handle in his current state.

“Mate, where the hell are you?” Robin asks. “We’re on television in fifteen minutes.”

Killian furrows his brow. “What?”

“Emma sent the email to us describing the coming week just last night. Didn’t you read it? Didn’t she tell you herself?”

He fumbles out of his bunk and runs his hand through his hair as he curses under his breath. “No!”

Robin is silent for a beat while Killian slides his feet into his shoes. He grabs his guitar from the couch and rushes off of the bus, heading for the front of the hotel.

“What happened?” Robin asks, finally.

Killian growls a little. “We had a fight last night and she went home. Have you lot left the hotel yet?”

“No, we’re waiting on you.” Robin tells him. “If you don’t want to do this, it’s fine, Killian. I understand.”

Killian hurries toward the lobby and shakes his head. “No. No. It’s fine. This is work. I have to leave my personal life behind where it comes to the band.”

“That’s difficult to do when your wife’s the manager, isn’t it?”

The question rattles around in his brain as he enters the lobby. He spots the guys standing in an awkward clump and lowers his phone without answering it.

///

**month twenty-three. studio, denver, colorado.**

He’s feeling pretty off as he stands in the cold studio with his guitar strapped around him. The guys are with him, with their instruments, and they’ve been told that they should perform their single.

The manager of the news station is a fan, and stands watching. She steps up to him with a furrowed brow. “Where’s your manager? I’d spoken with her on the phone yesterday.”

“Ah,” Killian hesitates, glancing down at his guitar neck. He shakes his head. “She’s fallen a bit ill. Had to go back home for some rest.”

The woman frowns. “That’s too bad.”

“Aye,” Killian agrees. He forces a smile. “I’m sure she’ll be fine after some time.”

They play their single and then they get interviewed by the morning anchors, who are infatuated with the band as a whole. The woman at the desk laughs with him as he elaborates stories, telling her answers as quickly as she asks questions.

“So you’re married, right?” she asks Killian toward the end of their time.

He wiggles his eyebrows, smiling to himself. “That I am, love.”

“You married your wife Emma as strangers,” the anchor explains, “which seems _crazy_ to most people, right?”

Killian chuckles. “Aye. I’m still not quite sure why we went ahead and did it. But I’m glad we did.”

He’s thinking about their fight, and about their little one, and his heart aches, but he has to smile regardless.

The anchor hums. “I watched the show. I’m a huge fan of the band and of your relationship with your wife. I wish you the best, Killian.”

“Well, thank you so much.”

The woman smiles softly. “Have any advice for newlyweds out there?”

Killian raises an eyebrow thoughtfully. “I’m no marriage expert, but I’d say be patient. And be understanding. Never assume the worst of your partner.” He toys with his wedding ring as he speaks and he takes a deep breath. “At the end of the day you’re hopefully spending the rest of your life with your best friend, so remember that and treat them that way.”

///

**month twenty-three. hotel, denver, colorado.**

After lunch out with the band, Killian returns to his hotel room and sits down on the bed. He stares at Emma’s side and his heart feels heavier than it has all day.

More than anything, he just _misses_ her, and he wishes she were here. He wishes he hadn’t been such a stubborn arse and hadn’t fought with her over something as silly as her work, because he knows this is what she wants to do and there’s no fighting her over it.

Killian grabs his phone and sighs at the image of her that he’d taken one evening as they sat out by the pool. She’s gorgeous, with her hair tied up and her smile bright. She’s glancing down at her middle, her left hand pressed against her belly, and he can all but hear her laughter even now.

He doesn’t have any texts, calls, or emails from her, and he isn’t sure how he wants to even try to talk to her, to coax her into coming back to him, because their fight is still so raw and fresh.

But, he presses her name in his phone and lifts his device to his ear. Her phone rings once, twice, three times, before it goes to voicemail, and he curses under his breath.

Killian tosses his phone aside and presses his hands against his face.

There’s a knock at his door just then and he groans. He pulls himself to his feet and carries himself to the door, finding Robin standing on the other side when he checks the peep hole.

Killian has to steel himself as he opens up the door and as soon as he does, Robin smiles softly at him. “Hey, Killian.”

“What’s wrong?” Killian asks.

Robin gives him a look, and then tosses his thumb over his shoulder. “Nothing. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going out for a beer. It has been far too long since we have spent any time together as friends and I think you could use some escape.”

Killian hesitates for just a second before he nods. “Very well.”

///

**month twenty-three. bar, denver, colorado.**

“So, cheers to us,” Robin says, grinning wide. He holds out his beer and Killian allows him to clink glasses with him. “We’ve made it a month on this tour and we haven’t eaten each other’s faces off.”

Killian chuckles. He sips at his drink and nods. “Quite the accomplishment.”

Robin sets his pint down and laughs softly. “Truth be told, I was worried we’d struggle through it, but we’ve sold out nearly every night thus far.”

Killian lifts his eyebrows in agreement. “Aye. I’m blown away by it all.” He shakes his head. “Bloody hell, Robin. How did we get here?”

His friend laughs. “Mate, if I knew, I’d tell you. One minute we’re slumming in the city, the next we’ve played to thousands and been on television and radio shows.”

Killian stares down at his beer and licks his lips. “It’s all due to Emma.”

They’re both quiet and Killian takes a deep breath through his nose before turning to Robin again. “She and I have been arguing over how much she’s worked herself as our manager.”

It seems silly, thinking about it now, over beers with Robin, but his friend shakes his head and offers him a conciliatory look. “She’s pregnant. I don’t think it’s wrong of you to expect she slow down a little.”

Killian’s eyes widen. “Exactly! Have I gone mad, Robin? She’s so bloody stubborn sometimes that I have my doubts as to whether or not I’ve ever truly gotten through to her.”

Robin shakes his head. “No, Killian, I wouldn’t worry about that. You and Emma… perhaps you just need a bit of space to clear your heads.”

“Aye. I suppose so.” Killian reaches up to rub his hand over the back of his head. “But I miss her like mad and she hasn’t answered her phone when I’ve called.”

“That is troubling,” Robin sighs. “But what can you do? You’ve said your part and she’s said hers, and if she wants the distance, then so be it. She’ll talk when she’s ready.”

The logic makes sense to him, but it does nothing to soothe the ache in his chest, nor the feeling of loss lodged in his throat. He just wants to know she’s not angry with him any longer, to know that she doesn’t feel as if he’s the one that pushed too hard, because he certainly does feel as if it’s his fault that she’s gone right now.

Robin’s phone begins to ring and he gives it a curious look. “One moment. I’d better take this.”

He stands to answer the call outside and Killian sits in silence, sipping at his beer.

When Robin returns, he has a dopey grin on his face, and a confused look in his eye. “Well, this is rather exciting.”

“What?”

“Regina’s _here_. In Denver.” He laughs. “She flew all this way.”

Killian can’t help but grin happily for his friend. “Well, you’d best go get her from the airport, then.”

Robin hesitates. “Are you certain? We were having a beer and-”

“Go!” Killian laughs. “It has been two _months_ , Locksley, and you deserve every minute you can get with your lady.”

His friend still hesitates, staring at him, then at the door, and back again.

“Get out of here, Robin, or I swear to God I’ll force you out the door myself.” Killian says, rising to his feet so he can faux threaten him.

Robin gets a giddy look on his face. “Okay. Alright. So long as you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

He’s lying straight through his teeth, but it isn’t like there’s any healing for him to be had, even in a crowded bar filled with alcohol and sports games.

Killian watches Robin go, and then he sighs as he turns his attention to his beer. “Well, here’s to a lovesick heart.”

///

**month twenty-three. venue, denver, colorado.**

Killian’s feeling just this side of tipsy when he shows up at the venue. He’s only a few minutes early to the show, and the only member of the band not outside schmoozing their lady is Jefferson, who sits at the piano backstage and plays a melancholy melody.

“Hey, look who finally decided to give me company.” He teases, arching an eyebrow as he continues to play.

Killian chuckles under his breath. He crosses the room to the piano and slumps down on the bench beside the man who continues to play. He watches for a moment, then presses his fingers to the keys as well.

Jefferson picks up on what he’s doing and they start to play a dueling tune, something they haven’t done in quite some time.

“So… Emma’s in Storybrooke.”

“Aye.”

“Miss her yet?”

“Of course.”

Missing her consumes his every thought and action, he thinks, but he doesn’t tell Jefferson that he’s blaming himself for her leaving him in the middle of the night. He can’t. It isn’t Jefferson’s burden to bear anyway.

“Show should be packed tonight,” Jefferson says. “I heard it sold out a few hours ago.”

“Huh.”

They continue to play, but Killian lifts his hands from the keys and sets them in his lap. Jefferson finishes his riff and then does the same, turning toward him.

“Need anything, Killian?” Jefferson asks. “Can I help in any way?”

“No, no,” Killian insists. He forces a smile. “I’ll be fine. I just need to play tonight, I think.”

It’s then that the guys burst into the room, all hearty laughter and loud voices. Killian stands and raises his eyebrows at them.

“You lads are cutting it close, don’t you think?”

Will rolls his eyes. He comes to Killian’s side and claps his shoulder. He’s got a wide smile and there’s light, sheer happiness, in his eyes. “Belle’s going to be at the show tonight and I think I can finally understand why you love having Emma out there so much.”

Killian softens, feeling happy for his friend.

“It’s only been two months but I guess it’s different when you’re on the road, yeah?” Will adds.

He nods. “Aye.”

His heart sinks and he’s hit with the realization that he’s been a bit selfish as well as a bully this whole time. No wonder Emma’s left him.

“Well, we’d best get going, then.” Killian sighs.

///

Killian looks out into the crowd with a false smile upon his lips.

He feels, oddly, empty, and he wishes he could fix it, somehow. But he knows Emma needs time and he needs time too, with everything he’s been trying to think through still rattling around in his mind.

“I just want to publicly congratulate my best friend, Robin, on his accomplishment.” Killian says, smirking at him. “He finally got a high score in Mario Brothers last night.”

Everyone in the room cheers. Killian winks at Robin as Will pounds on the drum a quick beat of comic effect.

“So I’d like to serenade you tonight, brother,” Killian says. “With a song I usually sing for someone else entirely.”

///

The back room is rather rowdy after the show, and it’s because over half of the band has their significant other with them and they’re all chatting about how _amazing_ it all was.

Killian, meanwhile, sits by Jefferson on the piano bench again and they play a slow tune, trying to temper the mood.

“Killian,” Belle says, her delicate hand settled over his shoulder.

He turns, forcing himself to smile as he stares up at the sweet brunette. Scarlet stands behind her, clearly having been dragged to the piano for whatever Belle has to say.

“Hi, Belle,” Killian smiles. He rises to his feet and he embraces her warmly.

When they pull away from each other, Belle takes a soft breath, a knowing look in her eyes. “You were great tonight.”

“Thank you, love,” he murmurs, keeping a smile on his face forcefully.

Belle looks around. “Where’s Emma?”

Killian inhales deeply and his stomach twists. “She went home. She wasn’t feeling like being on the road much any longer.”

Belle frowns. “Oh. Well, maybe I’ll see her when I go back home.”

Killian shrugs wordlessly. Belle turns to Will and takes his hand.

“Well, I just wanted to thank you for the show and say hello. We’ll be flying out tomorrow morning, so I had hoped I could spend some time with Will.” She grins up at him and Killian can’t help but smile at the sight of Will Scarlet melted by the petite frame beside him. “I guess I’ll see you in New York.”

Killian nods, though the thought of New York has him thinking of Emma and he almost feels as if he’ll never get out of Colorado at this point.

He’s screwed himself over and fighting with his wife over something so delicate in her life, something that gave her work and something to make her feel valued, was a huge mistake.

It’s probably the biggest mistake he’s made in terms of their marriage. And he doesn’t know how to fix it- not if she won’t answer her phone.

The thought of Emma being so far away and ignoring him makes his smile fall as Belle and Will walk away, and he finds Robin and Regina heading out as well. Whale and Ruby are already long gone, probably making out in a back alley someplace.

Killian turns to Jefferson at the piano and sighs. “Well, Jeff, it’s just us now.”

Jefferson shrugs. “One more song?”

Killian presses his fingers to the keys of the piano in response.

///

**month twenty-three. hotel, denver, colorado.**

The minute he crawls into bed, he breaks down.

He’s surprised it took this long for the tears to come, and he’s not surprised in the least that they have. His heart aches as he presses his palms over his eyes, digging into them so that he doesn’t have to feel the tears coming free.

He curses himself, for the most part, because he’s _miserable_ because of what he said to his wife just last night.

After he removes his hands from his face, Killian finds his phone and discovers it barren. He presses Emma’s name and drags his phone to his ear.

It rings once, twice, and then goes to voicemail.

“Hey, Swan,” he says, voice low and cracking. “I, um, I miss you. I hope everything’s going okay.” He pauses. “Gods, love, I just- I’m sorry for what I said. It was a mistake to even argue with you. You’re strong and smart and I believe in you, no matter what you decide to do.” Again, he pauses. He takes his hand over his head. “Anyway, I’m rambling now. I love you. I hope to talk to you soon.”

Killian barely rests that night, knowing he has to get onto the bus in the morning, and he’s half-desperate to find his phone going off. It doesn’t and he’s not surprised, but it still makes his heart ache.

///

**month twenty-three. tour bus, denver, colorado.**

The bus barely leaves the hotel in Denver when Killian’s phone goes off. It’s David’s number. His heart leaps from his chest as he lies in his bunk and he answers immediately.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Killian,” David’s voice sounds strained. He pauses. “Um… I don’t know how to…”

Killian furrows his brow. “What’s going on, mate? Is it Emma?”

David sighs heavily and it only increases the tension in his gut.

“What is it, David?” Killian demands, raising his voice just a little.

“I’m not sure how else to tell you this, but Emma’s in the hospital.”


	10. Chapter 10

ten.

**month twenty-three. tour bus, denver, colorado.**

Killian’s chest aches heavily and he feels like the wind has been knocked straight out of his lungs. He closes his eyes and tries to keep from losing control, but he feels it already happening.

“Um… is she alright? Is the baby…”

“Everything’s fine. They’re both fine.” David soothes him. “Emma’s with the doctor right now. Otherwise I’d let you talk to her.” He pauses. “I’m sorry this happened. She was over for lunch and she didn’t look good. Like she hadn’t slept in a while. And then she just… fainted.”

Killian feels tears burning at his eyes because he isn’t even there to help comfort her. He needs to be. “I’ll be on the first flight I can catch. Tell her I’m on my way.”

“Will do, Killian.”

Killian hangs up his phone and slings out of the bunk, scrambling to get to the front of the bus. “Stop! I’ve got to get off.”

///

**month twenty-three. hospital, storybrooke, maine.**

Killian arrives at Storybrooke’s hospital at nearly eight at night. He’s exhausted from a restless few nights and he hasn’t eaten in _hours_ , but he’s finally here, in Maine, in Storybrooke, so he finds himself reinvigorated simply at the fact that he’s in the same proximity as his Swan.

He all but runs inside.

His heart races and he’s on the verge of tears, has been all day just thinking about how he wasn’t _here_ for Emma when she needed him. How he was the one that sent her home, how far he’d pushed and how far she’d taken it. How he hasn’t heard a word from her lips in just about forty-eight hours.

Killian goes to the first nurse he finds and shakes his head. “I’m…”

“Your wife is just down the hall,” she says on a smile. “I’ll take you to her.”

He doesn’t even bother asking, because being on a television show and being in a band kind of does make it easier for him to believe that this nurse could know who he is.

He feels breathless as he walks with the nurse and his tears start burning closer to the edge. He glances down at himself and realizes that he hadn’t even changed before coming here, and he’s carrying his duffel bag, having come straight from the airport.

Liam doesn’t even know he’s come, but he must have some idea, especially it being that Emma’s in the hospital.

When the nurse stops outside of a room, she smiles at him. “Okay. She’s just inside.”

Killian glances at the door and back at the woman before him. “Thank you.”

She nods. “Congratulations, by the way.”

He manages a smile as his heart swells at the mere thought of his little one. “Thank you.”

Killian waits for the nurse to leave before he enters the room. He drags his fingers through his hair and blinks, releasing just one tear the second he sets eyes on his wife.

She’s lying in her hospital bed, her fingers resting over her middle, and she’s connected to the heart monitor and an IV. Her eyes are closed and her hair is up above her head as if she were frustrated with it.

But seeing her, seeing how angelic she looks, with the glow of pregnancy in her cheeks, makes his heart stop. She’s somehow his and he doesn’t know how he ever thought he could let her go.

Killian finds a chair beside her bed and releases a heavy breath as he sinks down into it. He sets his duffel bag down on the floor and licks his lips as he leans forward, leaning his elbows onto his knees.

He folds his hands together as he stares at Emma and he wants to speak with her, but seeing her asleep like this makes him feel better.

Her head turns to him in her sleep and she suddenly opens her eyes. For a moment, she appears confused, but then a tiny smile fills her lips and she reaches out toward him with her hand.

“Hi,” she whispers.

Killian grabs her hand and kisses her palm as tears start to fall. He manages to smile at her. “Hey.”

He holds her hand against his lips and they study each other for a few long moments and his heart feels like it could jump straight out of his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he says, sitting up straight again. He takes a shaky breath. He’s still holding Emma’s hand and he doesn’t think he’ll ever let it go. “I’m sorry for what I said and I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I should have been here with you. I shouldn’t have had to be hundreds of miles away on a tour bus-”

She shakes her head.

“It’s not your fault.” Emma says and tears are in her eyes, too, as she speaks lowly. “It’s mine. I should have listened to you. I was just too stubborn to.”

Killian just stares at her. “Emma.”

She pulls her hand away from his and reaches up to cup his cheek. He leans into her gentle touch and she traces her thumb over the scar beneath his eye.

“I’m okay,” she promises. “We’re both okay. I just fainted and the doctors want me here overnight to monitor me in case. They were reading my blood pressure as being a little too high, I guess.” Emma takes a breath and a smile finds her lips. “I saw the baby again. He’s getting big.”

Killian searches her eyes and narrows his. “He?”

Emma’s smile spreads and she laughs, nodding. “Yeah. It’s a boy. You were right.”

He laughs once, then reaches for her hand and kisses it again. His tears come full force now, streaking down his cheeks as he stands up and leans over the side of Emma’s hospital bed.

He kisses her soundly, then smiles as he nuzzles her nose. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I-”

“Shhh,” she whispers as their eyes meet. “It’s okay, Killian. It was my fault that I ended up here. You were right about a lot of things.”

For a moment, he stares at her, and then he leans back, trailing his gaze down to her middle. He presses a hand against it and then kisses Emma’s forehead.

“So, it’s a boy.”

She hums. “And he’s fine. The doctor said he’s growing really well and I think I felt him move a little bit earlier.”

Killian grins at the idea. “That’s good, then.” He meets Emma’s eyes. “We’ll have to start thinking of names.”

Emma laughs and he sees pure joy in her eyes, a sight that produces joy in his own heart. “Yeah.”

“He’s going to be a handsome lad,” Killian shakes his head. “No thanks to the both of us.”

His wife rolls her eyes. She swats his chest and he just beams at her before kissing her sweetly. “I love you, Emma Swan.”

Emma sighs. “And I love you, Killian Jones.”

///

**month twenty-three. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

After a night of poor sleep in a hospital chair, Killian carries his duffel bag and holds Emma’s hand as they walk up the walkway to their house.

She’s been quiet since she was discharged from the hospital, after having her agree that she’ll rest and make healthier choices. He can tell she hadn’t slept well, either, because despite his presence beside her, he’d watched her go in and out of sleep most of the night.

As soon as he opens the front door, he relaxes, because it’s _home_ and he’s missed it more than he’d thought he had. Buddy is quick to find him, yipping and trotting straight for him excitedly.

He chuckles and barely closes the door behind them before he drops to his knees and accepts happy licks and kisses from his pup. He drops his bag beside him and scratches behind Buddy’s ears.

“Hey, Buddy,” Killian says in greeting. “Have you been good for Uncle Liam and Aunt Elsa? Hm?”

He laughs when Buddy just wants to keep giving his face a good licking. Killian forces Buddy to stop when he rises up again. Buddy pants happily at his feet and gives a bark of excitement.

“Yes, I know, the whole family’s back together,” Killian laughs. He turns to Emma, finding her laughing. “It’s so nice to be home.”

Emma nods. She starts to walk toward the stairs. “I’m gonna take a shower because I feel like I’ve been in the hospital for a day.”

Killian hums. “Well…”

She laughs and he winks at her.

“I’ll prepare something for lunch. I assume Elsa and Liam are off at work.”

Emma sighs. “Yeah. They’ll be back at dinnertime. I told David to tell them what was going on so they know where I was last night.”

Killian nods in understanding. “Well, you go shower up and I’ll bring lunch to the bedroom.”

She looks at his bag on the floor and he sees her reaching out to take it, but he shakes his head as he goes to grab it instead.

“No, no, Swan, I’ve got it. You just got home from the hospital. Just go have a shower.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “Killian, I was just in the hospital for a little high blood pressure. I’m not going to break.”

Killian stares at her, soaking in the way she looks right now, and he feels weary, giving his head a slight shake. “I love you and I- gods, Emma, I was so scared.”

Her lighthearted smile fades and a crease fills her brow as she steps forward until she reaches him.

“Hey,” she murmurs, “I’m okay. I’m home now. You heard the doctor. Everything’s fine.”

Killian forces a smile and shakes his head again. “I know. I hadn’t heard from you in a day and the next thing I heard was you were in the…”

He chokes on the words and tears fill his eyes as he relives the moment he’d received the phone call. He can still see her lying in that hospital bed, can still feel _fear_ tangible in his veins, as if he’s still wondering if her life is at risk or if she’s going to be okay- if their _child_ would be okay.

Emma steps into him. Her arms wrap around his neck and she buries her face there as his arms tighten around her. He drops his lips to the top of her head and closes his eyes as he breathes her in as deep as he can.

“I’m here,” she promises him. “I’m okay.”

///

It feels like they hadn’t ever left.

Emma, freshly showered and redressed, sits with Killian on their bed. Buddy curls up at Killian’s side, much to his delight, and they eat grilled cheese sandwiches and drink milk as they watch TV.

It’s almost as if they haven’t been touring for over a month and are still in the middle of a massive national commitment. It’s almost as if it’s just always been them sitting at home, cozy and warm, all of the cares gone from their shoulders.

“Well, that’s a bloody mistake,” Killian scoffs at the screen as soon as the episode ends.

Emma chuckles. “I was right, though, so you know what that means?”

Her teeth graze along her lower lip as she turns to her husband. He raises a wild eyebrow and she lifts her feet.

“Foot massage, please.”

Killian laughs. He shuts off the television and slides down the bed, until he’s sitting at her feet. He takes one of her feet into his hands and begins to knead it, producing a soft sigh from her lips.

She hums. “You’ve still got it.”

“I don’t think I could have ever lost it, love,” he teases, that eyebrow still sky high.

Buddy jumps off of the bed and goes padding out of the room. Emma presses her hands over her middle.

“I think I need to stay home,” Emma says. “I’ll ask for help with the band’s stuff for a little while and I’ll focus on staying healthy for the baby.”

Killian releases a sigh. He frowns a little, but nods. “Okay.” He pauses and stops massaging her foot. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” she promises. Emma’s heart aches with even the idea of being apart again. “When do you have to leave?”

“Well, the next show’s tomorrow night. I can stay tonight but I have to leave first thing.”

Emma nods. “Yeah.”

Killian crawls away from her feet and moves up her body so he’s hovering over her. He smiles in spite of their conversation. “We’d probably best make the best of our time together, then.”

She hums as her arms loop around his neck. Her smile curves on it’s own. “Probably.”

///

Liam and Elsa come home at the same time, and it’s what rouses Killian as he’s dozing off beside Emma in their bed. Her head is against his chest and his arm is wrapped around her, holding her tight.

Sighing heavily, Killian tickles his fingers down Emma’s arm. He kisses her forehead.

“Emma, they’re back,” he murmurs.

She shifts a little and groans, burrowing her face into his neck. “I don’t want to get up.”

He chuckles. “Well. I don’t think I want either of them walking in on us like this.”

So, begrudgingly, Emma peels away from him. She just buries herself under the blankets as Killian removes himself from bed. He dresses and then grabs Emma’s shirt from the floor. He settles it on the bed and takes the comforter from her head.

Her hair sticks to her forehead and she winces up at him, and all he can envision is their little boy being half as stubborn and sleepy as she is right now after a nap. He drops a kiss to the top of her head.

“I’ll be downstairs.”

Emma sighs. “Okay.”

There’s a moment where he just soaks in her beauty, and then he leaves her be, heading out and shutting the door behind him.

Killian jogs down the stairs and listens as Elsa laughs at something his older brother had said. It makes Killian smile to himself.

“Killian!” Elsa suddenly gasps.

He barely gets a chance to see her when she’s running into him, giving him a warm hug in greeting. Killian laughs. “Hi, Elsa. How are you?”

She pulls away from him and sighs. “Emma was so sad when she came back. I’m so glad you came back to her.”

Killian smiles softly at the comment from his sister-in-law, then finds Liam approaching from behind her. Liam steps to him and they embrace warmly.

“I’m glad to see you, Killian,” Liam says.

Liam claps Killian on the back a few times and Killian closes his eyes tight. After everything he’s been through in these past few weeks, this hug means the entire world to him.

“It’s good to be home again, Liam.”

When they part, Liam stares at him and then glances over at his wife. “Well, I guess we’d better set the table for four tonight.”

Elsa grins widely. “How exciting.” She pauses, then furrows her brow. “Is Emma back from the hospital? We were so worried about her.”

“Aye,” Killian says. “We were napping a bit. It’s been a rough few days for her.” Killian glances up the stairs when he hears the door open and turns back to Elsa with a smirk. “And we’ve got some news about the baby.”

“Oh?” Elsa’s eyes widen and so does her smile.

As soon as Emma comes to the first floor, she has a pleasant smile on her face. “Hey you guys.”

“Are you feeling better?” Liam asks.

She nods. “Yeah. The doctor just wants me to rest more and eat healthier.”

Elsa and Liam both bob their heads.

Emma settles her hand over her middle as her stomach gurgles. “Speaking of eating, I should probably do that.”

Elsa laughs. “Yes. Let’s make some dinner.”

///

Emma finishes off two plates of the dinner that Elsa had prepared so diligently before finally feeling full.

Conversation has been light. Mostly, questions about tour, and about how Killian’s doing, and she’s just happy to get to share a meal at her husband’s side, because she knows things are going to be different for a while.

“You said you had some news about the baby,” Elsa says as they sit there with empty plates.

Emma glances up at Killian and he grins at her. “Aye. Swan, would you care to share?”

She smiles and Killian takes her hand under the table. “Okay. While I was at the hospital, they had a look at the baby, and they told me that… it’s a boy.”

Elsa gets the most excited look on her face that Emma has ever seen. She and Liam exchange glances and then high-five, something that makes Emma laugh out of confusion.

“We were right,” Elsa explains. “We were just talking about it the other night and we were right.”

Killian laughs. “So was I. I thought it’d be a boy.”

Emma’s heart feels light as she watches her husband elaborate on about how excited he is that he’s going to have a son and she starts to feel tears in her eyes, but she doesn’t let them go.

She leans her head against his shoulder as the four of them sit in the living room later, after dishes and more conversation, and she tries to stay awake as they watch a movie, but she ends up falling asleep.

She wakes up as Killian sets her down in bed and she smiles up at him. Her fingers press against his cheek. “Thank you.”

He hums. “You fell straight asleep. I don’t think you even saw a minute of it.”

She nods wordlessly and Killian kisses her hand, then her forehead. “It’s alright. You’re tired.”

Emma watches Killian as he gets ready for bed and then when he lies down beside her, she curls up against him. He sets his alarm and the idea that they only have a few hours left makes her curl even closer.

Killian’s hand presses against the side of her baby bump and he kisses her forehead again. “I’m going to miss you so bloody much. _Both_ of you.”

Emma closes her eyes and swallows the lump in her throat. “There’s just a month left. We’ll have to Facetime more.”

Killian is quiet. “Aye.”

“The tour will be over sooner than you think,” she whispers, and she’s not sure for whose benefit she’s saying it for.

They lie there in silence for a few long minutes and she almost thinks that he’s asleep, but then he says, “Charlie.”

Emma feels his fingers warm against her belly and she smiles against the skin of his neck.

“Yeah.” She moves so she can look down at her bump. “That’s a good name. Charlie.”

The name resonates within her chest and she feels at peace with it, so much so that she smiles wider as she swipes her thumb over her middle in a soothing circle. The child within her stirs a little.

“I love it.”

Killian hums. “Charlie needs rest, then, Swan.”

Emma can’t help but smile a little wider. “Okay.”

///

Killian gets dressed in the dark quiet of his bedroom and gathers up what things he needs.

Emma’s asleep, pleasantly curled up on his side of the bed, her hands tucked under his pillow.

After his alarm had gone off, he’d retreated for the shower, and had come back to find this sight before him, his wife with her hair spread wildly on his pillow, and her swelled middle providing the most pleasant sight under the thin sheet after she must have kicked the comforter away.

His shoes on, Killian approaches the side of the bed and drops down to his knees so he can study Emma’s face. He lifts his fingers carefully to her face and brushes back her hair, then rubs his hand down her arm.

“Emma,” he says, keeping his voice gentle and low. “Darling, I’ve got to go.”

Her eyes open and she blinks a few times. She furrows her brow and glances up at the alarm clock. “Why did you let me fall asleep again?”

Killian shakes his head. “Sleep is important.”

Emma presses her lips together and sighs through her nose. She drops a hand to her middle and suddenly laughs.

“What is it?”

“He wants to say goodbye, I think,” Emma murmurs. She takes his hand and presses Killian’s against the curve of her belly.

Below his hand, he feels a little bit of acrobatics, and it makes a smile spread wide on his face. “He’s an athlete.”

Emma laughs and he can see tears in her eyes, just as there are tears in his. Killian boosts himself up to his feet again after the moment passes and his son stops moving.

“I’ll let you know when I land,” Killian tells her. “And I’ll call before the show as long as you’re awake.”

She nods. “Okay.”

Killian leans down and kisses her. It’s bittersweet, because their time together had been minimal at best, and he so wishes he could have had more of it. He leans his forehead against hers for a moment.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He moves away from her and drops a kiss to her bellybutton, whispering just loud enough for her to hear, “Be good for your mum, Charlie. I love you.”

With one last look at Emma, Killian gathers up his things and leaves.


	11. Chapter 11

eleven.

**month twenty-three. tour bus, NYC.**

“He’s kicking like crazy. Look.” Emma turns the camera to her belly and he watches, fascinated, as his son presses against his mother with reckless abandon.

Killian laughs. “Charlie, what on Earth are you up to?”

Emma giggles as she strokes over her middle. “Charlie, Mommy’s trying to talk to Daddy. Let me breathe for a minute.”

After a second, the movement slows, and Emma sighs. She returns the camera to her face and sighs. “Okay. That’s better. So you just got to New York.”

He hums and glances out the window behind him. “Aye. And we’ll be spending a few days here, I think. Back-to-back final shows.”

Emma nods. “Yep.” She moves, throwing something into a pile on the bed. “I’ll drive down tomorrow with the girls. They’re all really excited.”

Killian beams at her. “Aye. Well, so are the lads. They’ve been jittery this whole week.”

His heart aches, though, because as much as he’s happy that she’ll be coming to him soon, he wishes she’d come sooner.

Over the past month, things have been rough, but they’ve been smoother than they had been before. With Emma agreeing to rest and to manage only certain aspects of the band, while handing off some work to Ruby, Belle, and Regina, she’s been much happier than she was before.

He loves seeing how she glows, even in just the camera of her phone or computer. Sometimes he calls her up just to tell her that before a show and she just rolls her eyes at him.

Once or twice, they’d had a full date by talking on the phone, and they both had themselves some macaroni and cheese with hot chocolate while talking about the baby’s room and the latest gossip around town.

And it’s not _impossible_ , after all, this long distance relationship. It hurts, often at night when he’s trying to sleep and all he can think of is how Emma’s hair smells right before bed when she’s curled up under his arm. And sometimes he catches a fleeting glimpse of blonde at shows and thinks it’s her, only to be reminded with a harsh sting to his chest that she is at home and he’s on the road.

But it’s nearly over and they’ll be together again in less than forty-eight hours. He can hardly wait to hold her in his arms and to kiss her senseless, to press his palm over her growing belly and murmur greetings to Charlie, to remind him that he’s _here_ and he’s not running away from him.

Emma’s wearing her glasses today and her hair is up. She nibbles on her lip as she stands there, looking beyond him, clearly worrying over her to-do list.

“Tomorrow’s our anniversary,” he says. “Did you know that?”

Emma returns her eyes to him and she laughs. “Yeah. It’s kind of hard to forget, babe.”

“Well,” Killian raises his eyebrows. “It’s been a chaotic few months.”

Emma exhales and she sits on the bed, frowning a little. “We were supposed to get married again.”

Killian’s heart squeezes and he nods. “I know.” He swallows. “But, you know, it’ll be better to do it when Charlie’s born. That way, you can wear whichever dress you want and he’ll even be there to see it.”

Emma smiles a little at the idea. “He could wear a little suit and match you.”

Killian chuckles. “We’ll both be dashingly handsome.”

Emma laughs with him. “Yeah. I’m sure you will.” She gazes at him for a few moments. “Well, I need to go. I’m supposed to watch Rosie and Leo for Mary Margaret.”

“Okay,” Killian sighs. “I so wish you were here tonight. We could go to Coney Island and eat junk food and play games. The guys want to head over there around five.”

Emma smiles, a bittersweet thing. “That does sound like fun. You should go. Have fun.”

Killian nods. “Alright. I won’t enjoy it as much as I would if you were here.”

His wife rolls her eyes. “You know you don’t have to pretend I make everything better. I’d probably get tired and cranky.”

He laughs. “Emma Swan, I don’t think you know me if you think I don’t love everything about you. Even your faults.”

Her eyelashes flutter against her rosy cheeks and she speechlessly shakes her head.

“Well, I look forward to seeing you when you come.” Killian says. “Give Charlie a kiss for me.”

Emma laughs and he sees her eyes flit downward. “Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too, Swan.” Killian smiles.

He watches Emma for a second longer before the feed cuts out and he sets his phone down on the couch beside him, his heart feeling equally light and heavy all at once. He stares out the window at the city and he can hear the guys being rowdy outside.

“Jones! Get your arse out here!” Will calls as he opens the door. “We’re playing basketball with Jeff’s hat and Robin’s silly socks Regina sent.”

Killian rolls his eyes and gets up from his stupor, heading out as quickly as he can.

///

**month twenty-three. hotel, NYC.**

Emma smiles excitedly to herself as she walks up to the hotel the guys are staying at for their temporary stay in the city.

She had to pull a lot of strings to make this happen, but she’d wanted to do this because she misses her husband with everything in her and not getting to see him though they were hours apart was like torturing herself.

It had been hard, yes, mostly because she’s had to let go of a lot in order to make it to this point. She had to give up duties as manager, and she kind of likes how they have it all delegated out now. Things have run smoothly and she’s been able to focus on everything she absolutely must, in addition to sleeping in and reading up on all things baby.

She has a much rounder belly now and Killian hasn’t seen it in person since he left the house a month ago. It’s one of the many changes she’s been witness to over the past few weeks.

Emma places her sunglasses over her head as she enters the lobby and she’s glad the sun’s still shining, because it means she and Killian have so much time to be together today.

Emma asks the clerk at the desk for Killian’s room number and she’s given it after she explains that she’s his wife and the manager of his band, something that makes the man’s eyes widen.

“I watched you on the show! You look so different now. Congratulations on the baby. I had no idea.”

Emma laughs, a blush filling her cheeks. “Thank you.”

She rides the elevator with an expectant feeling bubbling up in her and she can’t stop smiling, because the tour is finally coming to a close, and she’s finally going to have Killian Jones all to herself for as long as she needs.

Instead of giving himself repeatedly, day in and day out, to the crowds and the glory of being on tour, he’ll be at home with her and they’ll make a place for Charlie to live and grow.

When she stands in front of Killian’s door, Emma doesn’t hesitate to knock, and then she moves out of the way of the peephole, knowing full well that he’ll check.

It takes a few moments, but he opens the door, a curious look on his face, and the second he turns to look at her, his expression changes to surprise and elation all at once.

She laughs when he steps out of his room, first propping it open with the lock latch, and he examines her with his mouth and eyes wide.

“Swan, I-” he shakes his head. “You’re here.”

Emma nods. Killian wraps his arms around her and he holds her as close as he can, and she feels his lips against the side of her head before he moves so he can kiss her hello.

Then, he drops to his knees and settles his hands on either side of her bump, grinning up at her as soon as he does it. “He’s grown so much.”

She hums. “He’s moving a lot more too.”

Killian kisses her bellybutton and laughs when their son starts to move. “Hey, Charlie, it’s Daddy. It’s your papa.”

Emma reaches down to run her fingers through Killian’s hair, brushing it out of his eyes. It’s gotten so long and she wants to cut it, but at the same time, she loves the way it’s become so wild and untamed.

Killian stands again and shakes his head. “I cannot believe you came.”

“I had to.” Emma says. “You were only a few hours away and I waited a whole month to see you.”

Her husband hums. “Aye. I suppose that does merit the surprise visit.” He tips his head toward his room. “I was about to head out for Coney Island with the guys but I think they’ll forgive me for wanting to spend my evening with you.”

///

It’s a decision they come to as they’re sitting on the big comfy bed with the curtains pulled wide open and sunlight pouring in.

Killian’s gazing at his wife as she talks about everything in Storybrooke, about all of the gossip her friends have subjected her to during their time apart, and when she’s in the middle of talking about little Leopold, she stops and gets a blush in her cheeks.

“What are you looking at me like that for?”

He grins, unable to keep himself from doing so. “Because you’re beautiful and you’re mine.”

Emma sighs. She looks down at her middle and rubs a soothing circle over her bump.

“We should tell the fans,” Killian says. She meets his eyes. “You’re well over halfway there. I think it’s safe to say they’ll find out sooner or later. And I just want to show you off.”

Emma contemplates his proposition and nods. “Yeah. We should tell them.”

Killian acts quickly. He grabs his phone and opens the camera. “You’re glowing so beautifully, my love.”

She sighs, a soft, contented smile on her lips, and she settles one hand over her bump and gazes downward. He snaps the picture.

Killian posts it on his Instagram with the caption: _She is the sun._

///

**month twenty-four. hotel, NYC.**

Her body arches and he watches her bite down on her lower lip as she holds back her laughter.

She rests her hands over her middle and continues giggling in spite of how hard she’s trying to keep it in, and he finds that in the morning glow, she’s absolutely breathtaking against the pale white sheets.

“Charlie,” she gasps, pressing her fingers against her bare bump, propping her head up against the headboard as she leans back.

Killian, from his position sitting up beside her with his head against the headboard as well, can’t help but smile as he gazes lovingly at his wife.

She’s glowing, absolutely _glowing_ , with her hair curling down her shoulders and her smile spread so wide. He imagines she hasn’t had half as much joy in the time they’ve been apart, and he’s thrilled that he gets to witness her early morning laughter.

“Does he do this often? Kick you awake?” Killian asks lightly. He puts his hand over the place where he can see Charlie’s movement and chuckles.

“He does. But today it’s especially bad.” Emma says. She presses her hands over her face as Killian strokes her bump.

“Charlie Jones,” he says in his best authoritative tone. “Are you quite done?”

Emma giggles breathily and she sinks back against the headboard, her gaze on him even though he isn’t looking at her. He turns his attention to her as Charlie’s motion slows and he smirks at her.

“I think it’s because he knows you’re here,” she tells him, her tone lifting as she speaks. She lifts an eyebrow and so does he, shifting close to his wife.

“Yeah?” he asks. “Do you think he knows my voice?”

Emma shrugs. “He might.” She smiles at him and drags her teeth along her lower lip as she studies his face. “I might play him your music and our parts of the show sometimes before I go to bed.”

Killian’s heart stutters and lifts. He shakes his head as tears burn at his eyes. “You do that?”

She nods. “Sometimes.”

Killian drops his cheek to her shoulder and Emma sets her head over his. He stares down at her bump and swallows a lump in his throat.

He pulls himself upright again and smiles gently at her. “Happy anniversary, Emma.”

Emma smiles in kind. “Happy anniversary, Killian.”

“Two years,” he shakes his head in disbelief. “We’ve made it two whole years and you haven’t left me for another wild science experiment.”

His wife laughs. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m waiting for the right one to come along.” She gives him a teasing look. “Maybe I’m just a gold digger who’s here for your goods.”

He barks a laugh and Emma just chuckles as she moves to straddle his lap, her arms around his neck as she kisses him.

“Well,” he says between kisses, “I don’t know that I could blame you. I do have an amazing body.”

Emma bites on his lip in fits of laughter and throws her head back. Killian’s laughter joins hers and he happily skims his hands up and down her sides gently as she braces her hands on his chest.

Her fingers find his hair and she gives him a generous tug before leaning her forehead against his when her laughter dies out. “I love you.”

“And I love you. Quite a bit.”

Emma hums. “Take me out to breakfast and we’ll see about that.”

Killian chuckles lowly. She awards him with another kiss and their eyes meet with joy in them.

They’ve made it _two_ _years_. And to think he’d once thought they may not last a month.

///

**month twenty-four. venue, NYC.**

“Tonight there’s a representative with a label here to listen to you guys,” Emma says to the band as they’re standing together backstage. “I think it’s about time you guys signed onto something. I get messages almost everyday from people wanting to sign you.”

The guys all nod.

Emma smiles at them. She feels tears behind her eyes, and it’s ridiculous because she’s sick and tired of these _hormones_.

“You guys have killed it this tour. I’m really proud of you and I’m proud to have been your manager.”

Robin reaches out and squeezes her arm. “Thank you, Emma. You’ve been an amazing part of this tour. Even though you haven’t always been here.” He smiles knowingly. “We, as a band, actually have a little something to say thank you.”

Emma furrows her brow as Robin turns around to grab something from his bag. He returns to the circle and holds up a onesie that bears the Jolly Roger symbol on it. On the back, when Robin turns it around, it reads: Honorary Pirate.

She laughs happily and so does Killian. She reaches out for it and stares at it for a moment. “Thank you, guys.”

Emma holds the onesie against her chest as she reaches out with her free arm to hug Robin. She moves along the line, hugging each of the guys, and then steps back with tears in her eyes.

She can’t help but cry just a little when these men mean so much to her, and they’re all so kind and thoughtful.

“I’m sure Charlie will love it.” She says absentmindedly as she studies the piece of clothing.

“Charlie?” Robin asks.

“Ah,” Killian steps in, his cheeks getting red. “It’s a boy. We’ve named him Charlie.”

The guys all excitedly cheer.

“I was right.” Jefferson says, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He and Will laugh and Whale and Robin just grin.

“I’m excited for you.” Whale says. “He’s going to have the best uncles in the world.”

Emma rolls her eyes as Killian’s arm comes around her back. “We’ll see.”

///

Emma stands in the front and center and everything about her makes his heart want to go flying.

She’s glowing and she’s swaying, and she occasionally will put her hand over the baby bump, smiling so sweetly at him.

It’s been what feels like an eternity since she’s been at one of his shows and he can hardly believe that she’s here again.

Killian plays better than he has in weeks, and it’s all because Emma is standing there with her smile so warm and her bump so precious.

“We’ve been on tour for a few months. Have been for nearly three now, aye, Robin?”

“Ah, yes, I believe that’s right.” Robin says into his microphone. “We’re at the end. Last two shows.”

Killian hums. “Yeah. And you lot have been incredible so far. Absolutely fantastic.”

Killian smiles and searches the room. He finds all of his friends from Storybrooke standing right around Emma in the front and then he starts picking his guitar in a new pattern.

“So to celebrate, I was hoping you’d be okay with hearing a new song.”

Everyone in the room erupts and he grins against his microphone. “I wrote this a little while ago, for someone I haven’t met just yet. It’s a lullaby for my son.”

He winks at Emma and steps back to really play.

Tears form in his eyes as he sings, because he starts to envision the little boy that they’re about to bring into the world, with ten fingers and toes, with big bright eyes and a future before him.

And he can’t wait, suddenly, to teach him every single thing he knows, to hold him and kiss him, to promise him that he’ll be here for him with each breath he breathes.

Killian closes his eyes as he reaches the chorus one last time and he sees the boy in his mind, one with soft blonde hair and bright blue eyes, with sweet laughter, chubby cheeks, and a heart of innocence.

When he opens his eyes again at the end, Emma has a wobbly smile on her lips and tear trails run down her cheeks. She wipes at her eyes and her lips read, “I love you,” when she claps for him.

He follows up the lullaby with one he wrote for Emma, a far more upbeat tune that has the room bouncing, and he chuckles when it’s over, because Emma’s smiling brightly and she’s dancing, and there’s nothing but joy in her features.

“So, two years ago, I got married to this beautiful woman in the front row,” Killian says, holding his arm out. The room cheers excitedly. He grins. “And I was wondering if you could help me finish this incredible night off by singing her favorite song from the record.”

///

Emma heads backstage after the show is finished with her friends all on her heels.

She’s the first one into the room the guys are standing in and immediately, she goes to her husband and grabs his hand to yank him to her for a kiss. Killian chuckles against her lips and she laughs, too, because she loves him and he’s hers, and the feeling permeates within her chest, suddenly _real_ again.

It has been far too long since she’s been at a show, since she’s gotten to kiss him and be in his arms afterwards, and tonight has been exceptional.

The song he’d played for Charlie was incredible and she doesn’t know how to tell him that she loved it as much as she does, so she throws everything she can into their kiss.

After their lips break from each other, she falls back onto her feet and releases a heavy breath. “It was so beautiful. And the show was amazing and-”

Killian silences her with another kiss and she hums, giving him all he wants and then some as he wraps his arms around her. “You and I are leaving this place as soon as we can.”

Emma smiles happily. “We had a pretty great anniversary. I’m glad we decided to hold off on the wedding.”

He nods. “Me too. We’ll take our time.”

She just smiles.

Behind them, the guys are with their ladies, and when she turns to check, they’re all pretty well occupied. Killian’s arm goes around her back and he holds her as close as he can to him.

“I want to spend half an hour with the fans after we talk with the rep, if that’s alright,” he murmurs. “But after that, I’m all yours.”

Emma delights in the way he kisses the side of her head, her heart warm when he seems to linger for too long, and she smiles at him when he pulls away from her reluctantly.

“Okay,” she says.

He takes her hand to squeeze it, then as he starts to move away, he comes back to her, making her laugh when he pulls her lips between his. She swats at his arms and clings to him, swaying with him until he sets his forehead against hers.

“You’re my favorite fan,” he tells her lowly. “Do you know that?”

Emma smiles warmly at him as he pulls away. “I’m always yours.” She squeezes his hand and then lets him go, nodding. “I’ll be here, babe. Do your thing.”

///

**month twenty-four. hotel, NYC.**

“Grilled cheese and onion rings for you, Mrs. Jones,” Killian says, setting the bag down in her lap as she sits on the bed.

She scrunches her nose up at him and he toes out of his shoes, eager to join her and munch on some of her onion rings if she’ll let him.

As she eats, Killian busily contemplates the label representative that had come to them backstage. He twists his wedding ring as he does it, thinking of his future and how it’ll change when Charlie arrives.

“The rep was nice,” Emma says casually.

He hums. She tips her bag of onion rings toward him and he takes one. They both chew in silence.

“I think it’s a good deal.” Emma tells him. She shifts so she’s looking at him and he sighs.

“Aye. Me too.”

Emma stops eating and presses her hands together over her baby bump. “Why don’t you want to take it?”

Killian grimaces. “Because we’re about to have a baby and I want to be there for you and for Charlie.” He studies her. “And with a record deal comes recording and then more touring.”

She nods. “I know.” Emma takes a deep breath. “And I also knew that when I became your manager. And I knew it when you told me you were in a band on our wedding day. It’s not a surprise.”

Killian’s heart feels heavy and he turns his gaze from his wife to the windows. “No, that’s not a surprise, but I don’t think you could’ve known that we’d become this popular.”

“I think I knew that when I started listening to the band.” She smiles a little when he turns back to her. Emma slides close to him and sets her chin on his shoulder. “And I know we’ve talked about it before, but I want you to do what makes you happy. I know the band makes you happy. Music makes you happy.”

“But at what cost?” he wonders aloud. Emma’s fingers wrap around his arm and her cheek presses against his shoulder. “I don’t want to be like my father. I don’t want my son to hate me for the rest of his life because I was hardly there or not there at all.”

Emma is quiet for a few moments. “Charlie and I will come to every show we can.” Her voice is a low murmur. “When he’s born it’ll be different, but it’ll be like when we got married. It’s just something new we’ll have to figure out together.”

“Aye,” he replies, feeling his heart lift substantially within his chest.

Emma removes herself from his shoulder and he leans forward to kiss her forehead.

“House Hunters before bed, then?”

She laughs. “As long as you give me a foot rub.”

Killian sighs, faking exhaustion. He tilts his head to the side playfully. “Well. It _is_ our anniversary, so I suppose that can be afforded.”

Emma takes him by the back of his neck and plants a kiss to his lips so vibrant he’s not sure what his name is any longer by the time they come back to breathe. Their foreheads touch as their breathing lingers, and he smiles a little.

“Happy anniversary, my love,” he whispers.

“Happy anniversary, Killian.”


	12. Chapter 12

twelve.

**month twenty-five. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma sits at the kitchen table with a mug of hot chocolate, her laptop, and a plate of eggs and bacon.

Killian stands at the stove, flipping pancakes and singing under his breath, dressed in his pajamas, his hair a ruffled mess, and she finds the domesticity a warm delight.

It’s been a good while since they’ve had day after day of this kind of familiarity and she’s so glad that they finally have it.

“Hey, Swan,” Killian says, pivoting on his heel to turn toward her. “I’ve been thinking back on it and I’m quite glad we chose the nautical theme.”

Emma laughs. She grabs her hot chocolate and holds it in her hands, then leans back a little in her chair as she studies her husband. “Yeah? You sure you don’t want to get him into pirates from day one?”

Killian scrunches up his nose and shakes his head. “He’s got a whole life ahead of him to get into pirates, Swan.”

She hums. One of her hands falls to her middle as Charlie presses against her.

Killian smiles at her warmly and she thinks he’s going to say something cheesy and romantic, but instead, he turns back to his pancakes and says, “Ready for the appointment, love?”

Emma sips at her hot chocolate and hums. “Yeah. You ready? You’re gonna see him this time.”

Killian spins around and beams at her. “Oh, I am far and away the most prepared of the two of us.”

She arches an eyebrow at him and sits forward again so she can cut into her eggs. “I think we should probably paint his room if we’re going to be hanging out here this weekend. That way it can be done when the hundred and one boxes arrive from that shopping spree you went on.”

Her husband gives her a look. “You were sitting right beside me the whole time. I don’t know why you keep getting bitter over it.” He plops a pancake onto the plate and then carries the pan to the sink. “Besides, we need things for Charlie’s room. You’re getting very close to your due date, darling, and I don’t want to be caught playing catch up when he gets here.”

Killian settles down at the table with her and pours almost too much syrup over his pancakes, something he _always_ does. She secretly hopes their children inherit his little quirks, like the way his hair does what it wants, or the way he pours a pond of syrup over his pancakes.

Emma glances at the screen of her computer again and sips at her hot chocolate.

Buddy’s paws pad against the hardwood floor and he enters the room happily, heading straight for his bowls by the counter.

“You know,” Killian says, fresh off of a mouthful of food, “we should probably choose a middle name now so the guys don’t start auctioning it off.”

Emma laughs. “What, Charlie Jones isn’t enough of a name for him?”

Killian tilts his head to the side, a big smile on his face. “Well…”

She nods and sits forward in her chair. She leans her elbow against the table and sets her chin in her hand. “I’ve been thinking about it.”

Her husband lifts a playful eyebrow. “Have you now?”

Emma smiles. “David.”

She’s been thinking about it for a while now, and the second she started considering using David as Charlie’s middle name, it’s felt _right_ , just as right as she’d felt when Killian had first said his first name.

“Charlie David,” Killian tries out the words on his tongue. A slow smile spreads. “Aye. I think it works.” He gazes at her for a few moments. “And I can think of no better namesake, either.”

Emma nods. “Yeah.” She pauses, biting on her lip. “You don’t think it’s cheesy or anything?”

“No,” Killian promises. “David will probably collapse into tears when we tell him.”

She starts laughing at the idea and grabs a piece of bacon from her plate. She reaches over to swipe it in Killian’s syrup and he doesn’t even flinch.

The doorbell rings and they both start grinning at each other.

“Which order do you think it is?” he asks as he pushes back from the table.

Emma hums thoughtfully as she rises to her feet, eager to follow him and find out. “I almost want to say the crib. You ordered it a week ago.”

“Yeah?” he asks. “My bet is the rocking chair. I had it rushed.”

Emma gives him a confused look and he answers her unasked question with, “I needed to make sure it was as comfortable as they claimed, love, what do you think, I’m going to endure endless hours awake in the dead of night sitting on a piece of driftwood?”

They start rushing to the front door and Killian checks the peephole before laughing triumphantly.

He pulls open the door and she watches as he lifts the box by himself. He hauls it into the house and closes the door behind him with his hip.

“I do believe, Mrs. Jones, that we have ourselves a rocking chair for Charlie’s room.”

Killian smiles at her and then lifts his hand up. She slaps hers against his and laughs.

“Let’s get it set up. I want to see how it fits.”

It takes them, well, _Killian_ , a total of twenty-five minutes, and the whole time, he ignores the instructions and insists he knows how to put together a bloody chair.

It ultimately ends with Emma reading the instructions aloud as he begrudgingly assembles it as per the pamphlet in her hands.

As soon as he’s finished, Killian steps back to examine his handiwork. He nods, smirking.

“There we are. Why don’t you test it out, love?”

Emma steps across the empty bedroom and then settles into the chair with a sigh of appreciation. She pushes back a little and starts to rock. A smile spreads on her face.

Killian seems to be cautiously wary of it, his teeth digging into his lower lip as he stands there with a screwdriver in one hand. “Is it everything the reviews claimed it would be?”

“Well, I don’t know what they claimed,” Emma teases. She runs her fingers along the armrests and then settles them clasped together over her belly. “But it’s a really comfortable chair. I could probably sleep here if I didn’t have an appointment today.”

Her husband cheers. “Fantastic.”

Emma giggles when he leans down over her to kiss her chastely and then he drops the screwdriver into the box. “Okay. We’d best get going if we’re going to make it in time, aye?”

///

**month twenty-five. doctor’s office, storybrooke, maine.**

He’s been to a few appointments, but he hasn’t ever seen a sonogram in person before, so when the doctor enters the room and explains that they’re due for one, he starts to feel a little anxious.

Killian is sitting at Emma’s side as the doctor squirts jelly onto her bump and she laughs at how cold it is, something that helps ease his eager heart, and he takes her hand when she reaches out for him.

With the lights out, the doctor stands at the monitor and moves the wand about over Emma’s rounded belly. She smiles and then she turns the screen toward them.

“Here he is,” she says. “His head here, and his arms. These are his feet.”

Killian squeezes Emma’s hand and she looks away briefly from the screen to face him. She smiles softly, but he can hardly look away from the screen, where his son is being displayed so clearly.

“What do you think, Papa?” Emma asks, dragging his attention to her.

He grins, though tears burn behind his eyes and he can hardly breathe. “He’s a bloody handsome devil. I can already tell.”

Emma and the doctor laugh. Killian shifts to be a little closer to his wife.

“And let’s listen to his heart to make sure it’s healthy while we’re at it.”

The doctor flips a switch and suddenly he hears it, a wonderful whirring. A quickly fluttering heart that beats within his little son’s chest.

It’s the most beautiful music he has ever heard.

///

**month twenty-five. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma’s having a nap as Killian sits in his music room.

He’s playing his guitar as he tries to think about everything except for the record label that’s been calling, wanting an answer and trying to sway him. He likes the deal and he likes the company, but all he’s thinking about, and all he has been thinking about lately, is Charlie.

Emma keeps promising him that she doesn’t care what he does. She keeps insisting that he should pursue what makes him happy, but what makes him truly happy is his family.

The doorbell rings as he’s plucking the strings of his guitar and he sets it down against his chair before he heads to the front door. He checks first and discovers a most unwelcome sight waiting for him on the other side.

Brennan Jones.

Killian unintentionally bites down on his tongue just this side of making it bleed and he tenses as he pulls open the door.

His father’s face lifts and he holds a hand up to stop him from closing the door. Killian scowls as he curls his fingers into his fists.

“What are you doing here?” he demands lowly.

Brennan shakes his head. “Killian, I heard you were home and I just want to make amends. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Killian stands still at the open door and hesitates. He steps forward and onto the porch, closing the door behind him because he doesn’t want his father anywhere near Emma. He folds his arms to his chest and straightens his shoulders.

“This is my house,” Killian says. “And you’ll leave if I tell you to.”

“Of course.”

Killian reluctantly nods. “Alright, then, I’ll listen to you if you’ve got something to say.”

He watches his father as he reaches up to scratch the back of his head. “I… I know I left on awful terms. I know it was wrong of me to do what I did.” He pauses. “I only did it because I had no choice.”

“No choice?” Killian scoffs. “Don’t take me an idiot. You had a choice and you took the wrong option. A good father wouldn’t abandon his children to fend for themselves.”

Brennan looks hurt. He shakes his head. “Killian, I left because I wasn’t strong enough, and I know now that any man would have been proud to have been your father.” Brennan shifts backward. “I… I told Liam the same and it’s true. I missed everything with you boys and I regret every last second of it now that I’ve found my old age. I just… I wish I could change it somehow.”

Killian clenches his jaw as he tries to not lose his strength. He nods. “Well, you missed everything. Nothing’s going to change that.”

“I know,” Brennan says. Their eyes meet and Killian’s gut twists violently. “Do you think you could give me a chance, Killian? To prove I’m not here to hurt you again?”

Killian hesitates and shakes his head. “No. I can’t.” He pauses. “It’s just too little too late. I’m older now. I’ve got a home and a wife. A family.” Killian swallows thickly. “And I’m not sure I can trust you. You came back so suddenly. How do I know you’re not here to try and mooch off of my popularity and fame?”

Brennan doesn’t say anything and Killian clenches his jaw again.

He nods. “I suppose I’ll see you around.”

///

**month twenty-six. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma stands at the door of Charlie’s nursery with one hand on her hip and the other over her belly. She watches as Killian and Liam shift the dresser they’d had made by Marco in town against the wall that has a window that looks down on the backyard.

From somewhere downstairs, Emma can hear Mary Margaret and her kids are playing with Buddy, and Regina laughs with Robin and Elsa. The guys and their ladies, and Jefferson, are all out back with the grill and David’s on his way with some ice cream.

It’s their informal way of getting together to talk about the record deal, featuring beers, a football, and too much food. Having Mary Margaret and David over is simply because they haven’t had a cookout in a long while, and besides, there are limited days remaining before the baby comes.

“Is this good, love?” Killian asks, stepping back.

Emma takes in the room as a whole and nods. “Yeah. Now all we need are things to fill it.”

Liam grins. “Well, I’ve heard you’ll be due for a baby shower any minute.”

She sighs. “Mary Margaret told me it wouldn’t be a big deal, but it’s definitely going to be if I know her even a little.”

Emma removes her hand from her hip and steps into the room. She grabs the tiny stuffed monkey from the top of their pile of things to go through and put away.

She sits in the rocking chair and settles the monkey that Killian had brought back from the store one day over her bump and sighs.

The walls have been painted and against the door is the letter “C”. There’s a watercolor painting of a ship sailing against a sunset on one of the walls and a rug on the floor.

“This is shaping up,” Liam says on a grin. “Charlie will love living here.”

Emma smiles up at her brother-in-law. She and the guys have a lot to talk about, but at least she knows for the first few months of his life, Charlie will be able to have a constant in this bedroom.

“I hope so,” she says on a sigh.

///

“So you guys need to make a decision,” Emma tells the group of guys as they sit around the table in the backyard.

The ladies are inside, gathered around the kids and the puppy, and David is busy cleaning the grill for Killian.

Killian, who sits beside her, hesitates and drags his teeth along his lower lip. “I like the deal.”

Victor nods in agreement. “It’s a good deal. When I was managing I don’t think I saw anything half as good as this one.”

Emma looks between the boys and they all nod in agreement. “Then I think we should take it.”

Killian’s hesitation lingers and he shakes his head. “I don’t know, Emma, I just feel like we’re jumping into something.”

She studies him for a few moments in silence and sighs. “Okay. Then we’ll just hold onto it and keep thinking on it.”

Emma’s heart feels heavy because she knows why he’s hesitating so much, and it’s all because of one Brennan Jones and his sudden reappearance in Killian’s life.

“Okay. We have ice cream and I’m pretty sure Mary Margaret brought cupcakes.” Emma announces. She pushes back from the table and the guys all scramble upward, practically tripping on one another to get inside.

Killian tilts his head to the side as he watches them and then he stands alongside her. “Promise me we won’t let Charlie turn into one of them.”

Emma laughs. She shakes her head. “ _Your_ son? Absolutely not.”

///

**month twenty-seven. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Mary Margaret is by far the busiest woman Emma has ever known. In addition to being a mother of two little ones, she’s a homemaker and a wife and she always, always has enough time for anything Emma needs.

Mary Margaret spends her entire Saturday setting up a baby shower straight out of Emma’s living room, and it is incredible.

Emma and Killian end up with piles upon piles of new baby things and it’s so overwhelming that Emma begins to cry. Not that her hormones are helping in the least.

As she stands in the middle of Charlie’s nursery later that night, she feels grateful, because for the first time, she feels like she’s actually going to be ready for him. They have clothes and diapers, a place for him to sleep, and there are plenty of extra things sitting in piles along the wall.

She presses her hand against the ridge of the crib and stares at the stuffed animals waiting inside, then she turns to sit in the rocking chair so she can rest her palm over her rounded belly.

From downstairs, she can hear Killian playing his guitar. Faintly, his voice carries as well, and she knows he’s playing one of the handful of songs he’s been trying to write in the time that he’s been back home.

Emma closes her eyes as she listens to his voice and she sighs when he ultimately cuts himself off in the middle of a line and puts his guitar away. She hears his feet as they carry him across the house, up the stairs, and then down the hall to her.

Killian stands in the doorway and a tiny smile fills his lips as he studies her. “Are you ready for bed, love?”

“Yeah,” she murmurs. She remains sitting, though, and turns her gaze to the crib again.

Emma has a sudden thought as she’s sitting here in the rocking chair in her child’s bedroom, that she isn’t going to be good enough. She didn’t grow up with parents. She doesn’t know how to be a _mom_. How is she ever going to figure out how to be Charlie’s mom?

“What’s wrong?” Killian asks. He crosses the room and she turns in time to see him squat down before her.

Emma’s chest feels heavy and she shakes her head. “I know we’re _ready_ for him, but…” Emma pauses and tears fill her eyes. She drops her gaze to her middle as Charlie stirs within her. “I don’t know if _I_ am.”

Her husband releases a heavy sigh. Emma’s eyes flit back to him and he reaches up to take her hand.

“I know that feeling all too well.” He forces a smile and searches her eyes as it falls again. “It’s as you said, Swan, we’ll face this together, just as we did when we were first married. It won’t be easy and no one expects us to be incredible parents straight away.” Killian stops and his eyelashes flutter against his cheek a few times as he struggles with his emotion. “I know I’ll give everything I have to him. Because I want to be more for him than I ever had. And that’s all I can give to him. It’s all I have.”

Emma stares at him for a few moments in quiet. She squeezes his hand. “You have me.”

Killian smiles, truly, and her heart squeezes at the fact. “Aye, love, that I do. And you, me.”

Emma takes a soft breath and then leans forward to kiss his forehead. “We’re quite the team.”

Her husband chuckles and then captures her in a chaste kiss. His eyes glow under the dim lights in their little son’s bedroom and he gazes at her as if she is _everything_. And she knows he believes she is.

“The best team, Swan. The _best_.”


	13. Chapter 13

thirteen.

**month twenty-eight. hospital, storybrooke, maine.**

The minute he’s born, it’s like the world stops, but then releases a heavy sigh, slowly.

Killian, from his position at Emma’s side, finds himself at a loss for words. He can hardly breathe, much less think, and he has tears in his eyes when the baby’s first cries pierce the air.

They’ve been waiting for this little life to come for a while now, and he’s finally _here_. After several hours of sitting and waiting in this room, watching as his wife went through contraction after contraction.

Emma, for her part, lies here still so strong, her hand gripped tight in his.

She pants and she’s sweaty, her hair matted against her forehead, and he brushes it back to kiss her there, whispering, “You did wonderfully, my love. So wonderful.”

He steps back and the doctor grins at him, he can see it in the crinkles by his eyes, as he says, “Congratulations. It’s a boy.”

Things move faster then, as he’s asked to cut the cord, and he sees him- he sees his _son_.

He’s small, but he’s strong, and he’s red. He cries loudly for a few moments until he’s eased into his mother’s arms after a quick weighing, and the nurses all assure them that everything’s great.

The little baby boy squirms, but he seems rather content pressed against the skin of his mother’s chest. She smiles down at him, caressing his cheek with the side of her finger.

“Hi, Charlie,” she whispers, tears in her eyes. Her voice shakes and she releases a soft sob, obviously relieved. “I love you so much.”

Killian watches her as she looks up at him and she smiles weakly, murmuring, “I did it.”

He grins. “Aye, love. You did. You did so fantastically.”

Leaning in, Killian kisses her temple. He lowers his gaze to his son and Emma strengthens her hold on him. “He’s so small.”

“I know,” he comments, smiling. “But he’s strong. Look at him. Gets it all from his mum.”

Emma smiles as she continues to stare at the little boy and she reaches up to stroke his cheek. “He looks like you, Killian. He has your nose.”

Killian hesitantly reaches down to take his fingers and brush back the soft thin mop of hair on his son’s head and he can’t keep from smiling as tears gather in his eyes. It’s been an incredibly long morning and he can’t believe that the time has actually come.

He lowers a kiss to the soft skin of Charlie’s brow and lingers there, hoping with everything in him that he’ll be enough for his son and that he can carry this deep, deep love he feels heavy in his chest for the rest of his days.

He hadn’t ever known true love until this moment, and as he leans back to watch Emma as she lies there holding him, he knows his life is changed just as much as hers is.

///

Emma watches the two halves of her heart from her position in the hospital bed. She’s exhausted and she could probably sleep right now, but seeing Killian with their son in this tender early morning is worth every second of it.

Her heart is so much fuller now that Charlie is here. The depth of the love she feels for him is so much more than she anticipated it could be.

Killian’s singing to Charlie. His voice is low and soft, and his gaze is so impossibly gentle, just as the pads of his calloused fingers are as he allows Charlie to hold onto his thumb with all of his.

They’re sitting beside her in the chair Killian had been delegated to during labor, and now that it’s finished and the storm is through, Emma feels the emotional weight of it all hitting her at once.

Killian’s arms are strong and he holds onto the newborn like a professional, something he’d been quite proud of the moment she’d allowed him to hold their son for the first time. He lowers a kiss to Charlie’s brow as he slumbers and presses his nose there afterward, his eyes sliding closed as he just breathes him in.

Emma lifts her fingers to wipe at her watery eyes and she takes a shuddered breath as she finally allows herself to rest. Before she closes her eyes, her husband meets her gaze and she exchanges a soft smile with him.

She drops her gaze to their son and the weight of exhaustion overwhelms her all at once.

///

Killian strokes over the little brown locks of hair and allows Charlie to grasp at his pointer finger, one of his favorite things to do, as Killian’s smile widens. “Hey, little lad. I’m your Papa.”

He thumbs over the incredibly small and pink fingers, lowering a kiss to his son’s head. He smells fresh and new, and something he’d classify as purely _baby_ , and he loves the scent more than he loves Emma’s shampoo or the way she lights sugary candles during Christmas time.

“Do you remember hearing my voice, Charlie?” Killian asks softly. “Do you remember your song?”

There’s already so much he wants to teach him and share with him, but he’s quite content just holding all nineteen inches of him in his arms.

So he does, for a long time, watching as Charlie breathes and his tiny limbs twitch on their own as he falls into sleep.

He loves how his tiny little lips part and his tongue comes out while his eyes droop shut. His breathing when he sleeps is a whistling that comes straight from his nose and it’s funny, but it’s also genuinely sweet, and Killian chuckles lowly at it.

He presses another light kiss to his dark mess of hair hidden under the small hospital hat, inhaling the boy’s scent one last time before he looks up.

He stands from his chair and leans over the bed, where Emma lies with a look of complete exhaustion and adoration on her face.

"Hey beautiful,” he whispers. She smiles a little and he lowers a kiss to her lips, careful with their son in his arms. “He’s perfect, Emma.”

She looks down at him and bites her lip. “I know.”

Charlie gurgles a little and squishes his eyes shut tighter. Killian compares his wife and his son and then thumbs over the dimple in her chin.

“He’s got your chin.”

She smiles. “He loves you already.” Emma reaches in and strokes over his cheek. She sighs a little and their eyes meet.

“I’ve never been so glad that I married you the second I met you than right now.”

Emma laughs, looking down at their boy again. “Me either.”

Killian leans back in to kiss her forehead. “I mean it, Sweetheart. You have made me an incredibly happy man. Even without our son. You and I, we’re it, forever.” She smiles sweetly at him. “You’re so beautiful.”

Despite the nap she’d taken earlier, he knows she needs a little more rest based upon the weary way she stares back at him.

Killian’s phone starts to ring and he sighs. “That would be David. I’m fairly certain he and Mary Margaret are trying to be the first to see Charlie. Even before Liam.”

Emma laughs softly as she extends her arms. “I’ll take him.”

Killian hands Charlie to his wife and she smiles wide as Charlie settles into her arms. She caresses his cheek and holds him close, murmuring something to him as Killian grabs his phone and answers.

“Hey, mate,” Killian sighs. “How’s it?”

“Great. Mary Margaret and I are actually here at the hospital. I know Emma just had the baby so if you’d rather us wait and see him later, we understand.”

Killian chuckles. “No, mate, it’s fine. I can-”

The door suddenly opens and Killian hangs up his phone with another laugh when their friends enter the room with rather excited looks on their faces. Mary Margaret gasps and clasps her hands over her heart.

“Emma, you look like an angel.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “I do not.”

Mary Margaret comes to the side of the bed with David just behind her. Killian greets his friend with a grin and David wraps his arms around him.

“Congratulations, Killian.”

Killian laughs happily. “Thanks, Dave.”

They part and Killian steps back to see Mary Margaret looking up from Charlie. She sighs and smiles at him. “He is so beautiful.”

“I know.” Killian teases.

Mary Margaret chuckles as she approaches him to give him a tight hug. “Congratulations. I had a feeling it would happen today.”

“Did you?” he asks. “Because we didn’t.”

Mary Margaret laughs again. She steps back from Killian and toward Emma once again. David’s studying the little one with a tender gaze and a smile on his lips.

“So, what’s his name?” David asks.

Killian looks at Emma and she smiles as she looks down at Charlie, giving his blanket a little adjustment and accepting his fingers around her pointer. “His name is Charlie David Jones.”

David gets a look of shock on his face and Mary Margaret just gets teary-eyed as she looks at Emma. Killian sees tears in David’s eyes, too, as realization sets in, and he smiles at Emma.

“Wow.” David manages to say. “That’s… an amazing name.”

Emma laughs and Killian claps his friend on the shoulder. “Don’t get too cocky, mate. We can still change it.”

///

**month twenty-eight. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Killian carries the car seat while Emma walks on the other side of it. Their stay at the hospital over, they’re finally going home, and he’s never been more eager to see his bed.

The moment he opens the door, Buddy comes racing toward them, and Killian can’t help but smile a little, though Buddy’s excited yips make Charlie wake from his sleep with a little cry.

“I figured,” Emma mutters.

Killian takes the baby and sets him on the floor so Buddy can sniff him out, which he does immediately.

“Buddy,” Killian says firmly, drawing Buddy’s eyes to him. “You’ve got to be nice and quiet around your brother, aye?”

Buddy turns away from Killian and presses his nose against Charlie’s toes. He sniffs him and Charlie’s cries soften out as soon as Killian pushes back the cover over the car seat.

Buddy seems to be content with the new addition to the house. He finds his toes and licks them.

“I think he approves,” Killian chuckles, looking up at his wife.

She chuckles. “That’s good.”

Killian unbuckles the newborn and lifts him into his arms, then rises to his feet to hand him off to Emma, who gives his forehead a kiss as she murmurs, “It’s okay, baby. We’re home. It’s okay.”

The sentiment resonates deep within Killian’s chest and he takes a breath as he glances around. He discovers something sitting in the kitchen when he walks that way with the empty car seat in his hand and he sets it down on the table while he reads the note placed in the center.

_Emma and Killian (and Charlie!)-_

_We thought we’d leave you some meals to make it through the next few weeks with a newborn. Check the fridge!_

_Can’t wait to see our nephew soon!_

_-Elsa and Liam_

Killian can’t help but smile. He turns to Emma. “Elsa and Liam left us meals.”

“Really?” she asks, wandering toward the room with the quieted baby in her arms.

He pulls open the fridge to find stacks of covered dishes. “Apparently they took a few notes from Mary Margaret.”

Emma laughs sweetly. “I think it’s nice of them. I wasn’t even thinking about that before we left for the hospital.”

“Aye. Neither was I.” Killian shuts the refrigerator door and then turns fully to his wife. “I think I’ll shower, if that’s alright with you.”

Emma hums. She looks down at the bundle in her arms. “Fine with me. I’ll just hang out with this little dude and see if I can’t get him to sleep again.”

Killian smiles as he approaches them. He stares down at Charlie’s face, finding his eyes wide and his lips parted as he clenches his fingers around Emma’s.

“Gods, I just love him so much,” Killian murmurs.

“I know.”

///

He lies in the bed between them and they keep counting his fingers and toes while his tiny chest rises and falls.

Emma can’t really get over how much like them he looks, or the fact that he has a little head of hair already so much like his daddy. She runs her fingers over what light wisps he has and Charlie scrunches up his face as he sleeps.

He wiggles a little and his fingers curl up into fists around their fingers.

Killian settles his hand over Charlie’s middle and presses his thumb over his heart.

“Can you believe we were just lying here waiting for him a night ago?” Killian asks.

Emma shakes her head. She meets her husband’s eyes. “Everyone’s going to want to see him but I just want to keep him for myself.”

Killian chuckles. He reaches for his phone when it chirps for the hundredth time since they laid down. He sighs. “Well, let’s settle all of this excitement once and for all.”

He captures a photo of Charlie’s fingers wrapped around Emma’s and posts it online with the caption: _He’s here and he is everything._

Then he takes a picture of Charlie and sends it to their friends who keep texting them.

“Charlie Jones, you are the talk of the nation.” Killian sighs. He sets his phone down on his nightstand after shutting it off completely. “But you belong here with us. Mummy and I won’t let anyone have you just yet.”

Emma’s heart swells in her chest. She stares down at Charlie as he sleeps and runs her fingers over his hair again.

“Sometimes I hate it that the band is making it big, because it means he can’t have a normal life.” Killian murmurs in a sudden moment of complete honesty.

Emma’s gaze darts away from the little one and to her husband quickly. She shakes her head. “It’s going to be fine, Killian.”

Killian stares at her silently. He presses his hands over his face and turns onto his back. “If we go signing record deals and go touring, how is that normal? He’s just a baby, Emma.”

“It’s his normal,” Emma says. “And he’ll love it because he loves you already. We’ll go to shows and come to the studio when you’re recording. It’s not like he’ll never see you.”

Killian removes his hands and returns his weary gaze to her. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it yet. We need some time with him first. Then I’ll make a decision.”  

Emma presses her lips together. “Okay.”


	14. Chapter 14

fourteen.

**month twenty-eight. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma wakes from a mid-morning nap to the sound of Charlie’s cries. He’s hungry, again.

Killian’s sleeping beside her, with his arm draped over his face, and he doesn’t even stir as she pulls herself out of their bed to cross the room to the little bassinet in the room in front of the window that pours sunlight inside.

She smiles a little at her son and lifts him into her arms. “Hey, Charlie, shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you. Are you hungry?”

Charlie’s cries soften as she carries her boy to her bed. She sits upright, her back against the headboard, and she feeds him. 

As she soaks in the morning glow before her and the fact that she’s holding in her arms the little life that had spent nine months growing and changing within her, Emma feels tears in her eyes.

Charlie is _perfect_.

Every inch of him is- she knows because she’s examined him from head to toe more times than she can count. His eyes shine up at her, and she knows he can’t really see clearly yet as a newborn baby, but he seems to know he’s safe in her arms.

The very fact that she’s able to provide that for her son makes her heart weak.

She hadn’t grown up with parents. She doesn’t know how to do this. But if Charlie believes in her, even though he’s barely a week old now, she thinks maybe she can try.

Emma’s free hand goes to his fingers and she strokes over the soft skin of his palms before she reaches for his cheek and smiles at how round it is. His eyes close and he stops feeding. She moves to hold him out against her knees when she draws them upright.

“I love you, Charlie,” Emma whispers. She leans forward to kiss his forehead and then his nose, and she presses hers against his. “Don’t tell Daddy, but I think you’re more handsome than he is.”

She smiles a little when she leans back and Killian says in a low, gravelly tone, “I heard that.”

Emma looks away from her son and to her husband instead, biting down on her lip as she watches him turn onto his side to face them. He’s tired, but he’s smiling at her, and he takes his fingers through his hair before rubbing it over his face.

“I can’t believe you’ve been here for a whole week,” Emma murmurs, turning her attention back to the little one in her hold.

Charlie stares up at her and brings his fingers up to his face.

“A whole week.” Emma whispers, giving him another kiss to his nose.

He touches her cheeks with lazy, tiny fingers barely grazing her skin and she gazes lovingly at him for a few long moments, her heart entirely filled. He moves his legs and she pulls away to find Killian reaching up to stroke at the small heel of his foot.

“We should probably get up soon. We’re due to have company any minute.”

Emma sighs. She turns to look at her husband and tilts her head toward the bathroom. “I need to have a shower.”

Killian shifts onto his back and holds out his arms. “I’ll hold him.”

Emma kisses Charlie’s head and then helps him into Killian’s arms. She watches as Killian settles him onto his chest, Charlie’s ear pressed over his heart, and he kisses the top of his head as he rests.

“Daddy’s got you, Charlie,” Killian murmurs, his voice thick with tiredness. “Papa’s got you.”

///

“I am a diaper changing master, Swan. You should have seen how fast I changed his diaper just now.”

Emma laughs as she walks into their bedroom. Freshly showered, she feels much lighter as she approaches the bed where Killian has Charlie laid out in his Honorary Pirate onesie.

“Are you excited to meet Papa’s friends today, Charlie?” Emma asks as she leans over her son.

She lowers a kiss to his forehead and then to his cheek and lingers there with multiple kisses before she leans away with a sigh.

Killian has a tiny smile on his lips. “Alright, Charlie, I want to apologize for Will and for Jeff… and for all of them, really. They’re all unpredictable and I’m worried they’ll make a horrible impression on you. But they’re going to try to be better for you because you’re a big deal, little one.”

Charlie just moves his arms and legs a little as he makes a noise in his throat. She reaches down to take him into her arms and he settles in very contentedly.

“They’re not here, are they?” Emma asks when she hears something loud downstairs.

Killian releases a heavy breath and lifts his eyebrows. He grabs a clean shirt from a dresser drawer. “They might be.”

She watches him pull his nightshirt off to replace it with a graphic tee. He rakes his fingers through his hair once it’s through and she can’t help but appreciate the way his arm muscles flex.

Emma sighs. “Okay. Well, Charlie, time to meet your family.”

Killian leads the way out of the bedroom and Emma holds Charlie in her arms.

When they reach the downstairs, the guys are all standing in the main living space, having let themselves in, to which Emma sighs and shakes her head.

“You guys can’t just walk into the house like this.”

Robin is excited when he looks at her, eyeing the bundle in her arms. “Apologies, Emma, it’s just very exciting.”

“Not our fault Jones gave us a key, anyway,” Will adds on a grumble.

Emma adjusts Charlie’s blanket as she steps down onto the lower floor and immediately, the boys come to look at the baby in her arms.

“Oh, bloody hell, he’s _gorgeous_.” Robin swoons.

Emma smiles as her son stares up at her. “He’s pretty handsome.”

Robin smiles at her when she looks at him and she eyes him. “Have you washed your hands lately?”

“Ah, no. I should have been more prepared.”

Emma turns to the guys. “Everyone needs to wash their hands if they’re going to touch him. He’s one week old. I don’t want him getting sick.”

Robin is the first to hold Charlie after he washes his hands, and it’s impossibly sweet, because Robin has dimples in his cheeks that pop forth as he cradles the newborn so close to his chest.

“Well, hello, there, Charlie. You and I will be best of friends, I think. I’m Robin. Your favorite uncle. Remember that.”

Robin pokes Charlie on the nose and Charlie puts a fist against Robin’s chest. Robin beams at the action and proceeds to babble at him and scrunch up his face at him, as if it will do anything but make him look silly.

Next, Whale takes Charlie, and he looks a little uncomfortable, but he smiles regardless at the little baby in his arms. “You’re going to play bass, right, Charlie?”

Emma rolls her eyes at the argument that ensues.

“No, no, he’s a guitar man,” Killian says. “He’s got the fingers for it.”

“What are you talking about? Piano.” Jefferson says as he steps up to Whale, practically demanding Victor’s time to be cut short so he can cradle the newborn.

Emma’s heart lodges in her throat and she holds up her hands anxiously as they make the transfer, because he’s her little baby and she’s _impossibly_ in love with him. But Jefferson holds Charlie, and it’s okay, because the guys all know how to hold babies- they’ve held little Rosie before.

“Yeah, you’ll play piano,” Jefferson proclaims. “And forget all of these other idiots. You and I will be good friends, Charlie. Uncle Jeff will take care of you.”

Emma glances at Killian and they both hold back laughter, though Emma does find the sight of Jefferson with a baby quite endearing.

Jefferson looks to Will when he presumably is finished holding Charlie, but Will hesitates. “I dunno. Should I?”

“Go for it.” Killian says. “If you want to be his favorite uncle you’ll have to compete somehow.”

Will shrugs at that, and Emma watches on bated breath as the exchange is made. Her fingers curl in her palms and she bites down on her tongue to keep from saying anything, though as soon as Will shows the first signs of struggle, she approaches him and gently teaches him how to hold Charlie.

“Okay,” Will says on a shaky sigh. “That was… int’resting.”

He stares down at Charlie and Emma does too, a small smile filling her lips when she finds that his little eyes are starting to close.

“Have I tired you out already?” Will asks. “Bloody hell. How’m I going to be your favorite uncle if you can’t keep your eyes open?”

Emma laughs softly and sets her hand on Will’s back. “He likes you.”

Will looks up at her with fear in his eyes. “I didn’t- I don’t-”

“It’s okay,” Emma chuckles.

Will smiles a little and then looks back down at Charlie. Clearly, the admiration he feels for Charlie goes deeper than he’d like to let on. It’s funny to her, seeing a man with such a tough outer shell so soft.

Killian winks at Will when he looks up again and Will recoils, shaking his head. “I dunno what you’re insinuating but I’m not a baby whisperer or nothing.”

“It’s okay to like him, Scarlet.” Killian teases.

Will looks down at the bundle in his arms and murmurs, “He’s just so small an’ innocent.”

Emma’s heart swells at his words and she meets his gaze again with a smile wider on her lips. She doesn’t say anything, and neither does Will, but he hands Charlie to her, and as soon as he’s out of his arms, Will can’t stop staring down at him anyway.

“Well, Emma,” Robin says, “you look fantastic. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen you.”

Emma scoffs. “I just had a baby. Pretty sure I don’t look that good.”

“Nonsense, Swan,” Killian says as she comes to stand beside him. “You’re radiant.”

He beams at her and leans in for a chaste kiss. She feels her cheeks heating up as her husband pulls away from her, and as she stares into his eyes, she knows he absolutely believes she is, and she loves him for it.

///

“We need to make a decision, Killian,” Robin says as they sit in the living room.

Killian’s heart races and he hesitates as he scratches behind his ear. He’s sitting cross-legged beside his friend and the guys are gathered around the coffee table while they listen to Jefferson playing a game on his phone.

Emma’s putting Charlie down for a nap in the nursery and he wishes, almost, that he could be with her instead of sitting here with a warring mind and a racing heart.

He takes a heavy breath and runs his fingers through his hair as he leans forward on the couch, pressing his elbows into his knees. He sighs as he sets his hands over his face.

“You lot don’t understand why I’m hesitating, do you?”

“No, we get it,” Jeff replies. “You’ve got a family. That’s more than any of us can say.”

Killian leans back again and bites down on his lip as he stares at Robin. Their conversation about this comes back to him and he knows Robin’s thinking it just as much as he is. He can leave now and they’d all understand.

“Killian, it’s a good deal. I say we take it.”

He shifts, staring down at his left hand, where his wedding ring resides, and he thinks of Emma, and he thinks of her promises to him that it’ll all be okay, that they’ll make it regardless of what his gut is telling him.

And then he thinks of Charlie, and of how much of himself he sees in his little lad, and he thinks of Brennan, of all people, because if he does this, Charlie might end up resenting him just as he once did his own father.

“I can’t.”

Robin takes a deep breath and straightens out.

“Okay.” He pauses. Robin hesitates and Killian knows he’s definitely thinking back on that conversation they’d had as he speaks. “Perhaps it’s time we think about the future without you, then.”

Killian finds his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and he looks down at his hands again, rubbing the calloused pads of his fingers against the lines of his palms.

“You know how much I love and appreciate all you do, Killian, but the band has taken off and, for heaven’s sake, we moved to Maine so we could do it with you, and you suddenly can’t even stomach it? This is what we’ve dreamt of for _years_ , Killian!”

“I’ve got a son, now, Robin!” Killian argues, tensing as they stare at each other. “I can’t be halfway across the world playing music when he’s here at home. I can’t do it.”

“He can come with us.” Whale suggests offhandedly. “Emma can take care of him, can’t she?”

Killian deflates slightly. “Yes, but-”

“I know we talked about this before,” Robin says, “and I still want you to be able to choose, but I can see it in your eyes that you don’t want to leave the band.”

Killian averts his gaze again, feeling nothing but a heavy weight on his shoulders as he considers his choice all over again.

“I think you’re fighting this for no reason,” Robin shakes his head. “Whatever it is you’re worried about- it isn’t about the band. This is about _you_ being selfish.” Robin stares at him silently as Killian’s eyes drag back to him. “Worrying over something that has nothing to do with us as a group isn’t going to help us be successful.”

Killian can’t speak and he feels cornered, suddenly, as if he had never anticipated for it to come to this.

“And you know what else,” Robin says, “I think we should have a new manager.”

“Agreed,” Will chirps up.

Killian’s heart sinks. He stares at his band mates as they all raise their eyebrows and shrug in agreement.

Jefferson nods. “Emma’s been kind of sloppy. We need someone who knows what they’re doing.”

Killian pushes to his feet, he can’t help himself, and he raises his voice ever so slightly, “Are you bleeding serious? You can’t tell me Emma has been sloppy when she has been working her arse off for these past few months for us. She organized a _tour_ , she’s fixed our image multiple times, no thanks to you, Jeff.”

“She’s just had a baby,” Robin says quietly. “And I think she should devote her time to Charlie. Not us.”

“I don’t think it’s unreasonable.” Whale says.

“No.” Will agrees. “The little one’s more work than the whole of us combined.”

Killian pulls his lower lip into his mouth and takes a breath through his nose. He nods. “Alright. Say I leave the band and Emma’s not the manager any longer. What next?”

The guys look between themselves. Clearly, none of them thought this would happen when they came to see the baby.

Robin shakes his head. “I can sing for a while. We could look for a new lead. And I’m sure it isn’t impossible to find someone to manage us. Not if we sign onto the label anyway.”

Killian feels tears burning behind his eyes and he shrugs, dropping his hands against his thighs. “So I guess that’s it, then. Ten years together and you’re asking me to leave.”

“We’re not asking you to leave,” Robin says, tilting his head as his shoulders fall. “You’re the one who doesn’t want the best for us as a band. You’re the leader, Killian, you always have been, so if you aren’t going to act it, then maybe it’s for the best.”

Killian looks at Robin and then into the faces of his closest friends for a few long silent moments. He tilts his head toward the hall. “You’ve overstayed your welcome.”

The guys leave without further argument, but Robin, being the last out the door, gives him one meaningful look before saying, “I don’t want it to be over, Killian. I just want what’s best for the band.”

Killian clenches his jaw. He can’t speak.

Robin turns away and Killian closes the door. He barely shuts it when he hears Emma’s feet on the stairs.

Turning to her, he feels weary, but she doesn’t speak, or ask questions, she just tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear and lingers at the base of the steps.

“I’m going for a walk.” Killian says.

He steps into his shoes and grabs his leather jacket, then opens the door and closes it without looking back.

///

**month twenty-eight. docks, storybrooke, maine.**

He sits staring at the horizon.

His mind is in a hundred different places and he _knows_ why he can’t move on with the band. It’s because of his father.

Killian finds that as he contemplates his life now, with Charlie in it, that he can relate to his father. He wants his son to have everything. He wants him to have his best chance at living his life from the start. And he knows that if Charlie ever resented him for something, he’d ask for forgiveness, just as Brennan has asked of he and Liam.

It’s not easy to forgive his father- he still feels it heavy in his chest- but he knows deeper still that his father doesn’t deserve to be shunned for the rest of what time he has left on this Earth.

Killian wipes at the tears in his eyes as he thinks back on the conversation he’d had with the band. He loves music. It’s been in his blood from an early age. And he loves the band, too. Leaving them would be more difficult than any breakup he’s ever been through.

Therein lies his inner turmoil. How does he forgive his father? How does he move forward from here? He’s ignored this struggle for so long that it’s finally come to a head and he doesn’t know how to take one step forward or back.

“Killian,”

He looks up at the sound of his name and discovers his father standing a few feet before him. He appears worn, but a smile fills his cheeks and he admires him just the same as he has any other time they’ve spoken.

Killian swallows the lump in his throat and sits up straight.

“I’m surprised to see you here.” Brennan says warmly. “How have you been?”

Killian shakes his head and swallows again. “Papa, I’m-”

He sees his father’s eyes soften and he moves to sit beside him. Killian stares at the man and takes a steadying breath.

As Killian studies the man before him, he realizes that there is nothing but a desperate desire resting in his father’s gaze, a longing to know Killian, to truly listen and understand.

He feels it in his chest. There’s something about having a child of his own now, understanding that unconditional love so truly, that he can see the same look in his father’s eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been awful to you and you don’t deserve it.” Killian says. “I-” He pauses and smiles timidly, pride welling up inside of him as he thinks about his son. “Emma and I just had a baby. A boy.”

Killian smiles a little more and he sees his father’s eyes brighten, his smile spreading in disbelief. “Really?”

“Aye,” Killian beams. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and shows him a picture he’d taken of his son. “His name’s Charlie.”

“Charlie,” Brennan repeats, still studying the image on his phone.

He looks away from it and at Killian again. He has a dazedly happy look on his face, his eyes bright and warm, a soothing sight to see.

It’s clear to Killian that his father regrets much of his life’s choices, what he did to Killian and Liam included, and Killian feels a tug at his heart because of the way his father’s smile falls in order to maintain distance from him.

“He’s a beautiful lad.”

Killian nods. He presses his lips together and sets his phone down in his lap. “He was born a week ago.” He searches his father’s eyes. “I realized I can’t push you away. You’re my father. Charlie’s grandfather.”

Brennan gets an embarrassed look on his face, crinkles pinching at the corners of his eyes as he looks away from him, at the horizon.

“And I know now what you must be here for is truly to reconnect with us. You don’t care about the band or any of my success. You missed everything and you want to fix it, even if it is later than you would’ve liked. At least you’re here now. At least you’re trying.”

Killian watches as his father turns to face him after a moment of silent contemplation. “I don’t know what to say.”

Killian shakes his head. He smiles a little. “It’s alright. I don’t know either.”

Brennan smiles with him and then wraps his arm around his shoulders, leaning his head into his. “I have missed you more than words can explain.”

///

**month twenty-eight. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma has Charlie in his chair while she puts one of the pre-made dinners into the oven. Buddy is at her feet, excitedly demanding attention, and she sighs on a smile when she finally relents and gives it to him when she collapses into the chair at the kitchen table.

Killian has been gone for a few hours and she doesn’t know what to think of his absence, especially since it had followed a rather extensive, loud argument with the band.

Emma scratches behind Buddy’s ears and is rewarded with a happy look on her pup’s face. She can’t help but smile a little.

The front door opens and she hears two voices, something that brings her to her feet fast. She heads around the table and to the hall, stopping when she sees her husband standing there with an older gentleman, one with eerily similar features.

“Emma,” Killian smiles as he steps up to her. He holds out his arm to the man. “This is… my father. Brennan Jones.” He turns to his father. “Papa, this is my wife, Emma.”

Emma’s eyes widen and she wraps her loose cardigan closer as she smiles at the man. She holds out her hand to shake his and he nods at her as he shakes.

“It’s a pleasure meeting you, Emma. Killian has told me quite a bit about you.”

Confused, she looks at her husband, and he just wraps his arm around her middle and kisses her temple before murmuring in her ear, “It’s alright, love.”

Killian looks around. “Where’s Charlie?”

She takes a soft breath. “He’s in the kitchen.”

Emma barely gets the words out before Killian goes that way, and Emma is stuck standing alone with her father-in-law, whom she has only heard horrible things about.

She smiles at him, though, because if Killian can feel safe and confident sharing his family with this man, he clearly has good reason to. And she knows forgiveness towards him can’t have come easily.

Killian re-enters with Charlie in his arms and when he stops beside Brennan, he meets his father’s gaze.

“Papa, this is Charlie.” Killian says. He smiles as he looks down at the bundle in his arms. “Charlie, this is your grandfather.”

Emma watches as Killian settles Charlie into his father’s arms, and her heart squeezes tight, because this moment means more to her than any moment she has experienced with Charlie or Killian thus far.

“He’s even more handsome in person,” Brennan grins. He reaches down to stroke his cheek. The man looks up at them and winks. “You did a fine job.”

Emma folds her arms and tilts her head to the side as a smile fills her lips. “Thank you.”

Killian meets her gaze and he says, “I was thinking he could join us for supper tonight, if that’s alright.”

Emma nods. She looks at her father-in-law and smiles warmly. “Of course. I’d love to get to know him.”

///

“So do you want to tell me what happened earlier today?” Emma asks as she lies beside her husband in the darkness of their bedroom.

He takes a deep breath and then turns onto his side to face her. Their eyes meet and he reaches for her hand to take it. He holds it between them as he considers his words.

“The band and I got into a bit of an argument. Robin accused me of being selfish in regards to the band, and I can’t blame him for it. I was supposed to be their leader. I was supposed to make decisions that would help us as a group in the stage of life we’re in and I wasn’t doing it because I was so… caught up in my own head.”

Killian closes his eyes and squeezes her hand. Emma gazes at him as his eyes open again and she takes her hand away from his to cup his cheek. She soothes over the apple of his cheek with her thumb and sighs.

It doesn’t feel _great_ that Killian got into a fight with his band, but it honestly has been a long while coming.

They’ve been stagnant for a few months now and she knows they’re all itching for something to do, preferably with music.

“Your dad is a kind man,” Emma tells him. “He reminds me a lot of you.”

Killian smiles a little as her hand falls away from his face and he exhales. “I finally realized why he came back to us and it wasn’t because of fame or money.”

Killian glances toward the foot of their bed, toward the place where Charlie sleeps. She can hear him breathing and it provides her with comfort.

“Charlie has taught me a lot in the week he’s been here with us.”

Emma smiles in agreement. “Me too.”

She watches her husband hesitate with something in his mind. He shakes his head, then rolls onto his back again. He places his hand over his eyes and bites down on his lip.

“They asked me to leave the band and they want you to quit being the manager.”

Emma’s heart skips a beat, but she manages to stay calm. She blinks a few times and averts her gaze. “Oh.”

Killian swallows. “I think… talking with my father today helped.”

“Do you think you want to try?” Emma asks softly.

Her husband turns his head toward her and settles his arm over his head. He doesn’t seem to know what he wants at all, and it makes her sad, because he once was so sure of himself.

“Hey,” she murmurs, sliding closer to him.

Emma presses her ear over his heart and her palm over his chest. Killian’s arm falls around her backside and he holds her there. They lie there for a few silent moments and she finally peels back just enough to look him in the eyes.

“I believe in you. No matter what you decide to do with your life. I’m here.” Emma tells him quietly. “I just don’t want you to look back at your life and have regrets that you didn’t follow your dream. I know you love me and I know you love Charlie. We’ll be with you the whole way, Killian. Don’t… you don’t need to stay here. I want you to go travel the world with your friends and play music to people that want to hear it. And I want you to meet people whose lives were changed like mine was.”

Killian’s eyes are glassy and she reaches up to wipe at the first tear that falls. “It was so hard before, Emma. How-” He forces himself to breathe and shakes his head. “How do you expect it’ll be any easier now that I know what his fingers feel like wrapped around mine, or the way he smells after a bath, or after a changing?”

Emma shakes her head and manages a smile, though it does weigh heavy upon her own heart, too. “Tours are going to suck. But we’ll be with you. We’ll be there as much as we can, okay? And if we have to go home we can make sure it isn’t for long.”

“Okay,” he whispers.

“It’s not easy for me, either, you know,” Emma mumbles, falling into his chest again. She wraps her arm around his middle.

Killian kisses the top of her head. “I know, love.”

“I just want so much for you guys.” Emma says. “That’s why I worked so hard while I was managing you before I found out I was pregnant. You had given me so much at the beginning when we got married. I never found a way to show you how much I cared. Until I started organizing shows and everything.”

Killian’s silence makes her pull back again. He stares at her with sad eyes. “Swan, I know you care for me.”

Emma smiles sadly. “Now you do.”

“No.” Killian promises, smiling warmly. “I have known for a long time that you care for me. I see it in your eyes every time you look at me. I hear it in your voice when you laugh or talk or sing. I see it in your smile and I feel it in your touch.”

She tilts her head at her husband and he traces his eyes over her face in adoration.

“You remind me every single day why I am so damn lucky that it was you who walked through those doors on our wedding day.”

Emma silences him with a kiss and he smiles against her as his hand slides through her hair. She pulls back and settles against his chest once again, loving the way he curls his arm around her and clings so closely to her.

“What are you going to do?” she asks as she cracks her jaw on a yawn.

“I’ll tell the band I want to take the deal.”

Emma smiles as she closes her eyes. “Good.”


	15. Chapter 15

fifteen.

**month twenty-eight. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

“Oh my goodness, you are the sweetest, cutest, littlest baby,” Elsa gasps, reaching out to take him from Emma’s arms. “Hi Charlie. I’m so happy I finally get to meet you.”

Emma watches with fondness as Elsa allows Charlie to curl his fingers around one of hers, and a delighted smile fills her sister-in-law’s lips, crinkling at her eyes.

“How has he been?” she asks, looking back up at Emma.

They’re sitting in the living room while their husbands talk on the porch about something regarding the gutters, and Emma has to smile, because getting to see Elsa is a gift in and of itself.

“He’s been great,” Emma says. “He’s pretty quiet and he doesn’t mind it when Buddy barks loudly. And he sleeps pretty well.”

Elsa grins. “Oh, good.”

She looks down at the boy in her arms and smiles as she caresses his cheek. She brings him to her lips so she can give his forehead a few kisses.

“How have things been with Liam?” Emma asks.

Elsa takes a breath and smiles. “Good. I’ve been looking for work but it’s hard to come by around here. I was in TV for so long that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to not have a job. I don’t regret resigning. I love life here.”

Emma nods in agreement.

“So in the meanwhile I’ve been helping Mary Margaret with the children and sometimes I go visit Anna and Kristoff. Other than that I’m pretty much boring myself to sleep.”

Emma laughs. “Enjoy it while you can. Being a mom is harder than you think it is. I haven’t had half as much sleep as I’d like this past week. Despite him being pretty good at it.”

It’s then that the boys return, and soon, Liam and Killian enter the room. Liam clicks his tongue against his cheek.

“I hope you’re not giving my wife ideas, Emma,” Liam teases.

They laugh and Emma stands so she can hug her brother-in-law. He smiles when they part and then easily sits beside Elsa on the couch.

Charlie makes a noise as Elsa holds him out to Liam, and Liam gets a look on his face that is sweeter than any. He drops a kiss to Charlie’s head and beams up at them after a moment of gazing into the newborn’s face.

“He is a stunning lad,” Liam informs them.

Emma laughs softly. “Thank you.”

Killian wraps his arm around Emma’s middle and she looks up at her husband. “He gets his good looks from Emma.”

She rolls her eyes and swats his chest. “No way.”

When Charlie falls asleep in Liam’s arms, Emma takes him to his chair and rests him in it with a blanket and his stuffed monkey. Then, she returns to the couches and their company.

“So, how are things with the band?” Elsa asks. “Are you lot going to sign with a label anytime soon or will you be on hiatus?”

Killian takes a deep breath. “Well, that’s a bit of a loaded question. We had an argument just the other day about whether or not I’d be continuing on with them.”

“Oh,” Elsa shifts, looking concerned.

Killian looks at Emma and his hand finds hers. Their fingers lace between each other easily. “I spoke with our father, Liam.”

Liam smiles a little. “Aye?”

Killian nods, a smile playing at his lips as well. “Aye. He met Emma and Charlie and we shared supper.” He pauses. “Charlie changed the way I saw him. I understand him now.”

Liam’s eyes brighten in agreement. He nods. “So you’ve forgiven him.”

Emma finds herself staring at Killian’s profile, at the way his jaw tightens as his shoulders drop and he nods his head. “Aye.”

The older Jones brother doesn’t say anything, and Emma doesn’t think he needs to.

“Anyway, Emma and I have been talking about this for a long time,” Killian says and his grip on her hand tightens as he glances toward her. She offers him a smile for strength. “And we’ve decided that it’ll be difficult, but I love music and I can’t walk away from it right now.”

Elsa has a little smile on her lips, a knowing twinkle in her eye as she looks between Liam and Killian, as if she can see the similarities between the two brothers clear as day. Emma can too, she realizes as she studies Liam and the way he nods his head.

“You do love it quite a bit,” Liam agrees. “I’d hate to see you walk away unless you felt it was time.”

Killian sighs. “Aye.” He draws his free hand up into his hair and Emma watches him as he turns his attention to his brother directly. “Liam, do you think it’s the right decision? To do this?”

Liam looks between them when Emma’s gaze finds him and he shakes his head slightly, a laugh slipping past his lips. “Little brother-”

“Younger-”

“I know, _younger_ brother,” Liam tosses a hand at Killian. “You know you don’t always have to ask me what I think. I’m not as perfect as you like to imagine.”

Killian gives his brother a look and in turn releases Emma’s hand in order to press it against his bouncing knee. “I don’t think you’re _perfect_. I just think you’re smarter than me. You’ve always known what’s best for me even when I didn’t.”

Liam, in all of his brotherly wisdom, looks to Emma, and points his finger at her as his gaze turns pointed on Killian. “If you and Emma have spoken I think it’s clear what the _right_ decision is.” He smiles. “If it’s wrong, it’ll feel that way.”

Killian nods. She sees a little blush in his cheeks, as if he’s a little boy being scolded by his teacher, and Emma presses her hand against his arm, hoping she can soothe him a little.

He smiles down at her and takes a soft breath. She sees nothing but confirmation in his eyes, as if he’s made a firm decision here and now that _yes_ , he wants to do this, and yes, it will be hard, but they’re in it together.

Emma finds that she loves him just a little bit more, if it’s even possible.

“I hope Charlie likes hearing me sing,” he says, lightening the mood. “Because he’ll have to listen to us play quite a bit.”

Emma chuckles. “Don’t worry. He loves it when you sing.”

Her husband’s arm goes around her middle and it allows her to lean closer to him, to breathe in the scent of his freshly showered skin.

“The only thing I’m worried about is the fact that I don’t know how we’ll be managed any longer, because Emma’s got to take care of Charlie.” Killian admits. “The guys were rather frustrated with the whole situation, I think. They just didn’t know what to think and they thought having Emma leave would be the best idea. It’s not.”

Killian stares at her for a moment and her heart feels heavy, mostly because the guys had actually told him that they want her to quit. She knows they’d probably been just arguing and fired up, but their words had to carry some truth.

“Are you sure?” she asks.

He gives her a look. “Darling, they don’t know what they had with you as manager, that’s all.”

She feels a little better, especially when he rubs his hand down her arm and she buries herself ever closer to him.

Emma looks at Elsa then, and an idea makes a smile spread across her face. “Elsa? What do you think? You up for managing five pirates?”

Elsa holds open her mouth and slowly, a smile spreads. She laughs. “What?”

Killian laughs and she can tell he’s into the spirit of things. “Elsa! Why didn’t I think of you sooner? You’d be perfect.”

Emma’s eyes stay with Elsa, who looks contemplative, though she also seems blown away. Her eyes are wide and she holds her mouth open as she looks to Liam.

He shrugs, a warm grin on his face. “I’ll leave it up to you, my dear.”

Elsa narrows her eyes at him slightly and shoves him in the arm playfully. “You’re no help!”

She turns back to Emma and Killian as Liam laughs.

“It wouldn’t be full time,” Emma says, trying to quell any nerves Elsa has about it. “I can do some stuff. And you could stay here. You wouldn’t have to come touring or anything.”

Elsa bites down on her lip and takes a deep breath as her hands clap together. She holds them together before her heart and a sweet, gentle smile fills her lips as laughter comes bubbling out of her throat.

“You know what? Absolutely. I would love that.”

///

**month twenty-eight. diner, storybrooke, maine.**

Killian sits in the diner’s one massive corner booth with Emma and Elsa.

The guys sit on the opposite side of he and the ladies and he knows they feel bad about the bad blood between them, because they all look miserable.

“Thank you for agreeing to meet,” Killian says, to which the band members all nod and smile just a little.

“Yeah.”

“No problem.”

Robin shakes his head and holds out a hand. His brow is creased miserably. “Killian, we want you to know we didn’t mean what we said. You’re… you’re a good leader and Emma’s a fantastic manager.”

“Yeah,” Whale and Jefferson both agree at the same time.

Killian smiles a little at his band mates and bobs his head. “Aye. You’re forgiven.”

Killian looks at Emma for strength and then down at the stroller beside her, where Charlie is, and his heart swells as he turns back to the guys.

“I decided that I want to do this. I want to sign a record deal and I want to make music with you lot until we’re old and can’t stand being around each other.”

Robin grins and bobs his head. “That’s what I like to hear, Killian.”

Whale and Jefferson both offer Killian a high-five and Killian gives it to them. Will just smiles and claps Killian on the shoulder, seeing as he’s sitting closest to him.

“I wasn’t even worried a moment.” Will says. “You’re a pirate. Always have been.”

Killian chuckles. He shrugs and lifts his eyebrows. Emma gives him a look when he turns to see her and it only makes him laugh again before he looks to his friends again.

“So I know you had your grievances about Emma managing us with a newborn in the mix, and we’ve come up with something of a compromise. Emma will be with us and do some light management duties, but Elsa will balance it out. Whatever Emma can’t do, Elsa will. As long as it’s alright with you, of course.”

Robin frowns as if he thinks it’s a good idea and tilts his head to the side a few times in thought. “I do think that could work.”

“Agreed.” Whale says. “I like that idea.”

“Same.” Jeff nods.

When Killian looks at Will, he shrugs. “A’ight. Sounds good to me.”

Killian smiles and nods his head in the affirmative as he turns to his sister-in-law. Elsa blushes just a little and smiles as she takes a deep breath.

“Thank you, you guys. I’ll do my best.”

Emma pats Elsa on the arm and they both laugh together happily. Killian, feeling relief in his chest over the whole situation, straightens and smiles wide.

“Alright. I guess it’s time to make a phone call, gentlemen.”

He has never heard his friends half as loud as they are when they cheer.

///

**month twenty-eight. _the jewel of the realm_ , storybrooke, maine.**

Killian pushes the stroller while they walk through town after the big phone call to the label.

It feels _good_. He feels like he’s higher than he’s been in quite some time and he doesn’t think anything could take from that.

Emma has her arm through his and she smiles when they approach his boat. “It’s been awhile since we’ve been here.”

“Well, I figured, since we’re out, and Charlie hasn’t seen her,” Killian tilts his head to the side, smiling as he stares down at his son. “Perhaps now is as good a time as any to introduce them.”

Emma carries Charlie and Killian folds up the stroller with only the slightest of difficulties, and then they stand on deck of the ship that had been rather important to them during their first year of marriage.

Emma smiles at him and cradles Charlie close, brushing her lips against the crown of his head.

“May I?” Killian asks, holding out his hands.

Emma nods in agreement and then they make the exchange.

Killian adjusts Charlie’s blanket and clears his throat. “Alright, lad. I want to introduce you to my ship. _The Jewel of the Realm_.”

He glances over at Emma when she laughs.

Killian arches his eyebrows. “Is something funny, Mummy?”

Emma smiles, biting down on her lower lip. Her cheeks are rosy and full and she has nothing short of mirth in her eyes. “No.”

Killian hums skeptically and then pinches her side, making her jump and squeak, much to his delight. He chuckles victoriously and kisses Charlie’s head.

“Okay, Charlie. Let’s show you the wheel and the navigation.”

From his perch at the wheel, Killian glances up to find Emma snapping a picture of he and Charlie with her phone, and he throws on the cheesiest smile he can, holding their baby up so she can see him.

Emma laughs, rolling her eyes. “Stop being such a dork. It’ll rub off on Charlie!”

“I am not being a dork!” Killian defends himself. He shakes his head at his son as he settles him straight again. “Charlie, I’m not a dork. Your mum is just jealous because she doesn’t understand sailing terms.”

Emma meets him at the wheel and swats the back of his head before she turns to their son. “I’m not jealous. Daddy’s just very silly and I love him for it.”

“And, I should clarify, Charlie, your mum is also quite silly sometimes. I also love her quite a bit for that.”

Killian grins at Emma and she pushes up on her toes to give him a sweet kiss. With his eyes closed and her lips against his, he can’t imagine a happier feeling. He’s standing on his ship with his family and things are _good_ for the first time in what feels like an eternity.

Not even a ghost of anxiety or sadness tugs at the peripherals of his heart, and as he pulls away from Emma, he finds her smirking at him while her fingers bury into his hair.

She tugs at his hair once and shakes her head. “You’re still a dork, though.”

Killian scoffs. He looks down at Charlie. “I am not a dork, no matter what your mum says, Son.”

Emma laughs warmly and her arm goes around his back as her cheek rests against his arm. “I love this. I love you.”

Killian’s heart squeezes tight and he shifts to bury his nose in her hair. He leaves a kiss there and murmurs, “And I love you.”

///

**month twenty-eight. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma sighs as she sits up in bed. She’s exhausted, but Charlie is still feeding, and Killian has his laptop out.

“What’s going on?” she asks when he cracks a wide grin.

“Ah…” he glances up at her and shakes his head. “They’ve just announced we’re in talks to be signed with them. Paperwork is logistics at this point, apparently.”

Emma chuckles. “How are the fans taking it?”

Killian shifts on the bed and draws his computer up onto his knees as he holds them up. He clears his throat. “Finally!”

Emma laughs again and looks down at Charlie, meeting his drooping eyes. Her heart swells as Killian continues to read.

“Yay!” “I’m excited!” “Oh, and this one is just a lot of emojis and exclamation marks.”

Emma laughs as she lifts Charlie to give him a few gentle pats to his back.

Killian becomes quiet and she settles Charlie down into her arms again. His breathing slows as she stares at him and she smiles, because she can see Killian in him when he closes his eyes one final time.

His fingers make a fist in her shirt and she’s content in holding him as he sleeps for a while, so she turns her attention to Killian and finds his expression angry.

“What’s wrong, Killian?”

Her husband’s jaw clenches and he shakes his head. “‘s nothing you need worry about.”

Emma gives him a look when he shuts his laptop rather fiercely. “Seriously?”

Killian stares at Emma and takes a deep breath. “Darling, it’s nothing.”

“What are people saying?” she asks, making her voice firmer.

He hesitates and runs his hand over his head. “They’re… some people are being rather nasty.”

“About?”

Killian swallows. “About you.” He shakes his head fiercely. “Bloody hell. I knew it would come to this eventually I just…” He turns his gaze to Charlie and it softens him just a little. “I can’t stop them from saying what they’ve said, so there’s no reason to be angry.”

Emma drops her shoulders and lets her head fall to the side. “Killian-”

Killian sets his computer onto his nightstand and slides down into bed. He turns to the side, away from her, and she knows he’s going to just be angry until he’s not, so Emma sighs and kisses Charlie’s head before she rises from bed to let him sleep for a few hours in peace.

Emma returns to bed after watching her boy for a few moments and then flicks her lamp off. She slides down into bed and stares up at the ceiling, her fingers toying with her engagement ring as she contemplates what vile words could make her husband so angry.

“You know, they say you shouldn’t go to bed angry. It makes you get acne.” Emma says.

Killian is quiet for a few moments. “That’s not even a little true.”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. That’s just what they say.”

Killian flips onto his back and they both turn their heads to look at each other.

“Whatever it was, I don’t think you should worry about it.” Emma says.

Killian sighs. “I know, love, it was just… an attack on you. How on Earth am I supposed to defend you from all of these nasty remarks?”

Emma shakes her head. “I don’t know. You can’t.”

“You’re my best friend. You’re my wife. You’re the mother of my son.” Killian says, losing the strength in his voice as his brow creases. “And I have to sit here and let them say things about you and about the validity of our marriage?”

Her heart aches and she turns onto her side, sliding into him. She doesn’t say anything, and neither does he, as she rests her head below his chin and his arms wrap around her. Killian kisses her head and holds her tight.

She doesn’t know how long they lie there in silence. It could be minutes. It could be hours.

“I’m yours,” she promises him quietly. “I’m always yours.”

Killian’s chest shakes a little beneath her and he holds her tighter. “Aye, love,” he whispers. “And I’m yours.”


	16. Chapter 16

sixteen.

**month twenty-eight. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma wakes to feed Charlie at five in the morning and Killian’s alarm goes off as she’s sitting up in bed beside him. He groans, setting his arm over his face, and Emma sighs softly.

“You have a plane to catch, babe,” she murmurs tiredly.

“Aye,” he grumbles, not budging. “I’d rather forego negotiations in person in lieu of just one hour more with you.”

Emma rolls her eyes. She nudges him in the leg with her foot as she feeds Charlie. “Come on, Killian, you have a job to do. You’ll be fine after some coffee.”

Her husband drops his arm and narrows his eyes at her in the dim light of the room. His tiredness is sympathized. She sighs. “You should be excited. You don’t have to wake up every few hours for feedings and changings and tears.”

“I’ll only be gone for a few days, love,” Killian mumbles. He slides upright and reaches in to play with Charlie’s toes. He sets his chin on her shoulder and exhales through his nose sharply. “Are you certain you’ll be able to do this?”

Emma smiles as she stares at Charlie. “Yeah. It’ll be hard but Mary Margaret’s here and she said she’d come by every so often to check on me.”

Killian pulls away just so he can press a kiss to the spot below her ear. “Alright. I’ll go.”

Emma reaches up with her free hand and gently pats his bearded cheek. He hasn’t shaved in a few days, longer than he usually goes, so he’s become something of a lumberjack, and she smiles because of it.

“You better.” She teases.

Killian takes twenty minutes to get ready, and by then, Emma has Charlie back in his bed asleep. She wraps up in a blanket and sits on their bed while she watches him pack up a duffel, and when he’s finished, he heaves a sigh.

He goes to Charlie and Emma watches as he gazes down at their son. “I’ll be back before you know it, Charlie. Be good for Mummy.” He leans down to kiss him. “I love you.”

Emma’s heart aches, almost unexpectedly, and she watches as Killian turns back around to face her. He grabs his bag and tilts his head to the door. “Walk me out?”

She rolls her eyes, but she nods, and they go downstairs in a heavy silence.

Emma watches him make himself coffee from her spot leaning against the counter, her arms folded. As she stares at their fridge, she can’t help but smile at the photographs pinned there.

Pictures of them when they were newly married, of their pregnancy announcement to the world, of Charlie’s fingers and toes. There are pictures of them taken a few months ago, too, while they were bored one weekend and laid in bed. Killian just took a dozen pictures and strung them together and there they all hang.

Her heart is full as she stares at the image of Killian giving her cheek a kiss while she laughs happily.

Sometimes, they have good days, and then there are days like today where she has to say goodbye and pray that Charlie doesn’t decide to be cranky. And she knows there’ll be plenty more of these days to come, especially with their lives constantly changing and moving.

But she wants this for Killian. She wants him to do music because it’s something he does so naturally, almost as naturally as he breathes.

“I’ll call you when I land,” Killian promises.

Emma turns to him, a smile on her lips. “Okay. And you’ll take pictures of everything and text me updates. And I’ll hear all about your shenanigans when you come home.”

Killian’s tired expression shifts into a big smile. He steps away from the coffee he made himself, leaving it on the counter, and moves in front of her, settling his hands over her hips.

“Aye,” he murmurs. He studies her face. “And I’ll pick out a souvenir for you if you’re good.”

Emma rolls her eyes and swats the back of his head. It makes him chuckle before he kisses her and she sighs as they part moments later, their foreheads touching in the heartbeats after.

“I’m proud of you,” she whispers, curling her hands over his heart as she searches for his eyes. “And I know you’ll be great out there.”

Killian’s smile fades nervously and he nods, averting his gaze. He pivots away from her, only moving one hand to grab his bag from the floor and shift it onto his shoulder. He takes his coffee and then leans forward to kiss her forehead.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

///

As exhausted as she is, Emma only manages to sleep for a few hours.

The moment she wakes, it’s to the sound of her phone going off, and she discovers Killian’s face on her screen. She smiles softly and pulls it to her ear.

“Hey,” she manages to say, her voice tired.

It’s loud where he is. “We’ve just landed. I’m standing outside the terminal waiting for the ride to the hotel. Robin’s here.”

“Hey, Emma!” Robin cheers into the phone.

Emma chuckles softly. “Hi.”

“Did you just wake up, love?” Killian asks, a smile in his tone.

Emma presses her hand over her eye. “Guilty as charged.”

Killian hums. “The flight was smooth and I probably would’ve slept, but there was a little boy that looked just like Charlie sitting in the row across from me.”

The thought tugs at her heart and she smiles softly.

“We miss you,” Emma tells him, shifting to sit up. “Charlie’s sleeping but when he wakes up I’m sure he’ll hate having you gone.”

“I miss you a lot more than I thought I would,” Killian admits. “Which to begin with was quite a bit.”

Emma smiles softly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Killian pauses and she hears the guys chatting around him. “Anyway, I won’t keep you. I just wanted to let you know I made it.”

“It’s nice to hear your voice,” Emma admits. “Thank you for calling.”

“Aye, love,” Killian murmurs. “I- okay, alright- I should go, Sweetheart. I’ll call later tonight before Charlie goes to sleep. I’d like to say hello.”

She can’t help but love that about Killian. “Okay. See you then. I love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Emma hangs up and almost as if he knows, Charlie starts to cry. Emma exhales harshly. “Like clockwork.”

///

When Mary Margaret comes to check on Emma, it’s while Charlie is having a particularly loud meltdown that Emma can’t seem to soothe.

She’s frustrated, because she misses Killian, and she doesn’t really know what she’s doing. She’s only been doing this for a week, after all.

“I don’t know what to do,” Emma panics.

Mary Margaret shakes her head. “It’s okay. Hey. It’s okay.” She smiles at her. “What have you tried?”

“It’s not his diaper and he’s not hungry and he just woke up from a nap, so it’s not that-“

Emma hands him to Mary Margaret when she offers and Charlie’s cries soften just a bit when she takes the blanket off. “Are you warm, Charlie? Is that all? Yeah.”

Mary Margaret smiles down at Charlie after discarding the blanket and she undoes his outfit. “Okay. That’s better.”

His cries completely dampen down and Emma lets go of her pent up breath. It feels like a slap in the face, because she _didn’t think of_ _that_ and _how couldn’t she think of that_ , but she’s also relieved, because Charlie isn’t sobbing in her ears anymore.

“Not a big deal,” Mary Margaret promises on a smile. “Other than this, how are you doing, Emma? Do you need anything?”

Emma truthfully feels stretched thin. She hasn’t showered all day and she’s been thrown up on a handful of times. She hasn’t eaten since breakfast and she has a lot she needs to do.

She could probably cry, but she knows if she breaks down completely, she’ll lose every ounce of stability she’s managed to hold onto today.

“I’m fine,” Emma lies.

She just needs Mary Margaret to leave, because she needs to prove to herself that she can cope on her own. It’ll be like this soon enough, with Emma taking care of Charlie all by herself for extended periods of time, and if she can’t get a hold on it now, when will she?

Mary Margaret sighs. “Okay.” She stands there hesitantly. “Are you sure? Because I can help out. That’s why I came over.”

“It’s fine,” Emma promises. “I’m fine.”

Her friend reads straight through her and nods skeptically regardless. “Okay. I’ll be at home if you need me.” She pauses. “How long will he be gone?”

Emma takes a breath. “He’ll be back in a week. There’s a lot of legal jargon and stuff to sign. And… I don’t know they were talking about meeting with some other people while they’re out there. Something about writing another song.”

Mary Margaret bobs her head. Emma knows it all goes over her head- the band. But she also knows Mary Margaret cares, so so much, about Emma and about the family she has now.

“That’s pretty exciting,” she smiles. She stares down at Charlie. “Your daddy is so talented, Charlie. Do you know that? Do you know how much he loves you? He loves you so much he had to leave you for just a few days so he can be with you and play you music all the time.”

Mary Margaret lowers a kiss to Charlie’s head and he clutches at her shirt, making her chuckle softly. She turns her gaze to Emma and takes a soft breath.

“Make sure you’re eating and make sure you’re sleeping. That’s _so_ important.”

Emma nods. “I know.”

Her friend gives her a rather pointed look, her tone turning stern, “I’m going to come back in a few hours and if you haven’t eaten by then I want you to let me make you something.”

“Fine, _Mom_.” Emma rolls her eyes teasingly.

Mary Margaret smiles and reaches out to give Emma the baby again. Emma takes him, smiling as she stares into his face.

“Motherhood looks good on you, Emma.”

Emma smiles still as she looks at her friend. She blushes warmly and Mary Margaret just grins before she reaches out to squeeze her arm and leaves her be.

///

Thankfully, Charlie goes to sleep, and it means she can get herself something to eat, and put on another shirt.

Though, she’s beyond stressed with the weight of doing everything on her own and feeling as if she can barely handle it. She definitely misses Killian and everything he does on a daily basis. She has doubts as to whether or not they’ll have clean clothes at all by the end of this week.

As she’s resting at the kitchen table with her lunch and her laptop open, she nibbles on her lip and considers Killian’s behavior a few nights prior.

Her curiosity about what was said gnaws at her and she wonders too much about it, so she opens up Killian’s social media pages and finds what he was talking about.

It shocks her and she can’t help but feel sadness. And it’s not because the attacks are so rude and oblivious. It’s because there are people that would think so lowly of her _and_ of her marriage to Killian.

Emma swallows and bites on her lip as tears well up in her eyes.

There are a handful of these comments, one after the other, and she knows it’s just from a handful of people, but she can’t help but be affected by them.

Especially now that she and Killian have Charlie.

Maybe she isn’t enough. Maybe this week she’s going to be with Charlie on her own will prove that she’s not a good wife or mother, like these people insinuate.

She discovers something on Killian’s Twitter feed, though, that his profile picture is one she took at a show of him playing his guitar, and his biography reads: _lead singer of The Pirates, married to my best friend, sailor, new papa._

The latest thing he wrote was linked to a post on his Instagram, and when she clicks to it she finds that picture of them she’d been staring at earlier that morning- the one where they’re lazy in bed and he’s kissing her cheek while she laughs because of something he’d said.

_Always and forever, my love._

And she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he had done it just for her, knowing she’d come searching for the words that curiosity had come begging her to look for.

///

She feels broken down by the end of the day. As she lies in bed with Charlie beside her, she waits for Killian to call on baited breath with tears burning at the back of her eyes.

She isn’t let down. He calls her and he looks so excited the moment she accepts the video call that she can’t help but smile in return.

Tears burn behind her eyes and she feels weary, but seeing Killian makes everything a little better.

“Hi!” he grins. He’s sitting in his hotel room and sun pours in from the windows, reminding her he’s several hours behind.

“Hey, Daddy,” she says, setting the phone up by Charlie’s face so they can see one another.

Killian smiles so sweetly then and she thinks she sees tears in his eyes, too. “Hey, Charlie. I missed you today, my boy.”

Charlie puts his hand on the screen and Emma laughs, pressing a kiss to his head. “He missed you too. A lot. Right, Charlie? You missed Daddy a lot.”

Killian stares at their son and Charlie makes a noise. Emma frowns when Charlie starts to sob a little and she sets her phone down so she can take Charlie into her arms.

Killian suddenly begins to sing, without his guitar, Charlie’s lullaby, and it makes Emma lose it. Tears streak down her cheeks and she sniffles as she smiles, because it’s so bittersweet.

Charlie falls asleep easily to the sound of his voice after he’s finished eating and Emma holds him for a little while after Killian’s finished singing. She lifts her phone and shows Killian the sleeping newborn against her.

“He’s sleeping so good,” she whispers. She turns the camera to her and smiles. “I really… today wasn’t easy. I missed you a lot, babe.”

Killian’s brow creases sadly and he nods. “I know, love. It’ll take time to adjust.”

She takes a shaky breath and stares at him. “It’s hard.”

“You’ll come with me next time. Both of you. He’ll be old enough to travel soon enough.”

Emma nods. “Yeah.” She manages a smile. “I can’t wait.”

Her husband smiles warmly back at her. “I think I found you a good souvenir.”

Emma raises an eyebrow. “You did?”

Killian drags his teeth against his lower lip and glances to the bed beside him. “I’d show you, but I think I’d rather give it to you in person.”

She hums skeptically. “How was today? Did you do anything?”

“Aye,” he grins. “We went around the city for a bit with some people from the label and they’ll be taking us to dinner in an hour or so. They showed us the studio and it’s quite nice.”

Emma smiles and she admires the way Killian’s eyes light up, because it means he’s happy. It means he’s certain of himself and of what he wants. And that’s all she’s ever wanted for him.

“Everyone wants to see pictures of Charlie,” Killian tells her, laughing. Emma laughs with him and looks down at the baby in her arms.

“Are you having fun?” Emma asks, returning her gaze to her phone.

Killian’s expression softens and he nods. “As much fun as I can have without you here with me. I kept thinking of you all afternoon.”

Emma rolls her head against her shoulder. “Don’t worry about me, Killian. I’m fine.” He arches an eyebrow and she sighs. “I’ll be fine.”

“I know this isn’t entirely ideal,” he tells her. “So thank you for letting me come out here to sign papers and sit through boring meetings for a week.”

She laughs. “I miss you.”

Killian smiles, probably because he made her laugh, and nods in agreement. “I miss you too, darling. I’ll be home in… six sleeps.”

Emma peels back a sweet smile and nods. “Six sleeps.”


	17. Chapter 17

seventeen.

**month thirty. studio, los angeles, california.**

Killian nurses a cup of coffee while he listens to Robin play a riff on his guitar.

He has been exhausted lately, because Charlie’s two months old going on three, and while they’ve been attempting to get him onto a sleeping schedule that works, Charlie doesn’t really like that idea when they’re staying for a few weeks out in California.

Killian’s phone rings and he smiles when he finds that Emma wants to video chat. He pulls away from his spot in the studio to go into the break room, where it’s quieter.

As soon as he approves the chat, Emma has a big smile on her face. She’s wearing her glasses because she’d forgotten her contacts in their rush to get out of the house, and in her lap, she’s holding Charlie, whose voice is loud already.

“Morning, Daddy,” Emma says as she adjusts the camera so he can see his son. “Guess who just woke up and was all smiles?”

Killian chuckles. “Hi Charlie.”

Charlie smiles at him with his mouth wide open and he reaches out to touch the screen, something that makes him go soft. Emma tickles his side and Charlie starts to laugh, a sound that delights Killian to no end.

“How are things going?” Emma asks. She rests her cheek against the top of Charlie’s head.

Killian sighs. “I’m exhausted, but I think things are going well. I’m supposed to record some more vocals today.”

Emma hums. She giggles when Charlie takes her fingers into his mouth and then she removes them, shaking her head. “You think we could come visit? I miss you and you were just here two hours ago.”

Killian smiles softly. “So long as you promise to bring me another Starbucks.”

His wife laughs and offers him a sweet, coy grin. “I think that can be afforded.”

///

Emma enters the studio with Charlie in a stroller.

There’s some intern guiding her, and she feels like a fish out of water, really, because this is the first time she’s seen a recording studio, and she’s supposedly their part-time manager.

Emma can see through the glass window that the guys are all getting ready to play something. She hears Jefferson mutter something about needing his _hat_ , of all things, and Killian says into the microphone, “Okay, I think we’re going to do that verse again.”

“Sounds good,” the producer agrees. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Emma watches with wide eyes as she takes Charlie out of the stroller. She holds him in her arms and he makes a happy noise when he sees Killian, something that makes the producer turn and grin.

“Is that your daddy?” he asks.

Emma smiles and steps closer, pointing into the other room where her husband stands.

“Is that Daddy, Charlie?” Emma murmurs, dropping a kiss to his head.

Charlie rests calmly as Killian starts to play his guitar and sing. It’s a song she’d heard him workshopping for quite some time at home, and she actually kind of loves the sound of it.

She watches Killian and he looks into the glass, a smile spreading on his lips as he continues to play. He ends up stepping away from the microphone and then back again, “Is that you, Emma Swan?”

Emma looks at the producer and he shifts, pressing a button while she leans into the microphone. “Why don’t you come see for yourself?”

Killian laughs and sets his guitar down in a holder before he and the guys come out of the room and into this one. Robin’s first to enter, all smiles and warm eyes.

“Charlie’s here!” Robin cheers, grinning widely. He opens his arms and steps up to Emma, eagerly squeezing the little boy’s toes where they dangle.

She laughs and shifts Charlie in her arms. Robin presses a kiss to the top of his head.

“You want to hold him?” Emma asks.

Robin nods. “If that’s alright.”

They work together to get him into Robin’s hold. He smiles as the little boy settles against him and he dances his fingers up his chest.

“Well, little one, it’s been awhile, hasn’t it?” Robin asks.

He smiles a little, bringing his fingers to his mouth to give them obnoxiously loud kisses. It’s sweet to see Robin like this with Charlie. It always is.

Emma sighs as she looks around, finding the guys eagerly scrambling their way. Her husband leads the way, grinning at the sight of her.

“Who would have known!” he teases, stepping up to her.

Emma laughs and meets him for a chaste kiss. “Your coffee’s in the cupholder on the stroller.”

Killian hums. He wraps his arm around her middle and kisses the crown of her head. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Emma’s arm settles around his back and she leans into him contentedly as she stares at Charlie in Robin’s arms.

He has mastered holding his own head up, and she’s proud of the fact that he has started sleeping decently. Coming to California out of spontaneity didn’t help, but she’s very glad that they get to experience this record together at least.

“Okay, where’s my son?” Killian asks, stepping out of her embrace to find Charlie.

Emma laughs. She watches as Killian approaches Robin and her heart swells when Charlie recognizes Killian. He immediately smiles, all gums and drool.

“Hi, Charlie!” Killian cheers. He takes Charlie from Robin and settles him up with his arm wrapped snugly around his bottom and his hand over his back to keep him steady. Killian presses kisses to his head and breathes him in. “You smell distinctly like you had yourself a nice bath this morning.”

Emma hums. She comes to stand beside them and brushes her hand over Charlie’s soft locks of hair. “He really likes bath time. I can’t deny him when he can’t stop smiling at me.”

Killian laughs. “I can’t blame you.”

He leaves a few more kisses against Charlie’s forehead before lowering him into one arm and walking toward the stroller to grab his coffee.

///

Charlie proves to be quite the distraction.

Everyone wants to hold him and play with him, and Charlie _loves_ the attention as he’s being passed around the room from band member to band member.

Emma watches from the couch against the back wall, sitting beside her husband, who clicks his tongue against his cheek.

“I think we underestimated just how badly they all want to be his favorite,” he says.

Emma chuckles. “I think he likes Will the most. Look at them.”

Will sits in a chair with Charlie in his arms. Charlie keeps smiling at Will, and Will just blushes a little as he smiles in return. His fingers dance against Charlie’s belly and up toward his nose, making him laugh, something he’s loved doing lately, and Will hums, nodding.

“Aye,” Killian sighs. “But I think it’s my turn to take him again.”

She doesn’t know how she ends up sitting on the floor of the recording space with Charlie in her lap. Killian sits in front of them, with his guitar, and he plays softly, much to Charlie’s interest.

He keeps watching Killian’s face, and then his fingers, and Emma moves him close so he can put his hand over the strings himself.

Killian smiles and starts to sing, something that makes Emma soften, because Charlie leans into her and she can tell he’s getting sleepy. It _is_ his naptime, after all.

Emma knows the song very well, because it’s Charlie’s song, so she sways a little and allows herself to sing along with her husband, softly lulling their little boy into the world of dreams.

When it’s finished, Emma’s heart feels tender and she manages to smile as she meets her husband’s gaze. She drops a kiss to Charlie’s sleeping head and cradles him against her chest so she can carry him to the stroller.

///

**month thirty. beach, los angeles, california.**

The water is cool against her feet, and she jumps a little when she first steps into the fringes of the waves on the shore of the little private beach behind their apartment complex.

It’s nice to have a solid place to call home while they’re here recording the album for two weeks, and Emma is all kinds of grateful to the label for offering them this option, especially since they’ve been torn away from their home to go across the country to do this album for them.

Her hair is tied over her shoulder in a braid and she’s wearing a swimming suit, though she knows she’s not going into the water. She has a hat on her head and sunglasses over her eyes, and Charlie is lathered in sunscreen and is all snug in his own little suit.

Killian’s standing beside her, soaking wet from the brief thirty seconds he’d spent wading out in the water, and his skin still glistens because of it while droplets trickle off of his hair and into the sand or back into the ocean.

Killian is holding Charlie and they both drop down to their knees when Killian holds him up and sets his feet into the water.

Charlie _loves_ it. He smiles at them and they both laugh because of it.

“You’re just like Daddy,” Emma says.

She snaps some pictures of him to share with their friends back home and to print out later to hang on the fridge and then Killian takes him back into his arms when he starts crying because of some water in his mouth.

“Yeah, that’s no good,” Killian agrees as he pats his back and gets him to cough it back up.

They walk him back to their setup and he settles down as soon as he gets to lay on the blanket with his favorite pacifier between his lips.

Emma strokes back his hair as she stares down at him, only a little worried about the salt water. Killian sits beside them and she sees a flicker of mischief in his eyes when she looks up at him.

“What’s that look for?”

Killian shrugs. A smile plays at his lips. “Thank you for pushing us to do this. You’re absolutely right. I would have hated myself for not continuing on with the band.”

Emma smiles back at him. “Well, you’re welcome.”

Her husband looks down at Charlie and Emma props her sunglasses atop her hat. She doesn’t need it from under their umbrella.

“When we sang to Charlie earlier,” he says, as if testing something out on his lips. She meets his eyes and narrows them when he just stares at her and doesn’t speak. “He was recording us. And he sent me the file and I listened to it while you were changing. I- if it’s alright with you- I think I’d like to use it for the record.”

Emma’s heart skips a beat. She holds open her mouth and tilts her head to the side, shaking it slowly. “I… I don’t- we were just singing him to sleep-”

“I know,” Killian smiles, and it takes her breath away, because he’s staring at her with so much sincerity. “I’ll let you listen to it and if you don’t want it used, that’s fine, but… I just think it’d be a good addition.”

Emma presses her lips together and takes a breath through her nose. She nods. “Okay.”

///

**month thirty. apartment, los angeles, california.**

“Charlie, look,” Emma says through the speaker of Killian’s phone, and it makes her smile a little because the memory of the moment in the studio is still very new. Charlie had been excited to be with his daddy and hear him play music just for him.

“Ah, ah,” Charlie babbles, much to their delight.

“Are you trying to sing?” Killian asks lowly.

Emma laughs and she hears the moment where he pauses playing so Charlie can press his little hand to the strings. Then, a beat, before Killian plays again.

Their voices are smooth and it’s crazy that the microphones picked them up, because they were sitting on the floor, but just the same, it’s kind of… nice. Their sound is gentle and soothing, and she hears the warmth and the love in their tone.

She looks at Killian, who gazes at her expectantly, and she presses her hands to her face and leans down into the comforter of their bed on a groan.

Killian laughs and she feels his palm against the curve of her spine. “It’s alright, darling. If you don’t want it I’ll have the file deleted.”

Emma pulls back with his hand still against her and adjusts her glasses. “It’s beautiful. I think you should use it if you want to.”

A slow grin spreads on his face and he leans in to capture her lips for a kiss, making her laugh when he discards his phone and continues to kiss her as he moves to press her down into the bed.

“Killian!” she laughs, “Charlie is going to wake up in like twenty minutes and-”

His laughter reverberates against her neck where his lips land and she curls her fingers into his hair as she shuts her eyes and allows his happiness to soak into her skin.

He moves away from the crook of her neck and smiles sweetly as he simply nuzzles his nose against hers. “I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life showing you that.”

Emma shakes her head as a smile fills her lips and she cards her fingers through his hair. “I don’t know how on Earth you’ll manage to do that.”

“I guess I’ll have to get imaginative,” he teases, and then he kisses her nose, and her cheek, and her temple, and curls up beside her.

She turns to him and presses her hands over his heart. “Do you think you could do something for me, before you have to go back to the studio and bring home the bacon?”

Killian raises his eyebrows. “Perhaps.”

Emma bites on her lip. “Could you go to the store and get me some Cocoa Krispies?”

He starts laughing. “Cocoa Krispies?”

Emma nods. “Stop laughing! I just want some. And I also want a nap, so when Charlie gets up and after I feed him, you can take him with you.”

He sucks in a breath and kisses her forehead. His voice is a low grumble, teasing, “As you wish.”

///

Killian wears Charlie against his chest with the carrier and Charlie happily coos in his ear while he walks. That in and of itself is enough to make him grin, and he settles his hand on his son’s back while he kisses the top of his head.

“You are quite happy today, aren’t you, Charlie?” he asks.

He picks out Emma’s cereal and a couple of other little things they need and he’s recognized once, despite the fact that he’s donned sunglasses, so he smiles and nods.

“Aye, that’s me,” he admits, grinning at the girls that have stopped him.

“Can we get a picture?”

Killian opens his mouth to respond, but then looks down at Charlie and shakes his head. “Apologies. I’m running an errand and I’ve got this one with me. Otherwise I’d say yes. We’re due to have a show next week, if you’d like to come out, though.”

He shares the information with them and then manages to get out of the store without being noticed.

The apartment is a short walk from the shop, and he’s thankful for it, especially when a man is suddenly following him with a camera. Killian scowls and moves faster, shielding Charlie’s face from the lens.

The moment he’s back in the apartment, he says, “Swan, the damn paparazzi found us.”

“What?” Emma’s voice calls back from the bedroom. She comes out into the kitchen and settles her glasses on, narrowing her eyes in confusion. “What happened?”

Killian sets the bag on the counter and then takes a deep breath when Charlie starts squirming against him. His little hand hits him in the face and he releases his breath and instead cups the back of his son’s head.

“Paparazzi,” he says simply. “He got pictures of Charlie and I.”

Emma decompresses in understanding and steps deeper into the room. She comes to stand in front of him and helps him take Charlie out of the carrier. She settles him into her arms and carries him to the carpeted living area, where she sets him down on his belly.

“Well, there’s not much that can be done about that,” she says on a sigh, rising up with her arms folding against her chest. “What do you want to do?”

Killian takes his hand to the back of his head and shakes his head. “I don’t know. I’d like to keep him protected.”

Emma nods. “Okay.”

She looks down at the floor where he’s clutching the blanket under him with his fingers. A smile pulls at her lips.

“Maybe you should take him home,” Killian says, feeling weary.

“What? No way. I’m not going to take care of him by myself. He’s still really small. We tried that once and I hated it, remember?” Emma’s eyes are big and she shakes her head swiftly.

“Okay. You’re right.” He pauses. “But how else will we keep him safe?”

Emma shrugs. She crosses the room to him and stops when she stands before him. “We’ll just do what we can. Censor what we want released and what we don’t. It’s all we can do.”

Killian nods, though his stomach twists and he doesn’t feel quite right yet. “Aye.”

///

Charlie lies on Killian’s chest while Emma sits up beside them going through emails and doing little things Elsa had asked of her.

Killian sings lowly as Charlie rests his ear over his chest, and he wears a pleasant look on his face as his eyes droop. Emma ends up watching the sight of her little boy falling asleep rather than answering emails, and her heart is full when Killian falls asleep, too, holding Charlie’s back with his big hand.

She closes her laptop and sets it down on the nightstand and then leans over Killian’s face, giving his nose a kiss.

“Hey, Papa,” she murmurs. “We have to put the baby to bed.”

He hums sleepily and his eyes open just a little. He grins at her tiredly. “Love you.”

She sighs and tucks her hair behind her ears before reaching for Charlie. “I love you too, Sleepy.”

Emma carries Charlie to his bed in the other room and as soon as she sets him into his crib, Killian enters the room behind her. He wraps his arm around her middle and they both stare down at Charlie as he sleeps easily.

She turns after a few minutes of silently gazing at the sleeping boy and stares instead up at her sleepy husband, with bedhead and bags under his eyes from lack of sleep.

“Elsa found the pictures,” she murmurs. “She had them deleted.”

Killian smiles and nods. “That’s good.”

Emma wraps her arms around his neck and his head falls into her shoulder as his arm draws up her back and he holds her tight.

“It might be better if we go home,” she says. “You’re tired and it’s because you’re not sleeping well.”

“Do you think I could sleep well knowing you’re all the way across the map handling a ten week old by yourself?”

Emma sighs into his neck and moves back. Their eyes meet in the dimness of the room and she shakes her head. “I guess not.”

They walk out of Charlie’s bedroom quietly and when they make it back to their bed, Emma turns to her husband. “So you have a show coming up.”

“Aye,” he nods. “First in a long while. First since the tour ended and Charlie was born.”

Emma hums. “I had to pull some strings to make it happen. I hope it goes well.”

“Me too,” Killian sighs.

Emma flicks off the lamp and lies down beside him. Their room has doors with a balcony that overlooks the water, and Killian has the doors open so the ocean waves can help lull them to sleep.

“When you were young did you used to sleep on your boat?” Emma asks quietly.

Killian hums tiredly. “For a little while Liam and I lived there.”

Her heart squeezes and she shifts closer to Killian so she can rest her ear over his chest. Killian eagerly and easily wraps his arm around her to hold her.

“You don’t get to sail much anymore,” she laments.

His silence lingers and she wonders if he’s fallen asleep, but then he whispers, “My heart doesn’t crave the sea to be content any longer.”

And while she knows it’s the truth, because now he has both she and Charlie, Emma can’t help but feel guilty, because she’s the one that pushed him to do music.

Maybe she really is as bad for Killian as some people think she is.


	18. Chapter 18

eighteen.

**month thirty. apartment, los angeles, california.**

Killian sits on the balcony in the wee early morning hours. The ocean breeze is cool and the sound of the waves against the shore is peaceful.

The glow of the sun as it begins to rise is warm and the sky is colored with it, even though the sun rises behind him.

In his arms, he’s holding his son, who sleepily suckles on the bottle in Killian’s hand. Killian stares down at him when he finishes off the bottle and helps him into position for a burping.

When he’s finished, Killian holds him and lowers a kiss to the crown of his head. “Do you know how much I love you, Charlie?”

He smiles a little at him and his son smiles back, putting a fist against his chest. “I would trade anything to be with you. _Anything_. No matter how big.”

Killian’s nose presses against his head and he breathes him in before kissing him again. He has half a mind to stay out here with his son all day, but he’s got a show and the guys want to meet up for surfing, and his wife deserves at least an hour of his attention.

“I love you,” Killian whispers. He reaches in to squeeze his toes and then tickles his side to make him grin at him. “You’re a miracle, Charlie Jones. A pure miracle.”

He thinks of it often, how timely Charlie’s arrival has been. Obviously everything hasn’t been _perfect_ in regards to him being here now, but Killian doesn’t think having Charlie any later than now would have been right.

“You look like your mum,” Killian murmurs happily. “Your mum is the hardest working, strongest woman I have ever known. Have I ever told you the story of how we met?”

Charlie makes a noise.

“No? Well, I’d better tell you now.” Killian says. “We met on our wedding day, and before you start getting any wild ideas about marrying the first lass you set eyes on that you fancy, we were perfect strangers doing it for a science experiment on television.”

Killian strokes Charlie’s fingers. “And it wasn’t easy, Charlie, because Mummy and I had a hard time with our schedules and with our feelings up until the end of the month we were given.”

“But I have loved her for a very long time.” He smiles a little, soaking in the way his son stares up at him with sheer innocence. He sees a bit of Emma here, in his little lips and eyes, in the way he wants to be so close. “Since the first day. And I’m glad we did it that way, Charlie, because if we hadn’t, you probably wouldn’t be here with us now.”

Killian smiles and takes his knuckle to his son’s baby soft cheek. “You’re growing so fast. Two and a half months have gone by in a heartbeat.” He drags his teeth over his lower lip. “I don’t ever want to have to say goodbye, but I’ll have to. Soon.” He feels a lump in his throat. “I love you more than anything else, Charlie.”

He gives him kisses, covering his cheeks and forehead with his lips so that he’ll laugh, and Killian smiles as he rests his thumb over his little heart.

“I wish I could protect you from everything the whole world has to throw at you,” he murmurs. “But I can’t.”

///

There are a hundred and one notifications on Emma’s phone when she turns it on.

She’s sitting up in bed with her boys cuddled together beside her. Killian has Charlie’s fingers wrapped around his and he keeps grinning at him, trying to make him say his name, even though he’s too little to even understand.

Emma hasn’t been feeling great. Ever since the first crude messages had gone read by Killian a few months ago, she has had this lingering feeling of not being enough- of not being _right_ for her husband.

And she knows he doesn’t think that. She knows he loves her and he loves Charlie and he loves their life together, as wild as it may be. But knowing it, even as deeply as she does, doesn’t mean anything, not if she looks at him and sees all of the mistakes she’s ever made in their relationship instead of all of the good that’s come from it.

As Emma scrolls through her emails, she finds that she has several messages on social media, and she knows she probably _shouldn’t_ , but she _does_.

The words stare at her and she gets angry because of them.

Usually, she’d be able to let go of these kinds of words, because they honestly mean nothing to her when she knows what she has here in this bed- a husband who loves her and a little baby boy with blue eyes and a dimple in his chin, with sweet laughter and soft, gummy smiles.

But it’s a burden. She feels it pulling at her heart and it weighs her down.

“Swan, would you like to go out for breakfast?” Killian asks. “I really want pancakes and bacon and I’d like to go for a walk.”

Emma shuts off her phone and sets it down on her night stand. She turns to look at him and smiles even though she feels hurt.

“Yeah. We can do that.”

Killian narrows his eyes at her, his eyebrows pinching in deep. “What is it, love?” He shifts upward in bed. “You don’t look right.”

She shakes her head. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

Emma pushes the feelings down and away, instead grabbing Charlie from the bed and settling him in her arms. He’ll be three months soon and she’s so not ready for how fast he’s growing.

As she studies her little boy, with big eyes and his legs and hands pushing against her, she feels the frustration fade, because she knows one thing: this little baby in her lap loves her and she loves him too.

///

**month thirty. sidewalk, los angeles, california.**

Killian pushes the stroller and Emma walks alongside him, her fingers wrapped around his bicep and her laughter happy in his ear when he jokes with her about something he’d seen in their path.

Charlie starts to fuss a little and Emma reaches in to adjust his blanket, then she takes his fingers and laughs when he quiets down contentedly. “Baby, I can’t hold your hand while we walk.”

Killian stops moving and Emma reaches into the stroller to take him into her arms. “Maybe we should try the sling?”

“It wouldn’t hurt.” Emma shrugs.

He helps her get the sling on and soon enough, Charlie’s secured against his mother’s chest, his little head resting against her collarbone and his limbs happily flailing as he makes a rather contented noise.

Killian smiles and squeezes his hand. “Mummy’s rather cozy now, isn’t she?” he asks, winking at his wife, who rolls her eyes.

He turns to the stroller and gestures at the path ahead. “We’ll get to breakfast eventually.”

Emma laughs and presses her hand to Charlie’s back as she kisses his forehead. “It’s okay, Killian. We have time.”

As they move forward, Killian sees a girl ahead walking towards them. She widens her eyes, a smile spreading across her face, and comes up to them. “Hi, I hate to bother you guys, but I _love_ your band and I saw you guys on the show.”

Killian smiles at her. “Well, it’s nice to meet you.”

He shifts to see Emma, and she protectively holds Charlie’s head to her as she smiles at the fan. He knows she’s wary of her, though her wariness isn’t as thick as it could be, seeing as this girl rambles happily about how inspiring they are and how beautiful his music is.

“And is this your baby?” she asks, gesturing to Charlie.

Emma nods and Charlie lifts his head when Emma removes her hand, instead taking it to his sock-covered toes.

“Oh my God, he’s so cute,” the girl swoons. She’s awarded with a smile from the baby before he presses his ear against his mother and makes a long noise.

“Thank you,” they both say to the fan.

“He gets it all from his mum,” Killian tells her, and Emma just shakes her head and scrunches her nose up at him.

“He gets it from both of us.”

The girl laughs softly. “I was wondering if I could get a picture. If that’s okay?”

“Of course!” Killian cheers.

He wraps one arm around Emma and holds her close while the fan comes under his open arm and they take a quick selfie right there in the middle of the sidewalk.

Killian grins at her when she steps away thanking them and he turns to Emma when it’s through, checking to make sure she’s alright. She has a bit of an overwhelmed look on her face, but she takes a deep breath and looks at him with a smile.

“Okay,” she says, stepping closer to him. “Let’s find breakfast. I’m starving.”

///

**month thirty. restaurant, los angeles, california.**

Emma really shouldn’t be as surprised as she is when they’re recognized.

Sitting in the back corner of the restaurant was supposed to keep them hidden, but obviously it doesn’t mean people _can’t_ see them.

She’s sitting in a booth with Charlie in his car seat beside her. He’s sleepy and it’s time for a feeding, so when the fans come to the table while she’s trying to find the nursing cover in the bag, it’s fair to say neither of them is in a great mood.

Killian, though, he smiles and takes a picture and he chats them up as Emma’s frazzled over how on Earth she’s going to feed this fussing child of hers if there are people right here.

“Your baby is so cute,” the fans gathered at the end of the table inform them, and Emma doesn’t even wince once when he starts to wail.

She takes him into her arms just as she discovers Killian had had the foresight to put one of the bottles into the bag, meaning she doesn’t have to try half as hard to feed her son.

“Well, thank you,” Killian tells the fans. “He’s an amazing little gentleman.”

The fans swoon and want to talk even longer, and Emma’s frustration borders on tears as she stares at the plate of food she hasn’t been able to touch yet.

Thankfully, Killian gets them to leave, just in time for Charlie to be finished eating. She pats his back until he finishes spitting up and then lets him rest in her arm, dropping a kiss to his head as she stares at him.

Emma sighs as she turns her gaze to the table and she cuts a piece of her pancakes. “I’m glad that’s over.”

Killian has a bite of bacon and she can tell he’s far less fazed by the fact that a group of people came to the table to swoon over them and their baby.

“They can be a bit much, can’t they?” he asks.

Emma has a bite of her breakfast as she nods. “Yeah. It’s… it’s a lot. More than it ever has been before.”

She’s thinking of the messages in her inbox and she’s thinking of how they come to them in the strangest places, always wanting a picture and to talk and to swoon, and it’s nice, because most of the fans she’s met are sweet and kind and don’t want to take up their time, but some of them make her impatient.

Her husband stares back at her when she looks at him and he takes his tongue over his teeth in thought. “I know how you feel. I don’t want them interrupting breakfast just as much as you do. They’re just excited. How often is it that you see your favorite celebrity in person?”

Emma smiles a little, biting on her pancake as she shrugs with one shoulder and tilts her head to the side. “Every day.”

Killian laughs. “Not what I meant.”

She gives Charlie her finger to hold as she sits back a little and her smile softens into a frown again.

“Emma, I know their words can be incredibly awful, but it’s only a small percentage that are as vocal as they have been. These fans today have loved seeing you. And tonight at the show you’ll be just as admired.”

Killian stares at her and she drops her gaze to Charlie, finding him licking his lips and playing with her finger.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Emma says softly. She gives Charlie’s cheek a few kisses and then settles him into his chair before turning back to her meal. “I just don’t want us to spend all of our free time out with them. I want to do things.”

“I know, love,” Killian smiles. He glances over at Charlie and cuts his pancakes. “It’ll only be for a little while longer. We’re heading home soon and things will be quiet again.”

Emma takes a steadying breath as she has another bite of her breakfast. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

He smirks at her and she _knows_ he’d love to say _darling, I’m always right_ , but he doesn’t, instead grabbing his cup of coffee and having a sip.

“It’s a treat, isn’t it? Having breakfast like this.” He says, his smile wide and his eyes so filled with joy.

She can’t help but smile and nod.

“It’s been awhile since we’ve had a date.” Killian adds.

“Well,” Emma looks down at Charlie and smiles back at her husband. “I don’t think it can be considered a date if we have our baby with us.”

Killian’s eyes twinkle and he winks at her. “Well, we’ll just have to remedy that when we go home, then.”

She blushes at the way he’s staring at her- like he could quite possibly devour her- and she straightens, lifting her eyebrows as she curls a smile, and says flirtatiously, “Are you asking me out on a _date_ , Killian?”

He drags his tongue along his teeth and into his cheek, lifting that infamous eyebrow of his skyhigh as he leans forward a bit. “Perhaps.”

Emma smiles smugly. “We’ll have to see about that, Pirate.”

///

**month thirty. venue, los angeles, california.**

“This is the nicest venue we’ve ever played,” Killian murmurs under his breath as he sits beside his wife on the sofa.

She’s watching Charlie, who’s being held by Will across the room on another sofa. Will has a dopey grin on his face and his fingers dance up Charlie’s chest until he reaches his nose and proceeds to give his cheek a few loud kisses.

“It is,” she agrees. “And it’s pretty big. I’m kind of amazed.”

He reaches up to scratch behind his ear as his other arm falls around her and she stares at him intensely for a few moments as if she’s studying him.

“I’m proud of you,” she tells him. “I know I say it a lot and sometimes I don’t really act like I am, like today with the fans, but… you have worked so hard to get here and I know things are about to get wilder and you’re about to release this album and win a hundred awards and…”

Killian scoffs and rolls his eyes, but Emma smiles and settles her hand over his heart.

“You will,” she says firmly. “Because every word of every song means something. And you love this band and you love these songs, even if they keep you up all the time because you can’t finish them.”

He laughs and so does she. Emma’s hand falls to his leg and she looks over at Charlie for a moment. His eyes follow her lead and he finds his boy being serenaded by Robin as he plucks the strings of his guitar and sings.

“And you’re an amazing dad,” she says. “Charlie is so lucky he has you.”

Killian turns to face Emma. Despite the way she’s warmed his heart with her words, when he watches her gazing over at Charlie, he senses something deeper here.

“What’s this all about, love?” he asks lowly. “You’re acting as if you’re about to say goodbye.”

She returns her attention to him and shakes her head. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just feeling sentimental.”

Emma smiles and it’s a weak thing, the way her lips curve upward. He sees the glassy look in her eyes and he knows she’s just a beat away from tears. She shifts on the couch to turn closer to him. Her knees bump his and she reaches for his hand as her head falls onto his shoulder.

Killian breathes her in for a moment and then leaves a kiss to the top of her head. “You don’t always have to be strong, you know. I know something’s bothering you.” He pauses. “Is it about me?”

“No,” she says after a few moments of silence.

His arm wraps around her firmly and he holds her as he rests back against the sofa cushions. He stares at Charlie; at the way his smile spreads upon being handed around to Jefferson from Robin.

“I got a few messages this morning,” Emma murmurs. “From fans. They were pretty coarse.”

Killian’s heart sinks and he shuts his eyes. “Bloody hell, Swan, I don’t think you should be checking for these things.”

“I didn’t think I’d feel like crap after reading them,” she admits quietly.

He drops another kiss to her head and holds her close. “Emma, they don’t know you. They don’t know how hard you work or what you’ve had to go through. They don’t know what it’s like for you, having a band to manage and a baby to soothe all day long.” He takes a soft breath. “And they certainly don’t know the depth of my love for you, because if they did, they wouldn’t accuse us of faking this.”

She sits upright again and he meets her eyes. She smiles gently. “I know.”

And yet, he sees it in her eyes that she doesn’t.

Killian leans forward, cupping the back of her head, and presses his lips to her forehead. He lingers there for a moment and then bumps his nose into the crown of her head.

“Killian, sound checks!” Robin calls from across the room as he leans back against the couch.

He offers his hand to Emma and she takes it. He pulls her to her feet and they cross the room hand-in-hand.

Will’s holding Charlie again, the little boy finding sleep in the man’s arms, and Emma steps in to take him.

“He’s getting heavy,” Will remarks. “I’m surprised at how fast he’s grown.”

Emma chuckles. “Well, he’s almost three months old.”

Will gazes at Charlie and Killian nudges him in the side, tossing him a wink. “C’mon, Scarlet, he’ll still be asleep when we finish sound checks.”

///

Emma puts Charlie in the sling against her body and she grabs the little set of headphones built for babies. She doesn’t put them on Charlie’s head until they’re out in the concert hall, where the fans have started pooling in.

Her usual spot in the front is gone, but she’s able to find a spot relatively close to the stage where Killian will be able to see them, and it makes her smile just a little.

She sets her hand on Charlie’s back and she leans back to find him wide awake, soaking in the environment around him with his mouth open and drool spilling forth.

Emma drops a kiss to his head and lingers there as she dances a little with him. In twenty minutes, the guys will be on stage. She just has to last that long and not get noticed by the fans. Today, of all days, would probably be the worst for that.

She just wants to enjoy her night as much as she can, knowing full well that she’ll have to take Charlie backstage and soothe his cries when the excitement becomes too much for him.

“Hey, are you Emma Swan?” a girl asks, smiling at her.

Emma forces a smile, nodding as she rubs a circle into Charlie’s back. “That’s me.”

“You’re so pretty,” the girl gasps. “And this must be your little boy?”

Emma hums, feeling a little better about being approached. No one else has seen her, and this girl is nice enough. Charlie faces the fan, which only makes the girl press her hands over her heart as she gasps over him.

“He is so sweet,” she says.

“Thank you,” Emma replies gently.

She listens as the girl tells her about how much she loved them on the show, about how in love she is with the band, and how she’s been so excited ever since she found out they’d be playing here tonight.

And it doesn’t take long for a huddle to form, as the girl’s friends come find her, and they all want to touch Charlie’s toes or fingers, which Emma allows, though her heart races worriedly and she starts to get a little nervous.

“So you guys are just here for the show?” one asks.

Emma holds her mouth open and strokes Charlie’s back. “Um… no, we’re here for a few weeks while they record the new album.”

It causes the girls around her to shriek, and Emma cringes, but manages to keep smiling anyway. Charlie fidgets and she hears him start to complain, but she soothes him with a kiss to the top of his head.

Thankfully, the lights start to dim and the sponsor of the night gets up on stage to announce the show, which successfully allows Emma to give herself and Charlie some distance from the fans.

The moment Killian walks on stage, the room gets even louder, and Emma knows he’s looking for her, because he squints past his smile and scans the room. He finds her and his smile spreads warmly.

They start in immediately with a song and Killian has the room dancing and singing along in no time at all. Emma feels Charlie’s restful breathing against her, and she glances down at him to see how he’s doing.

He’s sleepy, but he isn’t asleep yet, and he keeps sticking his tongue out, much to her amusement.

“It’s amazing to be performing again. This is our first show in a long while.” Killian says into the microphone. He stares at her and smiles a little more.

“Well, to be fair, it was for good reason,” Robin adds, making Killian chuckle and bob his head.

“Aye. My wife and I just had a little boy. They’re here tonight.”

The room sighs and swoons and Emma rolls her eyes when Killian waves at them. “Is he asleep yet, love? Or shall I sing him a song?”

Emma checks again and shakes her head. Killian hums. “Well, I hope you don’t mind it, but I’m going to attempt to sing him to sleep and then we’ll get the show started.”

Everyone laughs and she can sense their warmth toward her and the baby wrapped against her so closely.

The people around her smile knowingly when she glances at them and she just keeps her focus on the stage, where her husband plucks the strings of his guitar just for Charlie.

///

**month thirty. apartment, los angeles, california.**

Killian gazes down at the crib where his son lies, his arms sprawled above his head, his little chest rising and falling in time. He has an audible breathing, and it soothes his racing heart back down from it’s high where he’d been most of the night on stage.

The show had been impossibly amazing. Seeing all of those people gathered to see them play, all of them singing along and dancing, makes him proud, and he’d met loads of them afterwards, signing his name on posters and shirts and posing for selfies at the merch table.

Emma and Charlie had been waiting for them backstage when it was all through, and he knows she’d had a good time, even though she was sound asleep on the couch with their little one tucked beside her.

She stands beside him now, looking down into the crib, her fingers curled against the bar. Her hair is over one shoulder and she has her glasses on still. She’s dressed for bed in one of his shirts and her favorite sleeping pants, and yet, she seems content in staring at Charlie.

“Everything’s different now,” she suddenly says, turning to him. She crosses her arms against her chest. “Being his mom makes everything different. I just want to protect him from everyone and everything.”

Killian nods. “Aye.”

He stares down at his boy for a moment longer before dragging his attention to his wife.

“Tonight a lot of fans came and crowded us,” she admits quietly. “And I wanted to let them say hi, but it was overwhelming.” She sighs. “I just… I wanted to tell them off and get them the hell away from us. I’ve never had so many people want to talk to me at once.”

He chuckles as she unfolds her arms and he finds her hands, taking one and walking her out of Charlie’s temporary room.

“Now you know how I feel,” he tells her. “But I’m afraid the only solution is to let them. We can keep Charlie hidden. You don’t have to be at shows.”

He sits on the edge of the bed and Emma remains standing before him. She drops her shoulders and sets her hands on his arms, sliding them down until she finds his fingers.

“But I love being at your shows,” she says in a near whisper. “And I know Charlie does too. He was so good tonight, Killian. He didn’t cry. He just fell asleep when you sang his song.”

He sees tears in her eyes and she weakens her muscles until he holds open his arms for her and she just crawls into his lap. Her head rests under his chin and her arms wrap around his neck, and he holds her legs steady from their spot draped across his own.

“It’ll be alright,” he whispers. “We’ll make it work.” He starts rocking a little with her. “We’ll make it work.”


	19. Chapter 19

nineteen.

**month thirty. emma and killian’s car, the road to storybrooke.**

When they land in Maine, there’s snow on the ground, and Emma gets chills as soon as they stand outside of the airport.

Killian’s rolling their luggage while Emma pushes the stroller, and they make their way to the car as fast as they can while giggling at the fact that snow is trickling from the sky above.

“Bloody hell,” Killian says as soon as they’re settled into the car. He breathes in deep. “And to think it was seventy five degrees when we left this morning.”

Emma laughs and glances back at Charlie when he starts making noises. “Just a little longer, baby. We’re going to be home soon.”

As soon as they start the drive back to Storybrooke, Emma finds Killian’s hand and they settle on his leg.

He glances over at her with an arched eyebrow and Emma just smiles. “Christmas is in like two weeks.”

He hums. “Aye. We’ve got a lot to do if we’re going to have the house decorated for Charlie’s first Christmas.”

Emma’s heart warms at the idea. “He’s going to be so spoiled. I ordered all of those toys we put in the shopping cart.”

Killian laughs happily and cheers. “Even the guitar?”

Emma nods. “ _Especially_ the guitar.”

Her husband glances in the rearview mirror at their son and then back at the road. “I think the gift I got for you is pretty fantastic, if you don’t mind my saying.”

Emma narrows her eyes at him. “You know you can’t say that because now I’m doubting whether or not the present I’m giving you is going to be good enough.”

Killian scoffs and lifts their hands to his lips so he can kiss the back of hers. “Nonsense, love, I’ll love it no matter what it is.”

He settles their hands down again and Emma sighs softly. She keeps her gaze ahead, on the road and at the snowflakes as they fall.

They’re definitely not dressed for the cold, but Charlie luckily is wrapped snug in his blankets.

“It’s Charlie’s first snow,” Emma says, turning to her husband on a smile.

He grins at her. “Aye. When we get home we’ll have to introduce him to it.”

///

**month thirty. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Charlie’s cheeks are rosy and he’s dressed so warmly that the only part of him that’s visible through the layers he and Emma made sure he put on are his little button nose and his eyes.

“What do you think, Charlie?” Killian asks.

He’s recording the moment on his phone and Emma’s holding him in her arms, catching snowflakes in her mitten and then showing them to the little boy.

Charlie’s expression is awed, albeit mostly cold, and Emma cuddles him close. She’s catching snowflakes in her hair and on the beanie atop her head and she’s _happy_ for the first time in a long while. She laughs and kisses Charlie’s head a few times.

“It’s awfully cold, isn’t it, Charlie?” she asks.

“One day you’ll build snowmen with Mummy and I,” Killian says as he tucks his phone into his jacket pocket and slides his fingers into his gloves. He steps close to his wife and son and smiles at Charlie. “And we can have snowball fights and Buddy will probably chase you around until he freezes his tail off and heads back inside.”

Killian gives Charlie’s padded hand a squeeze and when he meets Emma’s eyes with a smile, he finds warmth in her eyes, as if she is more in love with this moment than any other they’ve shared.

He kisses her then, long and meaningfully, his hand settled on the small of her back. She smiles against him, and when he pulls away, he nuzzles her nose and presses a quick secondary kiss to her lips before he steps back.

“You know what the best part of winter is?” Emma asks, her eyebrow raised.

Killian shakes his head.

“Hot chocolate and curling up by the fireplace.”

Killian chuckles and drags his teeth over his lower lip. “That sounds fantastic.”

///

**month thirty. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Killian sings Christmas songs _constantly_ as they’re decorating the house for Christmas.

It had only taken one Christmas together for her to fall in love with Killian Jones under the influence of the holiday season, with his ugly Christmas sweaters and traditions about dressing the tree. He hangs mistletoe, as he had in Christmases past, above the arch in the kitchen, right where he’ll be able to score at least a dozen times a day.

She bakes cookies and plans Christmas dinner, because for the first time in what feels like an eternity, they’re _home_ and she’s not planning on leaving unless it’s an emergency.

Charlie sits with her in the kitchen as she bustles all around. Killian’s voice carries from the living room, where he’s playing music on the television and wrapping up Charlie’s presents.

Her kitchen is decorated just as much as the rest of the house is, with lights and little magnets on the fridge. There’s a calendar that counts down the days until Christmas hanging on the wall beside the stove, over Buddy’s new Christmas themed bowls, and to top it all off, Killian comes dancing into the room in his favorite sweater with a little red hat in his hand.

She laughs when he puts it onto Charlie’s head and Charlie looks around, a little confused, until the white ball at the end of the cap hits his nose, and then he giggles and grins.

“The tree is completely decorated, Swan,” Killian says, dropping a kiss to her neck as he steps behind her. His hands settle on her hips as he continues to drag his lips up toward her ear, murmuring as he goes. “And we’ve got lights outside and there are _presents_ under the tree.”

Emma hums and grabs his hair. “We have gingerbread men and I’m working on the frosting so we can decorate them.”

Killian chuckles against her and then sets his chin down on her shoulder. Emma’s heart warms because he’s so _happy_. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him this happy before.

He holds her and rocks with her to the beat of the song playing across the house and she presses her head against his. “You’re really happy.”

“Aye,” he murmurs. She can hear him smiling. “Because we’re _home_ and you’re bloody gorgeous.” He pauses. “And our son is healthy and arguably the cutest three month old on the planet.”

“Is that all?” she asks as he kisses her neck again.

He hums. “Well, I’m also quite happy because I’m going to be home for a few months with the two of you. I love this. Being home with you.”

Emma smiles softly. “Me too.”

Her fingers play in Killian’s hair and he presses a fleeting kiss to her neck before sliding away from her. He goes to Charlie and leaves a few kisses to his cheek, all of the affection making Charlie make a happy noise.  

“Alright,” he says, heading for the main hall. He turns to her and smiles. “I’m going to see about when Liam and Elsa want to come over for Christmas.”

“Okay,” Emma nods. “Mary Margaret and David want to do Christmas Eve at their place.”

Killian hums. “Fantastic. I think I’ll see if they want to come over in the afternoon on Christmas. We can sleep in as much as he’ll let us and then open his presents.”

Emma laughs. “Okay.” She looks over at the baby, finding him with his favorite toy in his mouth. “He’s going to be _so_ spoiled. And the guys will probably want to see us too. Maybe you should tell them we want Christmas to ourselves. They can come over before we go see Mary Margaret and David.”

“This is going to be a good Christmas,” he says, still smiling _so_ happily.

Emma finishes stirring the frosting and nods. “Yes. It will.”

///

**month thirty-one. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

He wakes up to Emma’s lips on his neck and he groans softly as her body warmly arches into his. He sets his hand on her hip and her lips find his own, attaching in a sloppy, sleepy slide.

She breathes a laugh into him as she straddles his hips and he hums curiously when she parts from him and bites on her lip instead.

“Not that I’m complaining,” he murmurs, sliding his hands up and down her sides under her shirt. “But what’s this all about, love?”

Emma shakes her head and kisses him soundly instead of replying, and he groans when her hips start to move against him.

“I love you and it’s Christmas,” she finally whispers breathily in his ear. “And we haven’t had time to do this in a long time.”

He hums in agreement, sighing when she kisses his lips chastely and then starts to pull back.

She sets her hands on the bottom of her shirt as he catches his breath and she’s about to lift it over her head when Charlie starts crying through the baby monitor.

Emma immediately sighs and droops forward into his arms. He chuckles when she groans in frustration.

“Come on, Swan,” he says, nudging her up. “Charlie needs you.”

Emma begrudgingly slides off of him and climbs out of bed. He watches her go, her hips swaying and her hair bouncing against her back in a waterfall of gold.

He wonders if she knows just how happy she makes him simply by being.

Killian takes the moment to check his phone and finds a few messages from the guys as well as a dozen or so messages on social media.

He reads a few, sighing when they’re negative in regards to his wife, and shakes his head against his pillow.

It’s honestly no wonder she has gotten so stiff and overwhelmed where it comes to the fans lately. They can be awful and she’s a new mother, so it isn’t quite fair to her that they try and talk to her or Charlie.

Killian types out a message to post to his platforms and attaches a picture he’d taken the other morning with Charlie nestled between them as they kissed and laughed together in their _bed_ , finally relaxing for an entire day because they’re finally home again.

The replies to his posed question come fast and he smiles a little at them as they flood in.

Emma comes back to the bedroom with her hair above her head and Charlie in her arms. He has a happy little coo on his lips as she settles into bed beside Killian.

“He’s three months old today, Daddy,” Emma says, scrunching up her nose as she leans in to kiss Charlie’s head. “You’re getting so big, baby.”

Killian reaches in to touch Charlie’s fingers and Charlie happily gurgles at them. “He’s happy today, isn’t he?”

Emma hums. “He wasn’t even that upset when I went to grab him. He just wanted me to know he wanted to see me.”

Killian chuckles. He meets Emma’s eyes and she giggles as she leans away when he presses a few kisses to her cheek.

“I love you so bloody much, Emma Swan,” he murmurs, reaching so he can continue to put his lips against her cheek.

Emma’s hand finds his face and she pats his cheek before leaning toward him to do the same. He can’t help but laugh at her sloppy sweet kisses against his face.

“I love _you_ ,” she replies.

When they settle down and Charlie wants nothing more than to rest on the bed between them, Killian grabs his phone and opens it up to check for reactions. He’s pleasantly surprised, and a smile spreads on his face before he turns to his wife.

“I asked the fans something online a few minutes ago,” he says, and he glances down at what he’d written, “Why do you think I love Emma?”

Emma is quiet and he glances at her to find her with a slightly worried look in her eyes. She parts her lips as if to say something, but doesn’t.

“Because she’s beautiful, kind, and smart.” “She’s sexy and badass. Girl knows how to work out.” “Because she’s your biggest fan.” “I love her! She’s so inspiring! I think you love her because of her heart.” “Being hot helps.”

Killian wriggles his eyebrows at her and she rolls her eyes as a rosy blush fills her cheeks. She averts her eyes to the bed where Charlie lies and she’s clearly embarrassed.

“They don’t all think you’re garbage,” he tells her. “In fact, I’d say they think you’re bloody fantastic.”

She meets his eyes and he finds them slightly teary. She smiles, a weary thing, and sighs as she sets her head onto his shoulder.

“Now do you think you can stop worrying over them and enjoy being home just as much as I am?”

Emma leans away and stares at him with a deliriously sweet smile on her lips. “I can try.”

He reaches out to take her hand. “That’s all I could ever ask for.”

///

“Lucky you, Charlie, you’re getting four Christmases,” Killian says as they sit in the living room with the band.

There’s Christmas music playing and the guys have their ladies with them. It’s more like a party than anything, with food and hot chocolate and eggnog, and Charlie enjoys all of the attention that it brings.

Will holds him and Belle just stares so warmly at the both of them that Emma thinks she’s probably going to burst.

Buddy’s somewhere in the house fighting over some wrapping paper from the group gift that the band had given to Charlie. It’s another stuffed monkey to add to his collection, this one with a pirate bandana and a little smirk on it’s lips.

Charlie loves the monkey, though. He holds onto it and drools on it and that’s pretty much all Emma knows he can do when he loves something.

“We have another gift for you and Emma,” Robin says, handing Killian a rather large rectangular gift.

Killian raises his eyebrows and Emma sits up beside him on the couch, laughing when he holds out one end to her and they both tear at the paper together.

“Honestly, it’s like you’re incapable of not being insanely cute,” Ruby comments from Victor’s lap across the room.

Emma rolls her eyes at her friend and she gasps at the picture. It’s she, Killian, and Charlie in California on the beach. Charlie’s in Killian’s arms and they’re both laughing at him with his sandy toes and his cute little gummy grin.

Jefferson must have taken the picture during a band beach day when they weren’t looking.

“It’s so sweet,” Emma says, looking up at Jefferson. “Thank you.”

He smiles warmly. “Out of all of the pictures I have taken of the three of you, I think that’s my favorite one.”

Emma chuckles and stares down at the image.

“We can hang it above our bed. By the wedding pictures.” Killian says, and Emma meets his eyes with a smile spreading easily.

“Yeah.”

///

**month thirty-one. mary margaret and david’s apartment, storybrooke, maine.**

Charlie’s second Christmas is spent in the warmth of Mary Margaret and David’s apartment, with a feast on the table and music in the background.

There are presents for the little ones after dinner and Charlie gets sleepy when Mary Margaret brings out the cookies for after dinner Christmas movies.

They gather around the television without the company of Leo or Rosie, who both are happy to see the three of them again. Leo had wanted to hold Charlie the whole night and Rosie had given him so many kisses that Charlie had actually started to complain a little.

Killian’s arm wraps around his wife as they sit with her adoptive family and they all chat about life as the movie plays in the background. Emma leans her head into him and her hands are wrapped tight around a mug of hot cocoa.

“So, you’re home for how long, do you think?” David asks.

“Probably two months,” Killian says. “Though things can change. I know we’re expected to fly back out to make a music video before the release of the album and we’re still talking about what the next tour looks like.”

David hums and nods.

“Well, I’m so glad you’re back for a while,” Mary Margaret sighs. “I feel like we haven’t had any time to see you at all.”

Charlie, from his spot in Mary Margaret’s arms, is sound asleep, and she smiles down at him. “Gosh, he is the sweetest boy. You are very lucky that your first is so good.”

Killian smiles proudly. “We are _impossibly_ lucky.”

Emma laughs a little. “Don’t jinx us, Mary Margaret. I don’t want our next to cry all the time.”

He smirks as his wife moves to look at him and he arches an eyebrow. Emma rolls her eyes and swats at his chest, giggling when he pinches her side. She buries herself into his hold and he kisses the crown of her head.

“We’ll be experts by then, Swan. Don’t worry about it.”

///

**month thirty-one. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma wakes at her own leisure to the feeling of her husband wrapped around her, his arm holding her close to him and his breath against her neck.

She glances up at the alarm clock and discovers that it’s nearly ten in the morning, much to her delight.

Emma stretches her legs and curls her toes. She reaches back to put them between Killian’s legs because he’s much, much warmer, and he grunts against her, his arm tightening around her.

“Why is it that you continue to use me as your personal heater?” he asks.

“Because you’re _mine_ and you love me.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

She turns around in his hold and his eyes open as her fingers press against his face and up toward his hair. She smiles widely at him, unable to help herself, and he replies in kind.

“It’s Christmas,” she whispers, as if it’s a huge secret.

Killian hums and Emma gives him a sweet kiss good morning.

“Happy Christmas, my love,” he whispers when they part.

Emma grins and nuzzles his nose tenderly. “Merry Christmas, Killian.”

As if he knows they’re awake, Charlie’s little babble crackles through the baby monitor, and Emma laughs at the sound of it.

“He’s probably the cutest baby in the world,” Emma informs her husband.

“I think he definitely is,” he declares as Emma pulls away from him.

She heads for the door of their bedroom and down the hall to the nursery. She walks in to find Charlie kicking and a smile on his little happy face.

“Hi, Charlie!” she sings. “It’s Christmas!”

Emma reaches into the crib and pulls her boy up into her arms. He curls his fingers around her shirt as she kisses his cheeks.

When she turns, Killian stands in the doorway, a warm look in his eyes. He steps toward them and when Charlie sees him, he starts grinning all over again as he releases happy noises.

“Happy Christmas!” Killian says. Emma hands the little boy to his father and Killian drops a few lingering kisses to his head. “Oh, Charlie David Jones, you are in for a very exciting day.”

///

Charlie has a small handful of presents from the two of them that they both help him unwrap.

He gets more excited about the things he can shake and he tries to put things he can’t into his mouth, but other than that, Killian is fairly certain that Charlie’s first Christmas is a great success.

Charlie even seems to like the guitar they’d bought for him. It’s for little ones, with buttons instead of strings, but the idea is still the same, and it couldn’t make Killian prouder.

He sits on the floor in front of the tree with Emma, who holds Charlie in her lap. He’s holding his head up and leaning against her while his fingers press against a new stuffed bear.

Buddy is tearing at some wrapping paper across the room and Emma keeps laughing when he comes back to check on them.

She’s gorgeous, his wife is, with her hair up and her glasses on. She’s wearing her sleeping clothes still, looking happily content as she sits there with their son in between her legs.

“Okay, Swan, there are only two presents left, and it looks like they’re for the both of us.” Killian says as he weighs the items in his hands.

Emma smiles softly at him. “Yeah?”

Killian bites on his lip and extends his gift for her outward. Emma takes it and gives it a gentle shake. There’s an obvious rattle and she raises her eyebrows, chuckling.

“Ooh. I wonder what it could be.” Emma teases.

She reads the tag and giggles. It’s so good to see her so _happy_ again.

Emma tears into the wrapping paper and when it falls away, she opens up the box.

“Now, I should probably explain,” Killian says as she lifts the necklace out. She examines it as he speaks. “When we got married, I had a pick in my pocket.”

A smile spreads on her face as she reads the inscription on the first pick dangling from the silver chain. “That explains why our wedding date is on this one.”

He nods. “And when Charlie was born…”

Emma drops her shoulder and smiles softly at him as her cheek falls to her shoulder. “You had a pick in your pocket.”

Killian nods again. “Aye.”

Emma studies the necklace and he can tell that she loves it. She holds it out to him. “Put it on?”

He scrambles to get behind her and he does just as she asks. When it’s around her neck, he moves to sit at her side facing her. She presses her hand against the picks against her collarbone and smiles at him again.

“Thank you, Killian. I love it.”

She leans in for a kiss and he gladly obliges.

When he pulls away afterward, they gaze lovingly at each other, and Killian lifts the small box in his hand. “Shall I?”

Emma shrugs. “I don’t know. If you’re ready.”

Killian chuckles and looks down at the gift. He doesn’t know what it could be, and when he shakes it, that offers no clues, so he just tears into the paper.

When he gets past the colorful, cheery paper, he discovers a ring box. He arches an eyebrow at his wife when he pops it open to find a band inside.

“If you’re proposing to me, I’m afraid I did beat you to the punch quite a while ago.” Killian teases.

Emma rolls her eyes and gestures to the ring. “Take a look at it.”

Killian pulls the ring from its holder and finds inscribed on the inside the words: _always yours_.

“I thought… since you gave me a new ring a while ago and we’re not exactly planning our wedding again just yet…” Emma shrugs and he finds the expression on her face hesitant, as if she’s unsure if he likes the gift at all. “Maybe you could have a new ring now. An us ring.”

Killian’s heart squeezes as he turns the ring between his fingers. He smiles at her and nods. “An us ring.”

Pulling his wedding ring off after it’s been there for over two years now feels odd, but it’s easily remedied when he slides the new ring on instead. He stares at his hand for a moment and then looks at Emma.

“It’s wonderful, love. Thank you.”

Emma becomes a little timid when she says, “You’re welcome.”

Killian gives her another kiss until Charlie begins to make noises. He laughs and reaches down to take his boy into his arms. He awards him with a kiss to his cheek. “Would you like a bath before Uncle Liam and Aunt Elsa come? Hm?”

Emma smiles and reaches out to squeeze Charlie’s toes. “That sounds like so much fun, doesn’t it? You love the bubbles.”

“I’ll take him if you’d like to go get dressed, Sweetheart.”

Emma hums. “That’d be good. I’ll start cooking. Hopefully I don’t burn the house down.”

Killian laughs. “Darling, I’ll be in momentarily to preside over the cooking, don’t worry.”

///

Between the two of them, they prevent at least two fires and the bread only burns a little by the time Emma pulls it out of the oven.

She’s kind of proud of them in this venture of domesticity on a holiday. In Christmases past, they had Chinese and stayed in bed all day, but Emma finds that having a baby changes how much she wants to do.

She never got Christmas with all of the trims and fillings when she was growing up. Only when she moved in with Mary Margaret and David did things change for her.

So, she’s determined to give Charlie an amazing first Christmas, even though he probably won’t remember that the potatoes were a little too salty or that they used the wrong plates at the dinner table.

When Liam and Elsa arrive, they have a few presents to share with them, and Elsa wants nothing more than to cuddle with Charlie, so they head into the living room and exchange gifts while they wait for the rest of their meal to finish cooking.

“Oh, you didn’t have to!” Liam groans, holding out his gift.

“Come on, brother, you’ve been complaining about the damn thing for months. This watch should last far longer than this one has.” Killian says, pointing to the new shining piece of jewelry.

The older of the two brothers shakes his head. “Well, now our gift to you is going to look like an afterthought.”

Emma has their gift in her lap and she peels at the wrapping paper to find that they’ve given them yet another photograph of she, Killian, and Charlie.

This time, it’s the three of them during one of Elsa’s photography sessions. Charlie is a month old, and they’re sitting out on _The Jewel_ at sunset.

The glow of the sun behind them makes everyone look pretty amazing, and Killian has a sweet smile on his lips as he kisses Emma’s head. She’s leaning against Killian and looking up at him as best she can while Charlie rests in her arms.

“I told you I could take some good pictures of you,” Elsa teases when Emma looks up at her sister-in-law.

“Thank you. I love this.” Emma says. She studies the image. “I’m glad you forced us to do it. I know I didn’t really want to.”

Elsa chuckles. “I’m glad you like it.”

It’s then that the doorbell rings and Killian looks up, smiling slightly. “Ah. That’ll be Papa.”

Emma listens as her husband heads out to the front entry and opens the door.

“Hey! We’re just in the other room. Come in. It’s cold out there.”

///

Sunlight fades and night darkens the streets by the time Brennan, Liam, and Elsa all decide to leave. It had been a rather good time, with a meal shared and stories exchanged.

Brennan had held Charlie for a while and he gave them a box of onesies just his size, something that Emma loved quite a bit.

Killian hugs Liam and then Elsa and bids them goodbye after they say their farewells to Brennan and Emma. He closes the door and smiles at his father.

“It was good to have you over, Papa.” Killian says.

Brennan nods and smiles in agreement. “Thank you for inviting me. I loved getting to spend time with you.”

Killian gives his father a hug and Brennan goes wide eyed as soon as he pulls away, making Killian shake his head. “What is it?”

“I forgot. I got you something. I- it’s- it’ll probably be silly to you, but I found this and I thought of you.” Brennan reaches into his pocket and removes a compass. “I know you’ve probably got no time for sailing much, but… I had it inscribed. Look inside.”

Killian takes the compass from his father and he can’t help but smile because of the words inside.

_For my son. Love, Papa_

“I thought, perhaps, if you wanted to give it to Charlie when he’s older, it might be nice to have something generic inside.” He shrugs, clearly hesitant about the gift.

Killian’s heart squeezes tight. A lump finds his throat and he feels tears in his eyes as he reaches out to hug his father again.

“Thank you, Papa.”

///

“We could probably open a museum with all of the pictures we have on our walls now.” Killian comments.

Emma laughs.

She stands at the base of their bed watching as her husband finishes hanging up the final photograph. He climbs off of the bed when he’s finished and comes to join her, his hand falling to her hip as they stare at the collection.

“I think it’s perfect.” She says, turning to look up at him.

Killian smiles down at her and gives her a kiss. “Well, I think today was a successful first Christmas as a family.”

Emma hums happily. “It definitely was.”

She moves to stand before him and wraps her arms around his neck, swaying a little with him. “You know what would make it better, though?”

Killian arches his eyebrows. “I’m listening.”

Emma bites down on her lip and then hoists herself up, wrapping her arms and legs around him. He laughs out of surprise and his arms hold her steady.

She giggles and their lips meet with vibrating laughter between them.

“Are you implying what I think you are?” he asks between kisses.

Emma smirks and holds herself up to look down at him. “I don’t know, _Pirate_. Am I?”

A slow grin spreads on his face. “Bloody hell do I love you.”


	20. Chapter 20

twenty.

**month thirty-three. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

“Oh, Killian, did you get that email I sent you last night?” Emma asks as she stuffs some clothes into the washer. “It has the interview requests we were talking about.”

Killian’s quiet from his end of the computer and then he says, “Ah. Yes I did. Thank you, Sweetheart. It’s just been the most hectic past few days. I keep getting messages from the label about the single and- we’ve got a wild day ahead of us. We’re doing a photoshoot and then we’re going to record the narrative portion of the music video. Or some of it. I’m fuzzy on the details.”

Emma hums as she continues to fill the washer. She comes across one of Killian’s shirts and smiles a little. They might be miles apart, but he’s still _kind of_ here with her.

“Anyway, um, they want us here for two weeks.”

She stops what she’s doing and drops her shoulders as her heart sinks. “I thought you were only there for a week.”

Killian gets a sad look on his face and he reaches up to scratch at his ear. “I know. They want us to do another video while they’ve got us here and we’re going to do a single release party come next Friday when it’s out. They’re hoping it’ll do well.” He shakes his head. “I just want to know when I can play.”

Emma chuckles. “I’m sure they’ll book you for some late night show soon enough.”

“I don’t get it. The album comes out in about a month. Shouldn’t we hear news on a tour?”

“I’m thinking they’re going to do an album release tour. You’ll probably start the day of the release. Then you’ll be gone for a few months.”

Killian sighs. “You’ll come with us then.”

“I hope so. Charlie’ll be walking soon so he’ll need space, though, babe.”

She’s ripped from the moment when she hears Charlie’s cries from down the hall. She sighs and closes the door to the washer and quickly adds the detergent.

“He’s crying,” she explains as she heads down the hall for the nursery with the computer in hand. “That tooth is coming in I think. God, Killian, he’s getting so big. When did this happen?”

Emma enters the nursery and finds Charlie sobbing as he reaches for his toes. She sets her computer down and reaches into the crib for her boy, stroking his back in soothing circles as she sways with him.

“It’s okay, Charlie,” she promises. She leaves a kiss to the side of his head as his cries slow and soften. Emma turns to her husband in the laptop screen and points, turning with Charlie so he can see his father. “Look, Charlie, it’s Daddy. Say hi to Papa, baby.”

“Hey, Charlie!” Killian smiles wide. She can tell he’s exhausted, because it’s six in the morning where he is, but he wanted to talk before he had to do his day, so that’s what they’re doing. “How are you? I’ve missed you, lad.”

Charlie giggles at the sight of Killian on the screen and Emma takes him closer so he can touch it.

“Can you say Papa?” Emma asks, looking at her little boy as he clings his hand in the back of her shirt and wobbles his head a bit until he decides to just collapse against her. “Pa-pa.”

Charlie babbles, but Emma can’t tell what he’s saying, and she smiles in spite of it. She leaves a kiss to the top of his head and looks at her husband again.

“Well, we’re trying to get words down, but I don’t know that he’ll even try for one of our names yet.”

Killian smiles. “Well, it doesn’t hurt trying.”

“No,” Emma agrees softly. Charlie starts whining again. “Are you hungry, bud? Yeah. Okay, Daddy, I gotta take care of this munchkin. Have fun today. We can try to talk later tonight but I think Mary Margaret and David are coming over to have dinner so maybe not.”

Killian sighs and reaches up to scratch behind his head. “Okay. I- I’d like to say goodnight to Charlie if it’s possible tonight, though, love.”

Emma nods. “Yeah. Right. Okay. I’ll text you when he’s about to go down.”

Her husband smiles. “I look forward to it.”

///

Charlie, it turns out, doesn’t like being home alone with Emma for very long.

He cries and sobs and she doesn’t know what to do with him. She tries everything she possibly can as she’s pacing back and forth around the house, and her stress limit is far, far reached.

It is now nine at night and she’s been trying to soothe her crying child for well over three hours.

Mary Margaret and David had left before the worst of it had started, and she’d told them that he’s just fussy because he has a tooth coming in. Doing this alone is much harder than she’d ever thought it could be.

She walks Charlie into the bathroom and fumbles around for the baby aspirin while she listens to him wail. Buddy has started to follow them around, and she’s almost tripped on him more than once in her attempt to quiet the baby down.

“I know,” she pleads with Charlie. “I know it’s hard. I know.”

Emma presses her hand over his forehead to find that he has a fever. She closes her eyes as she tries to recalibrate and she takes a deep breath.

“Okay,” she says determinedly. “Aspirin. Let’s see if it helps.”

It turns out, it does.

As she’s sitting with Charlie in the nursery’s rocking chair, rubbing his chest, with Buddy at her feet in an attempt to make things better just in being there, Charlie’s tears stop coming as fast and he eventually slows to a hiccup.

“Did it work?” she asks, leaning down to look Charlie in the eyes. She presses the back of her hand to his forehead and cringes. “Mostly. Okay. Let’s take a bath, Charlie. That’ll make you feel better.”

Emma presses a loving kiss to the top of his head and carries him into the bathroom in time for her to realize that his diaper needs changing.

Emma groans. “Well, okay, then. Back to your room, Mister.”

Charlie flails his limbs and he doesn’t make it easy for her to change him out of his diaper in order to wipe him clean. When she’s finished, she hears her phone ringing in the other room, but she doesn’t go for it.

Instead, she takes Charlie into the bathroom, all stripped down, and settles him into her lap while she runs the water and waits just a few moments for it to heat up.

Buddy comes to her side then and gives Charlie a sniff, and she’d be okay with it if she weren’t stressed out beyond belief.

Instead of reacting, she just holds in the tension she feels boiling up and puts bubbles into the water.

She sets her son down in it and turns the tub off when it’s decently full.

“Okay, Charlie, here’s your boat,” Emma hands him the rubber toy. She kneels before the tub and tosses her hair up out of her face again.

Emma watches him play with the bubbles and he giggles a little when she sits back and splashes at him.

Buddy eagerly curls up into her lap and she releases a heavy sigh as she sets her head against the wall.

She closes her eyes for a moment and presses her hands against her face as she releases a pent up breath.

“Okay,” she says, straightening up and moving Buddy from her legs. He whimpers, clearly wanting attention, but Emma just turns to her son in the tub first.

Emma doesn’t take the time to make a baby mohawk, as much as she loves seeing it, instead being dead set on getting Charlie to bed so that he’ll at least get some sleep tonight, and once she has him in his pajamas with a belly full of milk, he easily falls asleep in her arms.

She takes a moment to breathe as she’s leaning over the crib watching his little chest rise and fall, and when she leaves with his nightlight of stars projected onto the wall and ceiling above, she closes his door and wearily moves down the hall with Buddy on her heels.

Emma collapses into her bed when she reaches it. She groans into her pillow and then turns when Buddy jumps up to join her, his warm body curling into hers.

“Sorry I’ve been a bad mom today,” she mumbles. “Your baby brother isn’t feeling good.”

Buddy seems to forgive her. He settles his nose against her cheek and licks her. Emma manages a tiny smile and reaches up to scratch behind his ear.

“Do you miss Daddy?” she asks when he presses his head down against her chest and stares up at her with sad eyes. Emma takes her hand down his back and feels tears in her eyes. “I miss him a lot. I wish he didn’t have to be gone.”

Emma lies there stroking Buddy’s back for a few moments before her eyes start to close on their own.

She’s lulled to sleep easily and woken by piercing cries what feels like only a few minutes later.

Emma pulls herself up and stares at the alarm clock. It’s only two in the morning.

She groans and stands up. “I guess getting some sleep was too much to ask.”

///

Charlie keeps Emma up all night long.

He doesn’t want anything she offers him and her tired brain refuses to engage with her as she’s standing in the middle of the brightly lit hallway with her fussing baby and Buddy, who keeps getting right in her way when she needs to move.

“Honest to God, Buddy, I am about to lock you into a closet.” Emma growls, and it doesn’t help. Of _course_ it doesn’t.

She goes downstairs and puts Charlie in his special swinging chair but it barely helps soothe him. Buddy curls up by Charlie’s feet and guards him while Emma paces around the kitchen in an attempt to take a moment to consider her options.

Exhausted and worn out, Emma makes herself a cup of coffee and takes it with her into the living room where Charlie’s cries still haven’t let up.

“Charlie, I don’t know why you’re so upset.” Emma admits as she sits down beside him.

She reaches out and takes his hand. He looks over at her and her heart aches heavily because she can tell he’s suffering.

“Would you like a toy?” Emma has a sip of her coffee and crosses the room to the bin. She digs out one he likes to put in his mouth and hands it to him.

It takes him a few minutes, but his shrieking stops, and then his tears slow as he sniffles his way off of the crying high.

“Yeah,” Emma smiles. “That’s better.”

Just when she thinks she can take Charlie back up to bed, he throws the toy down and starts screaming all over again.

Emma grits her teeth and puts her hands over her face. “Okay. No sleep for Charlie _or_ Mommy tonight I guess.”

///

She’s probably about to collapse into a heap on the floor, but Charlie has stopped crying, and it’s bright as can be outside. The sunlight pours into the house through the windows and brings a much-needed warmth to her vision.

Emma’s listening to the band as loud as she can as she stands in the kitchen doing dishes by hand. It’s easier with Killian here, to do the drying and to put the things away, and Emma finds herself missing him even more because of it.

Charlie’s asleep, a blessed thing, in his room, and while she should be using the time to rest up for round two, she’s too high on coffee and daylight.

Buddy is with her, curled up under the kitchen table with a tired look on his face whenever Emma glances over at him. She sighs and gives him a look.

“You can go to sleep, you know, Buddy. I’m trying to finish the dishes.”

Buddy whimpers softly and she shuts off the water after setting a plate in the rack to dry.

Her shoulders feel burdened as she considers the amount of things she needs to do today. She knows she needs to call Elsa and let her know they can’t meet up today and that she just needs time to help Charlie get through this, but she’s suddenly completely and utterly overwhelmed by even the most insignificant things that need doing.

Emma falls to the floor as she listens to her song coming through the speakers of the player and she draws her knees up toward her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she buries her face in her lap. She pinches her eyebrows tight together and a solid lump forms in her throat.

She begins to rock to the beat of the song, whispering the words along with her husband’s voice, and she allows herself the tears, because she quite frankly deserves them.

Buddy comes to her side and Emma exhales shakily when she takes her fingers to his ear and she shakes her head.

“I’m not okay,” she admits. “I can’t do this all by myself.”

She drops her legs and allows Buddy to crawl up closer. She buries her face in his neck and holds him.

///

Emma doesn’t get to go to sleep in spite of how exhausted she is because as soon as she’d gone up to go to bed, Charlie had started crying for attention, and she’d given it to him until he’d gone down for a midday nap.

Relieved, Emma retreats to her bedroom and starts to get into bed, but Buddy comes scampering up to the doorway and he yips at her.

“Right. You need a walk.”

It’s not the right thing to do, but she figures that leaving for five minutes while Buddy has his way in the yard won’t be a huge deal, so she takes the dog out back and leaves Charlie be.

Unfortunately for her, she forgot that she locked the side door and she can’t get back inside.

“Shit,” she curses, repeatedly. “I’m- dammit!”

Her adrenaline starts pumping and she bites down on her lip as she considers her options. She could probably pick the lock, but she doesn’t have any tools to do that with. Leaving to ask for help seems like a risky move, but what other options does she have?

She’d left her phone inside. She doesn’t have her keys. She doesn’t have any picks or bobby pins for unlocking either of the doors. She’s stuck with making the trip into town and it’s going to take much longer than Charlie’s nap if she doesn’t get started now.

Emma stares at Buddy with a frown on her lips. “Okay. We’re going to go visit David at the station. And I need you to behave for me. Just for today.”

Buddy stares at her and she chews on her inner cheek for a moment in contemplation. “Come on, Buddy.”

///

“Emma, you look _exhausted_ ,” David says, his brow furrowed as he stands up from his desk in the bullpen. Graham isn’t here- she wouldn’t even know what to say or do if he was so she’s thankful he isn’t.

Emma’s chest is heaving and she’s holding Buddy in her arms.

The dog had behaved for most of the journey, but come the first sign of a bird, he went running, and Emma feels like breaking down in the middle of the sheriff’s station in front of her technical father might be a good waste of additional time, so she shakes her head and holds back her inevitable breakdown from an untimely release just another few minutes more.

“I locked myself out of the house. Help me.”

It’s how she ends up in the squad car with David as they speed toward the harbor where Liam’s working. He has a key, and David, thankfully, had the foresight to remember that.

He holds a hand up as he unbuckles himself. “I’ll get it. Just stay here. Stay calm. Charlie’s going to be fine.”

Emma forces herself to nod and she watches as David hurries out of the car and out toward the fishery where Liam is.

She has Buddy in her lap and she can’t calm down enough to rest, so she strokes his back and takes steadying breaths. Her fingers are trembling, she realizes, and her only thought is that she has successfully failed at being a mom, because she locked her kid in the house and had to go halfway across town to fix it.

He’s probably awake and crying and she’s not even close to being back yet.

Emma’s eyes fill with tears and she bites down on her lip as she sits upright, her attempt at stopping the tears failing just as David comes running back to the squad car.

He opens the door and holds out the key. Emma takes it from him, gripping it firmly in her palm. “We were lucky he had it.”

David starts driving as soon as he’s fastened in and he goes flying down Main Street. He glances over at her.

“Emma, are you alright?”

She shakes her head.

Emma cries then and Buddy curls up against her as if he senses it. David doesn’t say anything until he pulls up to the house, then he turns to her and reaches in to wipe her cheeks as he speaks.

“Emma, you’re doing an amazing job,” he tells her, as if he believes it’s the complete honest truth. “You’re doing so much by yourself it’s no wonder you forgot. And, to be fair, we’ve locked ourselves out of the loft a few times with Leo and Rosie inside.”

She shakes her head and sniffles. “Yeah, but I couldn’t soothe him at all last night. How does that make me a good parent? I can’t even get my kid to sleep.”

Emma unbuckles and opens the door. She’s not in the mood for a hope speech or some crap about how she’s doing the best she can by herself. She doesn’t want to be coddled.

She runs for the front door with Buddy in her arm and as soon as she opens it, she releases the pup.

Charlie isn’t crying, which eases her immediate panic, and she heads up the stairs to check on him.

When she walks into his room, he’s still in the same position she’d left him in, his little arms above his head and his chest rising and falling in time.

She releases a heavy breath. “You’re okay.” Emma blinks free a tear and it hits her shirt. She reaches down to stroke his cheek. “I’m here now. I didn’t leave forever, baby. I’m here.”

Emma takes a few deep breaths and then heads out of the nursery. She closes the door gently behind her and walks downstairs, where David waits in the entry area.

He has a sad look on his face. “Is he okay?”

Emma nods. “Yeah. Still asleep.” She takes her shoes off and wipes her cheeks, trying to gain some strength to face him again. “Thank you for helping. I panicked and I couldn’t think straight.”

David smiles softly. “I know. You’re welcome.”

They stand at odds for a few lingering seconds before Emma approaches David and wraps her arms around him. He easily complies, his arms holding her tight with his hand pressed to the back of her head.

He smells like cinnamon and he reminds her of home, a safe place, before living and working on her own. A place where she could curl up on the couch after school and listen to him tell her stories about life on a farm or watch movies with he and Mary Margaret or play games well into the night.

“I can… I can stay for a little while. I’m sure Graham can handle the load today.” David says.

Emma pulls back and stares up at him in silence.

“I can let you rest for a few hours,” he tells her. “You need sleep, Emma. I know Killian wouldn’t want you to be doing anything with how exhausted you are.”

She wants to tell him no, to argue that she can do this, but she knows she can’t. She craves a bed so much that it hurts.

“David, I can’t ask you to-”

“I insist,” David tells her. “Go. I’ll hang out down here until I hear him.”

Emma stares at him with tears burning at her eyes and reluctantly nods before she turns to go.

When she gets to her bedroom, she releases a heavy sigh and grabs her phone. She hasn’t been able to check it for at least a day now, and she knows Killian has left messages before she even sees them.

In all, he’s sent her thirty six texts. And he’d called three times.

She reads over his messages as she curls up in bed, dragging the comforter up to her chin as she lies on her side. He describes in some depth the excitement of his day yesterday and she smiles a little because he sends pictures, too, and he asks how she’s doing a few times to no reply.

This morning, after presumably calling, he left a small paragraph that makes her hate herself even more.

_Killian: I assume you are battling Charlie’s growing tooth and that these messages will probably be read come some future hour. I miss you and I miss being there. Today we’re shooting the rest of the video and then we’ll be free. I think it’ll only take until lunch. Give me a call when you can. I love you._

Emma calls him then, and stares up at the ceiling while it rings.

“Hi!” he cheers.

Emma forces herself to smile as she holds her phone against her ear. “Hey.”

“What’s wrong, love? You don’t sound well.”

She takes a deep breath. “I-I left him in the house. I took Buddy out back and- and I- I should have remembered we lock the back door but I forgot. So I went to town and I got the key from Liam and- and he’s fine, but what kind of a mother am I? I can’t even-”

Emma cuts herself off and puts her hand against her face. Killian doesn’t say anything and she shakes her head.

“I haven’t slept in a _long_ time and he’s _teething_ and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to be a mom. I’m bad at it, Killian. I can’t- I can’t do this.” Emma bites down on her trembling lip. “But I have to because you’re gone and no matter how much we try to make it better it’s not going to be.”

She feels every weight on her chest as she speaks and she cries, but she doesn’t pay any attention to the salty tears streaking her cheeks.

“Emma, you’re not bad at it,” Killian tells her finally. “You’re just overwhelmed.”

Emma scoffs. “Says the guy across the country. You don’t know what it’s like here, Killian. He sleeps for only a few hours at a time and then he’ll cry for twice that. And everything he likes he suddenly hates and I can’t… I can’t do this without you.”

Her husband is silent again and she closes her eyes, releasing a gush of hot tears out of them. She takes her free hand to wipe her cheeks and licks her cracking lips.

“David came to help me into the house and he’s going to keep an eye on him while I try to sleep,” Emma tells him. “And I checked my phone and I just-” Emma closes her eyes tighter. More tears come, somehow, and she hears her voice as broken and high as it is, “I _miss_ you and I want you to come home.”

Emma takes a shaky breath and sniffles. Her eyes open and she wipes at her nose as she listens to Killian’s silence.

“I can’t,” he says quietly. “As much as I want to. You know that, Emma.”

She swallows and her voice is still just as weak and high pitched as she chokes the words out, “Maybe… just for a day. You could just come for a day, you know? And you could just be here to help out and then leave the next morning.”

“Sweetheart, I-” He stops himself and she hears him sigh heavily. “I know it’s not the easiest thing. I miss you too. Every moment I’m awake I’m thinking about you and about Charlie and I’m wishing I was there. Gods, I feel like shit most of the time because I know he’s not being the easiest, and hearing you now makes it worse.”

Emma sniffles. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize,” he says quickly. “You’re having a hard time right now and it’s my fault.”

Instead of feeling bad for herself, she feels bad for Killian, and she regrets spilling so much frustration over the phone. She doesn’t want Killian to think she resents him for his choices, because she’s the one that asked him to make those choices to begin with.

“No, no, no,” Emma murmurs. “Baby, it’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it?” he asks wearily. “I’m in California for _two weeks_ and you’re at home by yourself with Charlie.”

Emma throws her hand over her forehead. “I swear it’s not your fault. It’s just hard right now and I’m frustrated at everything. I want you to be there, Killian. I do.”

“But you need me at home,” he says and it sounds like a curse.

He’s quiet and Emma can’t think of the right words to speak as she feels the weight of exhaustion pressing on her eyelids.

“I love you.” Emma whispers. “It’ll get better. I just need to sleep. I’ll let you know when I wake up.”

Her husband sighs heavily. “Okay. I love you too.”


	21. Chapter 21

twenty-one.

**month thirty-three. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Killian Jones has never been happier to be home in his whole entire life.

He feels as if his entire body decompresses the moment he trudges up the front steps and unlocks the front door, and when he pushes it open with a tentative tilt of his head to the side and a hesitant ear listening out for catastrophe, he finds himself even more at ease.

The house is oddly quiet, but when he steps inside and closes the door, his wife is easily spotted. She’s standing in the kitchen baking something, he can smell it, but she has Charlie in her arms and she’s laughing as she dances with him to the tune of one of her songs.

It had been a long, impossible two weeks. He’s had his fill of being away from these two halves of his heart and he’s more than ready to wrap his arms around them, kiss their cheeks, and let them know he’s here to stay as long as they want him.

Killian sets his bag by the door and walks to the kitchen doorway, mesmerized by the way his wife’s hair dances against her back and how sweetly she sings. Charlie’s voice is rather happy, too, a pleasant chirp only increasing when Killian draws near.

Emma, who had previously been turned away from him, turns to see what could be causing such joy, and her jaw falls open and her eyes grow wide as she gasps.

“You’re home!”

Killian isn’t prepared for her when she charges him, but he wraps his arms around her and gladly accepts it when she presses her lips to his in a long, loving kiss. He hums against her and chases her for more, causing her laughter to vibrate against him, and when she leans away, Killian’s attention lingers on her.

“You’re early,” she tells him. “I was thinking you’d be home by dinner. You’re here and we haven’t even had morning nap yet.”

Killian grins. “I took the earlier flight. I couldn’t stay away from you any longer than I had to.”

He shifts his gaze to Charlie when his son gurgles and babbles. “Charlie Jones, you need to quit growing. I hardly recognize you, Son.”

Emma allows him to take Charlie from her, and when he has his son in his arms, he presses wild kisses all over his little face, receiving delighted, loud laughter in return.

Killian kisses the top of Charlie’s head in a lingering motion and then when he pulls away, his fingers dance up against his belly. Charlie leans against his shoulder and his fingers wrap around the ones pressed to his bellybutton.

Killian doesn’t think his heart has been fuller.

“How has he been?” Killian asks, looking up at his wife.

She smiles softly. “He’s been so good these past few days.”

She reaches in to squeeze Charlie’s toes and he smiles at her, revealing his tooth.

“Ah! There it is, in the flesh!” Killian cheers.

Charlie laughs at him, or at the inflection in his tone, and Killian pinches Charlie’s side happily before he kisses his forehead again.

“You’re a little man now, my boy.”

Emma chuckles. “Watch it, Papa. We don’t want to rush him.”

Killian hums happily, leaning his cheek against Charlie’s head gently. “As you wish, Mummy.”

He takes an arm away from Charlie and wraps it around her middle, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “It’s so bloody good to be home.”

Emma’s eyes close and she smiles softly. “It’s so good to have you home. You have no idea.”

Her smile spreads warmer and he finds that she’s even more beautiful than when he left. Killian leans in to kiss her lips again and she happily complies. She presses her palm to his cheek and giggles when they part, his forehead against hers.

“You have a beard,” she tells him. He leans back and she strokes his cheek. “Like… a _beard_. You should probably shave, babe.”

Killian rolls his eyes. “I’m home five minutes and you’re already making demands.”

Emma gives him a look and presses up onto her toes to kiss him chastely. “I was making you welcome home cookies and Charlie and I were listening to Storybrooke’s radio station when my song came on.”

He can’t keep from smiling as his wife twirls around into the kitchen. The song is almost over, but she doesn’t seem to mind as she grabs the bowl of dough and stirs it with a happy look on her face.

“You know, it’s a miracle that we ever ended up together,” Emma says as she scoops dough out and onto the cookie sheet.

He hums curiously. “Is it?”

Emma nods. “Yeah. You were living miles from me. Even if I eventually came to a show there’s no way you would have gotten to talk to me. I would’ve skipped out before it was over.”

Killian gives her a look. “I have a hard time believing that’s true.”

“You know what I was like,” she defends herself, looking back up at him. “Anyway. I was thinking about that this morning while I was baking these cookies because… chocolate chip makes me think about a certain _morning_ we shared.”

Killian chuckles, low and deep, and he smirks at Emma when she rolls her eyes. Charlie starts to giggle, too, which makes Emma shake her head as Killian moves closer to her.

When they’re close enough, Emma takes her thumb over Charlie’s fingers and shakes her head even more.

“What are we going to tell him about when we met?” she wonders aloud. “Are we going to let him watch the show?”

Killian winks at her. “Swan, I don’t think he’ll care too much about that. And, to be fair, I _have_ told him how we met and I’ve warned him of going about finding a wife the same way.”

She laughs. “Yeah?”

Emma studies their boy for a few moments and then looks at him again with her lips pressed together in a sweet smile. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

Killian nods. “Me too.” His heart squeezes affectionately when Emma turns away in order to put the cookies into the oven and he says, “That’s the last time we’re going to be apart for a long while. You and Charlie can come with us on the road.”

He stares at his son then, smiling as he grabs at his face. “Papa’s not going anywhere, Charlie. I promise you that.”

Emma sets the timer and turns to him again. “I’m glad.”

He can see how relaxed she is now. After a few days of tension and heavy, weighty emotion, he’s glad to see that she’s feeling better. It had been just as awful for him, if not more, because he couldn’t help her at all.

He’d had his bout of feeling as if he was doing the wrong thing, that being out with the guys for the album was a mistake, but as he stands in the kitchen with his wife and his son, everything comes back into perspective.

“You did an amazing job,” Killian tells her. “Keeping up with the house and taking care of Charlie and Buddy isn’t easy work.”

His heart aches for the phone call they’d had in her particularly exhausted state and Emma must realize it, because she steps toward him and sets her palm against his chest, across from where Charlie’s head rests contentedly.

“Thank you,” she says softly. “But I have a hard time thinking I did a good job.”

Killian turns to look at Charlie. He dramatically sniffs his head, counts his fingers, and pinches his side so he’ll giggle.

“I don’t know, love, he seems clean, healthy, and happy to me.”

Emma’s expression becomes timid, as if she can’t believe he truly thinks she’s done a good job, as if she doesn’t believe she has, and Killian smiles wider.

“Emma, you’re his only mum,” he tells her with a small shake of his head. “He doesn’t know about the times you slip up. He only knows he loves you.”

She sighs and he sees a smile playing at the corners of her lips. She leans her head against his collarbone and slides her other hand against Charlie’s belly.

“I’m glad you’re home, babe,” Emma whispers, and her lips press against his neck momentarily. She snuggles closer to him and he takes an arm around her to allow her to be ever closer.

“I’m not going anywhere soon without you, Swan.”

///

**month thirty-four. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Charlie likes listening to his papa sing, and he especially likes it when his papa tickles him to the rhythm of the song he’s singing.

It’s what Emma walks in on as she’s working on cleaning the house.

It’s been a few weeks since Killian’s been home and the place is kind of a mess due to the fact that they haven’t cared to tidy up or bring the vacuum around when they’ve been so caught up in spending their days sleeping in and staying in their PJs all day.

Killian has a proud smile on his face as they sit on the floor of his music room and he plucks the strings of his guitar for their son, who grins up at him from his position lying on the blanket on the floor.

Emma brushes back a stray hair and leans against the doorframe, her heart squeezing hard with affection when her husband leans down to kiss Charlie’s cheek between lines of his song.

Every thought she’s ever had of Killian Jones as a father has been far and away been confirmed for her. He has been amazing with Charlie, ever since day one, and she’s so thankful for that because she honestly could never do this without him at her side.

And it hasn’t been easy. Even when he’s here, sometimes things get tense and difficult, but they’re learning how to do this together, and she thinks, maybe, they’re doing a decent job.

Killian glances up at her and his smile spreads into something of a smirk as he finishes plucking his strings. He rests his hand in the curve of the body of his guitar and leans back. He plays with the pick in between his fingers of his left hand and then drags his fingers up to his hair to adjust it.

“You guys having fun?” she asks, stepping into the room. Emma drops to her knees beside Charlie and he gurgles happily at her when she presses her hand against his belly. She can’t help but smile at the little boy.

“Charlie has learned every song I’ve written,” Killian says.

Emma looks up at him and her fingers tickle at Charlie’s tummy until he giggles for her. Both of them laugh in turn and Emma gazes affectionately at the boy.

“Is he going to be a musician too?” Emma asks. “Huh, Charlie, are you gonna sing like Papa?”

She looks back up at her husband to find his eyes on her, soft and loving. Emma sighs and drops her shoulders. Her head falls to her shoulder as she stares back at him.

“Will you go on a date with me?” he asks, as if it’s him telling her he loves her.

Emma looks at Charlie and hesitates. “I don’t know, babe. Charlie’s-”

“He’s old enough for a sitter,” Killian says. He sets his guitar down on the floor and shifts so he’s closer to her. “And we’ve got two handfuls of people to choose from that would all love to watch him for a few hours while we take some time for ourselves.”

Emma stares at him in silence.

Killian curls back a smile, tilting his head to the side as an eyebrow lifts and his tongue darts out to lick at his lips.

“Unless you’d rather _not_ spend time with me.” He makes a face at that and drags his teeth over his lower lip. “Which would be rather embarrassing.”

She laughs, shaking her head. “Okay. Fine. We’ll ask Liam and Elsa.”

Killian grins wildly and she’s not even surprised when he leans forward as fast as he does, cups the back of her head, and kisses her firmly.

“I’ll give Liam a ring,” he says as soon as they part and she has to laugh again, because he immediately gets up to go make the phone call, leaving Emma with Charlie in his music room.

She sighs and looks down at her son. “Well, Charlie, it looks like Mama and Papa are going on a date.”

///

Emma dresses up for the first time in a very long time and she actually feels a little nervous as she stands in the bathroom and presses her earrings into her ears.

She’s listening to music on her phone and she reaches for her phone as soon as she finishes with her earrings. She takes a deep breath and shuts the music off, instead turning all of her focus on her appearance.

She’s wearing a little pink dress, her hair up in a ponytail, and she knows it’s ridiculous to be nervous to go on a date with her husband, but she is. Her palms are sweaty and she has a ridiculously racing heart.

Emma meets her eyes in the mirror and pulls at her lower lip. “Okay. It’s just a few hours. You need this.” She winces a bit. “Maybe.”

Emma pulls open the door to find her husband waiting for her on the other side, her eyebrow arched.

He’s dressed in his favorite leather jacket and jeans and he has a suit vest on with a button-up. In his hand, he’s holding a bouquet of flowers, and Emma can’t help from smiling.

“Flowers?” she asks, reaching out to take them. She brings them to her nose and closes her eyes at the pleasant scent.

Killian tilts his head to the side, smiling wryly. “We haven’t had a proper date in quite some time, so I thought I’d start with flowers.”

Emma hums as she lowers them toward her middle. “Well, I look forward to what else you have planned.”

Her husband wiggles his eyebrows and bites on his lower lip flirtatiously.

They head downstairs together and Emma hears Elsa giggling with Charlie in the living room. Liam’s standing in the kitchen with a bottle in his hand as they enter and Emma grins at him.

“Hey, Liam.”

Liam’s smile spreads warmly. “Ah, there you are. Looking lovely, Emma.”

She laughs to herself as she fills a vase with water. “Thank you.”

Emma puts her bouquet in the vase and settles them onto the kitchen island where Liam stands. She takes a steadying breath and turns to him.

“Okay. You guys have everything, right? You know where his food is and his diapers and-”

Liam nods and smiles gently. “Aye, lass. Elsa and I have stayed with him before, if you’ll recall.”

Emma hesitates. “For like half an hour grocery runs.”

Liam chuckles. “Don’t worry. We’ve got it.”

Elsa enters the room then, with Charlie in her arms, and Emma’s heart squeezes at the sight of him so happy to see them. Emma winces at Killian when he looks at her.

“Are you sure we want to go out? We could just…”

Killian shakes his head. “We’re going out, love.”

Emma sighs. She steps up to her sister-in-law and gives Charlie’s cheek a kiss. “Be so good, Charlie. Mama and Papa will be back soon.”

Charlie babbles at her and Emma feels worse, because he doesn’t know what they’re doing, and Killian leans in for a few kisses.

“Alright, Charlie. Go to sleep when Elsa brings you to bed. We’ll be back soon.” Killian tells the small boy. He smiles at him and then turns to Emma. “Okay. You ready?”

Emma steels herself with a breath. She looks down at Charlie and then at Elsa, who smiles warmly. “Go. We have him.”

Emma forces herself to look at Killian and nod. “Yeah. Okay. Let’s go before I break down crying or something.”

///

**month thirty-four. restaurant, storybrooke, maine.**

Killian pulls out Emma’s chair for her and she laughs at him for it, but he just kisses the top of her head before he circles around the table to sit across from her.

It has been a long while since their last date, just the two of them, and while he loves having moments together at home, they’re always on-call there. He’s quite ready for a night where they don’t have to worry about Charlie as much and can just be together.

Emma nibbles on her lip as she looks at the menu and Killian tilts his head at her, reaching out and taking one of her hands. She blushes a little as a tiny smile fills her lips and she looks up at him past her eyelashes prettily.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi.” Emma says.

He finds her so beautiful like this, with her rosy cheeks and hair pulled up into a ponytail. She’s wearing one of her favorite pre-pregnancy dresses and she has his pick necklace against her skin, like she always does.

Killian smiles boyishly and his thumb swipes over her knuckles. Emma releases the menu and it allows him to take her other hand.

“Do you want to know a secret?” Killian asks lowly.

Emma raises her eyebrows and leans forward. “Sure.”

Killian takes a deep breath. “I’m just as nervous as you are. We haven’t had a date in several months.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know if I still have it.”

His wife laughs. “Let me be the judge of that.” She smiles reassuringly at him and sighs. “I’m thinking about Charlie, if that’s any consolation.”

Killian shakes his head. “Swan, he’s fine. He has Liam and Elsa. They know what they’re doing. It’s bedtime so he should be down for bed any minute.”

Emma bobs her head. “I know. I know.”

She squeezes his hand and averts her eyes, staring down at the menu. He knows her heart isn’t settled, because she has a knit in her brow and a worried frown on her lips.

“We’re allowed to have time apart, you know.” Killian tells her. “It’s healthy for him and for us.”

She drags her gaze back to him and it seems to make her feel better. She nods. “Yeah, I know. You’re right.” Emma smiles again. “Let’s order some fancy wine or something. It’s a special night.”

Killian smirks at her. “Aye, love, that it is.”

///

**month thirty-four. _the jewel of the realm_ , storybrooke, maine.**

They’re both kind of giggly and dizzy as they walk the docks after dinner, arm-in-arm, with happy smiles on their lips.

Emma catches a chill in the breeze so Killian gallantly stops and demands that she wear his jacket, something that makes her giggle happily as he’s settling it on over her arms, and then they’re kissing sweetly and sloppily right there under the cool glow of the moon.

Emma hums into his lips and his fingers squeeze her hips as they part and kiss again. Her fingers trail up his arms and she drapes them around his neck until he mumbles something against her mouth between kisses.

“Hm?” she asks dazedly, pulling away just to be kissed again.

“M’ships right up here,” he repeats in a low hum.

Emma smiles happily at him, her palms falling to his chest as they part.

Their date had been nice, filled with conversation and laughs, and plenty of that fancy wine as she had suggested they order.

He’d told her about his plans and his anxieties about the album. It’s release is very soon, which means they’re about to go on a pretty substantial tour, and it also means they’re about to find out what happens when The Pirates release an album with a record label with publicists and all kinds of money to spend on promotion.

Killian is mostly excited, she thinks, and so is she, because they deserve all of it. Every moment of fame, every album sold, is well worth the separation and the ache in her chest when he’s gone.

Killian walks her to his ship and then insists on carrying her up the gangplank so she laughs and wraps her arms around his neck, and when they reach the deck, he sets her down, a proud grin on his lips.

“You look beautiful. My beautiful Emma.”

She tilts her head at him and her eyes run down his body. “You look pretty handsome, too, Killian.” She hums and bites on her lip as she takes in his figure, then meets his eyes with a smirk. “Let’s dance.”

Killian beams. “It has been _forever_ since we’ve danced.”

He takes her hand and she easily allows him to lead as the boat below them bobs gracefully in the harbor.

Emma smiles at her husband as they sway and she tilts her head at him. “You were right. We needed tonight. Thank you for dinner and flowers and dancing.”

He smiles softly. “You’re very welcome. Thank you for agreeing to go out with me.”

She hums before she presses her cheek to his collarbone and their dance changes to a slow intimate one with his hands on her hips and hers drawn up around his neck.

Emma breathes him in and smells his familiar cologne mixed with something that reminds her of Charlie, and her heart skips a beat.

“We’re _parents_ ,” she suddenly says, pulling away and raising her eyebrows at her husband. She laughs. “Killian, we have a _baby_.”

Killian seems confused for a moment but then he laughs, too, and nods his head. “We most certainly do.”

She laughs more and studies his face. “Everything’s different now. We used to be fun and we used to go on dates all the time.”

Emma presses her head against Killian’s chest heavily. Killian wraps his arm around her and holds her.

“We used to drink and not get tipsy after one glass, too,” she adds, making Killian laugh deep and low.

Killian’s hand slides up and down her spine and she props her chin up against him so she can meet his eyes.

“I do believe we’re officially grown up.”

Emma groans softly. “We weren’t even planning on having a baby yet and we did.”

“Well, I’m sorry for that, if you’re upset we didn’t-”

“I’m not upset,” she insists. “Just… I love him so much and he’s so damn _cute_ -”

“The cutest,” her husband agrees immediately.

Emma licks her lips and presses her fingers against Killian’s chest. “But we had, what, a year and a few months without him? We’re closing in on being together for three years, Killian.”

They’re both silent for a few long moments.

The only sound Emma closes in on is Killian’s breathing, which catches before he says lowly, “Having Charlie is just part of our story. I know it might not have happened at the best time, but… he’s the best part of it thus far, wouldn’t you say?”

Emma smiles and kisses up Killian’s neck to his lips. She pulls him down by his hair and her teeth pull at his lip hungrily before they part.

“Yes.”

She meets his eyes and her husband stares at her for a few lingering seconds. “What do you want to do now?”

Emma finds his hands and squeezes them as she lets them swing between them. “Coffee in your quarters might be nice.”

Killian grins at her wickedly. “Aye. It might be.”

///

“We’re such _parents_ ,” Emma murmurs as they stare at the image of Charlie that Elsa had sent.

Killian kisses the side of her head and takes her phone from her, setting it down on the side table. He turns toward her as they lie in the bunk below deck and smiles at the way her hair pools behind her in a glorious golden glow.

“We are,” he agrees, “but when your six-month-old is as adorable as ours is, I don’t think you could blame us for it.”

Emma hums a laugh and he leaves a kiss to the tip of her preciously crinkled nose. Emma’s palm finds his heart and she stares up at him like he’s _everything_ , and he almost feels like he is.

“Do you know what being on your boat reminds me of?” she asks gently.

He shakes his head.

A sweet smile finds her lips and she licks them as she settles her head closer to his on the pillow. “It reminds me of the night you proposed.”

Killian grins. “Aye.”

Emma stares at him for a few breathless seconds and her smile fades. “We don’t have any time to get married now.”

Her gaze falls to her hand against his chest and she almost appears to get teary eyed, something that makes his heart feel heavy.

“Emma,”

“It’s fine,” she insists, forcing a smile. “Because we’re already married and we have a great life together.”

Killian searches her eyes and grabs her left hand, studying it in the pale glow that makes its way in through the windows. Her ring catches a sparkle and he knows how excited she had been when he’d proposed.

He knows how excited she had been afterwards, planning out who they’d invite and how they’d just do it one bright spring morning on his ship. And of course he’d been excited, too, because they would get something for themselves out of the experiment and out of the show. It would be theirs- their wedding.

“Emma, do you want to get married again?” he asks softly.

Emma takes a deep breath and her lips press together in a line.

“I don’t need to,” she tells him wearily. “Because I love you and we’re happy and getting married again was just an in between, you know, before we had kids, and we have Charlie now, so… what’s the point?”

He sighs. “The point is we got married for a television show. That will always be our wedding story. When our children ask us for our wedding pictures, we’ll show them the ones in our bedroom and they’ll wonder why we were so uncomfortable.”

Emma’s eyes close momentarily.

“Do you want to get married again?” he asks again. “With our friends and family there? A wedding where we do everything the way we want it done?”

She thinks about it for a moment and whispers, a smile on her lips, “Yes.”

Killian smiles gently. He takes her hand to his lips and kisses her knuckles. “Then we’ll be married again. Just… give it time.”

///

**month thirty-four. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma presses her hands against the railing of Charlie’s crib and Killian’s arms wrap around her from behind as they stare at the little sleeping boy.

His chest rises and falls and his fingers twitch from their spot by his head. Emma smiles softly, pressing her head back against her husband’s chest.

He drops a kiss to her head. “Sound asleep.”

Emma hums.

They stand there watching him for a few lingering moments before Emma turns around and wraps her arms around Killian’s neck. “Thank you for tonight. It was a breath of fresh air I didn’t know I needed.”

Killian smiles. “Aye.”

Emma presses up onto her toes to kiss him and then she reaches for his hand as she walks him out of the baby’s room and toward theirs. Emma spins around as they reach their bedroom door and she bites on her lower lip.

“Okay. I have something I want to show you.”

He arches a curious eyebrow.

“Wedding planning things,” she adds with a small, hesitant smile.

They sit on the edge of their bed and Emma pulls out her computer, finding the special folder on her machine and double clicking. Killian’s arm goes around her and he leans in close so he can see what she’s showing him.

She feels a little blush crawling along her skin, but Killian doesn’t say anything except for positive affirmations as they go through her ideas, and when she gets to the end, she takes a deep breath and turns to him.

“So, there we go,” she says. “Our hypothetical wedding.” She shrugs. “Half-planned.”

Killian just beams at her. “You’re bloody gorgeous when you talk like that, you know.”

Emma rolls her eyes and bumps her head against his, pressing her hand to his scruffy cheek. “Do you like what I have so far?”

He hums. “I think it’s fitting for us. Perfectly fitting.”

Emma smiles a little as she pulls away. She puts her computer back where it’s kept and then returns to her husband, standing in front of him so he’ll tip his head back to stare at her.

He pulls her closer to him, his fingers wrapped around her thighs under the hem of her dress, and she drags her fingers through his hair as a smile plays at her lips.

“Will you marry me?” he asks as her fingers go through his hair and massage his scalp gently. His voice is deliriously sweet and tender, almost innocent, and it makes Emma’s heart squeeze tight.

Emma lowers her lips so they hover above his and she cups his cheeks. “I will marry you.”

She feels his smile against her own when they kiss, and they part with soft, sleepy smiles shared between them.

All she can think as she’s getting ready for bed, brushing her teeth alongside her husband, who grins at her and bumps hips with her flirtatiously, is that she’s more than a little lucky to have once upon a time been matched to a man like this one.

Her fingers press against his cheek in the darkness of their bedroom as soon as they lay down for the night and she feels his smile before she sees it, a little lopsided thing.

“Thank you for tonight,” she whispers. “Thank you for loving me.”

Killian takes her hand against his face and weaves their fingers together over his heart. “Always, Swan.”


	22. Chapter 22

twenty-two.

**month thirty-four. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

“We’re going on tour,” Emma says to a room full of their friends and family.

Killian’s standing beside her, holding Charlie, a big smile on his face, and he bobs his head as the guys all cheer.

They’re gathered together for a party at the house, all of their friends and family, and it’s a good feeling, having everyone she loves in one room. The grill out back smells amazing and the doors and windows are open, letting the cool breeze in from outside.

It’s a goodbye party, of a sort, because they’re leaving for tour with the release of the album, and it means they’re actually _going_. There won’t be any half-assing it or coming back and forth. They’re actually leaving.

They’re going to spend months crammed together in a bus, staying nights in hotels with a little baby between them, and Charlie is going to get to see his daddy play so much music he probably won’t know anything else by the time he starts talking. He might just start singing instead.

“First stop is Boston,” Killian tells their captive audience. He grins wide. “By the end of the month we’ll be midway through the states and before we know it, we’ll be out west in time for awards’ season. So who knows- we might pick up a few shiny trinkets before we come back home in the fall.”

Everyone gathered laughs.

Emma finds Killian’s eyes and he smiles sweetly at her.

“I just want to thank you for being so supportive of us and for letting us do this,” Killian says honestly. “We’ll miss you while we’re gone.”

Mary Margaret, who stands beside Emma, reaches out to give her a side hug, and Emma gladly accepts it.

“So let’s have some fun before the tour,” Killian tells the room. “Make sure you give Charlie all of the hugs and kisses he can handle because I’m sure you’ll miss him more than you’ll miss any of us.”

Everyone laughs.

Mary Margaret’s voice is soft in her ear, “Can we talk?”

Emma nods. “Of course.”

Emma and Mary Margaret head into the kitchen, where Emma finds herself a glass to fill with water and gives it to her friend. Then, she grabs a glass for herself.

“So, David and I were talking, and we were thinking that it might be nice if we met up with you when you’re in California. We haven’t taken the kids on a vacation in a while and we want to do something new, you know?”

Emma grins and bobs her head. “Yeah. That sounds good. We’re going to be out there for a week and they’re putting us up in a really nice hotel room. It has multiple bedrooms.”

Mary Margaret’s eyes widen and they both giggle together.

“So the band is really doing well, then,” Mary Margaret says on a gasp, as if she’s deciphering the meaning of it all.

Emma shrugs. “The single has been on top of the charts for a few weeks straight. I think people are really excited about the album. We keep getting messages on social media about how excited they are.”

Her friend hums. “I’m sure.”

“I’m really proud of them,” Emma tells Mary Margaret. “They worked really hard to get here. And it’s exciting to get to go on tour and to bring Charlie with us.”

Mary Margaret smiles widely. “He’s going to have so much fun.” She pauses for a moment in thought. “He’s going to be one soon.”

Emma sighs. She hears him laughing in the other room and her heart swells. “I know. He’s growing so fast.”

“You’ll have to send me lots of pictures. I’m going to miss that little guy so much.” Mary Margaret says with a tiny smile hidden behind the rim of her glass.

She nods. “Of course.”

///

Killian stands in the backyard with Liam and their father. They’re gathered around the grill, and it almost feels natural, the three of them chatting while Killian flips burgers.

“Do you know that Charlie won’t sleep unless he hears that lullaby?” Liam asks, pointing the hand holding a beer at him.

Killian lifts an eyebrow, his chest swelling with pride. “ _Really_?”

Liam nods, chuckling under his breath. “When Elsa and I came to babysit the other day he was tired, but he wouldn’t go to sleep, so I found the song on the player in his room and-” Liam snaps his fingers. “Just like that he was out.”

Killian laughs happily. “I had no idea.”

Brennan has a soft smile on his lips at the whole conversation, Killian notes as he looks to his father, and he flips a burger.

“Papa, would you like to come to a show?” Killian asks. Brennan looks over at him with an arched eyebrow. “Liam and Elsa will be coming to Boston with us. First show and all.”

Brennan hesitates, holding his mouth open, and Liam claps him on the shoulder. “You can ride with us if you’d like, Papa.”

The elder Jones smiles wider than Killian thinks he ever has and laughter spills from his throat. “I would absolutely love to.”

Killian and Liam both cheer and Brennan chuckles warmly.

“Bloody fantastic,” Killian says, still smiling.

He glances over at the back door as it opens and Emma comes outside with Elsa. Elsa’s holding Charlie in her arms and he seems to be very content in clinging to his aunt, giving her neck sloppy baby kisses that make her giggle.

As Emma approaches the grill, she smiles up at him. “Hey. How’s dinner coming along?”

She comes up behind him and her arms slide through his as her chin presses against his shoulder blade. She leaves a kiss there, swaying a little with him.

“Good,” he tells her. “Papa’s coming along with us to Boston.”

Emma releases him and turns to the man. “Really? That’s great. You’ll love it.”

Brennan smiles and nods. “I’m sure I will.”

///

It’s after an evening full of laughter and stories, of playing games and teasing the little ones, that they gather outside around the fire pit in the backyard with all of the ingredients to make s’mores.

Most of their guests left a while ago. Mary Margaret and David had to go in order to put their babies to bed and Liam and Elsa claimed they were exhausted after running around with Leo and Rosie for hours on end.

Brennan had left them with a warm hug apiece and a gift for Charlie- a little pair of sunglasses so he can, as Brennan said, “Look like your old man.”

Emma comes downstairs after putting Charlie down for bed and finds the remaining group sitting around the fire in lawn chairs. She goes to Killian and he greets her with a smile before she determinedly drapes herself across his legs and tucks her head against his collarbone.

His arm tightens around her and he kisses the top of her head. “He was so tired. I think we officially found a way to wear him out.”

Killian laughs.

She looks around the fire to find the members of the band all with their significant other, except for Jefferson, who sits there content with two s’mores in his hands.

Will sits beside Belle, who teases him and wipes marshmallow from his chin when it gets stuck, and Will just kisses the tip of her nose to even the score.

Regina and Robin hold hands while they talk quietly, seemingly not interested in dessert.

Whale and Ruby are curled up together. Ruby helps feed Victor a s’more and he accepts her aid with laughter tumbling from his lips.

Emma turns her attention away from them and instead gazes into the flames. It’s getting cooler, and being snuggled close to Killian definitely helps.

“Are we ready for this?” he asks suddenly. “To go on this tour?”

Jefferson laughs from his spot across from them. “Hell yeah I’m ready.”

Killian and Emma both laugh. She shifts so she can look into Killian’s eyes and he gazes at her lovingly, his fingers sliding down her arm in an attempt to warm her.

“Are you ready, my love?”

Emma’s fingers find his hair and she sighs on a smile. “I’m ready if you are.”

“I’m ready if you are,” Ruby repeats, teasing her in a high falsetto from the chair right beside theirs.

Emma rolls her eyes, hard. She gives her friend a look, raising an eyebrow. “I’m going to miss you, Ruby.”

Her friend smiles at her and nods in agreement. “Me too. I always feel like we never have time to talk before you leave me for crap. First it’s the tour, then the baby comes, and recording, and more touring…” Ruby sighs. She reaches out to touch Emma’s hand and Emma takes it easily. “But I’m glad you’re happy, Emma.”

Emma’s heart squeezes tight and she translates that into pressure against Ruby’s hand. “Thanks, Ruby.”

Emma releases Ruby’s hand a few beats later and it’s then that Robin speaks up, “Did you know that today is the day, ten years ago, that The Pirates performed their first show?”

“No way,” Regina says, and Robin laughs.

“It is,” he bobs his head. “I was looking through some old files on my computer and I found our first gig. We were bloody _awful_ , mind you, but- ten years ago today.”

Killian laughs, a deep and soothing sound, and the other guys join him, though he groans when he speaks, “We were horrible. I can’t believe we thought we could do a show.”

“With ten songs,” Robin adds. “ _Ten_ songs, Jones. We were up there for forty-five minutes sounding like a train crash.”

Emma laughs and kisses Killian’s cheek when he presses his hand over his eyes and throws his head back on a loud groan.

“I’m sure you weren’t that bad,” Emma says.

“Oh, I think we can prove it to you that we were.” Will chirps up. “Killian, don’t you have that video of us too?”

Killian makes a face and he looks to her. She gives him a shrug and laughs. “If you want to prove it you have to show me, babe.”

So, they head inside, and Killian pulls out his computer with the file.

“Now, I have to warn you, I wasn’t… I don’t look the same.” He shakes his head.

Emma smiles at him and tilts her head. “Well, it was ten years ago. I think I can forgive you for your choice of hairstyle.”

She’s standing with the girls, all of them impossibly curious as to what they sounded and looked like ten years ago, and the guys are practically hiding their faces already before Killian even presses play on the file.

As soon as it starts, Emma’s eyes widen and she can’t stop smiling. She has to force herself to keep from laughing and bites down on her lip.

Killian has absolutely no facial hair, and his hair is so long that it’s actually tied back. He looks so  _serious_ , standing there at the microphone with his guitar. It’s a different one than he uses today, but she thinks he still has it hanging up on the wall in his music room.

Aside from the horrible styling in their clothes and hair, their coordination is so far off that it hurts.

She glances over at the guys as the video plays and finds them actually turning away so they don’t have to see it. Killian, in particular, wears a pained expression, and he cringes through the off-key mess.

Belle is the first to laugh, and it’s because the cameraperson zoomed in on Will just as he decided to make a rather interesting face while flipping his drumstick.

Soon enough, they’re laughing and making fun of the whole thing, and Killian has his arm around her middle while hers wrap around his in order to hold him close.

“So?” Killian asks as soon as it’s over. “What do you think, Swan?”

Emma laughs. “You weren’t graceful by any means, but I don’t think you were _bad_. Just inexperienced.”

Belle, Regina, and Ruby all nod in agreement.

“Absolutely,” Belle agrees. She steps up to Will and giggles as she puts a hand against his cheek. “Though I don’t ever want to see you make that face again.”

Will makes a confused face before trying to replicate it. “What? This one?”

Belle bursts out laughing and she clings to her drummer boyfriend, much to his delight. He drops a kiss to her lips and Emma turns away as they simply hold each other.

“Well,” Killian sighs. “Now you know what we were like ten years ago, darling.”

Emma hums. She looks up at him.

“Still love me?” he asks, with a puppy-dog-like expression on his face.

Emma pretends to think about it and winces before nodding. “I guess so.”

///

**month thirty-four. tour bus, boston, massachusetts.**

“The numbers keep coming in,” Emma says to Killian as they sit together on the couch. Charlie is in his lap, and he’s playing with Killian’s shirt while he babbles happily. Killian soothes a circle on his son’s back and smiles when Charlie looks up at him. “And it’s looking really, really good, babe. You’re number one on iTunes. Have been since, what, midnight?”

Killian hums. “That’s the rumor.”

Emma shuts her laptop and settles it down on the table beside her. She turns to him and he to her.

“Are you nervous?” she asks quietly. “About all of this? About what it all means?”

Killian takes a breath. He looks outside at the venue and back at Emma. “No. I’m not. Because I have you and Charlie to ground me.”

Emma’s smile is soft. “Yeah. You do.”

He takes his hand from Charlie’s back and instead finds Emma’s hand. She traces her thumb over the back of his knuckles easily.

“Is it a sold out show?” he asks.

Emma hums. “Yeah. Everything’s sold out except for one or two shows in the middle of the tour.”

Killian shakes his head. “I don’t understand how.”

Emma laughs. “You’re just really, really talented. And hot.”

He rolls his eyes. “Swan.”

“Killian, listen, it’s just _amazing_ and I’m proud of you and of how much you’ve done to get here. Ten years ago you didn’t even know how to talk to a crowd and I know in a few hours you’ll be out there talking them up like you’ve done it every day of your life.” Emma’s fingers tighten against his. “And tonight you’re going to have your family out there and our friends will be there.”

Killian smiles softly. “Aye. Will you be there?”

Emma’s smile mirrors his own and she leans forward to kiss him chastely. “I’m your family, aren’t I?”

He hums and kisses her again. “That you are.”

He’s about to kiss her again when Charlie says, clear as anything, “Papa.”

Killian’s eyes blow wide and he turns swiftly to his son, a grin spreading wide on his face. “What’s that, Charlie? Did you just say Papa?”

Emma laughs and gasps, moving in closer to him. Charlie just smiles up at Killian and he lowers kisses to his face until he shrieks giggling.

“Say again,” he murmurs to Charlie, “say Papa, Charlie. Say my name.”

Charlie happily babbles at him and says, “Papa.”

“Oh my God, he’s so smart,” Emma says happily. She reaches in and pinches Charlie’s side and kisses his head. “Charlie, where’s Papa? Where’s Daddy?”

He knows it’s _probably_ coincidence, but Charlie presses his hand against Killian’s belly then and says it again, and he can’t help it when his heart swells as much as it does.

///

**month thirty-four. venue, boston, massachusetts.**

Emma stands in the front row with Charlie in his favorite position: in a sling pressed against her chest. He’s wide-awake and he’s chatty, which makes Emma laugh as she’s swaying and singing along with the act that goes on before the guys.

Beside her, Brennan, Liam, and Elsa all stand, all of them excited and beyond enthusiastic. Elsa made sure both Brennan and Liam got themselves tee shirts from the table and Brennan even has a hat on his head.

Elsa has her attention and eyes on Charlie, giggling when the little boy grabs her fingers. She lowers a kiss to his nose between acts and says, “So, I heard he said Papa today.”

Emma laughs. “He did. We’re not sure if he knew what he was saying, but Killian is definitely proud.”

Elsa chuckles. “Of course. As any Papa would be.”

Charlie says it again, as if proving himself, and Elsa leans her head against Emma’s. “Oh, Emma, your baby is so _cute_.”

Emma smiles affectionately as she stares down at Charlie’s head. His dark hair is turning lighter by the day and he has the softest way about him that never ceases to impress her.

“It makes me want one so badly.” Elsa admits quietly.

She pulls away from Emma’s side and Emma lifts an eyebrow. “Have you told your _husband_ about that?”

Elsa blushes, glancing over at Liam, who talks animatedly with Brennan.

“No!” she gasps. “And you better hush up, Emma Swan, or I’ll tell Killian all about your plans in California.”

Emma gapes at Elsa. “I’m offended you think I’d say anything to begin with.”

They stare at each other for a moment and then both of them start laughing before Elsa wraps her arms around Emma in a quick side embrace.

“He’ll love your plans,” Elsa insists.

“And he’ll probably give you a baby,” Emma teases, her eyebrow raised.

Elsa’s blush deepens and she presses her hands to her face. “I don’t want to push it. We’re happy. I want us to just enjoy being married for a while.”

Emma bobs her head in happy agreement. “Yes. You should definitely do that. I wish Killian and I had had more time.”

She turns her attention to Charlie and kisses his head, breathing him in. “But I do love Charlie. A lot.”

Elsa smiles sweetly. “And he loves you.”

It’s then that The Pirates come on stage, and the moment Killian steps up to the microphone with his guitar wrapped snug around his shoulder, he grins so widely.

He scans the room first, taking it in, and then he meets her eyes and his smile spreads just a little more before he strums the first chord.

As soon as their first few songs are finished and the room has started vibrating with excitement, Killian greets them. He’s met with raucous applause, something that Emma cringes a little at, and she adjusts Charlie’s headphones.

He’s still awake, and he’s quite content. He sways his legs and arms when he hears Killian’s tone.

“So, I have to admit, I’m feeling really good tonight,” Killian says. He finds her and winks at her. “Mostly because my son said my name earlier this afternoon.”

Robin gasps into his microphone. “ _No_.”

Killian turns to look at him. “Aye.”

“I distinctly heard him say _Robin_ the other night when we were over.” Robin shakes his head.

Emma laughs along with everyone else in the room.

She glances down the row at Regina, who wears a happy smile on her lips. She has her hands clasped over her heart as she admires her significant other teasing with his best friend.

“No, no, no,” Killian laughs. “He can barely say Papa, Robin. He couldn’t have said your name like that.”

“I’m just saying. I was kissing those cheeks of his and he said, _Robin_.”

Killian rolls his eyes as he turns to the audience. “Well, regardless, he said my name tonight and he’s here, so I’d like to play him a song I wrote for him. It’s on the new record. My wife Emma and I actually sang it together on the track.” He smiles warmly at her. “Darling, has he fallen asleep yet?”

She shakes her head. “Nope.”

Killian chuckles. “Okay. Then let’s see if we can’t change that?”

It doesn’t take too long for him to fall asleep against her, to the sound of his song, and Emma’s heart warms when her little boy curls a hand against her chest and starts breathing evenly.

She presses a kiss to his head and her hand to his back, even as the band begins to play a song that has the room dancing.

They have so much fun. All of their guests have fun, the people in the crowd have fun, and she knows the band has the most fun of them all.

When it’s all over, she and Elsa start heading to behind stage with Liam, Brennan, and the girls behind them, but a cluster of fans stops Emma.

They gush and swoon, and Emma manages to smile at them, though the fans start asking her about Charlie and she feels like it’s too much, especially when she finds herself surrounded by so many of them and not a single person she knows is anywhere to be found.

Her stomach starts to clench uncomfortably and she shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I have to- I have to go.”

///

He’s ecstatic.

It had been an amazing show. Playing the new songs felt so right, and having everyone he loves in the front row had been an even better boost to his spirits as he plucked the strings of his guitar and belted out lyrics he’d written months ago.

When his family and the ladies come into the room backstage, he eagerly embraces Elsa, Liam, and his father, though he realizes Emma’s missing straight away and it starts worrying him.

“You were amazing,” Elsa says, and he shrugs.

“Thank you. We had a lot of fun tonight.”

“We did too!” Liam cheers. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so alive before, brother.”

Liam claps him on the arm and Killian laughs, a blush finding his cheeks.

His father grins at him. “I had fun tonight, Killian. Thank you for inviting me.”

“You’re welcome, Papa.”

He glances back at the door, expecting to see Emma, but she doesn’t come.

It takes her a few minutes, and he’s in the middle of describing the tour dynamics to his family members when she finally enters the room.

She has a frustrated look in her eyes and a scowl on her lips, though she breathes out in relief the moment she meets his gaze.

Emma joins them, coming to stand at his side with Charlie still resting against her. She smiles a little at him. “Sorry. I got recognized.”

Killian frowns. “Are you alright, love?”

She just stares at him and he sighs, taking his arm around her. He presses a kiss to the top of her head. “I mean it’s not awful. It’s just a lot. And Charlie’s heavy.”

Killian helps her with that in an instant, easing Charlie away from her and into his arms instead. His son sighs against him and snuggles against his neck, his little puffs of breath warm.

“Did they say anything?” he asks.

Liam and Elsa are chatting with Brennan now, so he thinks Emma might be willing to speak.

She rubs her arms with them folded and shakes her head. “One of them said something about wanting to hold him and kiss him and it was kind of uncomfortable, I guess. They don’t know us, you know?”

“Aye, love,” he sighs. Killian strokes a circle over Charlie’s back. “We’ll have to think of a solution then.”

Emma nods. “Not tonight. I want to just… celebrate the album and the show.”

He sucks in a deep breath. “Alright.” He smiles. “Then let’s celebrate.”


	23. Chapter 23

twenty-three.

**month thirty-six. hotel, los angeles, california.**

Killian wakes to the most pleasant scent of Emma Swan in his nose. His body is wrapped around hers, her hands and knees molded against his. His nose is in her hair and she’s still asleep, her breathing in time enough to tell him so.

Sunlight pours into their hotel bedroom past the open blinds and he curses himself for not closing them the night before, but they’d been just a little too tipsy and she had been just giggly enough for him to ignore all else when he could have her under the glow of the moonlight.

He leaves a kiss to her neck and then to the spot below her ear, a lingering press of his lips, and she sighs, stretching back with her knees so her toes bump his as she flips onto her other side to face him.

Emma smiles, a bright, sweet sight, and her eyes slide closed as she releases a heavy, contented sigh.

“Hi,” she whispers.

His fingers get tangled in her hair and he can’t help but smile right back at her. His heart feels warm and he feels butterflies, almost as if he’s just met this woman, even if they’ve been together for three years.

“Hi,” he replies in a soft murmur.

Emma’s eyes open and she keeps smiling at him, her fingers sliding up through his chest hair and stopping when they reach his heart. She takes a breath.

“I love you.”

Killian’s hand settles on her hip and he rubs a circle into her skin as she slides closer to him. “I love you more.”

Emma laughs and he joins her for a moment before he kisses her sweetly. Emma’s lips linger, asking him for more, and he can’t help smiling against the press of her lips on his.

“Three years,” she says when they break apart, resting her forehead close to his and meeting his eyes. “We did it.”

He grins at her. “Aye, love. We did it.”

Emma drags her hand up to his cheek and cups it, her thumb swiping against his skin tenderly.

“I have a surprise for you,” Emma says, the dimples in her cheeks sweet.

Killian’s smile widens and he lifts his eyebrows. “ _Really_?”

She hums.

“What is it?” Killian asks, and Emma giggles.

She kisses him and then rolls onto her back so she can reach for her phone. After a few moments of watching her scroll through her photos, her eyelashes fluttering prettily against her cheeks and her hair still a wild, golden mess behind her head, she turns to him and takes a soft breath.

“Okay,” she says. A smile plays at her lips. “So, a few months ago, I was thinking about the first time we were out here playing a show. And I remembered how much fun we had at Disneyland.”

He breaks into a grin and his heart flutters. “Are we going to Disneyland?”

Emma laughs and bites down on her lip as she turns her phone toward him. It’s a picture of Charlie wearing Killian’s pair of mouse ears, a huge grin on his little face, and Emma’s handwriting on a little piece of paper in his lap reads: _I’m going to Disneyland!_

Killian chuckles. He pulls her into him and she laughs as he kisses her.

“I’m excited,” he murmurs into her cheek.

“Yeah?” Emma replies. She pulls back to look at him. “If you’d rather hang out here that’s fine. I just thought… since we’re here and Charlie hasn’t ever been-”

Killian’s fingers cling to her hip and he squeezes. He leaves a kiss to the tip of her nose. “I’m very excited.”

Emma presses her lips together and smiles up at him sweetly. “Good.”

///

**month thirty-six. disneyland, anaheim, california.**

Charlie loves it.

Emma watches him as they walk through the park. Killian holds him in his arms, happily pressing kisses to his cheek as they stroll casually.

She’s pushing the stroller and they stop for shopping and for treats almost instantly because Killian says, “Oh, Sweetheart, we should get those gigantic cookies again.”

She’s not one to argue when he’s staring at her with big excited, childish eyes, and their little boy has his own pair of mouse ears freshly purchased from a shop on Main Street and a grin on his lips.

They already have a Goofy toy for him in the stroller and she’s certain that Killian will want to buy a hundred other new stuffed toys and trinkets for their son, and it’s impossibly sweet because the last time they were here, they didn’t have half as much joy as they have now.

Charlie loves the colors and sounds. They take him on a few rides and he keeps pointing at things, babbling in Killian’s ear so he’ll talk back in a soothing tone, and Killian gets excited to introduce him to characters when he has a look at the map during their lunch break.

Emma really isn’t surprised that they’re recognized. They’re in a massively popular public location and they’re not trying very hard to conceal themselves today.

Killian has a pair of sunglasses, but he doesn’t wear them, instead opting to just walk around looking like the world’s hottest dad in his Henley, board shorts, and flip flops. She’s in a sundress, all bright yellow, and she has a floppy hat to boot, because it’s a good day and she’s happy to celebrate being married to the love of her life here.

As far as anniversaries are concerned, she doesn’t think she could have chosen a better venue. They’re all having a good day, and Charlie hasn’t broken down because of any needs not met.

Killian holds her hand and kisses her temple as they stroll through the park as if they own the place, and butterflies tickle her belly, as if she’s just started dating this man instead of having been married to him for three years. She feels loved and appreciated, and with the sun high in the sky and a breeze against her skin, it’s a pleasant day for a family outing like this.

It’s a pair of girls that come to their table as they’re having lunch, with smiles and sweet, widened eyes, as if they can’t believe it.

“Oh my gosh,” one of them says, “sorry to bother you guys on your vacation, but we’re huge fans.”

Emma, whose attention drifts to Charlie in her lap when he starts whining, smiles a little. At least they’re not making it awkward or uncomfortable.

She looks at Charlie and tries to decipher what he could be complaining about, and she decides it’s a hungry cry, so she grabs the diaper bag from the stroller and finds his food.

Emma manages to feed him successfully while the girls chat with Killian, and Charlie gladly accepts the spoon when she brings it to his lips.

“Well, it’s lovely to meet you,” Killian grins. “Where are you from?”

“Oh, we’re from the area,” one says. “We’re just here for the day.”

Killian chuckles. “Well, that’s fantastic. We’re just here for the day as well. Wanted to have some time apart from the band.”

The girls laugh and Emma meets Killian’s eyes with a tiny smile on her lips. He winks at her.

“Would you ladies like a picture?” Killian offers, and the girls enthusiastically bob their heads.

Emma watches them pose for a quick selfie with Killian, and then they turn to Emma. “He’s _so_ cute. His pictures are my favorites on your Instagram.”

Emma laughs. “Thank you.”

After a few moments of conversation, the girls walk away, and Emma kisses Charlie’s head.

“Let’s see if we can’t meet Mickey,” Killian suggests, his eyes twinkling.

They do. Charlie wants nothing more than to give Mickey a kiss to his big round nose, and they luckily capture it on camera. And then they pose for a family picture with the famous mouse, and Emma is almost a hundred percent certain that Killian’s making the most ridiculous face, but she doesn’t care because this is a _good_ day, and she loves him quite a bit.

Killian holds her hand as they walk to the exit of the park at the end of their day. Charlie’s asleep in the stroller, tired out from all of the fun they’d had, and Emma feels at ease.

Even though they were recognized a few times, she was able to enjoy the day as a whole, and she knows Killian feels the same way. He smiles at her when she looks at him.

“What’s that look for?” she asks, bumping his hip with her own.

He smiles wider. “I’ve got some plans.”

Emma arches an eyebrow. “Do you?”

Her husband runs his tongue along his lower lip in what she supposes is him being _seductive_ , and she narrows her eyes at him.

“We’re going to bring Charlie back to the hotel, get cleaned up, and then…” He shrugs. “Dinner and a movie?”

Emma smiles at him. “That sounds great.”

///

**month thirty-six. hotel, los angeles, california.**

“How many days has it been?” Emma asks him.

She lies against him, her chin propped up on folded hands. Her hair is undone, strung around her back, and the room is completely dark, minus the soft glow of the night sinking in through the cracks beside the windows.

Killian’s fingers go through her hair and he shakes his head on a sigh that lifts her just so. “Over a thousand. Which means you’ve had to deal with me for… quite a great number of hours.”

Emma laughs and it makes him grin. His fingers curl around a particular strand of her hair and she drags her toes along the curve of his calf.

“I would do it again,” she murmurs. “I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

His heart stutters, because Emma Swan is his and she has been for quite some time. It’s a fact he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to.

Killian’s fingers leave her hair and he cups her face in his palm. “Even if you didn’t know it was me?”

“Mm,”

She turns her face to kiss his palm and then slides up closer to him, so he can feel her breath against his face. She admires him with her emerald gaze, and lifts one hand to draw a path from his forehead downward.

“I love our story,” she whispers, “and how you won my heart.” A smile curls on her pretty lips and she takes her fingers into his hair as she continues to speak softly, “And I love you. I know it hasn’t always been easy but I…” Emma shakes her head. “I would do it again because you’re the only one I ever want at my side for the rest of my life.”

Killian smiles at her, mostly because the words she speaks mean the entire world to him, but also because his heart could quite possibly burst if she continues to stare at him the way she is.

He wraps his arms around her and she giggles happily when he flips them over, ending up with his hands braced on either side of her head as he presses soft, yet eager kisses to her face. Her fingers hold solidly against his cheeks and they force him to meet her eyes.

“Emma,” he whispers. He doesn’t have words for her when she steals them straight out from his throat, her beauty captivating him more than it ever has before.

His wife reaches for his left hand and she holds it over her heart. “Let’s get married, Killian.”

Killian laughs and tilts his head to the side before he murmurs, “Are you certain those weren’t vows just now? I _am_ a ship’s captain. I could marry us. Right now.”

Emma giggles when he buries his face in her neck in order to kiss her there, and he chuckles at how happy she is. She rakes her fingers through his hair and tugs him back to her.

“I love you so much,” she murmurs.

Her smile warms and she puts her left palm over his heart. Her ring is cooler, and it reminds him of that night two years ago when he fell to his knee and asked her to be his for the first time.

“I love you too.”

Killian moves in to kiss her and it’s sweetly passionate, her tongue tracing the swell of his lower lip until he parts for her, and he smiles against her.

“Will you go out with me tomorrow night?” he asks softly, pulling back enough to meet her gaze.

She licks her lips and smiles brightly. “Yes. I would love to.”

“Fantastic.” He can’t keep the grin from his lips before he lowers his lips to hers for another deep kiss that leaves him yearning for more.

///

**month thirty-six. hotel, las vegas, nevada.**

They decide to stay the night in Las Vegas for the awards show, because they’re on a week long vacation from the tour to begin with, and thankfully, Mary Margaret and David both agree to come along with them in order to watch Charlie for them.

Emma stands in the bathroom studying herself in her dress and sighs when the door opens. Killian shamelessly stands on the other side, his eyebrow arched as he takes in her appearance.

“Darling, we’re going to be late if we dally,” he tells her.

She sighs and presses her hands to her thighs as she steps up to him.

He’s all dapper in his suit and tie, looking every bit the dashingly handsome pirate she knows and loves. His hair is styled with some gel and he has put an extra amount of cologne on, making her grin as she puts her hand over his chest.

“You smell good,” she hums.

His eyebrows dance and he pecks her lips. “All for you, Swan.”

Emma chuckles and stares up at him, her teeth grazing her lower lip as she considers just staying here and abandoning the guys to go to the show on their own.

Then, she hears Mary Margaret’s voice, and she steps out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where she’s sitting with Leo and Charlie. Leo’s playing with Charlie on the bed, laughing with the little one when their Lego tower falls over.

“Oh, you two look so good together,” Mary Margaret says, grinning as she rises to her feet.

Emma shrugs and looks at her husband just as he sneaks a look at her and her fingers find his. “Thanks, Mary Margaret. Are you sure you’re okay watching him?”

“Absolutely.” Mary Margaret bobs her head. She glances over at the two boys sitting on the hotel bed. “Charlie’s going to have so much fun with us tonight.”

Emma takes a soft breath and releases Killian’s hand in order to cross the room and lean over her baby boy. He looks up at her and grins happily.

“Hi,” she smiles. “You be so good for Mary Margaret, okay, baby?” Emma gives him a few kisses that make him squint at her and she chuckles when she takes his fingers. “I love you Charlie.”

Emma gives him one last kiss and then ruffles Leo’s hair. “Have fun, kid.”

Leo laughs. “You look really pretty, Emma.”

“Thank you,” she blushes.

Emma takes a step back from the bed and Killian crawls up on it, meeting Charlie with a big grin on his face as he rests on his hands and knees before his little boy. Charlie loves it. He giggles and says, “Papa, Papa,”

Killian laughs warmly. He kisses Charlie’s head. “Charlie, Papa and Mama are going to go for a little while, but we’ll be back.” He gives Charlie another kiss and says, “I love you.”

Charlie puts his little hand out on Killian’s face and it makes him laugh. “Oh, you’re making this hard. I love you. We’ll be back sooner than you’ll realize.”

He gets off of the bed and Charlie watches him go, clearly getting the gist. Emma turns to Mary Margaret, who smiles at her.

“Okay. It’ll be, what, four hours?”

Emma nods. “Yeah. That’s what we heard.”

“I’ll be watching,” she grins. “And Charlie will go to sleep in an hour.”

“Good,” Emma nods. She turns to Killian, who fidgets with the buttons on his suit jacket restlessly. “Ready to go, babe?”

“Aye,” he nods in the affirmative. He settles his hand on the small of her back and they both look over at Charlie in time to see him understand what’s going on. He starts to cry and Emma’s heart aches. She grimaces and looks up at Killian, but he shakes his head. “He’ll be alright.”

She hopes he’s right, because her gut twists restlessly and she doesn’t think she’ll be able to think of anything but the sound of his sad cry the whole night.

///

**month thirty-six. awards show, las vegas, nevada.**

The place is pretty massive and there are hundreds of invitees. It’s a miracle they’ve been nominated, because the album is so new, but they have been.

They ride up to the red carpet in a black limo, all of the guys and their ladies, who have flown out especially for tonight, and Emma sits between Killian and Belle, much to her delight.

She holds Killian’s hand, because he’s being quietly nervous, staring outside instead of talking like the rest of the limo is.

“I’m so excited,” Belle gushes. She has her hair up in a pretty bow and her dress is perfectly fitting. Her hand is in Will’s lap, and the drummer has a happy grin on his face, clearly pleased to be reunited with his lady. “Do you think you’ll win, Will?”

“I don’t know,” Will hesitates. “It’s a good album, but is it worthy of top of the year?”

Robin, Jefferson, and Victor laugh.

“I don’t know,” Emma teases. “You’ve been sitting pretty on the charts for months now. People love you.”

Then they pull up to the carpet and the door opens. Killian looks at her and she smiles softly at him.

“Hey,” she says as soon as they stand up outside, “it’s okay. I’m here. Don’t worry about any of it. Just have fun with me.”

Killian nods and grins. He leans in for a quick kiss and then holds out his arm for her. “Milady?”

Emma smiles sweetly and gladly slides her hands against his arm. She’s proud to be his date and to stand by his side on the carpet, even if the flashing lights start to get overwhelming.

As they’re standing on the carpet, Killian’s arm slips around her middle and he bumps his nose against the side of her head in order to whisper in her ear, “I feel like I should start singing or something.”

Emma laughs and looks up at him affectionately, scrunching her nose up. “You’re so nervous. Don’t be nervous, Killian. It’s just a party.”

He presses a kiss to her forehead and then they start to walk off the carpet when they’re directed to. He takes her hand and squeezes it then and she thinks he’s never been more attractive to her than he is now, with his suit and eyes shining blue.

They’re directed to another carpet, with interviewers, and they stand together for a few.

Others, Killian does alone, or with members of the band, and she watches him go from completely quiet and _nervous_ to gaining fluency in his tone and confidence in the way he smirks and arches his eyebrows for the video recordings.

Everyone’s in love with him. They all want more time, even though he can’t give it to them, and by the time they reach the end of the row, he says jovially, “Hey, what if I interview Emma?”

Emma laughs and so does the female interviewer, but she agrees, and it’s how they end up. He’s holding a microphone and there’s a camera on her, and the moment he starts, he has her giggling.

“Emma Swan! What a pleasure to see you here tonight.”

She nods her head. “It’s nice to be here.”

“So, what’s it like, being married to such a devilishly handsome award-nominated artist?”

She just giggles and shakes her head. “It’s good. When he’s not reminding me of how he’s nominated for an award.”

Killian lifts his eyebrows and winks at the camera, only making her laugh again. He turns back to her swiftly, a wicked smile on his face.

“Now, you just had a baby, and I find that hard to believe. You’re bloody gorgeous in this dress, love.” Emma blushes and rolls her eyes at the way his eyes caress the length of her body. Then, he tilts his head, “By the way, can we talk about how cute he is?”

Emma smiles warmly, thinking of the little boy with bright blue eyes and soft dirty blonde hair. “Cutest little pirate in the world.”

Killian’s voice softens exponentially and she thinks it’s beautiful, how much he loves his son, “Aye, love. The absolute cutest.”

He asks her then, “So are you looking forward to the show tonight?”

Emma hums. “Of course. It’ll be fun.”

“And do you think The Pirates have any shot at winning?”

She nods. “Absolutely.”

///

As they sit in the venue for the show, Killian keeps conversation light with the people around him.

They’re sitting by some really talented artists and he doesn’t know what to do in their presence, so he just lets them come to him. A few are huge fans and want selfies, to which he happily complies, leaving Emma’s side for but a moment to engage the huge names in music for a photograph.

When he returns to his wife, she smiles widely at him. This is their first awards show and he doesn’t think he ever wants to attend one without the comfort that is Emma Swan at his side.

“That was pretty exciting. You’ve been a huge fan of him for, what, all of your life?” she teases, her eyebrows high and her laugh teasing.

Killian laughs breathily. “I… I don’t know… “ He shrugs and Emma takes his hand to squeeze it affectionately.

“You’re one of them now, babe. Get used to it.”

He drags his tongue along his lower lip and shakes his head. “I don’t think I ever could.”

The tour has been incredible thus far, with each venue proving to be impossibly better than the last. He and the guys have had more fun with each progressing night and he doesn’t think they’ve been better.

Emma and Charlie have been in the front row of a few of the larger venues where no one can bother them, and afterwards, they go do autographs and meet-and-greets, where he’s able to get face-to-face time with the people who support him and his music.

_That’s_ where he belongs. He loves being on the road, playing his songs, for a willing audience. And it’s all so bright here, with cameras and lights, with celebrities mingling who’ve known each other far longer than he’s even been on the radar.

He does like this, though. He likes knowing what he’s been doing isn’t in vain- that people have actually been listening and enjoying his music enough for it to merit being nominated for an award, well, actually, they’ve been nominated _twice_.

He likes knowing he isn’t alone in his struggles. He’s spoken with a few of the married artists in the room around him about how hard it is to leave their families behind, and how they have solved problems like privacy intrusions or rude fans online.

They’re asked to take their seats for sake of the fact that there’s a television broadcast happening here tonight, and once things start rolling, Killian feels his nerves prickling in his fingertips.

It’s silly, really, because he doesn’t _need_ the validation of an award to know his band is doing well. He knows they’re doing well when he sees how much fun they’re having right along with everyone in the crowd.

But he’s nervous. Maybe it’s because he’s been doing this for ten years with a sudden boom in interest only happening recently. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s been excited about tonight ever since they watched the announcement video online, and now it’s _here_.

It’ll change things, if they win. They won’t just be The Pirates, they’ll have awards behind their name, and it’ll give them more opportunities and collaborative ventures won’t be impossible. He knows they aren’t now, but it’s better when your name has been highlighted as being the best of the best.

And even though he shouldn’t care, he does. It’s why his knee starts jiggling and he keeps checking his watch for the time, even as Emma dances beside him to performances, and tugs on his hand to get him to do the same.

He does, glad that she’s here with him to bring him out of his own head. She smiles at him under the flashing colorful lights and he can’t help but smile right back at her.

Once, he twirls her, and he thinks she must be an angel.

When their first category is announced, Killian sits upright in his chair.

The guys are seated beside him, but his only focus is the way Emma’s fingers grip his. He exchanges a smile with her when the camera points to them and he grins at the camera, causing the place to erupt with cheers.

He chuckles and Emma laughs in his ear, rubbing a circle over his shoulder blade when he leans forward enough.

And then things just get fuzzy. He doesn’t know how to move or breathe.

They’ve said it, “The Pirates.”

And he’s wide eyed on big screens in the front of the room as Emma nudges him in the arm.

He turns to her and she’s smiling so proudly at him, and all he keeps thinking about is how much she believes in him, so he gives her a kiss, and then stands up on shaky legs to follow the rest of the guys up to the stage in order to accept the award.

He isn’t sure what he says when he’s given the microphone, because he has a million thoughts all at once, but what he’s certain of is that he says, “Thank you. Thank you so much. Um… Emma, this is for you, my love. I don’t think we could’ve done this without you. I love you. Okay. Thank you.”

///

**month thirty-six. hotel, las vegas, nevada.**

Charlie is _so_ very excited when Emma and Killian enter their hotel room. It’s almost midnight and Emma’s exhausted, but it was an amazing evening and they were even able to grab burgers with the guys afterwards in celebration of not one, but _two_ awards.

Killian approaches Charlie’s crib, his suit jacket discarded on the bed, and he rolls his sleeves up as he leans over the baby.

Emma toes out of her shoes and runs her fingers through her hair as she steps over to the connecting door to Mary Margaret and David’s room. The two are sitting up in bed while their little ones sleep and they wave at her with big smiles on their lips.

“Hi!” Mary Margaret whispers excitedly. “We were watching! So exciting!”

Emma bobs her head, a happy smile on her lips. “Yeah! Thank you for keeping an eye on Charlie. Was he good?”

David smiles. “Yes. He was great. He only cried, what, when they left?”

Mary Margaret nods in agreement. “Yes, and it wasn’t for long at all. He just needed a hug from Leo and then he was good to go.”

Emma’s heart warms and she glances over at the bed that Leo sleeps in, his dark hair contrasted against the pillow under his head.

“That’s good,” she sighs. Emma glances back into her room and finds Killian holding Charlie in his arms, pressing kisses to his cheeks. “Well, I should go. We’ll talk tomorrow first thing. Gotta get back to LA for the show.”

“Right,” Mary Margaret agrees. “Good night, Emma!”

“Night!” she whispers happily in response, giving both of them a wave as she closes the door.

Killian sits on the edge of their bed with Charlie in his arms, the little boy so happy to be in his daddy’s arms that he snuggles so close and babbles in a low tone.

“Was he good?” Killian asks.

Emma nods as she sinks down on the bed beside her husband. “Yeah. Like he always is.”

Killian hums. Charlie sees her then and reaches out his hand for her to take.

“Hi, baby.” Emma chuckles when he wants out of Killian’s arms and then takes him from him, giving him a few kisses to his head as he snuggles against her. “Were you waiting for us to come back to you? Hm?”

Emma meets his eyes and he makes a happy noise, causing both she and Killian to laugh.

“I’m going to get ready for bed,” Killian says.

Emma hums as she carries Charlie up toward the pillows of the bed. She sets him down on his back and he stretches, happily playing with his Goofy and sucking on it when she offers it to him.

She waits for Killian to return from the bathroom, smelling like mint and a shower, his white shirt and underwear the only thing he has on when he crawls up into bed beside their son.

It takes her only a little while to prepare herself for bed, and by the time she returns to the luxurious looking bed, she finds both of her boys sleepy, though Killian’s more awake than she is, with a smile on his lips as he allows Charlie to wrap his fingers around one of his.

Emma lies down and turns toward them.

“I was just on the phone with the label exec,” he tells her.

She arches an eyebrow. “Really?”

He hums. “Aye. They figured I’d still be up. Anyway,” he takes a deep breath. “They want us to consider a world tour.”

Her heart flutters within her chest and her eyes widen. “A world tour.”

Killian seems excited about it, smiling wider. “Aye. It would happen soon. A little while after we finish this one off.”

He turns his gaze to Charlie and Emma does too, finding it sweet, how Charlie’s little chubby cheeks are a little rosy while his eyelashes flutter against them. He fights sleep for but a moment before it claims him and then his breathing evens out.

Emma reaches up to stroke back his soft hair and she leaves a kiss to the side of his head. She’d missed him so much tonight, and getting to be back with him is a joy.

“I’ll ask the guys what they think tomorrow,” Killian tells Emma. “I think they’ll say yes, though. I think it’s a good idea. Get out of the states. Away from the chaos of fans. We can be tourists. I can show you where I grew up.”

Emma looks up at him and smiles softly. “I’d like that.”

“Aye.” Killian agrees softly. They stare at each other with gentle smiles on their lips for a few moments and then he says, “I love you. Thank you for being my rock tonight.”

She blushes and shakes her head. “You don’t need me to be your rock.”

“And yet you do it so easily,” he replies as if he can’t believe it.

Emma reaches out to take his hand and takes a deep breath. “Congratulations on your wins tonight, Mr. Jones. You deserve everything and then some.”

Her husband takes her hand to his lips and kisses her palm. “You inspire me. If anyone deserved the awards tonight it was you.”

She closes her eyes and laughs through her nose.

“It’s true,” Killian insists as her eyes open again. “I love you, Emma.”

“I love you too, Killian.”


	24. Chapter 24

twenty-four.

**month thirty-six. hotel, los angeles, california.**

They’re sitting up in bed, not wanting to do anything even though the weight of responsibility presses upon them. There’s a show tonight and they should probably get their laundry done. Emma also needs to do a lot for the band from a management standpoint, but she can forget about it easily when Charlie’s between them, cooing as he plays with her fingers.

It’s Killian that decides to be wild and check the depths of the Internet for pictures of them at the awards show, and when he finds them, he grins wildly, lifting his eyebrows as he looks to her.

“What?” she asks as Charlie crawls up to her and presses his little hands over her middle.

She lifts him into her arms and smiles, giving him a kiss to his forehead as he rests against her easily.

Killian pivots his computer to her and she sees a picture of them on the carpet, a sweet shot of Killian kissing her forehead as they’re about to go, and she smiles at him.

“We’re kind of cute.” Emma teases lightly.

“Kind of?” he asks, and then finds another picture. This one’s of them standing on the carpet smiling softly at the cameras. They do look quite nice together she has to admit. “Look at us. I’m not saying we stole the show, but…”

Emma giggles and Charlie laughs because of it, his little eyes on her when she glances down. She squeezes his toes and gives a kiss to his nose. “Do you think we’re cute, Charlie? Hm? Are Mama and Papa half as cute as you are?”

Charlie just grins at her and she looks over at her husband, who stares lovingly at the pair of them. “The fans loved our choice of clothing. I’ve received many a message about how lovely you looked.”

Emma hums. She tilts her head at him. “And what did _you_ think?”

“I think I made it fairly clear what I thought,” he teases, lifting his eyebrows playfully. His tongue traces his lower lip and her cheeks fill with a grin easily. “You were bloody gorgeous, darling.”

Emma leans in to close the distance between them and he kisses her sweetly.

Afterward, she takes a soft breath. “You have a show tonight and you need to shower before we head out for dinner with the guys.”

“Aye,” Killian agrees. He closes his laptop and sets it down on the bed between them. Then, he looks down at Charlie and grins.

Emma looks at their son as he clutches her shirt in his hand and tips his head up at her.

“Hi, Charlie,” Emma says sweetly. “Hi, baby.”

“Mmmm,” Charlie hums. “Mama. Mama. Mama.”

Emma’s heart swells at the word he’s been using fairly recently. She pinches his side and kisses his nose. “That’s right. Mama.”

Charlie leans his weight into her and sighs happily, to which Emma turns to her husband and smiles gently as she presses her cheek against the baby’s head.

Emma scrunches up her nose at him. “Go have a shower. Even award winning artists need to be clean for dinner.”

Killian sighs. He leans into her and gives her a kiss. “You’re lucky I have a soft spot for smelling good for you, Swan.”

She watches him pull himself off of their hotel bed and bites on her lower lip when he glances back at her. He raises an eyebrow.

“You enjoying yourself, love?”

She hums, blatantly staring at his bottom. “You looked really hot in that suit last night, by the way.”

Killian rolls his eyes. “You’re impossible.”

“And you love me for it.”

He shakes his head. “You’re right. I do.”

///

**month thirty-six. venue, los angeles, california.**

Emma stands in the front of the venue, in the secluded area reserved for VIPs and guests of the band, which includes Emma, Charlie, and David and Mary Margaret, with their babies in strollers sound asleep.

Emma laughs with Mary Margaret when Charlie snuggles against her and tries to get his headphones off.

“I know you want to listen to Daddy and your uncles normally, but you have to wear these, little duckling.” Emma murmurs, pressing her fingers against his.

Charlie complains on a whine that turns into a severe tantrum, and Emma sighs heavily. She gives her friends an apologetic look and turns to head backstage so Charlie can get a hug from his daddy to help his tears go away.

As she’s walking, with her little boy’s cries loud in her ears, she sees one of the girls they’d met at Disneyland just the day prior. The girl smiles at her and waves her over, and Emma has held eye contact for just long enough for it to be rude, so she walks over to her.

Charlie’s fussing, still, and she can hear the crowd getting restless. It’s almost time for the show and she has two options: get backstage and stay there, or wait for Killian to come out on stage and hope it soothes their baby.

“Hi!” the girl says. “I know this is a crazy question, but I was wondering if you could get me backstage. I’ve been a fan for _years_ -”

Charlie cries louder and she sighs, taking his headphones off. He softens his cries, but still sobs regardless, his body squirming against hers.

“I would love to help,” Emma says, “but I have to be Mom right now and take him backstage. I’ll… I can meet you here after the show, okay?”

The fan nods and starts apologizing, but Emma shrugs her off, turning away with Charlie’s head pressed against her chest. Just as she’s entering the hallway backstage, she sees the back of Robin as they’re heading through the door to go on stage.

On a sigh, Emma kisses Charlie’s head and carries him back into the green room. He’s not as upset now, and Emma listens to the dull sound of the bass as the show starts through the walls.

She could probably go back out there, but Charlie is infinitely happier when she sets him down on his back on the couch and she sighs, running her fingers through his hair as her little boy fusses restlessly.

“You want to listen to Daddy sing, Charlie?” she asks as she pulls out her phone.

She settles for listening to the band through the speakers of her phone and falls asleep to the feeling of the concert swelling around her through walls and doors as soon as Charlie does.

///

“They mean well,” Emma tells Killian as they’re sitting on the couch together.

Charlie’s in his arms, sound asleep, his little lips parted as he breathes in deep. It’s well after the show, well after he’s spent an hour of his time with the fans signing his name and taking pictures.

She’d been asleep with Charlie cuddled against her when he came back to see. He’d missed her quite a deal when he realized she wasn’t in the crowd, but he understands why. She’s got a lot on her plate, and if Charlie isn’t in the mood, that means she isn’t either.

“It’s just a lot every single show. And I know you love meeting them, but… I’m a mom and I’m a wife, and I have to also be your manager. I don’t… I guess I don’t have time to be a fan too.”

Killian frowns at her. “Darling, you can be my fan. Isn’t that what marriage is?”

Emma sighs. “Yes.” A small smile fills her lips. She presses her palm against his arm. “I think what I want to do is stay at the hotel or on the bus and you can do shows without me there. At least until the end of this tour. Maybe… maybe things will be better after we go home for a little while and then on tour around the world.”

He gives her a wary look. “Alright. If you’ll feel better staying back.”

Emma pulls on a smile. “Yeah. Charlie needs me. And as much as I love it at your shows, I have to sacrifice sometimes. That’s what being his mom means.”

Killian sucks in a deep breath as he contemplates her proposition. He glances around when Robin and Will laugh loudly at something Jefferson had said, and then he looks down at the sleeping baby in his arms.

“You’re absolutely right, Swan.” Killian looks at his wife and leans in to press a kiss to her temple. “I’ll miss you, but you’re right. It’s not sustainable right now. Maybe when he’s a bit older it’ll be easier.”

Emma nods. “Yeah. Maybe.”

Killian bites down on his lip. “In the meanwhile, we’ve got a tour to finish.”

///

**month forty. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma frantically moves from the upstairs bathroom down to Killian’s music room.

She hears him playing his piano, and it’s a calming sound, especially with Charlie wobbling beside his papa, his fingers gripping the cushion of the seat. Killian beams down at their son, cheering him on as he plays the song.

  
“C’mon, lad,” he says, laughing. “Show me how you dance.”

Charlie, in turn, bounces and his face lights up with a huge grin. Emma, holding her phone in her hand, almost forgets why she came to the room to begin with.

She’d been in the middle of cleaning the house from top to bottom, in an attempt to get it ready for them when they leave for a few months on a tour across the world.

Their bedroom is decorated in their clothing that they’re getting packed up and she has a similar situation in Charlie’s room, with his clothes and toys and various other things.

Travelling with a one-year-old is going to be an interesting ordeal and she isn’t sure she’s ready for it.

“Papa,” Charlie babbles when he falls back onto his bottom.

Killian stops playing music and leans down to pick the little boy up. He hoists him in the air above, tossing his head back as he grins and lifts his eyebrows at the boy.

Then, he brings him down to his lap and kisses the top of his head as Charlie’s baby fingers press against the keys of his piano.

She listens to Killian’s voice drop to a low murmur and sighs as she leans against the doorframe. Charlie presses a few keys before Killian starts to play the piano for him, using his little hands to press down on the keys as he moves.

The song he starts singing is Emma’s song, something that makes her smile and close her eyes as she walks into the room.

She presses her chin down in the crook of his neck and he smiles in her peripheral, continuing to sing.

“I just got a phone call from the label,” she tells him. “The album went platinum over night.”

Killian stops playing abruptly and Emma leans back so her husband can turn to her. He looks dumbfounded, his eyebrows high as his jaw falls open. “Say again?”

Emma laughs. She watches him stand up with Charlie held in his arms so he’s sitting facing her with Killian’s arm under his bottom.

“The album went platinum last night,” she tells him, and Killian just shakes his head as he smiles wordlessly. “I would say I told you so, but it feels redundant.”

Her husband barks a laugh and wraps his free arm around her, making her reply in kind with her ear pressed to his collarbone as she stares at Charlie. Killian’s lips press against the top of her head.

“Swan, this is quite something,” he murmurs. “I don’t know how we would have gotten this far without you. Truly.”

Emma reaches in to play with Charlie’s leg and he giggles as he leans against his father’s chest. She leans away in order to face Killian and smiles softly at him.

“I think you would have done it eventually. And I would have loved you regardless.” She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses where she can, murmuring, “Baby, I’m so proud of you.”

Killian’s lips press against the side of her head. “Gods, Swan, I never thought this would happen.”

Emma steps back again and takes a soft breath as she examines her husband. Charlie starts babbling, saying half words as he picks at a button on Killian’s shirt.

“Charlie, guess what?” Emma asks, reaching out to take the boy when he reaches an arm out for her. “Your daddy’s basically Taylor Swift.”

Killian rolls his eyes and she watches his shoulders fall easily. He smiles, finally able to take it in stride, and as Emma settles Charlie on her hip, he leans into her, giving her cheek a kiss.

“I’m going to post a quick thank you to the fans and call the guys.”

She can’t wipe the soft smile from her lips as she watches her husband run his fingers through his hair as he shakes his head. “Good plan, Superstar.”

///

**month forty. hotel, london, england.**

There’s light pouring in from the windows behind the bed and Killian can hear his son chattering away from his crib beside him.

He cracks open his eyes and finds the time to be eight, and it surprises him because usually, Charlie has a hard time with time changes. He does like his sleep quite a bit, much like his mum.

They’ve been in the UK for only a few days now, having arrived a few days prior to their first show so as to adjust to the time change and do some touring about with the band.

“Papa?” Charlie asks, and Killian can’t keep from smiling as he slides up in bed.

He glances over at his wife, still sound asleep with her back to him, her golden tresses draped messily over her shoulders. Killian goes to Charlie’s crib, finding his son grinning up at him as his little fingers grip the bars and he bounces on his toes.

“Hi, Charlie,” Killian whispers.

He reaches into the crib and takes the eager little boy into his arms. He awards him multiple kisses and finds his way back into bed with him in his lap.

As Charlie sits up facing him, he presses his hands against Killian’s bared chest and makes a lot of noise.

Killian laughs softly. He brushes back Charlie’s hair and sighs. “Happy birthday, Charlie. It has been my honor to watch you grow over this year.”

Charlie smiles and pushes forward on Killian’s chest. Killian slides his son upright, so he’s balanced on his thighs, and Charlie grins happily at him.

Killian presses kisses to his cheeks until Charlie falls to his bottom and just grins up at him as their hands join together.

  
Emma stirs and turns to them, a tired wince on her face. She peels back a gentle smile and reaches out to squeeze Charlie’s toes. “Happy birthday, baby boy. You’re one.” She looks up at Killian. “Can you believe he’s _one_?”

Killian laughs. “It feels like just yesterday you were rousing me from a fairly deep slumber to inform me your water had broken.”

Emma chuckles with him and then licks her lips as she runs her fingers over her hair to tuck the loose strands behind her ear. He can see a flicker of sadness in her eyes, but it’s quickly replaced when Charlie says her name.

She slides upright in bed and gladly takes him into her arms to play with him.

Charlie Jones, with his blonde hair and blue eyes, his little fingers and toes, with the sweetest laughter he’s ever heard, and a voice so innocent he swears he belongs in the heavens above, is one year old.

It’s hard to believe he’s one year old. It feels like they’d just barely been planning on going on tour, much less planning on having a baby so early in their relationship.

“We have so much fun planned for you today, Charlie,” Emma murmurs. “You’re going to love being one. I can’t wait for you to keep growing, even though I love you this small and sweet.” She winces at the last part and kisses Charlie’s head.

His wife looks at him and they share a soft smile.

“He’s growing so fast.”

“ _Too_ fast,” she insists. “Way too fast.”

Killian leans over to kiss her. “Well, there’s always room for more in the family, darling. I’m sure he’ll want a brother or sister soon enough.”

Emma rolls her eyes and gives his cheek a firm pat. “I’ll think about it.”

He just winks at her.

///

“Charlie Jones, you had best stop growing, do you hear me?” Will asks as he holds onto him tight. Charlie has his arms around Will’s neck and Will smiles softly as he kisses his cheek. “You’re a good little lad, Charlie.”

The little party they have set up for Charlie is in their hotel room’s living area. All of the guys are here, as well as Elsa and Liam, who have come along for the London stretch of the tour on a little break from Storybrooke.

Elsa has her hair in a braid over her shoulder and she’s the one that decidedly went out of her way to go find cupcakes for Charlie’s birthday. They’re sitting on the table, along with some food for lunch and toys wrapped for Charlie to inevitably bust into.

For now, though, the little boy is happy to be passed around the room while his uncles treat him to kisses and hugs. Killian, Elsa, and Liam are sitting at the table, and Emma joins them, pulling up a chair beside her husband.

He grins at her when she sits. “Darling, Liam and I were just talking about showing you and Elsa where we went to school tomorrow.”

Emma laughs warmly. “Yeah? That sounds like fun.”

She takes his hand beneath the table and they settle over his thigh as Liam starts describing how _awful_ Killian was at school. She knows he wasn’t that bad. She’s seen his diploma.

“And to think, in just four years you’ll have a kindergartener of your own,” Liam says on a wink.

Emma groans and shakes her head. “Don’t talk like that. He’s my baby.”

Elsa chuckles just as Robin comes over with Charlie in his arms. “I think someone could use a change, Mum.”

Emma sighs and reaches out to take the little boy from him. She lifts him to sniff and scrunches up her nose on a hum. “Yep. Okay.”

///

Charlie manages to rip _some_ of the paper off of his presents, but Killian ends up taking most of the work from him. He loves all of his gifts and shows it by slapping them or putting them in his mouth straight away.

It makes them all laugh, and when Charlie finishes opening up his gifts, Killian lights a single candle on his cupcake and sets it before the boy just far enough so he won’t hurt himself with the flame.

He and the guys start flamboyantly singing for Charlie, and it makes Emma and Elsa laugh until they can’t breathe, and he thinks it’s all worth the mess that Charlie makes of his frosting and cake afterwards.

“You just wanted to get in the tub, didn’t you?” Killian asks as he sits against the bathroom wall with Charlie playing happily in the water.

Charlie babbles sweetly and makes a face at him as Emma opens the door and joins him on the floor. She smiles at Charlie and then turns her gaze to him.

“The guys are going to meet us for dinner later,” she tells him. “Liam and Elsa have some special plans tonight, so they said they’d meet us for breakfast in the morning.”

Killian hums. “Liam told me.”

He watches as Emma gathers her hair and tosses it up above her head. She smiles and leans her forearms onto the tub wall, then leans her face down onto her hands. Charlie smiles up at her happily.

“Hi,”

“Mama,” Charlie replies. He continues chattering, the sweet little boy he is.

Emma brushes her fingers over his wet hair, easily forming a little mohawk, and sighs deeply in spite of how incredibly cute the baby looks right now.

“What’s vexing you love?”

He drops his legs open and Emma crawls easily between them, resting her head under his chin as she stares at their son. Killian’s arms hold her close and Emma’s fingers find his easily.

“I’m just… I miss him when he was little. I love him at this age, don’t get me wrong, but… there was something special about having him close all the time.”

Killian smiles against her hair and breathes her in. “Aye.”

“I love our family,” she whispers, turning her head away from Charlie and shifting to meet his eyes. “Thank you for giving him to me.”

His grin spreads softly and he kisses her. Her fingers press against his cheek and slide into his hair. Their foreheads bump gently and they exchange the sweetest of smiles.

The moment lasts but a few seconds before Charlie splashes them, and then they’re laughing and gathering their son up in a towel and carrying him out to the bedroom so they can change him and put him down for a nap.

They stand before the crib after he falls asleep, hair wet and clothes still damp, and Killian tugs at Emma’s hand to walk her back toward the bed.

She sits beside him, their knees bumping, and when he turns to her, she looks up at him with a gentle smile on her lips.

“Tomorrow night we have the first show of the world tour,” Killian tells her, “and I want you to have something.”

He digs into his pocket and removes a pick. She takes it from him and studies it. “The date of the tour.”

He hums, nodding. “For your necklace.”

Emma clasps the pick tight in her hand and suddenly wraps her arms around his neck. He gladly accepts her embrace, closing his eyes as her scent fills his nose.

When she pulls back, she gingerly unlocks her necklace and slides the pick down the chain to join the others. Then, she snaps it back in place and fingers the newest addition.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “This is a big deal and I’m happy we’re here with you.”

Killian grins. “Aye. Me too.”

His wife stands then and moves to straddle his lap. He locks his arms around her as hers go around his neck and he smiles up at her when her fingers rake through his hair.

“I think… the next pick I want is a wedding pick,” she murmurs.

He hums. “I think I can manage that.”

Emma lowers her lips to his and he shuts his eyes, though she doesn’t kiss him quite yet. “And after that… I think… a baby.”

Killian’s heart skips a beat and he leans back just enough to meet her eyes, finding them alight and shining. She has a little blush in her cheeks and she smiles timidly, shrugging her shoulders.

“A baby, hm?” he asks softly. He reaches up to brush her hair back and then moves close to kiss her. “And what, pray tell, would this baby look like?”

Emma presses her forehead against his and her fingers tighten in his hair. “Only the cutest little girl in the whole world.”

Killian grins widely. “Aye. With her mother’s spirit.”

His wife’s hands drag down his back. “And her papa’s imagination.”

“Gods, but if I don’t want to meet her already,” Killian admits, to Emma’s laughter.

“Give it a few months, Daddy,” she murmurs lovingly. She leans back to meet his eyes and he swears she’s glowing. “Let’s try this one years old and touring the world thing out first.”


	25. Chapter 25

twenty-five.

**month forty-two. hotel, dublin, ireland.**

Charlie toddles around the hotel room and Killian sits on the bed with his guitar. Emma’s sitting up against the headboard, laughing, because each time Killian leans forward, Charlie shrieks and tries to walk faster, but his little feet don’t want to work with him.

He stumbles over a few times, but catches himself and then continues to play an advanced version of peek-a-boo with his dad.

Emma takes a picture of Killian grinning as he plays his guitar, just as Charlie comes to the edge of the bed. He’s grinning so wide and his fingers hold tight to Killian’s leg that’s draped over the side of the bed.

“Charlie, can you show me your favorite dance?” Killian asks. “Move those knees. Shake your bum.”

He plays a faster beat and Charlie bounces, fixated on his father, still smiling because Killian is smiling right back at him.

Killian laughs proudly as Charlie dances and Emma takes a video to send to Mary Margaret before hopping out of bed and dropping to her knees beside Charlie. His eyes get wide and excited when she reaches for his hands, and Emma sways her body with him.

Charlie lifts his feet in a stomping motion, clearly _so_ excited about the way she’s holding him, and Emma giggles. She leans in to kiss his cheek and settles her forehead against his for a second before returning to their dance on the floor of the hotel room.

Killian ends the song on a dramatic series of slow strums, lifting the neck of his guitar to accentuate it, and Emma releases her son’s hands, falling to sit on the floor while she stares up at her husband and claps for him. Charlie joins her, his little hands hitting each other while he grins happily at his father.

“Yay!” Emma cheers. She nudges Charlie in his side and he chirps. “Yay, Daddy, that was so fun.”

She turns her attention up to Killian and he smiles at her.

“Yay,” Charlie states, bouncing a little with his knees before he goes to grab a toy from the floor.

Emma and Killian both chuckle softly. Emma pulls herself up to sit on the bed with Killian and she takes a deep breath. “So. The documentary crew will be filming us today.”

“Yes,” Killian nods his head.

He puts his guitar down on the bed and they watch Charlie as he toddles up to Killian’s leg again. He holds his hands up, demanding to be lifted, and Killian grunts dramatically, pulling the boy into his lap.

Killian gives Charlie’s cheek a few kisses, much to the baby’s delight. He coos happily in Killian’s ear and slumps against him, his fingers gripping his father’s shirt tight.

“It’s been awhile since we’ve had cameras in our faces everyday,” Emma says as she watches her son’s smile. She’s in awe of how big he’s getting, of how each day that passes he’s becoming more and more like them.

Killian hums. He looks at her as he holds Charlie with a hand on his back. Charlie wants to put his fingers against Killian’s face and he starts babbling while he hooks a finger into his mouth.

Killian laughs and settles the boy down into his lap so he’s sitting.

“Well, we’ll take things slow today. We have the show tonight but we can do whatever we’d like until then.” He takes Charlie by his hands and dances them in front of the little boy so he’ll giggle.

Emma studies their son and then looks up at her husband. “Do you think Charlie would like to go see some animals?”

Killian grins at that. “Aye, love, I think he would.” He cranes his head to look at their boy. “What say you, Son? Would you like to see some animals today? Get out of the hotel?”

When Charlie shifts his face to look up at his father and smiles, both of them laugh.

///

**month forty-two. zoo, dublin, ireland.**

Merida is the producer on the little documentary crew sent by the record label, and Emma thinks she is the best person for the job.

While she’s tough and runs a tight ship, she has an incredible soft spot for Charlie, and any time Charlie so much as looks over at her, she’s helpless but to wave and gush over him. She’s already held him more often than Emma has all day, and has been nominated by Killian as his newest aunt, to which she’d awed and snuggled closer to the baby settled on her hip.

The woman has red, wild curly hair, and a clipboard she keeps pressed to her chest as they wander the zoo with their tiny crew tagging along. She doesn’t have any priorities for what they need to get, but she has a rough idea as to what this segment of the behind the scenes will feature, and she’s told Emma some of the details so she’s not out of the loop when the documentary is released.

“Look at that kitty, Charlie,” Killian says, crouching down so he can stand Charlie up on the ground before the tiger enclosure. “Isn’t he beautiful?”

Charlie has his mouth hanging open as he presses his hand to the glass. Emma stands back watching while the camera focuses on Killian and his attentiveness to his son.

Merida has a grin on her face when she looks over at her and she crosses around the camera guy to stand by her.

“Your husband is quite the family man, isn’t he, then?”  

Emma nods, her smile warm as she glances down at her husband and son. Killian laughs at the way Charlie babbles at him and he presses a kiss to his cheek as he stares at him lovingly.

“Yeah,” Emma says, looking at Merida again. “He definitely is. He hates having to go very long without seeing either of us.”

Merida gets a look on her face that translates to awe. “He’s great with him, isn’t he? God, and Charlie’s just the sweetest little boy I have ever set me eyes on!”

Emma laughs. “Thank you.”

The camera guy pulls himself up and Merida nods at him. “Okay, Emma, I was thinking we’d get the three of you having a snack or something? What do you think? Just something natural between the three of you.”

Emma nods. “Yeah. Sure. I think it’s almost time for Charlie to eat something anyway.”

They find a table to sit at in the shade and Killian holds Charlie because he doesn’t want to be in his stroller, nor does he want to be in Emma’s arms. He snuggles close to his father and makes tired noises as Killian tries to get him to sit in his lap.

“Charlie, don’t you want your carrots? Or your apples?” Emma asks, meeting his eyes. She holds up the choices and he just whines.

Killian rubs a circle over his back and Emma brushes back Charlie’s hair so she can see his eye just before it closes tight and he shifts to face Killian’s neck.

“Someone’s had quite enough excitement for the day,” Killian says and Emma sighs, tilting her head at the boy. “I think he had fun, though, didn’t you, lad? You liked seeing all of the animals.”

Charlie’s arms tighten around Killian’s neck and he says, “Okay. I think we should take him back to the hotel and find the boys so we can prepare for the show tonight.”

Emma nods in agreement. She reaches out to tug at Charlie’s foot. “Are you sure you don’t want to eat something, baby boy? I know you’d rather have a nap on Daddy. I can’t blame you. He’s really snuggly.”

Killian rolls his eyes at that and shifts Charlie in his arms so he’s resting in the crook of his arm instead. Emma hands him Charlie’s bottle and he holds it out for their son. After a moment, he touches it, signifying he wants it, and Killian grins as he feeds the boy.

“Ah,” he says as Charlie drinks. “You’re never one to deny yourself the pleasure, are you?”

Emma laughs when he looks up at her with a wink and she shakes her head at him. “Do you think he realizes how spoiled he is?”

Killian chuckles. “Probably. But we won’t let him stay that way. We’re good parents, I like to think.”

She smiles and shrugs her shoulders. “Well, with all of the family he has, I think our parenting might get overlooked on occasion.”

Killian shakes his head, giving her a look. “Not in a million years. Charlie knows his place. He knows Papa’s word is final. Don’t you, Charlie?”

Sometimes, she realizes that this man gave her this little boy, and that he’s far more giving, loving, and nurturing than she’d ever expected he could be. She’d married him without knowing if he wanted children, and now that he has a son, she almost feels as if this had been in their story all along.

It’s a seamless fit. Killian Jones is many things: a musician, a father, a husband, and he’s always cared for her and their family, even when it gets hard. He deserves a break, quite frankly, because between the release of the album and two tours, he hasn’t had a ton of time to relax and have time doing things for himself.

But she knows he wouldn’t think twice about it. If he had to choose one life over the other, he’d choose them, and she’s glad he can balance the two so well, because she knows he loves his music. It’s his heart and soul. She can see it in his eyes every time he picks up his guitar to play for her.

The thought makes her grateful as she sits there watching him with Charlie in his arms. She smiles at him when he says something that sounds like a dad joke, and then she just shakes her head as she reaches for the back of his neck in order to pull him to her for a kiss.

Emma licks her lips when they part, and Killian arches an eyebrow as she pulls back. “Now I know you can’t have appreciated my humor _that_ much, Swan. You hardly laugh at my dad jokes when they’re appropriate, much less when they’re awful.”

She laughs softly. “I love you. Is that a good enough reason to kiss you?”

His eyes soften and he nods. “Always.”

///

**month forty-two. hotel, dublin, ireland.**

“So, can you tell me something about the tour? How you think it’s going?” Merida asks as Killian sits in a chair against a plain wall in the hotel room.

He’s being lit and there’s a microphone snaked up under his shirt, and he has a camera trained on him.

It has been a while since he last had to do one of these and he can’t say he missed it one ounce.

Emma’s sitting on the other side of the room, an eye on Charlie as he sleeps in the crib, but he knows she’s listening.

“This is the first time we’ve done a tour as massive as this one. We’ve only done four shows so far, but I think it’s going incredibly well. The guys and I are having the best time and I couldn’t have asked for kinder fans. Honestly, every stop, I’m amazed by the stories they tell and the gifts that they give us.”

Merida smiles at that. She bobs her head. “Are you enjoying what down time you’re allowed?”

Killian’s smile spreads. “Aye. Quite a bit. Getting to explore the places we’ve stopped has been great. I actually grew up around England, so it’s been nice seeing it again. I got to show Emma where I went to school and we had breakfast at a little bakery I used to visit on weekends with my brother Liam. This part of the tour has been… really refreshing. I can hardly wait to see what the rest of the tour brings.”

He glances back to see Emma smiling at him and Merida asks him, “I’ve noticed that despite the success of the band, you seem to care quite a bit more about your family. Could you tell me about what drives that, maybe?”

For a moment, Killian sits in thought. He takes a breath. “You know, I met and married Emma on a television show, and we struggled to find pacing that fit the both of our schedules while we balanced getting to know one another. And with time, we’ve experienced a lot of growth in that. She’s been managing the band for three years and now that we have our son, my attitude toward devoting time to them has grown exponentially.”

He shakes his head. “I’ve got three jobs while I work, no matter what I’m doing. I’m a husband and I’m a father. Those come first. Hands down. Then I’m the head of this band. That’s not to say I’m about ready to walk out on music. I love it. God knows I couldn’t leave it just yet. But making sure Emma and Charlie have got me any time they need me is priority.”

Now he’s staring at his wife, and she has a blush in her cheeks as she tilts her head to the side. She’s sweet as ever, sitting cross legged on the chair while her hair is piled on her head. She’s got her laptop in her lap as she does some work for the band.

Merida has a little smile on her lips. “Yeah. That sounds about right.”

///

In an attempt to get more comfortable with the fans that follow her on social media, Emma has found that posting pictures has become easier while they’ve been on tour.

She snaps pictures of Killian and the guys backstage before shows, she takes pictures of Killian while he’s asleep, huddled under blankets and daring her to wake him, and she posts pictures of Charlie’s little shoes or Charlie with his fingers on the keys to the piano while Jefferson teaches him a thing or two.

It’s something that’s helped her step into her place as part of Killian’s life. Not that she wasn’t before. But before she’d felt helpless, as if sharing any part of her life with him was going to end in nasty comments, but after a few posts and updates from her life, she’s found that not all fans are angry and disgusting. She’s actually found that most of the fans come from the television show and love to see them together.

Emma decides to post the video she’d taken of Killian playing his guitar and dancing with Charlie and her feed explodes with excitement. She has to laugh as she’s reviewing the comments as she lies in bed.

“What’s so funny?” Killian asks, his eyes closed and his voice a sleepy grumble.

The show had gone until one in the morning and he’d been _amazing_ on stage. The fans in the audience were all so kind and Emma found that being off to the side of the stage was almost unnecessary. She probably could have gone out to mingle with the fans.

He’d winked at her when he started playing her song, and she’d danced even though he couldn’t see her. It’s been awhile since they’ve shared a moment at his shows. She kind of misses it.

“Nothing,” she says quietly. Emma turns over onto her side to face him, being dimly lit by the lamp behind him.

“It’s two in the morning. I think it’s time for bed, love.” Killian’s eyes open just barely and she shuts her phone off.

She boosts herself up and leans over her husband in order to put her phone down and turn the light off, and he grunts dramatically when she bumps into him on her way down. Emma just laughs and slides her arm up under her pillow as she stares at him in the dark.

“I think the fans miss the show,” she tells him, almost surprising even herself.

He cracks an eye open and arches an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

Emma takes a breath and Killian’s arm goes around her middle. “Because I posted a video of you and Charlie earlier and they went crazy for it. I think they miss seeing us, I don’t know, _together_?”

Killian smiles a little and through squinted eyes he says, “We’re a bit busy for a television show at the moment, darling. I thought you hated it anyway.”

“I do,” she sighs. “But now its kind of part of us, isn’t it? We offered up our lives to them for a month. They saw us fall in love.”

Killian’s thumb rubs a circle into her hip. “We don’t owe them anything now, Emma.” He opens his eyes and in all of his tired wisdom, he whispers, “Maybe we can have a crew film when we renew our vows. Post something online.”

She hums. “Yeah. Maybe.”

///

**month forty-two. bar, dublin, ireland.**

They go drinking with the guys and leave Charlie with Merida when she insists that she can watch him. She grew up with three baby brothers, after all.

It’s their last night in Ireland before they move on with the tour and their final show had ended at around eleven. Killian doesn’t think he’s ever really had as much fun as he’s had on this tour, and getting to spend time with his wife like this is even better.

Her body is warm against his as she settles between his legs, leaning back while his arms wrap around her middle. She’s taking a picture of them, and he’s making her laugh with the faces he’s making. He leaves a kiss to the side of her head and shuts his eyes as he lingers there, his fingers sliding up under her shirt so he can touch the skin of her belly.

Emma squirms at his touch and her fingers find his hair after she sets her phone down. “I want to go exploring. We should go exploring so we can have fun while we’re here. For us. _Us_ fun.”

He laughs as she turns to him. Her head falls to her shoulder and her teeth bite at her lower lip as she studies his face. “We haven’t really had much time to ourselves, have we?”

She shakes her head swiftly. “Nope.” She pops the ‘p’ and whirls around, reaching for his hand as she walks forward.

“Bye, guys!” Killian calls out, waving to his band.

The guys all laugh heartily and he’d probably swat Jeff on the back of his head for whistling while Whale catcalls, but his head is kind of foggy and he just rolls his eyes instead when Robin calls back, “Be safe you two!”

They’re both just a little drunk. He knows because Emma doesn’t usually giggle when he opens doors for her, and he doesn’t usually trip on his feet as he tries to make sure he can.

The air outside is nice and Emma’s hand is gentle in his. She smiles at him as she sways her hips as she moves in front of him. “Okay, okay. Where are we going to go? We should probably go someplace.”

He hums thoughtfully. “We should… go make a wish in a fountain. On a fountain. Something like that.”

Emma’s fingers dance up his chest and she tickles the skin of his neck, making him shiver and jerk his shoulders up, much to her delight. She bites down on her lip as she giggles. “Okay.”

They walk the streets together for quite some time before they find a fountain with water gushing out of it gracefully. Emma, as soon as she sets eyes on it, releases his hand in order to go boost herself up and stand on the ledge.

“Swan,” he laughs. “What are you doing?”

“I’m making a wish _on_ a fountain.” Her eyes twinkle at him with teasing and he rolls his eyes.

Emma takes a few large steps forward and wobbles side to side so she has to spread her arms like a bird. He thinks she might fall and for some reason, it makes him laugh heartily.

He goes to her side and takes her extended arm she’s using for balance as she says, “I think I want to wish for something sweet. Like… I really want Reece’s Pieces. Or…. maybe Twix. Yes, Twix. I want to wish for a Twix bar.”

Killian raises an eyebrow. “Darling, you can’t waste your wish on chocolate.”

Emma’s foot slips and she yelps as she falls into the fountain, and he’s just drunk enough to go in after her, wanting to save her.

They both sit up in the fountain laughing, and Emma grips his soaking wet shirt in her hands. “See? _Us_ fun.”

He laughs with her and, sobering up by just a fraction, Killian stands, hoisting her up into his arms so they can get out of the fountain before they’re seen like this.

Killian’s arm wraps around her middle and he kisses her temple as they laugh their way toward their hotel. “You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, Emma Swan. The _greatest_.”

“And you make everyday better.” Emma replies, craning her neck to look up at him.

Her smile is brighter than all of the stars in the sky, and they’re still soaked to their bones. Emma’s teeth chatter as she sucks in a breath and he rubs his hand up and down her arm in an attempt to soothe her. But all he keeps thinking about is how lucky he is that she’s here.

“You’re so bloody amazing,” he whispers, then, looking around, he says a touch loudly, “Everybody, my wife is amazing!”

Emma gasps and laughs at him, shaking her head. “Shut up or you’ll get us in trouble!”

Killian stops walking in order to kiss her right there in the middle of the sidewalk. “Emma, you’re so much stronger than I ever could be and I’m- gods, my love, you’re a walking inspiration. I can’t believe I haven’t written _more_ songs about you and your eyes. God, your _eyes,_ Emma. They’re so beautiful.”

His wife smiles at him and drapes her arm around his middle. She starts walking forward slowly. “Come on baby, we gotta get back to the hotel for what I want to do with you now.”

Killian’s smile spreads wryly. “Well-”

Emma smacks his chest and he just laughs as they walk on ahead.

///

**month forty-three. plane, beijing, china.**

Charlie’s sitting in Emma’s lap as they wait for the plane to be filled. Killian’s beside her, talking with Robin who sits across from them with Will.

Will’s already asleep, his headphones on and arms folded to his chest.

There’s something about seeing him cuddling a pillow that makes Emma laugh every single time, and while she knows Belle has received plenty of photos of the sight, she figures one more won’t spoil the fun, so she snaps another and sends it to her.

The tour has taken them to so many places, and Emma doesn’t think she’s ever had as much fun as she’s had in the past month of exploring. She knows Killian and the guys have adored getting to meet the fans that come out to the shows and they’ve loved performing every few nights.

With each stop on tour, Killian has made sure that they’ve purchased at least two tee shirts and a keychain, and Emma just rolls her eyes and asks him where he’s going to keep all of his souvenirs, but he just tells her he’ll buy a new suitcase for them. And he already has.

They’re on their way to the back end of the tour after a few nights in China, and while being on the road is amazing, she does miss home just a little bit more than she’d thought she would. She misses her bed and her kitchen and her puppy. And she misses her friends and the calm of Storybrooke.

But she would never trade this experience for anything, because it’s been so amazing. And, oddly enough, it’s only strengthened their marriage.

Charlie has his face against the open window and he’s happy, his fingers touching the opening to the world outside.

“He’s probably the only boy in the whole world that loves flying as much as he does.” Killian says lowly.

Emma looks at him and smiles softly. “Well, it’s a good thing. Don’t jinx us, Papa.”

Her fingers grip Charlie by his middle and he cranes his head to look at her with a wide smile, his tiny teeth showing proudly.

Killian takes a picture of their son like this, sitting on her lap with a happy look on his face while his hands touch the window.

“Do you know that our drunken fountain escapades made the Internet explode?” he asks after he posts the picture to his social media with her approval.

Emma raises an eyebrow. “Really? That was like a month ago. Why didn’t I hear about it sooner?”

He laughs. “I had Elsa take the photos down before you saw. They were pretty unflattering.”

Emma narrows her eyes at him so he’ll continue, and he does, saying, “Someone caught us, apparently, and there were several photographs posted of you falling in and me diving in after you.” She almost wishes she could see the pictures, but then again, she’d probably die if she did. “They called me the hero, obviously.”

She faux gasps, giving him a teasing smirk. “My real life Prince Charming.” After a moment she sighs. “We should probably never drink again. I don’t think I’ve ever had a headache as bad as the one I had the next morning.”

Killian stares at her lovingly, as he does when he’s about to say something _completely_ ridiculous. She isn’t let down in the least. He leans in to kiss her temple and murmurs, “Will you marry me?”

Emma gazes at him for a few moments, a smile spreading on her face. “Yes.”

“Soon?” he asks, lifting his eyebrows hopefully. His teeth bite down on his lower lip and she thinks he must have doubled up on his cologne, despite the fact that he’s sitting beside her wearing a graphic tee and sweats.

She giggles. “Yes. _Soon_. When we go home we’ll start planning for real.”

Killian sighs, sitting back into his chair more. He looks at Charlie as the little boy curls up against Emma’s chest, his fingers tangling in her shirt in a vice grip.

“You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me,” he murmurs, and it makes her heart flip. She turns her head against her headrest and stares back at him.  

“And you make everyday better.”


	26. Chapter 26

twenty-six.

**month forty-four. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

It’s midnight when they get home, and they’re all wide-awake thanks to their bodies being in a different time zone.

Killian carries their bags in from the car while Emma sets Charlie down in the foyer, laughing when their puppy comes charging out of the kitchen. Elsa and Liam had been taking care of him for them while they were gone, and as Emma kneels down to stroke behind Buddy’s ears, he yips excitedly.

Charlie’s eyes are wide and he talks to the puppy in a high-pitched babble. It’s been quite some time since Charlie has seen Buddy, so she’s happy that he’s comfortable with him.

“Did you miss Buddy, baby boy?” Emma asks, admiring the way Buddy so gently sets his chin on Charlie’s lap when the baby sits down.

She reaches up to brush away Charlie’s ever-growing hair out of his face and sighs. He’s so sweet, her baby boy, but he’s getting bigger with each passing day, and soon enough, he’ll need to get his haircut. All of the hair he’d had as a baby is still here between her fingers, and she’s sad that she’ll have to see it go because it’s just another reminder that he’s growing up.

Elsa comes out of the kitchen, her eyes bright and smile spread wide. “You’re back! Hi!”

Emma laughs as she rises back onto her feet. She goes to her sister-in-law and wraps her up in a hug.

“Sorry we’re later than we’d said we’d be. Charlie was a little upset to still be traveling so we had to stop for a walk outside.”

Elsa shakes her head as Emma steps away from her. “That’s perfectly fine. That was a long plane ride.”

Charlie’s voice is still happy as he chatters with Buddy, the puppy giving his face a bath with his tongue. The little boy giggles as he’s taken to the floor, and Emma and Elsa laugh with him.

“I have missed him _so_ much,” Elsa says, her brow creasing and her eyes softening as the two of them walk toward Charlie.

She has almost reached him when Killian enters the house and smiles upon seeing Elsa. “Hey! Elsa!”

Elsa chuckles. “Hi, Killian.”

After setting two of their suitcases down by the door, Killian gives Elsa a hug. “How was Buddy? Well behaved?”

Elsa nods. “Absolutely. I think Liam might have actually taken a liking to him this time.”

Killian chuckles and Buddy trots away from Charlie in order to greet Killian with a yip. “Well, my boy, how have you fared? Did you miss us? Hm?”

He kneels down so he can scratch Buddy’s ears, making his little eyes squint happily, and Emma smiles as she watches.

“So, where _is_ my brother?”

Elsa laughs. “He’s at home sleeping. He has to be up early for work tomorrow and he figured you guys would like to be welcomed home slowly rather than overwhelmed all at once.”

Killian hums, rising to his feet. “I suppose he’s right. We’ve had quite the trip.”

“You guys are probably wide awake, aren’t you?” Elsa asks, laughing when she turns to watch Charlie toddling toward the stairs. Emma watches him cautiously, and bites on her lip when he starts to climb. “If you need help fighting jet lag in the morning, I can come by and coach you through it.”

Killian sighs. “Well, it’ll be rather interesting getting Charlie back on schedule, won’t it?”

Emma hums, lifting her eyebrows. “You should come over tomorrow, Elsa. I need to do laundry and I need to go shopping-” She shakes her head as she thinks about all of the things that need doing.

“I’ll come over,” Elsa chuckles. “I guess the tour went well?”

Killian bobs his head. “Absolutely fantastic. Each stop was better than the last. I’ve got plenty of stories to tell you when you come over tomorrow.”

Elsa beams at him and nods elegantly. “Of course. I look forward to tomorrow.”

Emma goes to grab Charlie from the steps and brings him to Elsa, who immediately smiles and reaches in to tickle him. “Charlie, oh my goodness, I have missed you.”

It takes Elsa a few minutes to leave, after giving Charlie a good long cuddle, and bidding them goodnight. Emma sighs as she watches Charlie and Buddy on the floor of the foyer. It feels _so_ good to be home again.

The place is just as they’d left it, with it’s warm lights, and familiar photographs. The squeaky stair still squeaks when they carry their suitcases upstairs. Charlie’s nursery is still as peaceful and calming as ever. And her bed is _much_ comfier than she remembers.

“Oh my God, I don’t care if my body is in a completely different time zone, I think I could fall asleep,” Emma groans. She closes her eyes as her legs dangle off of the edge of the bed.

Killian laughs. He has a suitcase open next to her, and Buddy’s excitedly pacing around the room. Charlie is sitting up on their bed, leaning against Killian’s pillows right above Emma’s head. He has a toy in his arms and he keeps murmuring to himself. His fingers press against her head at one point and he giggles when she looks up at him.

“The last place you slept was on the plane. I don’t think I could blame you.”

Emma turns her head to watch her husband while her hands clasp together over her middle.

She hums a laugh when Killian reaches over to tickle her toes as he’s setting clothes into the laundry hamper.

“You know, in the three years we’ve known one another, I don’t think I’ve known that your toes are ticklish,” Killian says, suddenly smirking at her. “Which is odd, because I’m quite well acquainted with your feet.”

His fingers go back to the arch of her foot and he presses there, making her flinch just a little and gasp for breath as she turns her face against her pillow. He continues to tickle her and she laughs, finally dragging her feet up onto the bed so he can’t any longer.

“Because I don’t let you tickle me. My feet are for massaging. Not tickling.”

“Ah,” he nods his head. He zips up the suitcase and takes it to their closet. When he returns, he arches an eyebrow at her. “Well, my love, I hope you’re prepared for what this discovery means for you.”

Emma narrows her eyes at him and he just grins mischievously before going to the other side of the bed to grab Charlie.

“I’m thinking I’ll try to get him ready for a nap, and we’ll see if he’ll take to it. He didn’t sleep much on the plane.”

Emma hums. “Good idea. Want help?”

She pushes herself back up to sit on the edge of the bed and Killian leaves a kiss to Charlie’s temple as he heads toward the bedroom door with one of Charlie’s favorite bedtime outfits in hand.

“Certainly, love.”

///

**month forty-four. diner, storybrooke, maine.**

“Emma, I am so, so glad you agreed to have breakfast,” Mary Margaret says, smiling wide as she settles into the booth across from her.

“Me too!” Belle gasps from her spot beside Mary Margaret.

Emma smiles as she has a sip of hot chocolate. To her left, Elsa sits, a pleasant smile on her lips. They’re gathered together for their typical friend time breakfasts, enthusiastically organized by Mary Margaret upon Emma’s arrival back in town.

Ruby joins them a heartbeat later, sinking into the booth beside Emma with a wolfish grin on her face, her eyes bright and her teeth rubbing against her lower lip.

Emma quirks an eyebrow at her curiously. “What’s up with you, Ruby?”

Ruby shrugs her shoulders and her smile softens a bit. She takes a breath. “Victor asked me to move in with him.”

Emma gasps, her eyes going wide. “Really?”

Ruby bobs her head. “Yeah. I…” Ruby seems so _happy_ , and it makes Emma smile. “I was just over at his place and he said things with the band are going really well and while you guys are back for a few months, he wants to get a little more serious with me, so he wants to start with moving in.”

Mary Margaret has a sappy grin on her face. “Oh, Ruby, that’s great!”

Emma wraps her arm around Ruby and Ruby reciprocates, both of them laughing.

“Well, I guess, if we’re sharing good news,” Belle clears her throat, sitting up in her spot. She takes a deep breath. “Will and I just got engaged. Last night.”

Emma doesn’t think she’s ever heard Mary Margaret gasp half as loud as she does then, her eyes blowing wide as she practically tackles Belle in order to get a hug. “Belle! That’s amazing!”

“I’m so happy for you guys,” Emma smiles warmly at her friend.

“Yeah! This is such good news.” Elsa agrees.

Belle’s cheeks warm to a soft color of red and nods her head. “Thank you.”

“Let’s see that ring, come on,” Ruby says, waving her hands dramatically.

Belle laughs and holds up her hands, showing them a delightful, simple engagement ring. Emma can’t help but sigh happily at the sight of it.

“Your guy has some great taste,” Ruby says, lifting an eyebrow. She grabs her coffee and has a sip, settling in against the booth.

Emma hums in agreement as she watches Belle study her hand. Emma’s almost jealous of her, getting to experience the joy of getting engaged and going through all of the steps of getting married.

But she and Killian are getting married again. And so far, planning has been just as chaotic as she could have ever dreamed.

The first time around, they hadn’t had to plan anything, except for who their wedding parties would be, and what outfit they’d wear. There are a lot of things, now that they actually get to choose, that Emma never thought about, and it’s almost enough for her to back out again and tell Killian she’s content with their wedding story.

“How’d he ask?” Mary Margaret wonders after their breakfasts arrive.

Emma cuts into her pancake and feels her phone vibrate in her pocket. She checks it, finding a picture of Charlie’s fingers in the strings of Killian’s guitar, and smiles softly before hiding her phone again.

Killian’s watching their son while Emma’s out, and later tonight over drinks at the bar, he’ll be telling his band about their decision to get married again.

“Well, since he’s been back from tour, he’s wanted to spend time together every day. He came to the library with me for work yesterday and took me out for dinner, and we went back to the library because I remembered I forgot something.” Belle explains. “And as I was digging the key out of my purse, Will got down on his knees and he said, ‘Belle, I’ve been looking my whole life for someone that makes me feel the way you make me feel, and I love you more with every passing day.’”

Belle pauses, blushing a little at the _aww’s_ that come from the table. “And then he said, ‘I don’t know why I’ve waited so long to ask you this, but I can’t wait any longer, so, will you marry me?’ And I said yes.”

Mary Margaret clasps her hands over her heart. “That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

The bell to the diner tinkles then and Mary Margaret gasps and waves her hand, summoning Regina Mills to the head of their table. She’s smiling, and she has lightness about her unlike any other.

“Hi, Regina,” Emma says.

“Emma,” Regina nods her head. “Sorry I’m late. I was…”

“It’s okay,” Emma insists. “Being back from tour has been good to all of us.”

The group at the table laughs and Regina settles into the booth with Mary Margaret and Belle.

“What’d I miss?” Regina asks.

After catching her up on the exciting news of the day, Mary Margaret looks to Emma and shrugs her shoulders. “So, Emma, how are things at home?”

Emma laughs softly. She shakes her head and sits back, licking her lips. “Good.”

Elsa nudges her in the side and Emma looks at her when she asks, “How are things with wedding planning? Are you still doing that?”

Emma can’t hide her smile. She nods. “Yeah. Actually, we’re planning on doing it in a little while. In a couple of months?”

Mary Margaret gasps. “Emma,”

Emma shrugs her shoulders. “Charlie’s not too small anymore, and we have plenty of time off now that the tours are done for a little while.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know. It feels like it’s time and we both really want to do it.” She bites down on her lip as she studies the group surrounding her. “And I was kind of hoping you guys would help?”

“Um, absolutely,” Ruby says, laughing.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Mary Margaret nods. “A thousand times, yes.”

Emma smiles warmly as Belle, Regina, and Elsa all offer their agreement to her proposition.

“Okay,” Emma feels tears burning in her eyes. “Then maybe we should get together later tonight to talk about what plans I do have. Figure out a way to get everything just right.”

Mary Margaret bobs her head and reaches across the table to take Emma’s hand. “It’s going to be even better than you could ever imagine.”

“Well, I hope so,” Emma sighs.

///

**month forty-five. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Killian has Charlie in his arms while he watches Emma pace around the living room, searching through the piles of decorations and papers for something in particular.

He tilts his head at her, grinning lopsidedly. “Darling, what are you doing?”

Emma digs into a box of fabric and then plucks out her engagement ring on a sigh. “Looking for this. I must have lost it when I took it off to wash my hands yesterday.”

“Ah,” Killian nods. “Cake tasting did get interesting.”

Emma rolls her eyes and crosses the room to grab her phone from the coffee table. “Okay. I’m gonna go pick up my wedding dress and you’re gonna…”

“Feed the dog, take Charlie shopping for a suit, stop by Marco’s to see if the trellis is ready, and if it is, I’ll ask David to bring it home, and…” He stops, thinking over the mental checklist.

His wife releases a heavy breath and walks up to him. “And you’re going to pick up dinner.”

He hums, nodding. “ _That’s_ right. I knew I was forgetting something.” He quirks an eyebrow at her and she just reaches up to play with Charlie’s fingers.

“He needs a haircut pretty bad.” Emma murmurs. “We can do that this weekend.”

When her attention settles on him again, she has a worried little crease in her brow that he leans down to kiss. “Emma, things are coming together. You and the ladies are having a planning night tomorrow. I’m going to see if the lads will play the reception. Don’t worry about it falling apart. It won’t.”

Emma nods and smiles a little at him. “Yeah.” Her smile spreads and she pushes up on her toes to kiss his lips. She turns to Charlie afterwards and kisses his cheek. “We’re doing it. We’re going to get married no matter how long it takes us to get it organized.”

He grins widely at his wife, watching as she heads toward the front door of the house. “That’s the spirit, darling. I can’t wait to see what you bring home tonight.”

Emma turns and gives him a look. “Yeah, good luck with that, babe. Bad luck to see the wedding dress before the wedding.”

Killian winks at her. “We’ll see about that, sweetheart. You know how persuasive I can be.”

His wife just hums. She opens the door and waves at them. “I’ll see you tonight. Let me know if you need me.”

He waves back at her and encourages Charlie to do the same. He suddenly chirps, “Bye bye Mama!”

Emma tilts her head to the side and smiles softly. “Bye bye, Charlie! I’ll be right back, okay? Be good for Daddy.”

Killian grins as he rubs a circle into Charlie’s back. He kisses the side of his head and Charlie beams at him. “Papa.”

Killian hums and Charlie wraps his small arms around Killian’s neck, snuggling closer, making his heart light and warm.

“Do you want to have some fun with Papa, Charlie? We’ve got to go do some things for your mum.” He chuckles when he pinches Charlie’s side and the boy squeals. “We can go to see my ship, too. How about that? If you’re good, we can see _The Jewel_.”

///

**month forty-five. main street, storybrooke, maine.**

He doesn’t have very much experience on the matter, but he’s fairly certain that his son is the cutest one-year-old on the planet.

Charlie’s standing in the changing room wearing the suit he’d chosen for him, and thankfully, it fits him completely. Killian can’t stop grinning at the sight of it. He kneels down before his boy to snap a picture and sends it to the guys, and to Liam, and to his father.

“Charlie, I do believe we’ve found you your wedding outfit. Just don’t grow too much in these two weeks, alright?” Killian asks. He meets the little boy’s eyes and it makes Charlie grin. Killian laughs. “Okay. We’ll just have to buy this, then, and finish off Mummy’s list.”

Killian pays for the suit with Charlie clinging to his leg patiently and then as they leave, Killian allows him to toddle on forward.

They run straight into Brennan as they’re walking toward Marco’s shop and Killian grins at his father when Charlie goes for his grandfather with a happy babble.

“Well, hello, Charlie,” Brennan grins. He leans down to pick Charlie up and smiles at the little boy. “It’s good seeing you. I just got your message and I thought I’d come see you in person.”

Killian smiles at his father and then admires his son. “Wasn’t he handsome in that suit?”

Brennan chuckles. He looks at Charlie and tickles his belly until he giggles and buries his face in his grandfather’s neck.

“Aye. The most handsome of gentlemen.” Brennan winks at Killian. “So, the wedding’s in two weeks.”

“Aye,” Killian nods. “Which is why we’re out today. Trying to get some things done for Emma.”

His father hums in understanding. “Well, can I do anything to help?”

Killian takes a deep breath and rakes his hand over his head. “Honestly, I think everything’s come together. I just don’t know who will watch Charlie that morning while we’re getting ready for the day and…”

“I would love to,” Brennan says, dimples pressing into his cheeks as he cranes his head to look at Charlie. “Your boy is a complete joy.”

Killian takes a step toward his father and nods as he smiles slightly.

“Reminds me a lot of you,” Brennan adds, a bittersweet look on his face. “With these little cheeks and eyes.”

His father thumbs over Charlie’s cheek and leaves a kiss to his head. He eventually looks at Killian again, and when he does, Killian takes a short breath as a smile pulls at his lips.

“I know we’ll never have those years back, but I want you to know that you can come around any time you’d like to when we’re home. I want you and Charlie, and any children Emma and I have in the future, to have a good relationship.”

Brennan nods his head. “I’ll have to take you up on that.”

“Perhaps after the wedding chaos dissolves, you can come over for supper. We can invite Liam and Elsa as well.”

His father’s smile spreads wide and he chuckles warmly. “I would love that, Killian.”

///

**month forty-five. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

“Hello?” Emma calls out from the front door. “I’m home!”

He’s standing in the kitchen with a bag of grilled cheese and onion rings sitting on the counter while he feeds the dog and Charlie naps upstairs. He’d fallen asleep halfway between the house and the diner, snuggled against him while he carried everything in his arms.

“In the kitchen, love.” Killian says in return. He chuckles when Buddy greedily starts eating his food and then puts the bag of food back where it belongs.

Emma steps into the room after a few moments, a big bag in her arms. She appears breathless and flushed, and the second she sees him, she smiles.

“Hey,” she breathes. After a moment, she steps back, her fingers gripping tighter the dress bag in her arms. “I’m gonna go hide this.”

Killian arches an eyebrow at her. “Hide it? Darling, I’m not five. I can wait two weeks.”

She hums skeptically and then she’s gone, darting up the stairs.

Killian smirks to himself and grabs their dinner as well as two plates that he decorates before carrying them to the kitchen table. He pours himself something to drink and then grabs Charlie’s suit from the counter where he’d left it, intending to bring it upstairs for safe keeping, but then Emma comes to the foot of the stairs, looking as adorable as ever in her semi-relaxed state.

“What’s this?” Emma asks, pointing to the bag in his arms.

He lifts his eyebrows playfully. “I don’t know. What do you think it is?”

His wife glares at him slightly and tilts her head to the side as one eyebrow goes up. “Is it Charlie’s suit?”

Killian shrugs. He drags his tongue over his lower lip as he gazes up at her. The sunshine is in her hair and it caresses the lines of her face. She laughs. “Is it? I want to see.”

He shrugs again and then she reaches out to grab at it, but he holds it high above his head and backs up from the stairs. She comes after him, of course, pushing up on her toes and gripping onto his shoulder as she laughs with him and her attempt at grabbing the bag.

“You can’t see it until the wedding, Swan. It’s bad luck, you know.”

Emma drops to the floor and crosses her arms. Her jaw falls agape with a smile on her lips. “Seriously?”

Killian winks and brings the bag down. “Just kidding, darling.” He leans forward as she takes the bag from him and kisses her forehead. “I’ve got a picture if you’d like to see him in it.”

“Um, obviously,” Emma laughs.

He fishes his phone out of his pocket and pulls up the photo, grinning at the look on her face. She frowns and _aww’s_ and then she nods.

“It’s perfect. Is he gonna match you?”

“I don’t know. Probably.” Killian says. “Most tuxedos do look alike, love.”

Emma hums. She has a quick peek into the bag and bobs her head. “Well, I’m glad it worked out. Did you get everything else done too?”

“Aye. And we managed to stop by my boat for a little while.”

His wife tilts her head to the side. “Yeah? Did he have fun?”

“I like to think he did,” Killian smiles. “He was quite tired when we got home. He’ll probably sleep through the night. I fed him while we were out.” Emma smiles in appreciation and hands him Charlie’s suit. “Dinner’s in the kitchen. I’ll take this upstairs.”

“Okay.” Emma sighs.

He lowers a kiss to her forehead and lingers there before murmuring, “Love you.”

“Love you too,” his wife replies lowly.

She reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ears as he steps away from her. He watches her float toward the kitchen and his heart jumps when her laughter echoes through the house and mingles with Buddy’s voice as Killian reaches the top of the stairs.

///

After dinner, Emma continues her work on the table dressings in the living room.

She kind of hates all of the crafts she has to do for this wedding, but she also wants it to look nice and to not be thrown together. After all, this is their day, honestly and purely _theirs_.

Killian’s in his music room playing the guitar and it drifts through the house, gently soothing her even though she could easily throw something across the room when it doesn’t cooperate with her.

She isn’t sure how long she stays sitting on the floor of the living room with the cloth and sewing machine Mary Margaret brought over, but eventually, Killian stops playing and singing and instead comes to stand in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms folded and a smirk on his lips.

“You’re still at it?” he asks.

Emma looks up at him and drags her fingers through her hair as she releases a heavy sigh. “Yeah. I want to try to get most of this done so the girls aren’t here all night tomorrow.”

Killian hums. He pushes off of the doorframe and steps into the room. “It’s nearly half eleven. I think you should come to bed with me.”

She thinks about fighting him, but then she looks down at the work that needs doing and instead groans and throws her head back.

Her husband chuckles and when she looks back at him, he’s crossing into her space, holding out his hands for her to grab onto. When she’s on her feet, he immediately kneels down, scooping her into his arms.

Emma squeaks, not prepared for the sudden action. “What are you doing?”

Killian smiles at her as she wraps her arms around his neck. “Practicing for our wedding night.”

She rolls her eyes and tugs at his hair, making him laugh. “You’re such an idiot. I don’t know why I’m marrying you.”

“Hmm,” Killian hums. “Well, I like to think I have some redeemable qualities about me.”

He starts walking with her up the stairs and she holds on for her life, but he’s strong, and he doesn’t let go of her until they reach their bedroom and he settles her down on the bed.

Killian’s leaning over her, his eyes alight with deviousness, and Emma narrows her eyes at him when he shifts her so she’s lying with her head on her pillow, her feet at the end of the bed. He carefully settles himself down at the foot of the bed and she really should have anticipated it, because it’s _Killian_ , but the next thing she knows, he’s tickling her and she can’t stop laughing.

“Killian,” she manages to say between bouts of laughter.

“Is something bothering you, my love?” Killian asks. His fingers keep their gentle game on the balls of her feet and no matter how hard she yanks her feet, he holds her steadier.

“What do I have to do to make you stop?” she laughs breathlessly.

Killian shrugs. “Well, you know, I did show you Charlie’s suit, so the least you could do is show me your dress. I’m incredibly interested in seeing it.”

Emma shakes her head. “No way. I want you to see it on me when I’m walking the aisle. That’s the first time I want you to see it.”

With a dramatic sigh, he stops tickling her and shakes his head. “I suppose that would be fine.”

Emma pulls herself up so she’s sitting and wraps her arms around her knees. She settles her head on them and sighs softly. “Are we going to be ready in two weeks?”

Her husband smiles. “I hope so. Because if I have to wait any longer I fear I might marry us myself.”

She laughs. “Well, at that point, I think I would let you. We’ve been talking about this for quite some time.”

Killian has a gentle look in his eyes as he glances at the alarm clock on her bed stand. He offers her his hand and she takes it.

“Are you going to make me stay over with Liam the night before the wedding?” Killian asks as they stand in the bathroom getting ready for bed.

Emma laughs. “I don’t know if Charlie would like that very much.”

“Oh, but _you_ would,” Killian fills in the blank so she’ll laugh, and she does, rolling her eyes. “I suppose it makes sense. You do like your space in bed.”

She steps over to him and sets her hand on his shoulder and her lips to his cheek. “I would miss you too, Killian.”

She keeps a soft smile on her lips as she squeezes toothpaste out for herself. Killian winks at her in the mirror.

“I would miss you infinitely more.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the end! I just want to thank everyone for their support for this fic individually, and for the universe as a whole! This has been such a fun ride for me and I hope it has been for you too!

epilogue.

**month forty-six. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Emma Swan is happy.

Music plays in the background, but there’s so much chatter in the room around Emma that she can hardly hear it. It soothes her, though, and despite the fact that she could be completely and utterly terrified, or anxious, she feels nothing but joy rushing through her veins.

She’s sitting in her living room in front of the vanity that the girls had brought downstairs for her and Charlie’s sitting in her lap grinning up at her as Ruby does Emma’s hair.

“What time is it?” Emma asks.

Mary Margaret smiles as she comes to stand next to the vanity. “Ten fifteen. And everything looks wonderful. The weather is perfect and David texted me a minute ago to tell me that Killian’s awake and he’s not sick or nervous.”

Emma laughs. She brushes back Charlie’s darkening hair and her son says, “Mama, down?”

Mary Margaret takes the little boy off of her lap and Elsa comes to grab him. “Come on, little one, Auntie Elsa has to take you to see Daddy and Grandpa.”

“Daddy?” Charlie babbles curiously.

It makes Elsa laugh. “ _Yes_. Daddy. We’re going to see him in just a few minutes, okay?”

Emma meets Elsa’s eyes and smiles. “Make sure he’s dressed before and that they don’t let him get messy.”

“Of course,” Elsa laughs. “I’ll be right back.”

Emma looks down at the vanity and turns to Elsa, making Ruby stop what she’s doing on her hair. “Wait, Elsa!” Her sister-in-law turns around, her eyes wide. “Sorry. I want you to take this to Killian.”

Elsa’s smile is wry and she comes back to her side, taking the envelope from her delicately. “What’s this?”

Emma shrugs, smiling coyly. “A note. For my husband.”

Elsa hums. Ruby, Mary Margaret, and Belle all get the giggles all at once, making Emma roll her eyes.

“I’ll make sure he gets it safely,” Elsa says with a low nod. Emma takes the opportunity to give Charlie’s fingers a quick squeeze.

“Be good, baby boy. I’ll see you in a little while, okay?”

Charlie doesn’t know what’s happening, but it’s alright, because Elsa is one of his favorite people, and Emma knows he won’t cry while he’s with her.

“We’ll be just fine,” Elsa promises. “I’m going to take him to see Daddy and then Grandpa’s going to take him to the harbor.”

Emma smiles at the plan they’d set into place. It being that Charlie spent the night with Emma while Killian stayed with Liam and Elsa, it’s only fitting that he gets to see his son for a little while before the wedding too.

“Don’t get dressed without me!” Elsa singsongs as she carries Charlie out of the room.

“Okay!”

Emma listens as the front door closes a few moments later. She looks at her reflection in the mirror and licks her lips as Ruby puts on the finishing touches to her hair.

“You look hot, Emma,” Ruby winks at her. “Killian’s gonna have a hard time keeping his hands to himself.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “Well, I should hope so. He’s my husband.”

Ruby laughs and then goes to grab her makeup bag. She sets it down on the vanity and pulls up a chair. “Okay, let’s make you into a princess, sweet cheeks.”

///

**month forty-six. liam and elsa’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

Killian Jones is happy.

He’s laughing with his groomsmen, and Liam keeps things light with the addition of some old videos from when Killian was young.

“Oh, good grief, Liam, not this video.” Killian buries his face in his hands and Liam just cackles as he plays the video on.

“What, you don’t want to see how flustered you were for your first show?”

Robin, from his spot beside Killian on the couch, claps him on the shoulder and laughs. “You’re like a five-year-old boy here, Jones. I can’t believe it.”

Killian rolls his eyes and removes his hands from his face so he can knock Robin on the back of his head. He glances over at David, who has a grin on his lips as he watches the video, and then he looks at his father, who’s sitting on the other side of him smiling wider than he’s ever seen.

“Why are we spending the morning of my wedding reminiscing over how silly I looked when I was thirteen?”

Liam shrugs his shoulders and hits the eject button on the player now that the clip is finished. “I figured now was as good a time as any.”

“You nervous, Jones?” Jefferson asks, coming into the room with a bottle of rum. He grins wryly as he holds it up. “I figured we could indulge in our traditional wedding day drink of rum to take the edge off.”

Killian shakes his head. “I’m not nervous. I just want to see her again.”

Will Scarlet, from his position sitting on the floor in front of the couch, turns his head.

“As somebody who’s about to do this wedding thing,” Scarlet pivots more, his eyebrow lifting. “I commend you for that, mate. You’re about to get up there and swear your entire life away.”

“To be fair, I’ve done it once already,” Killian chuckles. “This time it’s just in front of everyone we know.”

Scarlet gives him a look. “You’re the biggest idiot I know.”

He laughs again and shrugs his shoulders. “I know.”

It’s then that Elsa arrives with Charlie, her voice carrying into the room when she says, “Is there somebody here that goes by Daddy? Because this little one has been looking for him for _hours_.”

Killian removes his hands from his face and rises to his feet, his heart lifting at the sight of his little boy in Elsa’s arms.

“Daddy!” he shrieks, holding his arms out and wiggling in Elsa’s arms.

Killian beams as he grabs his son from Elsa and gives his cheek an obscene amount of kisses.

“Oh, my boy, I’ve missed you.” Killian settles his palm against Charlie’s belly and his son leans heavily against him. “Did you sleep well?”

Charlie babbles against him and he hums in understanding. “Well, don’t worry, Charlie, tonight I’ll be back home with you and Mummy.”

Elsa smiles at him and holds out a white envelope, making Killian arch an eyebrow.

“Who’s it from?” he asks with a twinkle in his eye. He has a feeling he knows exactly who it’s from, and Elsa knows it. She smiles a little more and shrugs.

Killian finds Emma’s handwriting on the envelope and can’t help but grin. _To My Husband._

“Ah, it’s from my wife,” he says lowly, and Elsa chuckles.

His groomsmen are drinking rum and chatting loudly about anything but the upcoming nuptials, but Killian doesn’t mind. This day is for he and Emma, and so far, it’s been nothing short of easy.

He flips the envelope over and pulls the card out. His heart squeezes tight at the note she’s written him, and he feels silly not having written anything for her to read. He _should_ have thought of this, but all he was worried about was making sure his vows were perfect. He thinks they are, but time will tell.

“Dear Husband,” he reads in a low murmur. “Today, we get to do this our way, and I’m not nervous at all about any of it. When I woke up this morning and you weren’t here, all I wanted was to text you, but you’ll be glad to know I restrained myself and instead decided to write this note. I did it last time, so I think it’s okay this time too.”

He laughs a little. He feels tears rising up in his eyes, unexpectedly.

“I’m ready to have these new memories. I’m ready to officially feel like you’re mine, in front of all of our friends and family. So I promise I’ll be there on time in this white dress you keep telling me you haven’t seen. I have a feeling you have, but I can’t prove it.”

Killian laughs happily, shaking his head.

“Anyway, I can’t wait to see you. I can’t wait to marry you all over again. I can’t wait for this chapter in our story to begin. And I can’t wait for this honeymoon you’ve been teasing me about.” His smile spreads and he leans his head against his son’s. “Love, your wife.”

Elsa just smiles coyly and he turns his face to kiss Charlie’s head.

He can’t wait either.

///

**month forty-six. emma and killian’s house, storybrooke, maine.**

“Emma, you’re so beautiful,” Mary Margaret says on a whimsical sigh. Her hands clasp together over her heart and she has the kindest smile on her lips.

Emma bites down on her lip as she turns to check herself out in the mirror. It’s starting to feel so real, and nothing could wipe the smile from her lips because of that very fact.

It’s taken them quite some time to get here, to the wedding they’d spent so long dreaming about, but it’s finally time.

She’s going to walk down the aisle and she’s actually going to know who she’s marrying. And she loves him with her whole heart.

“Thanks, Mary Margaret,” Emma replies softly.

She wraps her arms around Mary Margaret and squeezes her eyes shut. “I’m so glad you’ve decided to do this. It’s going to be so perfect.”

Emma nods in agreement as they pull apart. “Yeah. I can’t believe it’s finally happening. Killian and I have wanted to do this for a few years now.”

Mary Margaret’s eyes look glassy and she reaches up to adjust the flower in Emma’s hair. “You’ve come so far. Do you remember your first wedding? You were _so_ nervous.”

Emma releases a sigh at the memories that often leave her cringing. “I do remember.”

She turns to see her bridesmaids. Belle, Ruby, Regina, and Elsa are all sitting there smiling at her.

“You’re very beautiful,” Elsa says, rising to her feet and taking Emma’s hands. “And I just want to remind you that four years ago on your wedding day, you and Killian didn’t know who each other were, so today, it’s going to be so much different. He loves you, Emma, and I know he’d go any distance for you to know that.”

Emma nods her head. “I know.”

The front door opens and David walks inside, allowing both Rosie and Leopold to come running into the room, his eyes huge and smile even wider. Elsa graciously steps away, her cheeks rosy and her smile spread wide at the addition of the little ones to their gathering.

“Emma!” Leo gasps. “You’re so pretty!”

Emma giggles, giving a little twirl for him. “Thanks, kid.”

Rosie goes to Charlie’s toys that lay out where he’d left them and Emma finds herself longing for a little girl in that moment more than she ever has.

She can imagine she’d be equally as wonderful as Charlie, and she’d steal Killian’s heart from the start. She can see her husband with a new baby in his arms and it takes her breath away, how badly she realizes she wants another kid.

“You’re absolutely beautiful, Emma,” David’s voice interrupts her thoughts.

She looks at him and laughs, tears already forming in her eyes from thinking about Killian with a little girl in his arms. David steps up to her and his warm knuckles brush away her tears.

“Killian’s really excited to see you,” he says, a smile on his lips. “And I know Charlie can’t wait either. He and Brennan were heading to the harbor when I left the house.”

Emma nods. “That’s good.” She takes a deep breath and dances her fingers down her sides. “Was he in his suit? Was it-”

David grins. “Yes. He was in his suit. They both were. Killian helped Charlie put his on. He looked pretty dang cute, if I can say so.”

Emma smiles just thinking about her little boy all dressed up for the wedding. “I’m excited to see them.”

She turns to check her phone and listens to her song playing on the speakers for a few moments as she gazes outside the window at the day.

It truly is the best day for the wedding, she thinks, because the sun is shining bright and there isn’t a nasty cloud to be seen.

They’d decided that they wanted to get married by the water, because Killian’s boat is by the water, and that’s where they’re having the reception.

They’re going to host their friends and family well into the evening and end the night with some fireworks, because, really, when you’re a platinum selling artist, you have money to blow on such things.

It was Killian’s idea, proposed to her as she was changing the baby’s diaper, and she’d been  _incredibly_ confused as to why he suddenly decided to ask her if they could have fireworks at their wedding, but she agreed once she had Charlie back on his feet.

“So when should we head over there?” Emma asks, turning back to face her friends.

Mary Margaret checks for the time and claps her hands together. “Well, it’s almost twelve thirty. David, are they heading to the harbor soon?”

“Yes. They should be.” David says, furrowing his brow. “That’s why I came over anyway.”

Emma rolls her eyes and laughs as she crosses the room to him. “You ready to walk me down the aisle again?”

David has tears in his eyes in a heartbeat and his smile is fragile. “Absolutely.”

The man she’s considered to be her father for much of her adult life leans in to kiss her cheek and she smiles in turn, her eyes falling shut for a heartbeat.

“I’m proud of you,” David says when he leans back again. “And Killian is everything I ever hoped for you.”

“Thank you, David.” Emma smiles gently at him. Then, she lifts an eyebrow. “I’m glad you like my husband.”

David and Mary Margaret both laugh and Emma joins them before turning back to look at her bridesmaids.

“Okay, I’m ready. Do I look ready? Will Killian forget how to speak when he sees me?”

Ruby hops up from the couch and walks toward her, lifting her eyebrows as she nods. “Uh, abso-freaking-lutely.” She comes to stand before Emma and winks at her. “What do you say we place a bet on who the guy is? Hot as hell, accented, beard?”

Emma quirks a brow. “Hmm. Musician. Smart. Kind.”

Ruby laughs and wraps her arms around Emma’s neck. “I’m glad you’re doing this, Emma.”

“Me too.”

///

**month forty-six. harbor, storybrooke, maine.**

He’s standing at the altar, laughing because his son keeps getting out of his father’s lap in order to come see him.

It’s the third time in a matter of five minutes, and Killian kneels down so he’s at eye-level with his boy, who grins at him and says, “Dada play?”

“No, Charlie, I can’t play right now,” Killian says kindly. He leans in to kiss his forehead. “Go play with Grandpa.”

He turns to see his father crouching right beside them, a humored smile on his lips. “It’s alright, lad, we can have some fun over here. Alright?”

Charlie goes this time with a little bob of his head and Killian takes a deep breath as he rises back to his feet and watches as Brennan carries Charlie back to his seat.

There are only a few rows of chairs, filled with the eager faces of those he and Emma know and love. He waves at a few of them, and then leaves his spot in order to go greet some extended family that made the journey to see them.

There are photographers and there’s a film team here from the network that filmed their first wedding, here to do some sort of ‘Where Are They Now’, but he hasn’t paid them any attention all day, instead focusing on the fact that this is his wedding day.

He starts to get nervous as he heads back to stand at the altar.

He’s nervous to finally see Emma, mostly, and nervous because this is the only time they’ll do this for themselves. This time, it’s _real_ and it isn’t for sake of good television.

Granny sits with August in the front row and Killian beams as he approaches them. “Hey! It’s been quite some time since we’ve seen you. How was your trip into town?”

August smiles back at him. “Good. Thanks for inviting me.”

Leo and Rosie arrive with Elsa, who only momentarily makes her entrance to the venue with the little ones so they can sit by Granny. She smiles at him and winks.

“She’s on her way,” Elsa informs him. “And she’s so beautiful. Killian Jones, you won’t know what hit you.”

He opens his mouth to respond, but he finds that he doesn’t know what to say. He watches as Elsa walks away quickly, and then returns to his post at the front of the guests gathered.

His heart races just a bit faster and he starts to rock in place just a little.

He finds Charlie, sitting so politely beside his grandfather in the front, a smile on his lips as he plays with a toy that Brennan must have offered him.

And suddenly everything’s all right again. He just can’t wait to see her.

///

There are exactly four things that Emma notices when she stands at the end of the aisle before seeing her husband again.

One, the people gathered all smile brightly at her and her heart squeezes at the sight of all of these people who have come together to watch them join together again.

The second and third things she notices are that August made it, and so did Tink, who appears to have just gotten off of a flight, because she’s wearing a totally thrown together outfit, but she smiles regardless.

The fourth is Charlie in Brennan’s arms, smiling at her as he says, “Mama!”

Emma can’t help but smile happily at the sound of his voice and she waves at him when he waves at her.

As David walks her forward, she turns her attention on a short breath to the man at the end of the aisle, staring back at her with tears in his eyes and the most loving of smiles.

Emma laughs a little at the sight of him, because she’s _so_ happy that they’re doing this.

The sun is warm on her head and it gives a pleasant glow to her husband, who stands there waiting for her to make it to him.

It’s almost as she remembers, only it’s better, because she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s thinking about how beautiful she is.

She’s thinking the same thing, after all, about him, with his hair combed through a few too many times, and his suit so fitting and snug on his body.

His smile is honestly the most endearing part of him at the moment, half-wobbly and awestruck by her. It means the world to her that she can still surprise and render him speechless after four years together.

David kisses her cheek and releases her arm when she’s close enough and Emma bites her lip slightly when she steps forward, turning to Killian. Her heart skips a beat when his fingers slide into her palms and fold hers up into his.

His eyes shine bluer than ever, a certain joy and love so evident there that it steals her breath from her lungs entirely.

_This_ is exactly how she’d hoped it would be.

“Hey,” she says softly, and she sees how much warmer his eyes get, crinkling at the corners as his cheeks fill with a fuller smile.

“Hi, Emma.”

It takes a little while for them to actually get to say ‘I do’, but when they do, Emma grins and Killian lifts his eyebrows as his dimples pop forth in one of the sweetest smiles she has ever seen on his lips.

They’ve been through _so_ much together, and to see him just as happy as she is makes this moment all the better.

It’s her turn to tell him her vows, and because she wrote them herself, she’s only a little nervous, because he’ll undoubtedly outdo her with his stupid poetic mind.

“Once, almost four years ago, I walked down the aisle to meet the man who would be my husband. I was terrified. I remember I kept pacing that whole morning and I hadn’t eaten anything for a day.”

The group chuckles politely and Emma smiles slightly.

“But if I had known I was about to marry my best friend, my one true love, I don’t think I would have been.” She pauses. “You make me better, Killian, and I promise that I’ll try to do that for you, every day we spend together or apart. I promise I’ll be at most of your shows,”

She laughs when Killian does and bites down on her lip. He’s still holding her hand as she holds her vows in the other and she squeezes it.

“And I’ll support you in everything you do. I promise I’ll be there at the end of those really long days, and I’ll be there at two in the morning when inspiration hits and you just can’t wait to share with me. I promise I’ll celebrate with you when you hit it big, and I’ll love you during those moments of failure. I promise you a home.”

Emma takes a steadying breath. “You make every day better, Killian. I’ll love you every day until our story is done.”

As Killian stares at her, she feels breathless. There’s a certain raw feeling about having written these words for each other. He looks at her like he wants to kiss her, but he waits, instead grabbing his vows from Liam when he hands them to him.

“Emma, you are fearless, strong, and bloody brilliant. Sometimes I wonder what luck I ran into when we were paired to be married.”

Their family and friends laugh and Emma shakes her head slightly as her cheeks fill with a soft blush.

Killian cants his head to the side and meets her eyes for a moment as he says what he must have memorized. “What I do know is that I fell in love with you because who you are is so incredibly beautiful.”

He pauses so he can study her, as if verifying his words for himself, and then nods as his tongue darts out to lick his lips before reading from his paper, “I promise to laugh with you and to cry with you. I promise I’ll lift you up in every endeavor you set out on, and I’ll support you even when things aren’t going terribly well.”

Her heart squeezes tight in her chest.

“And I promise I’ll sleep in with you and I’ll write far too many songs about the color of your hair or the way my name sounds on your lips.”

She rolls her eyes and laughs, making him chuckle.

“I promise you my future, that I’ll be there for you until my last breath, and I promise you my present, that I’ll listen to you tell me stories about your day and I’ll care for you when you’re feeling down. I promise you foot rubs and sailing trips and I promise I’ll never take you for granted for as long as I live, because I know with every fiber of my being that you and I were brought together for a reason.”

Emma’s eyes burn with tears as she smiles at him and gives his hand a gentle squeeze. He folds up his vows and tucks them into his pocket, turning to her fully.

His eyes have tears in them and he takes a soft breath. “You’re the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, Emma Swan, and I can’t believe I get to call you mine. I love you. I’m always yours.”

She nods her head at him, her smile spreading. “And I’m yours.”

///

When the officiant finally pronounces them man and wife, for the second time, Killian doesn’t wait any longer than he has to. His arms go around Emma’s middle and she giggles as she pushes up onto her toes, her arms wrapping around his neck.

They kiss and the people gathered all cheer, whistling and clapping.

It’s far, far better than he could have ever dreamed. It’s even better than their first wedding kiss, which was fairly good to begin with. Emma tastes sweet and he can’t stop smiling as she falls onto her feet again.

She gazes at him and he offers her his arm, to which she gladly accepts, and they turn toward their family and friends, finding all of them equally as giddy as they are.

“Papa,” Charlie calls as they start to walk. Killian glances at his wife and she nods her head.

He takes his son from his father, who has an incredibly happy look on his face, and Charlie immediately gives him a sloppy kiss to his cheek as soon as he’s settled on his hip.

Emma smiles at their son and touches his hands before taking Killian’s again.

They lead the way to their reception area, which is right beside _The Jewel of the Realm_ , and stop along the way so Charlie can walk on his own. He reaches up to take Killian’s hand and he can’t refuse his son, especially when he’s been so well behaved all day long.

Killian smiles at Emma then, his wife with golden beams of light in her hair and pure joy in her laughter.

“You look beautiful,” he says. “I’m glad I didn’t sneak a peek early.”

She takes his hand and presses her lips against his cheek. “Me too.” Emma takes a moment to study him, her joy evident in the brightness of her eyes. “Let’s go to our party. I want to dance with my husband.”

Killian nods his head. “And I want to dance with my wife.”

It shouldn’t fill him with such unbridled joy, because they’ve been married for almost four years, but it does. This day is truly theirs. He hardly notices the cameras on them as they start walking toward his boat.

After he gives Charlie to Liam, he takes Emma’s hand to guide her to the dance floor.

She has him convinced that she’s pure sunlight, standing there in white, her hair a golden treasure as it curls over her shoulders.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asks.

Emma just scoffs and he holds her closer, leaving a kiss to her temple.

“You’re very handsome in your tux, Killian,” Emma says, and he pulls back just slightly, arching an eyebrow so she’ll laugh. He isn’t let down. “We did it. We got married. For real. For us.”

“Aye, love,” he says on a grin. “We did.”

Emma takes a soft breath and her arms loop around his neck as she tilts her head at him. “Let’s go away for a while, Killian. We need a vacation.”

He chuckles lowly. “What do you think the honeymoon’s for, love?”

Emma kisses him then and he thinks he might love her more, if it’s possible. “That sounds really, really good.”

He hums. “There isn’t anything better than seeing you at the beach.”

His wife rolls her eyes and swats the back of his head. It makes him laugh as they continue their dance.

“I do love you, Emma.”

“And I love you.”

///

The afternoon fades into dusk and dusk into night over the course of so many intimate moments that Emma knows she’ll forget.

There’s so much food, thanks to Mary Margaret and her diligence to ensure they had enough to keep everyone satisfied. But above all else, there’s so, so much dancing, that Emma thinks she might never move again.

She and Killian dance, mostly, together, in a variety of different styles to a variety of different paced songs that the band decides to play. With Robin on vocals, the sound is a little different, but it’s still The Pirates.

After a while of playing, the guys get the DJ to play some songs, and they dance with their ladies on the dance floor. Jefferson finds himself a friend in Tink, but Emma doesn’t focus on them, instead focusing on the way Killian stares at her as the sunlight begins to fade, and how blissfully  _happy_ their son is in his arms as they dance together.

He’s adorable, wearing a matching suit to his father, and Emma loves how excited he is about getting to dance with them.

Charlie eventually falls asleep as soon as the sugar rush from eating the cake fades away and he rests in Elsa’s arms when Killian insists upon dragging Emma back onto the dance floor for one last dance. She sees light in his eyes, as if he’s up to something.

She has removed her shoes and Killian lost his jacket a long while ago. Her arms wrap around his neck and his fingers settle against her hips, and she almost rests her head against his collarbone, but ultimately decides against it, because she loves the way he’s staring at her just a little too much.

It doesn’t take long for her to realize why he asked her to dance with him. The fireworks start, illuminating the sky in pretty blues, purples, and reds.

Emma laughs and Killian just wiggles his eyebrows at her as she finally collapses against him so he can hold her while they watch the display.

After a few minutes, she looks back up at her husband, at how his face is colored by the light in the sky, and he looks down at her. His hold on her tightens and she presses up onto her toes so she can kiss him.

“Thank you,” she tells him quietly.

Killian’s lips press against her forehead and linger there. “The night isn’t over yet, darling.”

Emma laughs and leans against him again to watch the grand finale of colors and bright lights.

They bid their guests goodnight and thank them for coming while Charlie rests on Killian’s hip, his head buried in his father’s neck, and as soon as the last of their friends surround them, Mary Margaret informs them that she and David will take care of the clean up.

“Are you sure?” Emma asks. “We can-”

“No, Emma,” David shakes his head. “We’ve got this.”

She rewards them with a small smile and hugs both of them. “We’ll see you when we get back from our honeymoon, I guess.”

“Have fun!” Mary Margaret calls after them.

Emma cringes a little, but takes her husband’s hand and walks onward with her shoes dangling from her free fingers.

“Tonight was really fun,” she tells Killian.

She looks up at him to find his smile. “Even better than our first, do you think?”

Emma laughs. She glances at Charlie in Killian’s arms then and leans her head against Killian’s shoulder. “Yes. So much better than our first.”

Emma considers just how lucky she is in that moment, that she was able to find this man, that he’s given her a home and a family. He’s more than she could have ever hoped for.

“Hey, Killian?” she asks quietly as soon as they reach their front porch.

He hums, arching an eyebrow. He turns to her and she just stares at him, a smile slowly filling her lips.

“I’m yours.”

The corners of his lips curl up and he kisses her softly. “And I’m yours. Always yours.”


End file.
